Seas Between Us (Broad Have Roared) by Enigmaticblue

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Summary: Set in an alternate Angel S5, wherein Andrew tells Buffy that Spike's alive after Damage and she does something about it, upsetting the power structure while she's at it.

Author's Notes: This story takes place after Bring Out Your Dead, and may make a little more sense if you read that one first. The thing to notice is that Lindsey does not enter into this story. I didn't want to deal with the boy since I'm mostly ignoring canon. Just so you aren't terribly surprised.

Rating: PG-13


Chapters 5 & 6

Chapter 5: Don't Go Anywhere

"I cry just a little bit/just a little bit/every day ./ Get by just a little bit/just a little bit/that way./I know, I know/I should have known./Bluer/than the blue devils/bluer than this pale blue angel./Bluer than all of my troubles/Love is never far from danger."~Over the Rhine , "Bluer"

Angel chuckled nervously. "You know, that's a funny question."

"Watch me not laughing," she said in all earnestness. Suddenly, all the fire went out of her. "I'm so sorry, Angel."

He stared at her. "For what?"

She rolled her eyes. "What do you mean, 'for what'? You were there, weren't you. That—bitch hijacked my body and used it—" Cordy's eyes narrowed to little slits. "When I get my hands on her..."

"You can't," Angel said. "She's gone, Cordy. Really gone."

Cordelia sighed. "Too bad. I would have thought up something really painful. So where am I again?"

"In the hospital," Angel said firmly. "We didn't know if you were going to—wake up." His voice cracked just a little on the last word, and Cordy put her hand over his.

She smiled at him. "Well, I'm awake now and definitely ready to get out of here." Her nose wrinkled. "I don't suppose my apartment is still mine."

"We had to move your things back to the hotel," Angel confessed. "After I saw you—"

She shot him a glare. "Do you know how bored I was?" Cordelia demanded. "I thought you were going to get me out."

Angel looked affronted. "You were happy!"

"I was bored!" Cordelia shot back, and then she sighed. "Never mind, Angel. It's done. Can I go back to the hotel now?"

Angel winced. "Well, you see, there might be a problem with that."

~~~~~

She wouldn't stop touching him. Right now, she was holding his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Spike didn't know what to make of it. It was nice—the fact that the feeling had definitely come back into his fingers was nicer still—but Buffy had never done anything like this before.

The Slayer had never been so public with him before.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

He glanced over at her sharply. "What? No, nothing's wrong, pet."

"You seem jumpy," she observed. "If you don't think you can handle this, that's fine, Spike. Maybe you should allow yourself to heal up a little more."

Spike shook his head. " Don't need fine motor control to handle an ax, now do I?"

Buffy's mind wandered to what Spike might do with his "fine motor control." She forced the idea to one side and focused on his face. He still looked uncomfortable. "Out with it."

"Buffy—"

"I'm all into talking and you're not saying anything," she observed. "So what gives?"

Spike sighed. "You're holding my hand."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, but—you never held my hand before."

Buffy flushed. It was partly shame—shame that they had done so many other things but hadn't managed something so simple as holding hands. "Well, get used to it," she replied. "I plan on doing a lot of things we've never done before."

That sent Spike's eyebrows right up into his hairline. "Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know," Buffy replied. They were in the elevator of Wolfram & Hart now, and she grinned. "Like kissing you in an elevator."

She was as good as her word, and when the doors slid open, they were still lip-locked. "Can't you two get a room?" Harmony huffed, staring at the couple.

Buffy broke away from Spike slowly. "Why? Jealous, Harm?"

"Oh, please," Harmony shot back. "I could have had Spikey anytime, but I've got my eye on something better. I'm a career woman now," she finished proudly.

"Sure you are," Buffy said, condescension dripping from her voice. "Harmony, Spike wouldn't—"

Spike shut her up with another kiss and quickly ushered her out of the elevator. He and Harmony's brief tryst was suddenly coming back to haunt him, and if Buffy found out about it she'd never forgive him.

Too late.

"Spike already had me," Harmony shot back as the elevator doors closed. "I was the one that broke up with him!"

Spike shut his eyes, hoping that Buffy believed the other vampire was referring to something in the distant—rather than the recent—past.

"What was she talking about?" Buffy demanded.

He hesitated. "It wasn't anything important."

"You slept with her, didn't you?" The Slayer's eyes had narrowed, and Spike knew he was in for it now. Buffy was going to stake him.

"It was a mistake?" he offered hesitantly. "I'd just become solid, and I—"

Her eyebrow arched, Buffy sweetly suggested, "You just wanted to feel?"

"Somethin' like that," he admitted. "Buffy, really, it wasn't anythin'. You know how I feel about you."

"I'm beginning to have my doubts," she replied coolly. "You don't come see me, you don't even call, and you sleep with Harmony. What am I supposed to think, Spike? I guess you really don't want anything to do with me."

She tugged her hand out of his and started back down the hall, away from Wesley's office. "No, Buffy! That's not it at all!"

The Slayer stopped. She was hurt, but not nearly as much as she was pretending. Buffy knew exactly why Spike had slept with Harmony immediately after becoming solid again. After months of not being able to touch anything, why wouldn't he have wanted to connect? And why had Spike been with Harmony in the first place, except for the physical comfort? It wasn't like he had been with her for the conversation.

She turned to face him, and the guilt hit her when she saw the panic and fear on Spike's face. "I'm not going anywhere," Buffy finally assured him. "But from now on, I'm the one you sleep with if you want to feel. Got it?"

"Why would I want anyone else when you're here?" he asked, genuinely puzzled.

Buffy remembered how sweet Spike could be when he wasn't putting his foot in his mouth. "Good. Then we can finish this conversation at my hotel, after we kill the demon."

Something shifted in his eyes. "Your hotel, huh?"

"You got a better suggestion?" she asked.

Spike was ambivalent about starting out their relationship in bed again. "You sure, pet?"

"I told you, I'm not letting you out of my sight," Buffy replied. "We can decide later exactly what we're going to do in my hotel room."

