Summary: Set after the end of Cast Me Not Away and its follow up stories. This sequel is longer and darker than the intervening short stories. It deals with family, children, immortality, life and death, and making amends. We will also be jumping around in time a bit, so look sharp.
Author's Notes: I debated for a long time before writing this one, although the idea was there before I even finished CMNA. Some of you will believe that I have ruined the previous stories, which is fine. All I ask is that if you're unhappy with where this goes that you'll go back, re-read Cast Me Not Away through Silver Bells, and then you can flame me if you'd like. I'll calmly pull out the fire-extinguisher and ignore you, but that's alright. The themes have been there; I just hadn't quite managed to elaborate on them yet. (Oh, and before anyone screams Nika, Wesley, Spike and Buffy will survive. More than that I won't promise.)
Rating: PG-13
Chapter 26: April 2017
A/N: The poem Spike quotes is Shakespeare's Sonnet 109.
The image on the screen looked like nothing more than a shapeless blob to Spike. It was hard to believe that what he was seeing was his child.
His child.
Of course, Meg was his as well. It would be impossible to love her more than he already did. She was a miracle, as much as every child was a miracle.
It made something of a difference when it was your own flesh and blood, however.
"It looks like you're about eight weeks along," Dr. Cassidy commented. She smiled. "We won't be able to tell the sex of the child for a while yet, if you're curious."
Spike was still watching the screen, an awed expression on his face. Buffy answered for both of them. "How does everything look?"
"Perfectly healthy." Dr. Cassidy pushed the ultrasound machine back and handed Buffy a towel to remove the goop from her abdomen. "You said you had one other child, correct?"
Buffy nodded. "Meg is eleven. This is our first child together, though. We—this came as something of a surprise."
Dr. Cassidy glanced at Spike, obviously amused by his awe. "A happy surprise, I take it."
"Very happy," Spike agreed, his voice hoarse with an unnameable emotion.
"I'll let you get dressed, Buffy, and then we can talk about prenatal vitamins and other things. I'm sure it'll be mostly a review for you."
Buffy smiled. "It's been a while, doctor, so I could probably use it."
When the doctor had left, Buffy squeezed his hand. "You look like you're okay with this."
"Told you I was," Spike replied. "Buffy, this is—"
"Pretty amazing," she murmured. Their eyes met, and a wordless communication passed between them. "I should never have doubted you."
He didn't reply, instead meeting her lips with his own, sharing a kiss that seemed to go on forever. Pulling back, the words that tripped off his tongue were old ones, stolen from another, dredged from the recesses of his soul. "'O, never say that I was false of heart, though absence seemed my flame to qualify. As easy might I from my self depart as from my soul which in thy breast doth lie. That is my home of love; if I have ranged, like him that travels I return again... for nothing this wide universe I call save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.'"His words nearly took her breath away. "Talk like that will get you lucky, mister."
"Meg's at school," he breathed.
"Then let's get out of here," Buffy replied, hurrying to dress.
~~~~~
Hannah took the dress out of her closet to stare at it again. Going shopping had been an experience in and of itself . Once Dawn had heard about the potential expedition, she had insisted on going while she was in town. Hannah had tried to protest that Prom was over a month away, but to no avail. Buffy, Dawn, and Nika had all gone along, exclaiming over her various choices and offering their opinions.
When she'd tried this one on, all three of them had immediately agreed that it was the one. "You look wonderful, Hannah," Nika had said. "So very grown up."
It was dark blue, in a fabric that clung to her curves. Dawn and Buffy had known the name of it; fashion wasn't Hannah's thing. The relatively high neck and the low back made her feel sexy, though, like she was pretty, like she was a woman.
Dawn's assessment was that Sam's eyes would pop. Buffy had smiled nostalgically. "You're going to look absolutely fantastic, sweetie. Wesley will have to go just to beat the other boys off with a bat."
There was a knock on the door, and Hannah quickly put the dress back in the closet. She felt strange about being caught staring at it. "Come in."
"Hannah." Wesley stood in the doorway. "Do you have a moment?"
"Yeah, sure," she replied.
He stepped into her bedroom, and Hannah realized that he never really came in here. Wesley was always good about letting her have her privacy. Most of the time, she met him in his office, or in the training room.
When the silence stretched on, Hannah started to get nervous. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything is just fine," he replied, quick to reassure her. "Let's sit." Wesley waited until she'd settled on her bed before taking the chair. "You're going to be eighteen soon."
