Sorrow's Own Joys by Enigmaticblue

1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 :: 11 :: 12 ::

Chapter 7: Angels and Demons

Spike woke slowly, in unfamiliar surroundings. Not the crypt, not his new house—the light was all wrong for both. And the bed—he could smell Buffy, right next to him. "Buffy?"

"Right here," she assured him. "I'm going to have to leave pretty quickly though. You going to be okay with Tara and Giles here?"

He nodded slowly, focusing on the Slayer with difficulty. "What—where am I, luv?"

"My bed," Buffy said quietly. "You've been pretty much out of it for the last 12 hours. We've been waking you up to drink your tea, but that's about it. You want some blood? I can get it for you before I have to leave."

Spike shook his head. "You—you don't have to do that," he protested. "I can—" He tried to push himself up.

Buffy pushed him back down on the bed gently. "You can stay put," she admonished him. "I'm going to get you some blood, and then you're going to drink more of that tea. I think it'll be better for everyone concerned if you're mostly out of it."

Spike shook his head, remembering flashes. "I tried to hurt you. Maybe you should put the chains back on, luv."

"Giles has the tranq gun if you get out of hand," she assured him. "And Tara's concoction seems to be working pretty well for right now. Just rest. I'll be right back."

Spike let himself collapse back onto the soft mattress, unsure of how to take this new Buffy. He didn't think she'd ever been this tender with him before. She had been getting steadily nicer, but this was a whole new level. Being in her bed, her sitting with him all night—Spike started. Suddenly Drusilla was standing before him, pulling her dress aside, showing him bare breasts and the stake wound he had made.

"You're not real," he muttered. "You're not real."

"Real enough, my Spike," she replied, throwing herself at him. Spike scrambled out of the bed, stumbling towards the door, and nearly running into Buffy.

She had a mug full of blood in one hand and a glass full of tea in the other. Only her Slayer reflexes kept her from dumping both all over Spike. "Hey! What's wrong?"

"'s Dru," he gasped, looking back, but Drusilla had disappeared. He started shaking his head. "No, no. Buffy, I can't do this. 'm not—"

Buffy scooted past him and set her offerings on the bedside table. "You're doing fine, Spike. Really, you're going to be okay. Another 24 hours or so, and it should be out of your system. I just need you to hang in there for me."

"I can't, Buffy. I can't do this—"

"Yes, you can, Spike," Buffy said, almost harshly. "I need you, and I am not losing you. Do you understand me?" When he finally nodded, Buffy handed him the blood. "Drink." She watched until he finished, and then handed him the glass of tea. Spike didn't fight her at all this time, swallowing convulsively without stopping until he'd drained it.

Buffy sat with him for a few minutes, knowing she needed to leave for work if she didn't want to be late. "Better?"

The vampire nodded. "'s still there, but—'s not as important."

"Good." Buffy turned as she heard a noise behind her, and Tara appeared in the doorway. "You ready?"

Tara nodded. "Mr. Giles is downstairs. He's got the tranq gun, so we should be okay."

"You hear that, Spike?" Buffy asked. "You've got a couple of vamp-sitters today, so you should feel special."

"Where's the Niblet?" he asked. "She's not here, is she? She's alright?"

"Dawn's fine," Buffy soothed. She cast an agonized look at the clock. "Spike, I have to go. Tara will stay with you, okay?" She kissed him quickly on the lips and waved to Tara as she dashed out the door.

The look on Spike's face was so lost as Buffy left that Tara really felt for him. "Hey, she'll be back, you know?"

The vampire looked over at her, and then down at his hands. "I don't want—I don't want to be by myself," he whispered, looking ashamed for his weakness.

"Okay," Tara replied, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He was so far from the "Big Bad" she'd first met that it was hard to believe he was the same person. "Do you want to go downstairs and watch a movie with me? That might take your mind off things."

When he nodded, Tara stood, waiting until he followed her out the bedroom door and down the stairs. "Is everything all right?" Giles asked, looking up from the heavy volumes he was perusing.

