Summary: Buffy Summers, notorious bad girl at home in California, has been sent away to a small town in rural England to live with a distant relative. How can she possibly relieve her boredom? By seducing her shy, impressionable neighbor, of course.
Author's Notes: This isn't a straight PWP, but I doubt there will be much of a plot to it anyway. Just an idea that popped in my head and wouldn't go away. So don't go looking for some deep meanings and themes, 'cause they ain't there.
Dedication: For my favorite diva, 'cause I know she needs a little something to make her smile right now…
Rating: NC-17
Chapter 19
Buffy sat on her bed, unable to stop the sobs that wracked her body. She couldn't believe this was happening. Things had been so good with William—they'd been perfect. Just that morning, they'd been in each other's arms, and now…
She wished she could bring herself to be angry at William. Everything would be so much easier if she could hate him now. But she couldn't. She couldn't even blame him for his reaction. Of course he didn't want to be with her anymore. He was a baron and she was a drunken slut with a criminal record.
No, she didn't hate William. She hated herself.
The knock on her door startled Buffy and she looked up sharply, wiping at her eyes. "Who is it?"
"It's Giles. I received a call from your school today, and I'd like to talk to you about it."
Shit… Buffy thought. Just what she needed. She'd lost William and now Giles was probably going to send her back to her parents, who would probably stick her in a convent or something… She got off the bed and walked towards the door, trying to calm herself so she could ask Giles rationally to let her stay.
She didn't manage it. As soon as she saw him her tears started fresh and she began to ramble, her words running together. "Please…don't make me go…I'm sorry. I'll be good now, and I didn't mean to, it's just that Cecily was so horrible, and she said and did things, and I know that probably doesn't matter, but I'm sorry, and I don't want to go back to my parents because they'll probably make me be a nun, and I don't want to and…"
"Buffy, slow down," Giles said, holding up his hand. "I didn't say I was sending you anywhere."
"You're…you're not going to kick me out?"
"No. I merely wanted to discuss with you what happened. Would you be willing to go sit in my study with me so we might talk?"
Buffy nodded, still shaking slightly with her tears. "Okay."
Giles reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, handing it to her. "Come on. It's all right."
Buffy followed him to his study, wiping her eyes with the handkerchief as she did. When they got into the room, Giles pulled a chair for Buffy before sitting in one across from her. "Now as I understand it, you got into a small altercation this afternoon with Cecily Underwood at school. Can you tell me what happened?" Giles asked.
"Yes," Buffy said with a nod. "See, William…"
"William from next door?" Giles interrupted.
"Uh huh."
"And as I understand it, the two of you have been dating, correct?"
"We were," Buffy said, her face crumpling as she said the words. "I'm sorry…I'm just…"
"It's all right, dear child. Take your time, please," Giles said, giving her a soft, warm smile.
"Thank you." Buffy took a deep breath. "William used to like Cecily, but she shot him down. So then he started dating me. And she didn't care about him at all until I got with him, and all the sudden she just has to have him. So she hired a private investigator to dig up all the dirt from my life in L.A. and then gave it to William, who then got all freaked out about it."
Giles's eyes widened. "Wait…she did what ?"
"She hired a private investigator to get information on me to give to William," Buffy repeated. "She had everything…tabloid clippings, police reports…"
"Please hold on a moment, Buffy," Giles said, rising from his seat. He went over to his desk, flipping through a thick address book before picking up the telephone and dialing a number. "Yes, Mrs. Underwood, please." Giles glanced briefly over at Buffy as he waited on the phone, then turned away as he began to speak again.
"Yes, Mrs. Underwood, this is Rupert Giles, the guardian of Miss Buffy Summers. Yes, I am aware of that. No, you listen here, Mrs. Underwood—your daughter hired an investigator to retrieve private information regarding Miss Summers that she then distributed to a third party—without either the knowledge or consent of Miss Summers—with the sole purpose of causing Miss Summers emotional and personal distress. I highly suggest you speak with your daughter immediately to curb any of this sort of behavior in the future, or you will be hearing from my lawyers. I have half a mind to take you and your daughter into court over what she's done already." Giles paused for a moment, listening, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I do appreciate it, Mrs. Underwood. I trust there will be no more trouble of this nature. Yes, of course. Good day."