Hannah nodded slowly. "Yeah." Dread began to settle in her stomach. She knew that it wasn't a big deal. Even if the courts said she was on her own, there was no way Wesley and Nika would boot her. Plus, there was always Spike and Buffy, or Dawn and Connor. She had people who cared about her.
Just because the fear was irrational didn't mean it was going to go away, though.
Wesley took a deep breath. "Nika and I have been talking for quite a while now. You know that you always have a place here, right?" He waited for her silent nod before continuing. "Both of us understand that sometimes something symbolic can help a person to realize the truth."
"I don't think I understand," Hannah said cautiously.
Wesley chuckled. "Yes, well, that's probably because I'm not explaining this very well. Hannah, I once told you that I would always be your Watcher. I hope you are aware that you are as much my child as Davey or Will or Carwen, though." He waited until she met his eyes. "Nika and I would like to start the adoption process for you, making you legally our child. You are our ward until you turn eighteen. This would make you ours for—well, forever, I suppose."
Hannah stared at him. "What?"
"It's completely up to you," Wesley was quick to assure her, mistaking Hannah's surprise for something like reluctance. "You needn't feel like you have to agree. We both thought it might help you feel more—secure."
"Would I have to change my name?" she asked.
"Only if you want to." Wesley wasn't sure what she was thinking, but he could see the wheels turning.
"Can I change my name?"
"Of course."
Hannah looked down at her hands, unsurprised to find them shaking. "You really mean it."
"Yes." Wesley was nearly floored when Hannah nearly flung herself at him, burying her face in his shoulder. He thought of the moment when he realized that Nika really did want him, when he knew that she was carrying his child, when Spike had openly declared his friendship.
Although his Slayer might never know it, Wesley understood what it was to be lost. Sometimes it took a while to realize that you'd been found.
For Hannah, it meant never having to leave. It meant that being there wasn't about a grand destiny or her being the Slayer or Wesley winning the Watcher-lottery. It meant that they wanted her —Hannah. Just for her.
She suddenly understood what people meant when they said they were so happy their heart felt like it could burst.
"Sorry," she said, pulling back and drawing a shaky breath.
Wesley pulled out a handkerchief. "Don't be sorry. Believe it or not, I do understand."
Their eyes met, and for the first time, Hannah understood him as an adult, not just as her Watcher or her father-figure. "I believe it."
"Then it's settled," Wesley said, standing. "It's not a terribly difficult process from what I understand."
She nodded shakily. "That's good. I—how—"
"Perhaps a few weeks," Wesley replied. "There won't be any obstacles."
Hannah nodded, knowing that he was referring to the fact that neither of her parents were in the picture. "Okay."
"Come on. Nika should be home soon. We can tell her the good news." Wesley put a friendly arm around her shoulders, remembering that the first time he'd done this she had been uncomfortable with his affection. Now, she leaned into him comfortably.
If his failures had brought him to this moment, then Wesley didn't think he could have any regrets.
None at all.
~~~~~
It was simple, as simple as their wedding had been. Spike wore a suit, but no tie. Buffy wore a dress she'd found on the sale rack that looked pretty damn good, if she did say so herself. There were actually more people at the vow renewal than there had been at the wedding, but that was only to be expected. Their group of friends and family had expanded over the last ten years.
That was as it should be.
There was food, and plenty of alcohol, and Willow officiated, even though the state of California didn't have anything to do with this ceremony.
Spike still felt a little awed that Buffy had agreed with his request. In retrospect, it seemed a lot to ask of her. Or rather, it reflected a silly insecurity on his part. He knew Buffy loved him.
Standing there, in front of everyone, all of whom knew about the changes he'd made in the last year, he was grateful for the chance. Whatever anyone might think about about his reasoning.
Wesley stood next to him, a solid presence that Spike was grateful for. Nika came up the aisle first. Although Buffy had asked Dawn to stand up with her, Dawn had said she wasn't up to standing anywhere for very long. Nika was the obvious alternative.
Buffy was older, of course, but in Spike's eyes she was the same girl he'd fallen for so many years ago. Just as stubborn and infuriating and lovely and wonderful. And Spike—Spike still felt like he was the luckiest bloke in the world.
Maybe Buffy wasn't so wrong to insist that he wasn't that different.
Giles hadn't been able to make it, so she walked herself up the aisle this time around, but he didn't think Buffy minded too much. She'd made the wry comment that if the wedding had been for her, this was more for him.
To show the world that she loved him then, now, and always.
The words they spoke were their own this time, rather than the traditional vows they had spoken at their wedding.
