Summary: Sequel to Hoping's Very Fears. Spike and Buffy are trying to decide what their relationship is going to look like. Buffy and Dawn are missing Joyce terribly. And the warlock comes back to town, looking for another pound of flesh.
Author's Notes: This story is the sequel to "Hoping's Very Fears." If you haven't read that one, I'd strongly recommend you do so. Otherwise, it probably won't make any sense. Set in the summer right after BtVS S5. (My Season 5 that is.)
Rating: PG-13
Buffy slipped into Spike’s house shortly before sunset. Giles had called a meeting to discuss the Mirok demons they had killed the previous night. The Slayer had wanted to wait until Spike could make it to the Magic Box for the meeting, and while her Watcher had sounded surprised at her request, he hadn’t objected.
She wasn’t quite sure what to feel about the vampire these days. Buffy most certainly had had no intention of falling for him, but plans could change pretty quickly in Sunnydale, and she found herself revising that idea. She didn’t think she was in love with him. Yet. And that was the key word, because her heart was rapidly becoming engaged in this relationship in a way that was of the non-friend variety. As much as she might like to leave their relationship on the “friend” level, she didn’t think it would be possible.
Buffy was just too darn attracted to him for one thing. When you started listing the pros and cons of a relationship with Spike, on the cons side was he’s a vampire, and he could be really annoying. On the pros side, however, were the facts that he made her laugh, he was a good listener, he loved her sister, he could take care of himself in a fight, and he was a hottie. Given her dating history, the vampire thing should have outweighed everything else, but Buffy could just not make herself care as much as she should.
She sighed as she looked around his living room, not having been there since before he’d started decorating. Dawn had told her it looked pretty nice, and Buffy had to admit that it did. Other than the generally dilapidated look, it really wasn’t too bad. It had a certain haunted house-esque charm, especially since she knew it wasn’t haunted.
Buffy was heading past the stairs and back into the kitchen to snoop a little further when she heard sounds from upstairs. Knowing that Spike had chosen the one bedroom that had a northern exposure, she headed up, concerned. She passed the doors to the two other bedrooms and the bathroom, and entered Spike’s without knocking.
She never had found out where he’d managed to dig up the bed he was using. He was smack dab in the middle of it, bare chested, and tangled in the blankets and sheets, tossing his head and moaning something. Hesitating for a moment, Buffy went to his side, calling quietly, so as not to startle him, “Spike. Spike, come on, it’s me. Wake up.”
When he didn’t come out of his dream right away, she reached over and touched his shoulder, finally grasping him more firmly in order to shake him out of it. When he finally woke, he did so with a gasp and a shudder, sitting up abruptly. For Buffy, who had no idea that vampires even dreamed, let alone had nightmares, it was something of a surprise. “Hey. You okay?”
Spike stared at her for a moment, his blue eyes unseeing, until he could finally focus and nod shakily. “Bad dream?” she asked. “You get those often?”
He managed to shrug. “Once in a while. Not as bad as it was at first.”
Buffy didn’t bother to ask what he was referring to, since she already knew. She reached out and rubbed circles on his back, as she might do for her sister or one of her friends. Of course, she didn’t get those little tinglies with anyone else. “I’ll be alright,” he said finally, closing his eyes in pleasure as she kept her hand on his back, bare skin to bare skin, warmth to coolness.
“Giles called a meeting,” she explained quietly. “We’re supposed to meet him at the Magic Box. It should be safe for you to leave pretty soon.”
“Where’s the Niblet?” he asked, his eyes still closed. Buffy’s hand seemed to be moving of its own volition, tracing patterns on his skin, though Spike wasn’t about to complain.
Buffy smiled. “Tara and Willow took her to the mall this afternoon. I had to work and she wanted to shop for a swimming suit. I think she said something about night swimming?”
Spike gave a little grunt. “Told her to ask you first.”
“And I already said yes,” Buffy replied. “In fact, I think I might go with you, since you’ll probably need the Slayer along.”
He opened his eyes to meet hers. “She needs you, luv.”
“I know,” she replied quietly. “I just—somedays it’s so overwhelming to think about everything, I was kind of blocking it out. I’m glad you can be there for her.”
“Then you don’t mind?” he asked.
“I should,” Buffy replied, “but no. I trust you to take care of her.”
Spike blinked, and she could tell that her words touched him. “Thank you, Slayer.”
Her hand left his back to trace his cheekbone. “Get dressed, Spike,” she advised him. “We’ve still got to make that meeting.”