~~~~~

Fred leaned back in her chair wearily. "I didn't realize you had so much going on, Wes."

His in-box was still half full, and they had been going through files and reports all day. In some ways, that was the problem with being at Wolfram & Hart. Working with Angel had often been overwhelming, sometimes down-right terrifying, but they rarely knew about so many things going wrong as he did on any given day at the law firm.

In fact, there was so much information, there was little he could effectively do about any of it.

"I've been letting it pile up," Wesley admitted, placing another completed report in the out-box . At least he'd managed to accomplish something, and Spike would be arriving any minute to take care of the liver-eating demon—otherwise known as the Fraickes. Were the truth to be told, that was why Wesley had been giving Spike jobs to do. While he had known the vampire was at loose ends, it was more to salve his conscience, so that he could tell himself that he really was doing something.

"Too overwhelming?" Fred asked sympathetically.

Wesley nodded slowly. "Something like that, yes. Plus, I've had to deal with several of Angel's messes, things he ought to be doing as the head of Wolfram & Hart."

"Do you ever wonder if we're in the right place, Wesley?" Fred asked. It was a rare moment of introspection for her. Normally, she was too busy to think about whether or not she was doing the right thing in being there. Sitting with Wesley, however, helping him go through his files—it all reminded her of the days when they'd simply been private investigators.

When he had been "just Wesley," her friend. There were all kinds of regrets that fluttered through her mind like moths from old clothes.

She had so many regrets when it came to Wesley. After what she'd told him—

Fred stopped. What had she told him? She couldn't remember the words she'd used now, only that she had hurt him terribly.

"Every day," he said, a sudden desire for honesty bubbling up. "Do you—would you ever think about leaving here?"

She hesitated. "I don't know. Do you think we should leave Angel?"

"Perhaps if we left, he would follow," Wesley suggested, looking around warily. "I don't know that this is the place to talk about it, though."

"You're right," Fred replied quickly. "Maybe once we let Spike know what's going on, we could go have a drink somewhere and—talk."

Wesley's eyes went wide as he tried to figure out what she meant by that. "I don't—"

"You got a demon for us to kill, mate?" Spike asked, striding into the office, unaware that he'd just broken the moment. Wesley stifled the irrational urge to snap at the vampire. After all, he was the one who had called Spike in.

Wesley sighed. "That's right. It's called a Fraickes demon, and it eats—"

"Livers, yeah," Spike finished. "I've seen 'em before. Nasty buggers."

"Yes, well, I was hoping you might be able to stop it before it kills any other people. I didn't want to bother Angel with it."

Spike snorted. "The Great Poof is getting above this sort of thing, yeah?" He hesitated and then asked, "Can I talk to you for a minute, mate?"

The vampire pulled Wesley off to one corner of the office, leaving Buffy and Fred to stare at one another. "I'm Buffy Summers," the Slayer said, introducing herself .