Willow 's voice was steady and strong, the streaks of white running through her red hair lending her a gravity that seemed at odds with her still-youthful face. "Spike and Buffy have asked you all here as witnesses to their vow renewal. They have embarked on a new stage in their journey together, and even though their commitment to one another has been sorely tested over this last year, they stand together."
"Spike, I love you. No one has ever held my heart as you have." Buffy smiled at him. "I am in awe of your strength, and I am so proud of you for taking this journey, in spite of the dangers. I wouldn't want anyone else at my side."
Spike took a deep breath to steady himself . "Buffy, I love you. I wanted to change for myself, so that I could stay with you in all things. I couldn't stand the thought that you would go somewhere I couldn't follow. What we have now is something I never dared imagine. Thank you for taking this journey with me."
From beside him, Wesley began to recite, "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."
As they kissed, and the short ceremony closed, Spike knew that they had a love as strong as death. It was more than he'd ever thought to have.
~~~~~
It wasn't really a honeymoon. Meg was staying with Wesley and Nika for the weekend, and so they were definitely getting some time to themselves, but it didn't feel the same.
Truthfully, Spike thought it felt better.
They'd spent the night making love. Spike figured that it was probably a good thing that he wasn't quite human. Buffy might be getting older, but she was still the Slayer, and he needed every ounce of his stamina to keep up with her.
"What do you want to do today?" she asked idly.
"Dunno. You got any requests?"
"Maybe we could go to the beach," she suggested. "We haven't really been able to do that since you got back, you know. I have this fantasy with suntan lotion, you, and a sandy beach."
Spike grinned lazily. "Yeah, that sounds alright. More than alright."
The silence stretched between them, a comforting weight, so different than things had been recently. "Did you ever think we'd be here?"
"Never in my wildest dreams," he admitted. "Wouldn't have known to wish for this."
"Me neither."
Spike slipped his hand in her hair, pulling her in for a kiss. "This is better."
"No kidding."
It was quite a while before they managed to make it to the beach.
Chapter 27: December 2014
Buffy spotted Wesley immediately in the waiting room for the maternity ward. He was sitting slumped, his head in his hands, and seeing his posture made her fear the worst. "Wes?"
He sat up immediately, staring at her. "Buffy, you didn't have to come."
"Nonsense," she retorted. "Of course I had to come. I wasn't going to let you sit here all by yourself. How's Nika?"
Wesley shook his head, worry stamped on his features. "I don't know. They wouldn't allow both Enid and me back there, and we thought it best—" He stopped, running a hand over his face, obviously trying to keep himself under control.
Buffy rubbed his back soothingly. "Nika's going to be fine," she assured him. "The baby too. It's early, but it's not that early."
"I can't lose them," he replied.
"You won't." Buffy heard the desperation in his voice and knew exactly how he felt.
He took a deep breath. "Where's Spike?"
"He stopped by your house and found Hannah by herself. That's where he was when I called. Spike will stay with her and the boys tonight, and Dawn's got Meg." She stood. "Do you want coffee? Or tea?"
"Coffee, please," Wesley replied. As she walked away, he called out after her, "Thank you."
She smiled at him over her shoulder. "Don't mention it."
Wesley leaned back in the hard plastic chair and stared up at the ceiling. Nika had started experiencing contractions, and they had grown in force quickly. The due date was two months off, and the doctor had started shooing him out of the delivery when the monitors showed that the baby was in distress.
They had started talking C-section, and lack of oxygen, and emergency procedures. All Wesley could think about was three miscarriages and that this was his wife and child they were talking about so clinically.
He felt as though his heart was in his throat.
"Wes?" Angel was standing in front of him, looking concerned. "Are you okay?"
"How—"
"Connor was with me when Dawn called," Angel replied, shrugging. Wesley always forgot how quickly news often spread. They were all connected in so many ways, on so many levels, it was impossible to keep a secret. "How is Nika?"
He shook his head. "They wouldn't tell me. Enid 's with her, but—" The doctors had chased him out, but he'd needed to go. There was nothing he could do this time. No amount of coaching could have prepared them for this nightmare.
"Is someone with the kids?" Angel asked.
Wesley nodded. "Spike apparently dropped by after we'd left. He's going to stay."
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
It was not a question he would have had to ask once upon a time. Although there had been a lot of repair work done on their friendship, they would never have the closeness that had once characterized their relationship. Angel had come to grips with that, even if he couldn't quite forgive himself.
These days, he wasn't always sure where the line between them fell.
"If you'd like," Wesley replied. "Buffy's here, so you wouldn't have to."
There was a touch of wistfulness in his voice, as though asking Angel to stay was a request above and beyond the call of duty. "I'll stay," Angel said.