Giles hung up the phone and turned back to Buffy. "You were saying?"
Even feeling as badly as she did, Buffy couldn't help smiling a little. "Thank you for that."
"It was my pleasure. I've never cared one bit for the Underwoods . Ghastly people, the lot of them," Giles replied, sitting back down. "Now, what happened with William?"
Buffy looked down at her hands, twisting the handkerchief. "I think we broke up."
"You think?"
Buffy sighed. "I don't know. It was just all so sudden. We were fine and then Cecily stepped in, and screwed it all up."
"I'm terribly sorry, Buffy. I know this sort of thing can be quite difficult."
"It hurts so much. I know we hadn't been together very long, but I really, really liked him," Buffy said, finding herself unable to keep from pouring her heart out. "He wasn't like other guys I've dated. He was actually…nice to me. He respected me, but now I guess that's shot all to hell." She sniffled.
Giles cleared his throat. "Well, I can't say I know much about teenage girls, never having been one myself, but I do believe that this sort of thing requires some type of ice cream with a ridiculous amount of chocolate in it. I have some in the freezer if you'd like to continue this discussion accompanied by it."
Buffy looked up. "I'd like that."
"Good." They both stood and Giles looked at her for a moment before reaching out, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Your parents needn't know about your suspension, Buffy. It can stay between us. And as for going back to live with them—my home is always open to you. Even when the school year has ended."
Buffy's eyes widened. "You…you actually mean that?"
"Yes. As I'm sure you have noticed, I never married. I am…seeing someone, but she has already done all the child rearing she wishes to do, and has no intention of remarrying in the near future—not that it's particularly something I want myself. But I have longed to have someone in my life that I can look on in a paternal sort of way, and as I see it, you are in as much need of a parent as I am of a daughter. I believe some sort of arrangement can be made."
Buffy felt her tears starting again, although this time for an entirely different reason. She tried to speak, but found herself unsure of what to say. Instead, she threw her arms around Giles, embracing him tightly. He hesitated for a moment, unused to such a gesture, before hugging her back. "Thank you," Buffy whispered against him. "Thank you so much."
"It is my pleasure to look upon you as family, my dear." Buffy pulled away and Giles smiled softly at her, brushing her tears from her cheeks. "Now, how about that ice cream, hmm?"
*** *** ***
William sat alone in his room, the lights off. He couldn't quite wrap his head around what had happened only a few hours earlier. Had he honestly just broken up with Buffy?
Being without her was the last thing he wanted. All he had wanted was a little time to process seeing those pictures before they talked. Seeing her with other men had hit him hard, bringing out the jealous boyfriend in him, and he hadn't wanted to take that out on Buffy. He hadn't wanted to fight with her.
And hadn't that just blown up in his face? He felt like an idiot, cursing himself for his complete lack of relationship knowledge. He didn't know how to handle these things, didn't know what he was supposed to say or do. Then Buffy had taken everything the wrong way, thinking he judged her for things she'd done before they'd gotten together. He didn't. He couldn't . He loved her too much to look at her that way. It had been a shock, but she was still the same person she'd been that morning, and he loved her just as much as ever.
Buffy, on the other hand, obviously believed he did judge her. She'd accused him of thinking of her as his whore and of wanting to break up with her because of his title. How could she think he'd do those things? Hadn't he shown her that she meant the world to him? He'd tried. But he wasn't very good at these sorts of things at all…
He'd thought that Buffy had enjoyed all the time they'd spent together in bed, but what if she hadn't? What if she felt like he was pushing for it too much, that it was all he wanted out of her? Was that what had driven her to accuse him of thinking of her as a whore? If that were the case… William grew pale, feeling suddenly ill. Had he made Buffy feel that way? He knew he shouldn't have given into his body's desires the way he had. He hadn't shown Buffy enough respect. That had to be why she felt this way about him.