"Oh, I'm Fred," the other woman said. "Well, Winifred Burkle, actually, but everyone just calls me Fred." She stopped, knowing that she was beginning to babble. "So you're Buffy, huh? Spike's talked a lot about you."

Buffy made a face. "I hope he said something good about me."

"He really likes you," Fred confided. "I can tell."

Buffy sensed the opportunity to get some dirt. "So what has he been doing around here?"

In the corner, Spike was holding a whispered conversation with Wesley. "I s'pose I'm goin' to be stayin' with Buffy until I get somethin' more permanent. You still thinkin' the hotel?"

"You're not going back to Rome ?" Wesley asked, real surprise in his voice. He had expected Spike to be on the next plane out of L.A. once he knew Buffy's purposes. The ex-Watcher had to admit to feeling a sense of relief. He hated to think he'd be losing another friend, although it would be to distance this time.

Spike shook his head. "They don't need me in Rome ," he said. "Until we get this thing with Wolfram and Hart settled, and I know what they wanted with me, 'm not leavin'." He glanced over at Fred and Buffy, who were giggling. "You ought to ask her out, Wes."

"What?" Wesley said. "I don't think so."

Spike cocked one eyebrow. "Why not? 's obvious she fancies you."

"We're just friends," Wesley replied repressively. "Fred doesn't view me in that way."

Spike just smirked. "Whatever. All I'm sayin' is don't miss your chance."

"I think we may be going out for a drink after you leave," Wesley admitted. Then, lowering his voice further, he whispered, "I think Fred might be contemplating getting out of this place."

The vampire nodded in a satisfied manner. "Good. Be better for both of you." He glanced back over at the women who appeared to be getting along just fine. "Maybe tomorrow you could show me this hotel of yours. Meet you back here in the afternoon sometime?"

"That would be fine," Wesley acknowledged. "Be careful tonight, Spike."

Spike smiled. "With the Slayer watchin' my back, I'll be right as rain."

Meanwhile, Fred and Buffy were making plans for the next day. "Are you sure you don't mind?" Buffy asked.

"No, I think it'll be fun," Fred insisted. "I haven't had a chance to have any girl-time since—well, since Cordelia left. I like the guys, but it's nice to get away."

Buffy nodded. "I could see that. Although, with all the Slayers around, I could usually use some time away from all those girls. Teenage girls at that."

They both winced, thinking about it. "I'd like to do some shopping," Fred said.

"Good," Buffy said. "That's settled. It's probably a good thing that Spike isn't going with me. I wanted to pick up a few things for him, and I think it'll go more smoothly if he isn't around to object to anything."

Fred giggled. "Good luck. Does he ever wear anything else?"

"Sometimes," Buffy said with a sigh of longing. She remembered Spike wearing color, and she wanted to see him wearing it again. "So we'll meet here tomorrow, and take off."

"Sounds good," Fred agreed. "You can tell me all about Wesley before he came to L.A. "

Buffy laughed. "Sure, and you can tell me everything that Spike's been doing for the last few months."

"Ready to go, pet?" Spike asked.

Buffy shrugged. "Sure. I'm always ready to kill a bad guy."

"Right." Spike grinned. "We'll take the company car."

"You have a company car?"

"No, but Angel has a whole garage full."

Wesley and Fred watched them leave, bantering back and forth, and Wesley looked back at his in-box. He was still woefully behind, and he probably should be thinking about pulling an all-nighter, just to try and get through the worst of it.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Fred asked. "I'm kind of hungry."

"Again?" Wesley asked, thinking about the mountain of tacos she'd consumed earlier.

Fred shrugged. "Lunch was a long time ago."

Wesley considered it for a minute, looking at the stack of correspondence, and then longingly at the door. "Let's go then," he replied, grabbing his jacket. "I could use a drink."

Fred impulsively grabbed his arm—just what she'd do with any guy friend, she told herself. "Me too. And maybe more than one."

 

Chapter 6: Take Two 

"You were the hand I tried to take/You're the decision I could not make/You're the religion I should forsake/You were the story I tried to tell/You're the savior that tripped and fell/Beautiful dancing infidel/Who will guard the door/When I am sleeping...I'm not sleeping/You were the season that would not change/I often was the same..." ~Over the Rhine, "Who Will Guard the Door"


This was what had been missing, Buffy realized, right about the time that they found the Fraickes. Wesley's information had been right on the money, and the demon loomed before them with a wily grin. It was more intelligent than many of the other demons she'd seen, and it was scary-big.

"Did Wesley say anything about it being that size?" Buffy asked. Eight feet of demon was a little much, even for her.