"Thank you." The sincerity in Wesley's voice didn't go unnoticed.
Angel leaned back in the chair, trying to find a comfortable position. "It's going to be fine, Wes," he said. "Nika—she's tough."
"I know." Wesley just wasn't sure that would make a difference right now.
~~~~~
"Maybe you ought to get to bed, pet," Spike suggested. "I'll stay up."
Hannah shook her head stubbornly. "I wouldn't be able to sleep."
"Right." Spike was at a loss. He had no idea what to do with the girl, so he reached for the remote and flipped on the TV. She watched him channel surf in silence, unsure of what kind of conversation you made with a vampire.
There really wasn't anything on, and so the vampire soon turned to look at the girl. She reminded him of someone, but he couldn't put his finger on who . "So you like it here?"
Hannah looked over at him in surprise. No one had asked her that yet, possibly because they didn't really want the answer. After all, if she didn't like it—if being the Slayer and living with her Watcher sucked, there wasn't anything anyone could do about it.
Good thing that wasn't the case.
"Yeah."
"I meant what I said, you know." Spike kept his gaze on the television, the late night talk show host and his guest laughing at something. "About it being different."
"I know."
"Your mum—she didn't hurt you or anything, did she?"
No one had asked about that either, and probably for the same reasons. Or maybe not. Maybe, Hannah thought, they just wanted to respect her right to privacy. There were so many people around all the time that privacy was a very important thing.
"No." Then, for reasons Hannah couldn't quite fathom, she turned and looked at him. "Not really. Sometimes she went a little crazy, and then I just tried to stay out of her way."
"Bit of a nutter, was she?"
She couldn't really take offense at the term, since it was pretty accurate. "They said she had bipolar disorder, or something like that. She'd be depressed, and then she'd be—I don't know, hyper or something. Crazy."
"Dru—that's the vampire that made me—was a loon," Spike said conversationally. "She'd go off on me, completely barmy, and then the next day would be callin' me her brave knight, and I'd have to take care of her."
Hannah felt a strange kind of tension leave her. Everyone was so nice, so normal, that she often wondered how she was supposed to fit in. It wasn't like any of them would understand about her mom—but apparently Spike did, to a certain extent.
"That was mom," she admitted. "When she was depressed, she wouldn't even get out of bed." Hannah looked over at the vampire to see how he was taking her words. "It's weird, because everybody seems to think that being the Slayer is hard. It's not."
Spike tilted his head. "Why is that?"
"Because that's all I have to do," she replied. "I mean, besides school. I help out and stuff, but—" she stopped, unsure of how to explain. "Before, if I didn't do laundry, I didn't have clean clothes, and if I didn't go to the grocery store, we didn't have anything to eat. Nika—Nika said they were going to give me an allowance, and I don't have to use it to buy food or pay rent."
"You worried that's going to go away?" Spike asked. "Doesn't work that way, pet. Bein' the Slayer's a lifetime commitment."
Hannah shook her head. "But they didn't—they don't have to do all this stuff. I don't get it."
There—it was all out in the open now, and the young Slayer watched him with wary eyes. Spike wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. What the girl was seeing was a family that had been built over years. It was impossible to explain that sort of thing in minutes or even hours, especially since she hadn't an inkling something like this could even exist.
"If it makes you feel any better," Spike began, "Nika did about the same thing for me. It's what she's always done—taking people in and makin' them feel at home." He saw the doubt on her face. "That'll take time to figure out, luv. It took me a bit to get used to it, too, an' it took Wesley two years to get comfortable. He told you about me, right?"
Hannah blinked at the abrupt change in subjects. "Wesley? Yeah, you're a vampire."
"He tell you I've killed two Slayers?"
"Sure, but you're different now."
It was said with perfect assurance, and Spike wondered what exactly Wesley had told her that would put that sort of trust in an otherwise wary child. "I am. I've also made it my business over the last few years to keep Slayers alive." Spike let his meaning sink in for a moment. "When I make a promise, I keep it, Hannah. You ask anybody, an' they'll tell you that. You ever need a good kill, or a place to go, or someone to watch your back, you let me know."
He understood. Spike understood living with a crazy person, and having to scrounge, and not fitting in. Maybe the others did too, or they had at one point in the distant past. Spike was still set apart by virtue of his being a vampire, just as Hannah was set apart because she was the Slayer.
Buffy would have known what Hannah found in that moment with Spike. It was the same reason she'd gone to him again and again after her resurrection. The strange fact was that the Slayer of Slayers understood what it meant to be the Slayer better than anyone.