~~~~~
He dressed quickly, and they left together for the meeting. Half jokingly, Spike offered his arm to Buffy, hardly thinking she’d take it. She laughed at his slight bow, however, and tucked her hand through the crook of his elbow as if it was the most natural thing on earth. She might have kept her hand there even as they entered the shop, regardless of the eyebrows she was sure to raise. Spike had other ideas, and he stepped ahead to gallantly open the door for her. Buffy was smiling more brightly than she had in a long time when she entered.
Willow and Tara exchanged looks. It was about time Buffy started smiling again. The Slayer had been miserable the last few weeks, and if being with Spike was what it took, then they had no problem with that. “Hey, Buffy. Hey, Spike,” Willow said brightly, even as Tara gave a little wave.
“Wait till you see my new suit,” Dawn said brightly. “It’s so cool. And it’s a two piece!”
Buffy looked at her friends, a little alarmed, but Willow gave a reassuring smile. “It’s really not bad, Buffy.”
Tara added. “It does look good. And it’s not too—you know.”
“Good,” Buffy stated. She gave Dawn a stern look. “Because you’re way too young to be looking like a swim suit model.”
“As if,” Dawn replied stiffly. “Like I’d really want to look like a big ho.”
Buffy gave an inner sigh of relief. Dawn hadn’t pushed her too hard on dress yet, but the Slayer could remember certain conversations with her mother all too well. Trying to explain to her younger sister that she couldn’t wear certain things was not something she was looking forward to. “So where’s Giles?”
“Right here,” he said, coming down the stairs from the loft. “I’ve been trying to find references to the demons the two of you ran into on patrol last night. Spike, you did say they were Miroks?”
Spike nodded. “Pretty sure. I’ve run into a couple before, an’ that’s not a smell you forget.”
“I would imagine not,” the Watcher replied. He raised an eyebrow as Xander and Anya came up from the storeroom, hastily straightening clothing and smoothing hair. “So nice of you to join us.”
Xander flushed an even deeper red. “Sorry, we, uh, couldn’t find that thing you sent us down for.”
Anya fluffed her hair in her usual straightforward manner. “The bin for the bindweed is empty. We’ll have to order more. Besides, Xander’s been so busy working, he hasn’t had time to give me nearly as many orgasms as usual.”
There was the usual pained silence that followed one of Anya’s announcements, along with Spike’s barely disguised snickers of amusement. The vampire still got a great deal of enjoyment out of Anya’s rather inappropriate comments; he always had.
Giles cleared his throat. “Yes, well, make a note of it, Anya, and we’ll get that order in tomorrow. Now, as for the demons you saw last night. Miroks are not typically found in well poulated areas. In fact, they’re scavengers. It’s odd that they would be here in town. If you were closer to the dump—”
“We were miles from the dump, Giles,” Buffy interjected. “If that’s the case, they were way out of their normal feeding grounds.”
Spike snorted. “Well, if they normally eat dead things they had one out of two right.”
There were some rather disgusted looks from the others at the table, and Giles gave him a reproving look. “Spike. It’s odd that they would attack the two of you. Buffy said they were going for the throat.”
“No,” Spike said. “’s not entirely true. They went for Buffy’s throat. Mirok that came after me worried at my coat a bit, but that was it.”
“So they were specifically after Buffy?” Willow asked. “Does that mean someone’s after the Slayer again?”
Xander looked alarmed. “Another apocalypse? Didn’t we just have one of those? Normally we get a break.”
“We don’t know that it’s an apocalypse,” Giles said reproachfully. “Though the odd behavior of the Mirok demons does seem to indicate something strange. If they were going specifically after Buffy for some reason, it would seem that the Slayer is a target.”
“The Slayer, or me,” Spike said quietly. “Anybody who knows me, would know the best way to get to me.”
Dawn frowned. “But who would want to go after you, Spike?”
“Try anybody I’ve pissed off in the last couple years,” he mumbled.
Willow looked concerned. “Do you think that’s a possibility? I know you’ve made a lot of enemies, helping us.”
Buffy shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense, Spike. There’s no reason they would go after me, just to get to you.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Can’t you think of a reason, luv?”
The tone of his voice made it very obvious what that reason might be. It wasn’t news to anyone in the room except for Xander, who had willingly kept himself in the dark. “Okay, wait a minute,” he protested, holding up a hand. “What is he saying?”
The rest of the group ignored him, already knowing what Spike was trying to say. “Do you really think that’s the case?” Giles asked.