Spike shook his head jerkily. "Might have been a good idea to have backup on this one."

"We can take it," Buffy said confidently. "No problem." His lifted eyebrow was a pointed question. "We've handled stuff this big before."

Now the second eyebrow joined the first. "When?"

Put that way, Buffy couldn't think of a time when they'd faced down something this big together. There had been Glory, but that was a case of size not mattering. The Turok-Han and the 'Bringers were all about numbers. "Do you have a better idea?" she challenged.

"No, your idea is fine," Spike replied. "Just thinkin' it might not be so easy after all."

Buffy sighed. The beast was moving towards them now at a pace that should have been impossible for something that size. "Low and high?"

"Only if you're goin' low." Spike was off in a flash, jumping to the top of a pile of boxes so he could launch himself at the demon from some height.

This really was what had been missing. They were in some nearly deserted part of L.A. , where the garbage and detritus usually ended up—including people. The last victim had been a homeless person, but there had been some concern that the Fraickes would start hunting in a more populated area. Spike had told her on the way over that Fraickes couldn't procreate without a certain number of livers eaten. More of the creatures was the last thing they needed.

It wasn't the scenery that Buffy had missed. Rome had its fair share of back alleys and dangerous parts of town, although they tended to look less modern. It was the fact that she was here with Spike.

She had missed him like a person misses a limb—you could go on without it, but life was never the same.

She darted forward once she saw Spike engage the demon, getting a good blow to the head in with his ax. Buffy decided that the monster would be easier to work with if it was more on their level, and so she used the sword she carried to cut along the backs of its legs, hoping that hamstringing it would actually do some good.

The Fraickes bellowed and toppled over, almost catching Spike unawares. The vampire didn't stay surprised for long, however. In the next moment, Spike had cut its head off with one sharp blow, sending it rolling off into the shadows, and covering him with its blood when it exploded.

Spike grimaced, wiping at his face with a coatsleeve that did nothing more than spread the goop around. "Forgot about that."

Buffy was just glad she had managed to be out of the line of fire. "You can get cleaned up back at the hotel," she said. "Do you need to stop somewhere and get some clean clothes?"

"Don't have anything else," Spike replied, pouting.

Buffy shrugged. "I think the hotel has a washing machine and dryer we can use. If we get your stuff in there tonight, you should have something to wear by tomorrow."

Spike sighed. "The coat took the worst of it. That's never going to be the same again."

At the last second, Buffy decided to keep her mouth shut, even though she wanted to tell him he could lose the coat. She seemed to remember that it was her fault he was wearing it again. "Maybe you could take it to the cleaners."

"Maybe," Spike said mournfully, stripping out of his duster. Sure enough, the coat had taken most of it, leaving his jeans and t-shirt spotted with the blue gunk, rather than soaked in it.

Buffy grabbed his free hand. "Come on, Spike. I think it's time to get out of here. We still need to talk."

Spike wasn't sure how he felt about this promised talk, not when he kept expecting Buffy to disappear.

~~~~~

Cordelia wasn't going to be stopped. "I'm not staying here one more second, Angel."

Angel watched helplessly as she looked around for her clothes. "Cordy—"

"I understand why you did it, but it was stupid," she said, still looking for something to wear. "This is Wolfram and Hart, Angel! They wouldn't have offered you this deal unless there was something in it for them."

Angel glowered. "I didn't have a choice. Connor—"

"Connor was crazy and now he's not. You told me." She turned to face him, hands on hips. "Seriously, Angel, what were you thinking? Wiping everyone's memories, sending Connor away—what is he going to think when he finds out he's stronger than your average kid? He's going to freak out, that's what, and there won't be anyone there to help him out." She huffed. "I can't believe you."

"Then tell me what else I could have done," Angel demanded. "You weren't there to help me out, and it was my job to save him. How else was that going to happen?"

Cordelia sighed, a sound that Angel remembered very well. "I don't know, Angel, but the last thing you should have done was to join Wolfram and Hart. They're evil, remember?"

"I'm in charge, and I'm not evil," Angel said stubbornly.

Cordy wasn't so sure about that. Angelus was a sneaky bastard, and it would be just like the law firm to try a slow sort of corruption. "Well, I'm not staying here another night."

Angel felt a moment of panic. If Cordelia wasn't going to stay, what the hell was he supposed to do with her? "Cordy—"

"I don't mind staying at the Hyperion," she continued relentlessly. "Or with Wesley or Fred. I'm sure they wouldn't mind putting me up." Cordelia frowned. "In fact, I really need to talk to Wesley."

Angel sighed, knowing when he was fighting a losing battle. When Cordelia was in this sort of mood, there was no dissuading her. She would do exactly what she wanted to do, and run right over him in the process. "I'll see if Wesley's available."

Cordelia watched him leave the room and then hugged herself. Her body gets hijacked and she slips into a mystical coma for a few months, and look what happens. Everything goes to hell in a hand basket.

She did understand why Angel had made the choice that he did, she just didn't think it was a good one. There was a good possibility that this whole "Angel as CEO" thing was just another scheme to drag out Angelus. No thank you. Cordy may have promised to stick with him till the end, but she sensed a need to obtain minimum safe distance.

If she could get Wesley and the others out of there, so much the better.