For the first time since discovering what she was, Hannah felt completely at ease. Actually, it might have been the first time in her life.
"Okay." The word was spoken with quiet conviction, perfect understanding of what had just been offered, and simple acceptance.
When Hannah fell asleep just a little while later, her face relaxing, looking like the child she was, Spike watched her. Somewhere along the way, he'd managed to get himself a gig saving people, including Slayers. It was crazy, but it felt right.
Not for the first time did Spike wonder at the turn his life had taken. A soulless vampire shouldn't be enjoying a quiet moment watching a baby Slayer sleep, while waiting for a child to be born. It wasn't natural.
But it was real, and oddly enough, it was exactly what he wanted.
~~~~~
It was early morning when Enid finally came out into the waiting room. Her face was tired and drawn, and she looked every single one of her eighty-odd years. Wesley was on his feet immediately, offering her a seat, which she sank into thankfully. "Nika and the baby are fine," she said as she sat. "There was some concern, but it's past."
"Can I see them?" Wesley asked.
Enid nodded. "Nika is sleeping, but she would appreciate your presence, I'm sure. They wanted to keep the little one in NICU for a time to make sure there aren't complications."
Wesley didn't even spare a look for Angel or Buffy; he immediately headed for Nika's room. "I think that's our cue to leave," Buffy said wryly. "Would you like a ride home, Enid ?"
The older woman hesitated before nodding. "I'm afraid I'm not as capable of staying up all night as I once was."
"Spike is with Hannah and the boys," Buffy replied. "We can get them to school today if you want to sleep."
"That sounds wonderful." Enid smiled wearily. "I think I shall sleep soundly knowing that everyone is in good hands."
Angel had remained silent through the exchange, knowing that he wasn't a part of their daily routine. "I should go. You'll tell Wes to call if he needs anything?"
Buffy smiled at him. "Yeah, I'll tell him, Angel. I know he appreciated you being here."
"It was the least I could do," Angel replied before leaving, disappearing back into the shadows the way he always did.
Buffy looked over at Enid . "Will you be okay?"
"Now? Yes." Enid sighed. "It was too close, though. My poor old heart isn't up to such shocks these days."
"I have a hard time believing that," Buffy replied quickly. "You're not that old."
Enid just shook her head. "Old enough. I'm old enough."
~~~~~
Nika awoke when she felt Wesley's hand on her brow, stroking back her hair. "Have you seen her yet?"
"For a moment," he replied. "The doctors are still hovering, but they aren't looking quite as worried. She's beautiful, love."
She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad." A pained look crossed her face. "How long before I can see her?"
"It will be a while yet," Wesley replied. "A C-section is not an easy surgery."
"But Carwen's alright? There aren't more problems?"
"She's going to be fine," Wesley promised.
They had found out the sex only a few weeks before, and had picked a name. The baby wasn't due until January, and her early arrival had placed her in danger. Even now that it appeared that she would survive, the doctor had warned Wesley that it could be several weeks before Carwen was ready to come home.
It wasn't going to make for a very cheery holiday.
Wesley soothed his tired wife as best he could, knowing that she was aching to hold her daughter as much as he was. Nika would recover, though, and Carwen was demonstrating quite a bit of tenacity. If she was anything like her mother, she would do just fine.
Relief and worry filled his mind in equal measure, and so it was a long time before Wesley drifted off to sleep in the chair next to Nika's bed.
~~~~~
Spike was awake when Buffy arrived, sitting in a chair in the living room, watching over a sleeping Hannah. Enid went up to her small apartment over the garage immediately, and although Buffy could have tried talking to Spike, she decided to wait. He didn't seem interested in speaking with her anyway.
Instead, she called Dawn and gave her the news, then asked her to see Meg off to school. "And would you mind picking her up today?"
"Of course not," Dawn replied. "I'm guessing you and Spike didn't get much sleep."
Buffy laughed shortly. "Try none at all. We're going to take care of things here, though, so it'll be a few hours before we can get to bed."
"Connor and I will take care of her," Dawn promised. "Besides, since we're moving in a few months, I'd like to spend as much quality time with my niece as I can."
"Thanks, Dawnie," Buffy said gratefully. She didn't bother telling her sister that she had plans to do other things besides sleep, for which they really needed an empty house. Buffy had decided to take her daughter's advice and "kiss and make up."
The morning ritual with the Wyndam-Pryces was three times as chaotic, partly because there were three children to get ready rather than one. Partly because the boys were in an uproar over not being able to go to the hospital to see their parents and their sister.