"It's fine," she assured him. "I just thought it might help Spike to have something to take his mind off of things. We're going to watch a movie."

Giles lifted an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. He watched as Tara got the vampire settled on the couch. The curtains were still closed, and the little indirect light that filtered through offered no threat to Spike. He curled up on the opposite end of the couch from Tara, and was watching rather avidly as images from The Matrix flitted across the screen. Giles found himself intrigued with the movie in spite of himself, moving his research out into the living room where he could see the TV better.

Spike fell asleep again about halfway through, and Giles glanced over to see Tara looking at him fondly. "You really do like him, don't you?" he asked, curious. As shy as Tara was, it was difficult to understand why she would be drawn to Spike, of all people.

Tara shrugged. "Yeah, I do." She studied the sleeping vampire's features in silence for a moment. "There's more there than you might think," she explained, finally.

"I suppose there is," Giles agreed. "Tell me, what do you see when you look at him?"

Tara hesitated, and then said, "I see a man with a demon."

Giles nodded slowly, understanding the distinction she had made. "For Buffy's sake, I hope you're right."

~~~~~

Spike was happily ensconced in the Slayer's bed, surrounded by her scent, when she came to check on him. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Better," he replied, sitting up. "Visions aren't as bad, but that stuff Tara's been givin' me is still cloudin' my brain."

Buffy smiled at him. "I think I have a way to unfog you." She crawled onto the bed next to him, placing a light kiss on his lips. "Better?"

"Hard to say," Spike replied. "Might want to try again."

With a smile, she obliged, lengthening and deepening the kiss this time, until his hands were wandering under her shirt. Buffy was doing some exploring of her own, her hands moving under the waistband of his jeans, teasing sensitive skin with her warmth.

In fact, things were just getting really good when he heard someone calling to him. "Spike? Spike? Spike!"

He sat up, startled. Tara sat next to him on the couch, looking at him with a funny expression on her face. "Are you okay?"

Spike was not okay. He had just been woken up from one of the best dreams he'd ever had, right in the middle of the best part. Plus, his jeans were extremely uncomfortable.

Of course, it wasn't like he was going to tell the witch anything like that. "'m fine."

At the shortness of his tone, Tara frowned. "Okay. It's just you were moaning a little, and—" She broke off abruptly, recognizing the look on his face for what it was. "Oh. Good dream, huh?"

He sighed, and then smiled a little, sheepishly. "Yeah. Wasn't a bad one."

"I'm sorry I interrupted you then," Tara said, a glint of mischief in her eyes. "Must have been really good for you to be making that much noise."

"I was making a lot of noise?" Spike asked, mortified. Then, realizing she was teasing him, he glared at her. "Not funny. Don't scare a bloke like that."

They both looked up as the phone rang and Giles picked it up in the kitchen. "Hello?" There was a pause. "No, I'm sorry she's not right now...I see...I could give you her number at work if it's an emergency." The Watcher read off the numbers and then hung up the phone. "Tara?"

He stopped when he saw that Spike was awake. "Oh, good. You're up. How are you feeling?"

As Giles actually sounded concerned about his well-being, Spike dispensed with the smart ass comment he was inclined to make. "Bit better."

The other man nodded. "Good. That was Angel. Apparently, something has come up and he wanted to talk to Buffy about it."

Tara looked concerned. "No one's hurt, are they?"

"No, I don't believe so," Giles replied. "He simply said he had some information, and that he wanted to talk to Buffy as soon as possible."

Spike frowned. "An' you gave Peaches her work number?" he asked. "Not sure that was a good idea. Dawn said they get pretty snotty with her when she calls, an' she's family."

Giles sighed. "Well, it's too late now. And Angel did say it was important."

~~~~~

"Hey, Summers! You've got a phone call."

Buffy sighed. She'd told Dawn not to call her at work unless the world was ending (literally), and she probably should have passed the message along to the rest of the gang. Marg, her boss, got a little angry when her employees got personal calls. "Make it quick," Marg warned her as she picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Buffy?"