~~~~~

Wesley nearly didn't bother answering his phone when it rang. He knew that Spike would be too busy to call, and Gunn never phoned, which meant it could only be Angel. Wesley was having too good a time to want to speak to his boss.

The evening out with Fred had begun rather awkwardly. Neither one of them seemed to know how to talk with each other anymore. Wesley could barely recall a time when the words had been easy between them. Perhaps before the incident with Billy—certainly before she and Gunn had begun dating.

It had been a long time, though, and there had been little practice since then. There had, in fact, been a long period of estrangement when—

The thought slipped away from him yet again. There was something that was eating at him, some link between then and now that continued to evade him. Wesley could only remember that there had been a time when they hadn't spoken, when he had been alone. The emotional memory was there, even if the facts were elusive.

Still, once they had both had a drink and a little time—and Fred had managed to pack away a huge dinner—the words began to come. They talked about Spike and about what might have made him solid again. They spoke of Wolfram and Hart and their continual sense of being overwhelmed.

They talked about leaving, and what might come next.

Wesley found out, much to his relief, that Fred had not been asked to sign a contract either. When he had asked, she had laughed a little. "I wouldn't have signed anything that they gave me. It would have been too much like Faust, you know?"

Wesley had nodded and laughed, comparing the Senior Partners with Mephistopheles. "It was something of a bargain, though," he pointed out. "I'm still not certain why Angel took the position."

Fred shook her head. "I don't know, Wes. Everything the rest of us got out of the deal is pretty obvious, but I have no idea what Angel received." She hesitated. "You don't think it has something to do with his soul, do you?"

Wesley shook his head. "No, I don't. I almost would have said it had more to do with Cordelia, but that seems unlikely since she is still in her coma."

Their conversation might have continued but for the phone ringing. And, while Wesley was hesitant to answer, the thought of a real emergency where Angel needed him activated his sense of duty.

Angel's voice was terse, almost angry. He wasn't asking, he was ordering. Wesley needed to return to Wolfram and Hart at once. Cordelia was awake and asking to see him.

The vampire had hung up the phone before Wesley even had a chance to reply, and he found himself staring at his cell for a moment before putting it away. "What's wrong?" Fred asked, sounding concerned.

"Cordy's awake," Wesley replied, a grin starting to break out over his features. In spite of Angel's rather abrupt way of informing him, this was good news indeed. "Angel said she was asking for me."

Fred's face lit up in turn. "She's awake?" Something hit her. "Wasn't Angel happy?"

"I don't know," Wesley admitted. "His manner was rather abrupt. I'm not certain what was going through his mind."

"Maybe he was just excited," Fred suggested, although she wasn't sure she bought that explanation for a second. Angel had changed since taking charge of the law firm. He was harder to work for these days, less approachable. Fred couldn't help but remember his sweetness after he had rescued her from Pylea. The way he had tried to draw her out and make her a part of things.

She missed that these days.

"Perhaps," Wesley said, but her doubt was echoed in his voice. "Would you like to go with me?"

"Of course," Fred quickly agreed. "You couldn't stop me if you tried."