Spike was the one to rein them in when they kept protesting that they'd never be able to concentrate, and couldn't they stay home, and they wanted to make sure their mum was alright. "That's bloody well enough!" he said, loudly enough to shut them up. "Are you calling your Aunt Buffy a liar?"
Will and Davey looked at each other. "No," they said in unison.
"Well, then, if she says your mum and Carwen are fine, then they are. Wesley said you're goin' to school today, so you'll go to school, and that's final."
They subsided after that with commendable meekness, and Hannah helped Buffy herd them into the car. The younger Slayer got dropped off first, and then the boys at school, before Buffy swung back by the house to pick Spike up.
The tint on the windows was dark enough to keep Spike safe, as long as he stayed under a blanket, and the attached garage ensured that he didn't get flambéed as he entered the house. Buffy wasn't all that surprised when he stayed quiet during the drive, or when he walked into the house without a word, heading straight to the kitchen.
She followed him, sitting down at the dining room table and watching as he prepared his blood. "You should catch some sleep," he said finally, after the microwave beeped at him.
"I'm not interested in sleep right now," Buffy replied.
Spike's features hardened. "Buffy—"
"No, I want you to let me speak." When he remained silent, she said, "I know you watched me die, Spike, so I'm pretty sure you have some idea of what went through my mind in Cleveland . The difference is that things were okay between us before we went up against Glory. As okay as it got back then, anyway. That's not the way it was a few months ago. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself, because at that moment I didn't know whether you knew how much I loved you."
"Of course I do," Spike scoffed. "Don't be silly."
"Is it silly?" she challenged him. "Spike, I know I'm not always very good about expressing my feelings. I get impatient, and a lot of times I end up taking it out on you."
"Well, you do that when you're scared too, pet," Spike replied. "Buffy, I know all this. I just need you to ease up a bit."
"I'll try," she promised. "It's just—I never thought anything could happen to you."
Spike met her eyes. "You don't think I know that? I live with that every day, Slayer. One of these days, you're going—" He stopped, swallowing, unwilling to say it.
One day she would go where he could not follow. Heaven wasn't a place for demons.
"So life is short," she said, deliberately trying to lighten the tone. "Neither of us knows when something bad could happen. I say we enjoy what we've got right now. Meg said she thought we ought to kiss and make up. Maybe we could start there."
It had been a good while since their last tumble, Spike realized, and he had missed it. "I don't know, luv," Spike said, deliberately baiting her. "I haven't slept for a while, and I might not be up for it, still bein' so weak an' all."
Buffy lifted an eyebrow, appreciating his sally. "Oh, I've got something that will definitely get you going, mister. Besides, you keep telling me you're all better. Maybe you should prove it to me."
"Oh, I'll prove it to you, luv," he growled. "What about Meg and the others, though? I don't want us getting interrupted."
"Dawn's picking Meg up from school, and Enid 's got the other kids this afternoon," Buffy replied, sliding her hand under his shirt. "They won't be expecting us anywhere for hours."
"And you're sure you don't want to sleep?" Spike teased.
Buffy shook her head. "Plenty of time to sleep tonight. Right now we have time and an empty house. And I want you now ."
Kissing and making up was definitely the way to go.
Hannah didn't think a day—or a week—could get much better. There was the part about seniors not having to take finals, which meant that while last week had been a flurry of papers and projects, the next couple of weeks were all downhill. She wouldn't be graduating valedictorian, but she was close.
Actually, Hannah was fairly relieved about that part. She had no desire to give a speech at the graduation ceremony.
The next couple weeks were all about saying goodbye, hanging out with friends, signing yearbooks, and that sort of thing. As the final year drew to a close, Hannah was finding that she had more admirers than she'd previously imagined. People who hadn't been willing to brave the wrath of the football team to befriend her were going out of their way to write encouraging messages in her yearbook.
She and Sam had laughed about that, both of them amused by the fickle crowds.
And Sam was going to UCLA. Even though he assured her it wasn't completely due to the fact that she was going to be there, Hannah knew that was a big part of it. He was actually involved with her training now—Wesley was teaching him simple self defense maneuvers, and it turned out he had a magical gift of his own. Not a big one, nothing like Willow , but enough to be a help.
The papers finalizing her adoption had come through a few days before, and they'd all gone out to dinner to celebrate. It had been a perfect evening with a family she'd never thought she would have. Hannah now officially had two parents and three younger siblings.
How freaking cool was that?
This evening just seemed to put things over the top, seemed so perfect as to overshadow anything that might come in the future. Hannah knew that if she never had another good day, this last week could carry her through the rest of her life.
The knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie, and Hannah turned. "Come in."
Nika stepped through the door and smile. "Oh, cariad , you look beautiful." She came to stand behind the girl, so that they were both reflected in the mirror. The dress revealed Hannah's curves, as well as her toned arms and shoulders, in a way her regular clothing rarely did. Her pale, creamy skin was in sharp contrast to the dark blue material that shimmered under the lights, and her fiery hair had been tamed into a mature chignon.
Hannah smiled into the mirror. "It's like a dream."
"Every woman needs a night like this," Nika replied softly. "I had such a night when Wesley asked me to marry him. It was perfect, and that's what this shall be for you. Although I do hope you aren't thinking of marriage quite yet!"
She giggled. "No, but Sam's already talking about how great dating in college will be." Hannah sobered slightly. "Nika, I think I love him."
"He is a wonderful young man, Hannah. I'm not surprised." Nika turned her. "You are coming back here afterwards?"
Hannah smiled ruefully. "While our classmates might be getting hotel rooms tonight, neither one of us wants to tell the world that we're sleeping together. It's just so cliché."
Nika raised her eyebrows. "That and Wesley or Spike would beat him to death."
"There's that, too."
"Hannah! Sam's here!" Will said, sticking his head through the door. He stopped cold when he caught sight of Hannah. "Wow," he said reverently.
"How do I look?" she teased.
"You look really good." His tone was wistful, as only a young boy can sound when pining after an older girl.
"Tell Sam I'll be right there," Hannah said, smiling at him. Will stayed stock still, staring at her for a moment longer, before dashing off. "I think that's my cue."
Nika kissed her on both cheeks. "Have fun tonight. We'll see you at breakfast in the morning."
Hannah went to meet Sam, who was waiting for her with a corsage and a nervous expression on his face. "Hey."
"Hannah, you look—" He stopped, at a loss for words.
It was like the two of them were the entire world for a moment. She let him put the elastic of the corsage over her wrist, and then—with a charm and grace she hadn't known he possessed—Sam placed a kiss on the back of her hand. "I think I'm going to be the luckiest guy there tonight," he said.
Hannah blushed and murmured a thank you, and then the world rushed in again. There were pictures that Nika insisted on taking, and then a flurry of goodbyes. Then, of course, they had to do it all over again, since Sam's mom had insisted they come by so that she could take pictures as well.
As much as Hannah loved them all—and really liked Sam's family, who were all about as normal as anyone could get—she wanted him to herself. This was their evening, and it was slipping away like sand in an hourglass.
Renna and Cal snapped their own pictures when they stopped by, and Sam's younger brother stared at her in much the same way that Davey and Will had. Then it was done, and Sam rushed her out the door and into the car, heaving a sigh of relief to match her own. "I thought we were never going to get out of there." He grinned at her, the same one that had softened her up considerably. "Sorry about that."
"Don't be," she replied. Now that it was over, Hannah could afford to be magnanimous. "They're good people."
"They really like you," he replied.
Hannah smiled. "Wesley and Nika really like you too."
"You hungry?"
"Starving," was her reply.
The restaurant they ate at was nice, although not fancy. She saw a number of other couples from their school, all going out before the dance. She was grateful to have a table to themselves, away from everyone else, where they could talk about her slaying, and his self defense lessons, and her upcoming tests this summer in England .
It was different, having a friend her own age who knew about the other world she inhabited. It was better.
When they got to the dance, that feeling of being the only two in the world had returned. Both of them returned greetings absently, focusing only on one another. As they danced, Hannah thought that she would never love anyone else the way she loved Sam.
Maybe that was just the way first loves worked.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, his voice low.
Hannah tilted her head up. He'd shot up another three inches over the last few months, and now her head only came up to his shoulder. "I'm thinking that I love you."
They'd never spoken the words to each other before. "I love you too."
"Do you think we can always be friends?" she asked. "Even if..."
"Hannah," Sam said quietly, "you introduced me to a world I never believed existed. Even if something happens—which it won't—you'll always be the girl who came riding to my rescue."
She smiled at him. "Most guys don't like that."
"Yeah, well, most guys aren't liberated like I am," Sam retorted. "Trust me, after you get shoved into a locker a few dozen times, Joan of Arc looks pretty damn good."
"Is that how you think of me?" Hannah asked. "She got burned at the stake, you know."
Sam pressed a kiss to her lips. "Joan was a hero," he replied, "but she didn't have anyone to watch her back the way you do."
"Very true," Hannah sighed, and laid her head on Sam's shoulder as they continued to dance.