And what could he say to her now? Would she believe that he was willing to treat her the way a gentleman should? Of course she wouldn't. She was probably glad to be rid of him, grateful to no longer have to serve his every base desire. She'd wanted someone who didn't treat her the way those men in the pictures had, and William had shown himself to be no better than them. He had treated her as a whore, not as the love she was.
He wanted to find some way to apologize, but knew there was none. He'd been so incredibly foolish and ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He ached all over, his chest clenching, but he didn't try to push away the pain. He deserved it after the way he'd treated Buffy.
William looked over towards her bedroom, seeing it dark with the blinds closed. He wondered where she was, and if she was hurting, too. He knew she probably was, thinking of the horrible way he'd behaved towards her, and he hated himself. Buffy didn't deserve what he'd done to her. She had so much pain in her life already with her parents, and the last thing she needed was him adding to it.
He turned his gaze back to the ceiling, sighing heavily. "You're a stupid git, Will," he said aloud. "A stupid, pathetic git."
All he could do was hope Buffy would someday move past what he'd done to her and find someone who wasn't too much of an idiot to treat her right.
*** *** ***
Buffy woke the next morning feeling off. Her body ached and something just felt wrong . And then it hit her in a rush.
She'd broken up with William…
A minute into her day and she was already sobbing. She was grateful for her suspension. There was no way she could face Cecily today.
"Buffy? Are you awake?" she heard Giles call through her door, tapping lightly.
Buffy sniffled, wiping at her eyes. "Yeah."
"May I come in?"
"Sure," Buffy said, sitting up in bed.
Giles opened the door, giving her a sympathetic look. "I thought I heard you crying."
"I just started," Buffy said. "Granted, I've only been awake for like two minutes…"
"Which do you think would help you more, Buffy? Staying in and keeping to yourself or going out and trying to keep your mind off of it? Perhaps some shopping?"
Buffy looked at him incredulously. "Giles, are you offering to take me shopping ? ' Cause that's a scary endeavor…"
Giles took off his glasses, polishing them on the edge of his shirt. "Yes, well, if it would help you to feel better, I would risk it."
"I appreciate it. I really do. But I think this is going to be a curl up in the bed and feel sorry for myself sort of day," Buffy replied.
"All right then. But if you change your mind, do let me know. I'll be in the study. If you need anything at all, ring for me and I'll be here."
Buffy gave him a tiny smile. "Thank you. No one's ever treated me like this before. It's almost like having someone care about me."
"I do care about you, Buffy," Giles replied. "I meant what I said last night. No one should have to feel alone in this world. Be they seventeen year old girls or…very old men."
Buffy snorted. "You're not very old. I mean, you don't have to gum all your food or anything."
Giles chuckled. "Thank you. I do appreciate that." He reached out, squeezing Buffy's shoulder. "Do let me know if you need anything at all. Would you like me to bring some movies up here for you to watch?"
"Ooh, would you? I think I have The Princess Bride downstairs."
"Of course. I'll be back in a moment."
Buffy wiped at her eyes, feeling somewhat better even though the hole in her heart that William had left still ached. But at least she wasn't suffering in solitude. For the first time in her life she felt like there was someone who really cared for her.
William thought he might be going crazy. He hadn't seen Buffy in two days and already he couldn't take it. He couldn't sleep, his bed too large and cold without her in it. He needed to hold her, touch her, kiss her, move inside of her. He was craving sex more now than he had before he'd actually had it, and he couldn't exactly figure out why that was. Shouldn't he have gotten enough in the past couple of weeks that his body would be accepting of a break?
Apparently not.
His bed smelled like her, the lingering traces of the scent of her hair on his pillows enough to drive him insane. It taunted him, reminding him cruelly of what he'd lost. He thought he should perhaps wash them, but he couldn't bring himself to erase what little remained of her. He'd rather have a painful reminder than nothing at all.
He couldn't concentrate on his studies, his mind wandering to the point that his tutor had left early, stating that he wasn't going to waste his time when William clearly wasn't paying the least bit of attention.