She recognized Angel's voice right way, and she bit back an angry sigh. She so did not need this right now, considering that he had lied about Spike. Or, at least he'd made a judgment call about Spike that he had no business making. "Angel, we're not supposed to get personal calls at work," she whispered, looking around, trying to make sure no one was listening in. She would hate for it to get around that it was her boyfriend calling. Especially when he wasn't even her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I called your house and Giles gave me this number." Buffy bit back a curse. She was really going to have to talk with her Watcher. "I need to speak with you. It's about Spike."

"Fine, Angel, but can you hold on at least until I get home? I'm getting death glares." Buffy looked over at Marg, who looked pointedly at her watch. The Slayer hated to think of what would happen to her job the first time she came across a Slaying-related emergency.

There was a pause. "Can I come up?" he asked. "I don't think this is really something we should talk about over the phone." There was another pause. "And I'd like to talk to Spike."

Buffy didn't have the time to argue with him. If she didn't cut this call short, Marg would probably start cutting her hours, and she couldn't afford for that to happen. "I'm off at eight. You can call then. Or whatever. But if you decide to show up at my front door, I'll expect you to behave yourself, Angel. Okay? Okay. Gotta go, bye."

Buffy hung up on him without waiting for any kind of acknowledgement, quickly getting back to work. Even as she took people's orders and brought drinks, however, her mind was on what news Angel could possibly have about Spike. And what he would say when he realized that she and Spike weren't just friends, but actually dating.

Well, Buffy thought they were dating. The boyfriend comment had just slipped out during the fight with the clawed demons that had made Spike go crazy for a while. Seeing him like that, comforting him during the worst of the madness, had solidified her feelings for him. She was definitely falling in love with him.

Of course, now that she knew that, she had to figure out a way to tell him. Maybe they could go out on an actual date when he was feeling better. Something that wasn't killing demons. She refilled water glasses as she thought about what a perfect date might be for Spike. He'd given her exactly what she'd needed with the night out at the Bronze. She should do the same for him—figure out what his perfect date would be, and then pull it off.

Thinking about it, Buffy had a pretty good idea of what Spike's perfect night out would include, and it probably wouldn't be going "out" at all. The thought brought a flush to her cheeks, giving her a bit of a glow. "You look happy today, dear," one of her regulars told her. "New man?"

She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her features. "New relationship, old friend," she explained.

"Well, they make the best partners, you know," Mrs. Nowen told her. "I knew my husband for years before we got married, and we're still best friends."

"That's wonderful," Buffy said sincerely. The rest of her shift went better than she might have expected, as distracted as she was. All the orders were right, no one got upset with her, and the tips were better than they'd ever been.

Once she got off, she pocketed her money, heading home quickly. Buffy realized that Angel would probably drive to Sunnydale, since he'd mentioned it, and she hadn't vetoed the plan. It probably wasn't the best of ideas to let Angel near Spike, not when he was still struggling with the hallucinations. If it was about him, and it shed some light on their current situation, it was probably better to just get it over with, however.

Buffy came up the front walk at the same time as Willow and Dawn. "Hey," she greeted them. "How was the day out?"

"How is he?" Dawn asked, not even bothering with the pleasantries.

Buffy gave her a look. "It's nice to see you too."

"Come on, Buffy," Dawn said, sounding just a little pissy. "I haven't seen him for, like, days. And he's been sick!"

Buffy sighed. "He's been really sick, and trust me, you wouldn't have wanted to see it. But he's doing better now, and yes, you can see him. He's still here."

Dawn gave her sister a quick hug to make up for her lack of greeting and dashed into the house. Buffy and Willow shared a look. "Are you sure Dawnie doesn't still have a crush on Spike?"

The Slayer rolled her eyes. "No, I think there are definite 'favorite older brother' vibes there. Dawn knows I've staked my claim."

"So you have made progress," Willow said, grinning. "Share!"