It was after one before they got back to her house, whispering and laughing, drunk on each other's company. They had no plans for going to sleep, but instead fully intended to put a movie on and then spend the next few hours making out.
They were surprised when they found Will waiting up for them.
"What are you doing up?" Hannah asked in a whisper.
He looked embarrassed and defiant at the same time. "I wanted to see you guys when you got in," he replied. "And I couldn't sleep."
Hannah and Sam exchanged looks, and for a moment Hannah had every intention of sending him back to bed. Sam just shook his head, his face soft. "You want to watch a movie with us, Will?" he asked in a tone that suggested Will was a friend, not a pesky little brother.
The boy's face lit up. "Can I?" he pleaded, looking at Hannah, sensing that she was the one he needed to convince.
"Sure," she said. "I'm going to get out of this dress first." The innuendo passed right over the boy's head, but Sam had to stifle a laugh. "Get your brain out of the gutter, Samuel."
By the time she got back in sweats and a t-shirt, Sam had removed his jacket and tie and was sitting on the couch listening intently to a story Will was telling. The younger boy was almost glowing from the attention, and Hannah suddenly knew that Will would be okay. Sam's attentions would go a long way towards soothing the wounds that his peers had inflicted, and with any luck, this new school would be better for both him and Davey.
She plopped down on Sam's other side, leaning against him when he put his arm around her. The night had turned out to be absolutely perfect after all.
Or it would, as soon as Will dropped off to sleep and she got to make out with her boyfriend.
~~~~~
"So how was it, pet?" Spike asked several nights later as they patrolled. "Good?"
"Perfect," Hannah replied with a happy sigh. It had been a quiet evening with just her and Spike. Buffy had been coming with them on a regular basis, but she'd had a rough week with the morning—and afternoon and evening—sickness, and so Spike had insisted his wife stay home.
It was nice, though, just them with the cemeteries quiet. It was more like going on a walk with a good friend.
"That good?" Spike asked. "I'm glad, Sweet."
Hannah was quiet for a moment. "We've talked about marriage." Spike looked over at her, shocked, and she laughed a little. "We probably wouldn't even get engaged for a year or so, but—" She sighed. "I know we're really young, Spike, but I don't know how much time I've got."
He stayed silent, knowing that she had a good point. Even though things were different now, Buffy had been the one to take care of the bulk of the emergencies over the last three years since Faith had died. Buffy or Connor, anyway. He and Angel had done their parts, but things were different now.
Hannah was old enough, and well trained enough, to be on the front lines, and that's where she would be.
"If you're still together in a year, that would make sense," Spike said finally.
Hannah took a seat on a tombstone. "I never thought it could be this way."
"What do you mean?"
"Life. That it could be good." Hannah met his eyes. "I'm not saying I have a death wish or anything, but if I died tomorrow—it wouldn't be so bad. You know what I mean?"
Oddly enough, Spike did. "You mean you've got no regrets."
"Yeah," Hannah agreed. "I'm happy. I can remember thinking that I'd never be happy, and now I am."
~~~~~
Hannah's words echoed in Spike's mind long after he'd dropped her off at Wesley's. He stood in the darkened living room of the house he and Buffy shared and thought about what the last fifteen years had brought him.
Love, children, mortality—all things he'd given up on. Things he'd had no right to expect. He'd been a monster, and Buffy had loved him anyway.
She loved him now as a man.
It was a priceless gift.
"Spike?" He turned to see Buffy standing on the stairs. "Are you coming up?"
He smiled. "Yeah, luv. Just got in."
"What were you thinking?
"Just about what a lucky bastard I am." He stood at the bottom of the stairs, gazing at her, the expression on his face much like it had been so long ago when she'd come back from the dead. Buffy couldn't help but agree with his words, although she felt as though she was the lucky one. Death had not killed Spike's love for her, nor had her anger and violence. Time had not altered it, nor had the daily struggles that life so often threw at them.
Spike was her bedrock—just as she was his.
"Not as lucky as I am," Buffy replied, holding out her hand to him. "Come to bed?"
"With you? Always," he replied with a familiar smirk and followed her up the stairs.
When they came together that night it was in celebration of all they had built, of the new life they had created, of the life they would continue to share. They had managed to build a love that would endure long after they were dust. Spike could not regret the immortality he'd given up in order to have this—the chance to leave something of himself behind, the chance to grow old and change, and be a part of the rhythms of life that he'd once put behind him.
The opportunity to be with Buffy through this life and beyond.
Spike was completely content. He finally had a love that would last.
The End.
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