The house was filled with her. Every place he looked, he could almost see her, hear her. The time they'd spent here together had been short, but it had been enough to leave a deep impression on his mind, haunting him wherever he went.
It didn't take William long at all to realize he couldn't live like this. He needed Buffy, needed to touch her, to run his hands along her smooth, golden skin. She'd worked her way into his system, into his blood, and she was a craving now—an addiction.
His body told him to go to her and beg her forgiveness until she let him back into her bed, but he knew he couldn't do that. He'd already hurt her enough by making her feel like a whore. He refused to do it any further. He would have to remind himself how to be a gentleman, to curb his needs around a lady, put her first.
Knowing that didn't make it easy to do. He wanted her here with him, if even for a moment, just to see her smile. But no. He'd buggered up everything and he was alone.
William wasn't going to make it like this. He needed to do something— anything —to dull the aching in his heart. He'd thought he could just accept things as they were, that it would be just like it was before Buffy, and maybe he could survive that. But the loneliness and emptiness he felt now were a thousand times worse than anything he'd felt in the past. He'd touched happiness and learned that it really wasn't better to have loved and lost than to have never love at all. At least if you'd never loved at all you didn't know what you were missing.
William knew. And he couldn't live without it. He had to come up with a way to make this hurting stop and fast.
*** *** ***
Buffy had spent all day Thursday and part of Friday in bed. She'd moped, she'd felt sorry for herself, she'd cried her eyes out.
Then shortly after lunch on Friday she'd decided it was time for her to suck it up. Losing William hurt her more than she could even describe, but she'd always bounced back from everything she'd faced in the past. She was strong, a survivor.
There was a party that night and she was going to go. She had no doubt that Cecily would be there, and Buffy was going to show her that it took more than this to keep Buffy Summers down. She wouldn't allow Cecily the satisfaction of thinking she'd broken her.
But that didn't mean that Buffy wasn't going to get herself some moral support. She'd gotten Giles to pull a few strings and allow Willow a weekend away from the school on short notice, and the redhead had agreed to accompany Buffy to the party.
Not that she was happy about it… Willow sat on Buffy's bed, reluctantly allowing Buffy to do her hair and make up. "Parties really aren't my thing," Willow said, her eyes screwed shut as Buffy attempted to apply eye shadow. "They make me really nervous."
"I promise I won't abandon you," Buffy said. "And stop squinting. It's making this really difficult."
"I can't help it! My eyes want to squint when someone comes after them with some pointy thing!"
"It's an eye shadow brush, Wills. It's supposed to be near your eye. Just relax. I'm an expert at this. I used to dream about doing hair and make-up for the stars."
"Really?" Willow asked, trying to make herself relax like Buffy had told her to. "Why don't you want to anymore?"
"I don't know. Just changed my mind, I guess," Buffy replied. "And I'm not living in L.A. anymore, which makes a difference. Not that I couldn't do it in England, too, but it wouldn't be the same."
"I thought you were going back to L.A. after school ended," Willow said.
"I was going to, but I really didn't want to. I was miserable living there. But Giles told me that I could stay with him as long as I wanted to. He even offered to support me through college if I wanted to do school in England."
"Wow. That's just…wow."
"I know. He's such a nice man. I feel really lucky to have him in my life. He's been great over the past couple of days, trying to make me feel better about William." Buffy swallowed as she said his name, the sound of the word making her heart clench. "Okay, now hold your lips like this," she said, pushing down the pain as she demonstrated the expression she wanted Willow to make.
"Like this?" Willow asked as she mirrored Buffy.
"Yep, that's it," Buffy replied, grabbing the lipstick and putting it on Willow. She then handed her a tissue. "Okay, now put it on between your lips and blot." Buffy smacked her own lips together. "Like this."
Willow did what she said before reaching out warily for the mirror Buffy had on the bed. "I don't look like a clown, do I?"
"Not unless clowns got a lot sexier since the last time I was at the circus," Buffy said with a teasing grin. "You look great, Willow. A real dish."
Willow brought the mirror up, examining her face. "I…I don't know if it's really me."