"Nothing to share," Buffy replied. "I just came to the realization that I would be completely miserable without him." She shuddered. "Willow, if you could have just seen him—Spike was completely off his rocker. Crying, screaming, the whole works, and all I could do was hold him. Even during that whole time, I knew he loved me."

Willow gave her a sympathetic look. "Have you talked to Giles about it, yet?"

"Yeah, and he's pretty much okay with it. He gave me the 'I don't like it, but if Spike makes you happy, I won't kill him' speech. Now the only person I have to worry about is Xander." Buffy rolled her eyes. "But I swear, if I hear 'evil undead' or 'Angel' come out of his mouth, I will so kick his ass."

Willow nodded. "Xander can be a pain. Anya's completely on board though, so she can try and keep him curbed."

"I never thought I'd say this," Buffy admitted, "but I'm so glad Xander's with her. She's one of the few people I know who doesn't care a bit that Spike's a vampire."

"Well, she is a lot older than he is," Willow pointed out. "She's probably seen things—er, people, who are a lot scarier."

Buffy grinned. "Yeah, but don't tell Spike that." The smile faded. "Speaking of scary, I think Angel's on his way. Apparently, he has some information about Spike that he didn't want to give me over the phone. I may need help keeping the two of them away from each other. Spike's still a little unstable, and who knows what his reaction will be if Angel just shows up."

They both stopped, picturing it for a moment. "That could be interesting," Willow admitted. She followed Buffy inside, smiling at Tara and going over to give her a kiss. "Hey. Good day?"

Tara smiled. "Good day." She looked over at Buffy. "Spike's upstairs. Dawn just went up to check on him."

"How's he been?" Buffy asked.

"Good, mostly. I thought he was having an episode earlier, but it was just a dream." Tara smiled, more than a little amused. "I think I woke him up in a good part."

Buffy blinked as she realized what the other girl was probably referring to. "Oh." A knowing little smile appeared on her face. "Cool."

Tara and Willow exchanged looks, and Willow grinned. "Maybe you should go say hello," she suggested. "Show him what he was missing out on today."

Buffy wanted to, but she shook her head. "No, I can't. Ugh. Angel's probably going to be here any minute, and I should really talk to Giles."

"Talk to me about what?" Giles asked, emerging from the dining room. "Is this about Angel's call earlier today?"

Buffy nodded. "He said he was coming up. And Giles? Would you please not give out my work number? My boss gets really pissy when we take personal calls. Unless it's the end of the world, it would be better to wait until I get home."

Giles winced. "Forgive me, Buffy. I had no intention of getting you into trouble."

"I know. It's fine." She looked up the stairs. "Would you keep an eye out for Angel? I want to go check on Spike."

"Of course," Giles replied.

Buffy didn't even stick around to hear it. She hurried up the stairs towards her bedroom to find Dawn standing in the doorway, looking at Spike, who lay sleeping on the bed. "Is he really okay?" her sister whispered. "I mean, he's not even moving."

"'m fine, Bit," Spike replied, cracking one eye open to look at her. "Just waitin' to see how long it would take before you said somethin'."

Dawn made a face. "Spike!"

"Sorry," he said, not really sounding as though he meant it. Spike sat up slowly in bed, looking past Dawn to Buffy, who had a knowing smile on her face. "How was work, pet?"

"Good," she replied. "Other than the phone call from Angel, it went fine. Plus, good tips." She raised an eyebrow. "I hear you had a nice dream today."

Both of them ignored the bewildered look on Dawn's face. Spike looked both angry and embarrassed. "I was hopin' Glinda wouldn't tell you."

"What, like I was going to be upset about it?" Buffy asked. She grinned at him. "It just gives you something to look forward to after all this clears up. See how much better the reality is."

Spike gave her a hopeful look. "Yeah? You're not just pullin' my chain, are you, luv?"

"No chain pulling," she assured him. Buffy gave him a once-over. He was looking rather rumpled, and he was still in the same clothing he'd been in the previous night, ripped and bloody as it was. "Why don't you take a shower and get cleaned up?" she suggested.