Wesley wouldn't have tried.

~~~~~

"Why don't you take a shower?" Buffy suggested as they entered her hotel room. "I'll throw your stuff in the washing machine."

"You don't have to do that, pet," Spike protested, although he had no idea how else he was going to get his clothing clean.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Come on, Spike. How else is it going to get clean?"

He sighed. "I'll pass it through the door."

Buffy was about to argue but changed her mind at the last second. "That's fine." She grabbed his stuff and hers once he dropped his jeans and t-shirt outside the door. Buffy had changed into her pajamas, deciding that she wanted to get comfortable for this talk they needed to have. The Slayer had a feeling that Spike was uncomfortable about something, although she had no idea what.

Honestly, Buffy wasn't sure what she had expected upon seeing Spike again. Well, she knew what she'd wanted, which definitely included getting horizontal—or possibly vertical. It didn't really matter to her. Point was , she wanted him.

Spike had seemed amenable to being wanted, but there was still a distance between the two of them. Buffy thought it might have everything to do with why he'd been back for months without letting her know. She just wasn't sure if it was something she could fix, or if she should wait for him to come around on his own.

It was hard to tell with Spike.

She was watching some '80's flick on one of the movie channels when he emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. For the first time, Buffy realized that the soul had made him body-shy. The vampire had certainly not been modest before the soul, and there hadn't been an opportunity to see each other sans clothing after the fact.

"That's a good look for you," she teased. "You should wash your clothes more often."

He scowled at her. " They goin' to take much longer?"

"At least an hour," Buffy replied easily. "You know how this works, Spike. I know you've done laundry in the past."

Spike shifted, obviously uncomfortable. "Look, Buffy, I don't—"

"Why don't you get under the covers, if that'll make you feel better. " Buffy shifted off the bed, giving him the opportunity to slip under the sheets. "Then we can talk."

There was only one bed in the room, a fact that didn't make Spike feel much better. He just wasn't sure he was ready for this. He and Buffy had never talked out what had happened between them, or why he had gotten the soul. The few times he had brought it up, she had hurried to dismiss it. They had danced around the issue, but the words had never been spoken.

After what he'd just gone through with Dana, Spike wasn't too sure what Buffy might be thinking of him, what she might see in him.

Even if she had flown halfway around the world just to be with him.

"What did you want to talk about?" he finally asked, looking anywhere but at her.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know, but you seem kind of jumpy. I thought you might have something to say."

He shook his head. "No, 'm fine."

"That's good to hear." Buffy waited for him to respond, and when she was met with yet more silence, she reached out to grasp his wrist. "How are your hands?"

"They're fine." Spike had no idea of what to say, for possibly the first time in his life—or unlife.

Buffy looked him straight in the eye. "Do you have a problem sharing a bed with me?"

When the bloody hell had the Slayer gotten this direct, Spike wondered. "No." Her blunt question startled the truth out of him.

"Okay, then why are you so uncomfortable?"

"I don't know what this is," he confessed quietly. "'s happened so bloody fast, I don't know what to think, luv. We—you an' I—at the end, we were good, yeah?"

"Yeah, we were good, Spike," Buffy replied.

His blue eyes were open and vulnerable. Buffy could see his soul as clearly as she had in the cavern under the Hellmouth. "We never did talk about what happened—between us."

Buffy swallowed hard. "No, I guess we didn't. There never seemed to be any time, and what time we did have—I didn't want to go there."

"You have to know how sorry I am 'bout that. It still—I just—" Spike couldn't find the words. How did you explain emotions that had propelled you around the globe to find the one thing you shouldn't want? How did you tell the woman you loved that you were afraid to touch her, because you were certain that all she would see was the face of her attacker? Her enemy?

"I never did say the words, did I?" Buffy asked softly. "I forgave you for that a long time ago, Spike." She took a deep breath. "Was that why you didn't let me know you were back?"

He looked away. "I didn't know where we would go, Buffy. Didn't even know that you wanted me like that. I knew you cared, but I wanted to be the long-haul guy, an' I didn't think that's how you thought about me."

"You want to know what I think about you, William? " The name was laden with emotion. Buffy rarely used his given name, and when she did, it was usually something he didn't want to hear. "You're a Champion. A hero. The guy who doesn't give up, even when it would be the smart thing to do. The one who rushes in to save the day, even when he probably ought to be running the other direction. Even if I had never seen you again, you would have always been right here." Buffy put her hand over her heart. "I don't see a monster, I see a man."

Spike stared at her, his mouth hanging open slightly. No one had ever given him that kind of speech before. He was usually the one to deal in words. "You—" He started over. "You don't mind stayin' with me? At least until I figure out what it is I got brought back for?"

Buffy shook her head. "I don't mind a bit. Rome was getting old anyway, and Andrew won't mind staying with Dawn for a while. She'll probably come visit over her next break."

He swallowed. "Then you want—" She was offering him everything he had ever wanted on a platter. Spike couldn't believe it.

"You." Buffy grinned at him. "Actually, I really want you. Can we talk less and do more now?"

Spike had no problem obliging her. Several times, in fact.

 

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