“Dunno,” Spike said quietly.
“There’s no way to know that.” To everyone’s surprise, it was Tara who spoke. She glanced away shyly as all eyes turned to her, and then looked over at Spike, sensing his distress. “Those demons could have been sent after Buffy.”
He gave her a grateful look, but shook his head slightly. “Best way to hurt me would be to go after the Slayer, or the Little Bit,” he said regretfully. “If that’s the case, maybe I should make myself scarce for a while. If ‘m not around—”
“No!” Dawn said, sounding betrayed. “Spike! You promised you’d stay!”
“Niblet—”
“You can’t go!”
“Dawn, I’m sure Spike only has your best interests in mind,” Giles said firmly, unsure of why exactly he was defending the vampire, but doing so anyway. He had some idea of what the offer to leave had cost him, and couldn’t help but feel a small spark of respect.
Dawn glared at Spike, unappeased. “You promised.”
“Dawnie, Spike isn’t going anywhere,” Buffy said firmly. “It doesn’t matter who the target is, because in the end it’s all the same. They’ll come after me, maybe they’ll come after Dawn, but what’s new?” She looked at Spike. “If you’re the target, and the best way to hurt you is to hurt us, they can do it with you here or with you gone. At least if you’re here, you can help defend us and yourself.”
Spike looked like he might argue, but fell silent. Xander was still trying to catch up. “Spike likes Buffy? As in, like-likes?”
Anya patted her boyfriend’s leg comfortingly. “I’ll tell you when we get home, honey.” To the group at large she explained, “He’s a little slow sometimes.”
Giles harrumphed. “I think we should all be on the look out,” he said. “Until we have a better idea of who is behind this and who the target is, I think it’s wise that we keep our wits about us and not go off half-cocked.” He looked specifically at Spike as he said this.
“Well, if that’s it, I still need to do a sweep, and I should get Dawn home,” Buffy said, standing. Her sister stood to follow her, and the Slayer looked over at Spike. “You coming?”
He hesitated. “I don’t know—” At her glare, he stood and followed her, looking rather more glum that was usual.
When the door shut behind them, Xander looked around the room. “Okay. Why do I feel like I’m missing something here?”
“Maybe because you are,” Willow suggested, though enough under her breath that no one but Tara heard her.
Giles looked at the young man. “Relax. I’m sure Buffy knows what she’s doing.” It was too bad that he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as the rest of them.
~~~~~
Spike and Buffy trailed slightly behind Dawn, who was obviously still miffed. He was looking much more glum than he had on the way to the meeting, and Buffy had to wonder why Spike had jumped to the conclusion that he was the target so quickly. He could be arrogant, sure, but she didn’t think he was paranoid. “You want to tell me what you’re thinking?” she asked softly, so that her sister wouldn’t overhear.
“Just seems strange, ‘s all,” he replied. “Last night that demon went for your throat, not mine. Wasn’t even tryin’ to bite me hardly. If you were the target, wouldn’t they have gone after you an’ anybody with you?”
It was a good question, though not one Buffy had an answer for. “Maybe. Who do you think it is?” When he didn’t answer right away, she asked a question that had been bothering her for a while. “Do you think that warlock would come back?”
“I dunno,” he replied. “I didn’t think he would, not at first, but ‘m not so sure now. I buggered him up but good, pet. ‘ve always wondered if he wouldn’t come back, if maybe he got bored, or—”
“Or decided his revenge wasn’t good enough?” she finished for him. “There’s no way to be sure, Spike. Not right now. And I can take care of myself.” Buffy smiled at him. “Actually, after that nightmare I walked in on today, it’s you I’m more concerned about.”
“I’ll be fine, Slayer,” he said, as they approached the house. “Look, why don’t you spend some time with the Niblet. I know she’d like that. ‘ll do the sweep for you.”
Buffy frowned. She wasn’t sure she wanted Spike off on his own, just in case he was the target, and whoever was behind this whole thing decided to go for his heart. On the other hand, Buffy couldn’t be with him all day, every day. “Be careful.”
“Will do,” he replied. He called after Dawn, who was waiting impatiently on the front steps for Buffy to unlock the door. Apparently, she’d forgotten her keys again. “G’night, Li’l Bit.”
Deliberately, she turned her back to him, and Spike winced. “I’ll talk to her,” Buffy said quietly. “And I’ll send her by tomorrow afternoon. It’s probably better if she’s staying with someone, and it might as well be you.” She gave him a kiss on his cheek, and Spike gave her a wistful smile before he strode away into the night.