"Don't have any clothes here, pet," Spike said regretfully. "I should probably get back to my place anyway."

Dawn smiled at him triumphantly. "Nope. Willow and I stopped by your house on the way here. She wanted to finish putting the wards up, and Tara called and said you might be needing some clean stuff." She held up a sack.

"And you're not going anywhere," Buffy finished. "You might be feeling better, but that just means the worst of it is over. I'm not letting you out of my sight until I know that poison is out of your system."

Spike looked from one Summers to the other, finally sighing in defeat. "Right then. I can see I'm not goin' to win this argument." He pushed himself off the bed, standing with some difficulty. He was still feeling a little weak, and he wasn't sure if it was a result of the allergic reaction or something else.

"Come on," Buffy ordered. "I'll get you a towel, and you can get cleaned up." She followed him into the bathroom, ostensibly to show him how to work the taps. "Spike," she said in a low voice. "I think Angel might be coming up from L.A. tonight. He said he wanted to talk to the both of us. You think you're up for that?"

"Do I have a choice?" Spike asked, almost bitterly.

She touched his hand, gently. "Actually, you do. If you don't want to see him, that's fine. I'll make sure he stays away from you." At the look on his face, Buffy said, very quietly, "There is nothing that he could say that can change the way I feel about you."

Spike stared at her, startled into meeting the Slayer's eyes. "Buffy—"

"I care about you, and nothing will change that, okay?" she said. "Plus, we're dating, and nobody gets to mess with my boyfriend."

His face softened, looking almost boyish. "You mean that, luv? Really?"

"Absolutely." Buffy reached up and pulled his head down for a quick kiss. "But you really need to shower now." She gave him a smile that was full of mischief. "Next time, we'll talk about me joining you."

~~~~~

Angel glanced from his watch to the closed door nervously. It was after nine, so Buffy should be home by now, but it wasn't as though she'd actually given him an invitation. Angel wasn't willing to wait, however, and so he'd had Wesley do the driving while he'd crouched under a blanket. Not the most comfortable way to travel, but he'd had worse trips.

Next to him, Wesley rolled his eyes, reaching past the vampire to knock on the door. "Honestly, Angel. If you were that worried about coming up, you could have just called again and made certain that it would be okay."

"This is important," Angel said. "I wanted to talk to her, see how she's doing. And—" He sighed, thinking of the other part of his mission. "I also want to talk to Spike. If it's true, then he might, you know, appreciate someone who understands."

Wesley raised a skeptical eyebrow, but didn't say anything. The door swung open to reveal Buffy. "Hey guys," the Slayer greeted them, with an amused smile. "I figured you'd be here." She glanced over at her former Watcher. "Angel make you drive him?"

He shrugged. "It was still daylight. And, if our suspicions are correct, it's probably wise that I'm here."

Buffy stepped aside to let both of them enter. "Okay, now I'm a little nervous. What's wrong, Angel? And why couldn't you just have told Giles over the phone?"

"I think I might have been wrong about Spike," Angel blurted out.

Buffy gave him her sternest look, which had melted far stronger men. "Duh. That's what you had to tell me?"

"It's more complex than that," Wesley said, putting a hand on Angel's arm and stepping closer to the Slayer. "If Angel was wrong, and this warlock did give Spike his soul, it's possible that he might still be linked to him somehow."

The Slayer's face hardened. "Crap. We've been having some weird things happen. A few days ago, we were attacked by Mirok demons, and then last night it was Effren—Effren—something."

Wesley recognized the name immediately. "Effrendiks? Was Spike harmed?"

"He got infected. He's doing better tonight, but let's just say last night wasn't a picnic."

Wesley nodded. "I see. You're lucky he didn't harm himself, or you. I've heard of stories about vampires' hallucinations while under the influence of Effrendik venom. They aren't pleasant."

"No kidding," Buffy said, sparing an almost warm smile for the man. Wesley seemed to have lightened up quite a bit in the intervening years. He looked almost—hip, at this point. "Spike's in the kitchen, if you want to talk to both of us at once." She paused. "And Angel? You will behave yourself. Spike's still not 100%."

~~~~~

The shower had helped clear his head a bit, Spike had to admit, and the clean clothes were a relief. But he really had no desire to fog his senses again. Even though images and smells that he knew weren't real kept popping up out of nowhere, he was doing his best to ignore them and concentrate on what Dawn was saying.

"So anyway, we went to the mall, and I saw Kirstie. You should have seen her hair. I don't know why she thought a perm would be a good idea, but it so wasn't." The teen hadn't really stopped for a breath yet. "And then I saw Laura, the sneak! She said they were going on vacation, and they were going to be out of town the entire summer, but I know she was lying to me. I mean, there she was, right there. I wanted to go over there and call her a lying be-yotch to her face." Dawn finally paused. "Spike? You okay?"

He'd been getting a far away look on his face that told Dawn he wasn't completely with her. At her question, Spike shook himself out of his daze. "Yeah, sure, Niblet. 'm alright."

"Spike," Tara looked over at him from her place by the fridge. She'd come into the kitchen to get something to drink for her and Willow, and knew that Spike wasn't really telling the truth. "You should drink some of that tea again. It's been over six hours now."

Spike shook his head stubbornly. "Want to be on top of things for when Peaches comes. That stuff makes me lose my focus."

Tara sighed. "And the hallucinations? I don't think those are going to make you any sharper." She looked over at her girlfriend, who had come in to see if she could help. "Would you tell him?"

Willow shrugged, and then looked at Spike sternly. "You really want to make Buffy sit on your chest again?"

Spike growled a "fine," and Tara smiled, handing him the glass she'd already filled. "Just think, Spike," Willow said in an encouraging voice. "Another day or two, and this will all be a memory."

"A really bad memory," Spike grumbled, though his face cleared a little bit when he remembered Buffy's solicitousness. He drank down the tea, making a face. "You know, that stuff's not so bad, but I'll be happy to never drink another glass again."

"Could I try it?" Dawn asked, curious.

"No!" Both Spike and Tara spoke at the same time. Tara finished the sentiment, "It's very strong, Dawn. In order for it to affect Spike, I had to make it extra potent. If you drank it, you'd probably be out for hours, if not days."

"Oh," Dawn looked a little disappointed. "So it wouldn't make me happy or anything?"

The adults in the room—including Spike—exchanged looks. By silent assent, Tara and Willow left the room, leaving Spike to deal with Dawn's question. "Dawn, luv, why do you ask?"

"It's just—you know, it might be kind of nice to be happy for a while. Really happy." Dawn looked uncomfortable.

Spike sighed. "Little Bit, somethin' like that's not gonna help you, an' this definitely won't. You remember what happened when Willow tried to short circuit the bein' sad thing with the 'my will be done' spell? I won't complain about it now, but it coulda ended up a lot worse."

"I know that, Spike. It's just—it hurts so bad sometimes," Dawn said.

Spike gave her a sympathetic smile, and reached across the counter to smooth her hair back from her face. "I know, luv. But you can't dull that kind of pain with anythin'. I know, because I've tried."

Neither one of them had a chance to say anything more, since just then Buffy walked into the kitchen, followed closely by Angel and Wesley. "You doing okay, Spike?"

"Yeah, just fine," he said, sounding more than a little grumpy. Spike wasn't at all happy to see his grandsire. He looked over at Angel. "So what's so important that you had to come to Sunnyhell, huh? Want to beat on me again?"

Angel curbed his annoyance with some trouble. "I needed to talk to you and Buffy," he replied. "It seems I might have been mistaken about you not having a soul. And Wes here seems to think that the warlock could be using it to keep track of you."

"What does that mean?" Spike asked, looking over at Buffy.

Wesley spoke up. "That means that if the warlock's goal was revenge, he could be keeping track of your whereabouts and emotional state through the curse. It puts you—all of you—in danger."

Submit a Review!