Buffy unlocked the front door, and watched as Dawn quickly climbed the stairs. She sighed, wondering just when it was that talking to her younger sister had become so difficult. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Dawn, it was just that it took so much energy to deal with her. Buffy didn’t quite understand why Spike had such an easy time relating to her. Perhaps it was because half the time they both acted like they were the same age. Perhaps it was only that he seemed to have an infinite amount of fortitude when it concerned the Summers women.
She came to stand in the doorway of Dawn’s room and watched as her sister rearranged items on her dresser. “Whatcha doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Dawn replied, her tone snippy.
Buffy sighed. “Dawn, don’t be angry at Spike.”
“Why not?” the younger girl demanded. “He promised he was going to stay. He said he would do a book club with me. He was reading the Harry Potter books so we could talk about them. We were supposed to go night swimming.”
“I know,” Buffy said, struggling for the words to say. She watched as Dawn sat down on her bed, and she sat next to her, remembering another time when they’d been in this position. No, a thousand other times. Dawn’s angry, and Buffy comforts her. But who comforts the comforter? It wasn’t a question Buffy had ever attempted to answer before this. Now, the answer was simple. Spike.
“Sometimes,” she began, “we have to do things to protect the people we love, even though we know it will hurt them for a little while. I know that Spike would do anything to protect you.”
“But he promised,” Dawn whispered, poised between a saddened understanding and betrayed anger.
Buffy sighed and pulled Dawn to her, so that her sister’s head rested on her shoulder. Dawn, in response, scooted in and allowed Buffy to stroke her hair soothingly. “I really think that it would hurt Spike just as much to leave as it would hurt you to see him go.”
“What about you?” Dawn asked. “Would it hurt you if he left?”
“Why do you think I asked him to stay?”
“It’s not fair,” Dawn finally muttered.
Buffy stroked, the movement soothing her as much as Dawn. “What isn’t fair, sweetie?”
“Everything.Life.Death.”
“Mom?” Buffy asked softly, already knowing the answer. They hadn’t spoken of Joyce’s death since the night Dawn had attempted the resurrection spell, and the Slayer wondered now if that hadn’t been a mistake.
Dawn turned her face into Buffy’s shoulder. “I miss her.”
“Me too, Dawnie.” Buffy blew out a breath, fighting tears. She wanted to be strong for Dawn, not quite realizing that it would be a relief for her sister to see her cry. A relief to know that she wasn’t the only person feeling as if she was half-crazy with grief. “I’m sorry I’m the Slayer. I know that makes it harder for you.”
“I’m not,” Dawn replied suddenly, sitting up and looking Buffy in the eyes. She could see that her older sister was on the verge of tears herself, and suddenly the last few weeks just fell away. “If you weren’t the Slayer, I wouldn’t know Spike probably. And I’m proud of you. You do important stuff. I just wish—”
“What?”
“I wish you would talk to me more,” Dawn said wistfully. “It’s like we always talked to Mom, but now that she’s not here, we don’t talk to anybody.”
“We talk to Spike,” Buffy said, with a small smile at the incongruity of that statement. “But you’re right. We should talk more.”
“Do you have to work so much?” Dawn asked plaintively. “I mean, couldn’t you be here more?”
Buffy shook her head. She hadn’t wanted to share any of this with Dawn, wanting to protect her from some of the realities the world was throwing at them. “We need the money, Dawnie. Mom’s insurance didn’t leave a lot left over after the hospital bills. If we’re careful—and if I work—we’ll be fine, but I can’t afford to slack.” Seeing the disappointed look on her sister’s face, and remembering what Spike had said about Dawn wanting to spend time with her, she said, “But why don’t we plan on spending at least one night a week together when I’m not working. We’ll rent those movies Mom used to watch all the time and make popcorn.”
“Okay,” Dawn said, sounding almost enthusiastic. “But can we invite Spike sometimes, too? I think he feels better when he’s around other people.”
Buffy nodded. Dawn was proving to be quite perceptive when she wanted to be, and she certainly didn’t mind having the blonde vampire around. He made things seem bearable, and it was for that reason that she could understand Dawn wanting to spend time with him. “I think you’re right. Moping is definitely not Spike’s style, but he’s been getting way too close to it these days.”
Dawn leaned her head down on Buffy’s leg. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Dawnie.” Buffy was suddenly terribly grateful that there was another person who understood. Spike did his best, and his best was very good, but Dawn had lost her mother too. They understood each other, and there was joy in the understanding.
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