"You're fine. And I promise you it's only for a little while anyway. I just need to show Cecily that she hasn't broken me. Then we can come back here and have a good old fashioned slumber party," Buffy replied.
"Okay. But I'm only doing this 'cause you're like the only friend I have. And also because I think Cecily's a total b- i -t-c-h."
"To put it mildly." Buffy jumped up. "Okay, time for wardrobe."
"Wardrobe? What's wrong with that I have on?" Willow asked.
"Wills, we're going to a party, not an Amish barn raising. Just trust me here. I will not lead you astray."
Willow sighed, getting to her feet. "I'm taking a lot on faith here."
Buffy chuckled. "I know. And I appreciate it. Now come on, let's raid my closet."
*** *** ***
"Okay, I can do this," Buffy said, smoothing down her skirt as they stood outside the house where the party was being held. "I'm perfectly fine. My heart has not been ripped out and smashed to a bloody paste, and Cecily Underwood has no power over me whatsoever."
"Might be a little more convincing if you didn't have that terrified look on your face," Willow said. "Just a suggestion."
"Right. Let's go in." They'd taken only a few steps when Buffy stopped abruptly, turning around. "I can't do this. It's too soon, and my heart is broken, and Cecily is the last person in the world I want to see right now."
Willow crossed her arms in front of her. "Oh no you don't. You got me all dressed up and dragged me out to this party, and we're going in." She pointed to her face. "This is my Resolve Face. Do you know what that means yet?"
Buffy nodded. "Yeah."
"Okay, then you know there's no changing my mind. Besides, you were right. You do need to show Cecily that you're fine—even if it's a complete and total lie. She's spent too long pushing people around. It's time someone stood up to her."
"You can be damn forceful when you want to be," Buffy said. "You're a little scary."
"You're darn right I am," Willow said with a nod. "Now march. It's party time."
Buffy took a deep breath, walking with Willow up to the house and knocking on the door. They were let in without question, though all eyes were definitely on Buffy, this being her first public appearance since her suspension. The rumors had been flying since Wednesday, the most recent one having escalated to Buffy trying to stab Cecily to death with her cafeteria fork.
Buffy sorta wished she'd thought of that one at the time…
She didn't let the looks people were giving her phase her. Instead, she held her head up high, acting as if the whispers meant nothing to her. She'd faced much worse from the crowd back in Los Angeles. These people were nothing but amateurs in comparison.
She kept Willow by her side, keeping her promise to not abandon the other girl. She noticed that Willow seemed to be relaxing, seeing her bopping her head to the music a few times. Buffy nudged her friend. "Told you it wouldn't be so bad."
"I can think of a lot of things that would be better," Willow replied.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "There are a lot worse, too." She handed Willow her cup. "Could you hold my drink for me? I'm going to go to the bathroom."
"You'll…you'll be back soon, right?" Willow asked, fear in her eyes.
"Of course. This skirt just squeezes my bladder…sorry. I'll be back so quickly you won't even know I was gone."
"Okay. I'll be right here. In this spot," Willow said. "I'm not budging."
Buffy chuckled. "Whatever you want to do." She made her way through the crowd and down the hall, stopping short when she heard Cecily's voice. The shrill sound cut right through her, and Buffy's insides turned. She'd wanted to show Cecily that she was strong, but at the same time, she was hoping she wouldn't actually run into her at all. Buffy was sure that Cecily would find out she'd come to the party by word of mouth alone.
Buffy took a deep breath, resolving to just walk by the room where Cecily was, hoping the brunette wouldn't even notice her. She'd just gotten to the open door when she stopped short, realizing who Cecily was in there with. Her heart dropped, her legs threatening to give out from under her.
"William, I really do love you. I was a fool before, for what I said to you. I didn't mean it, darling."
Buffy froze, unable to keep walking. William's back was to her, and she waited for his answer, needing to know how he'd respond. Would he accept the advances of a woman who had done to her what Cecily did?
"Cecily, I…"
Cecily didn't let William finish. She grabbed him, pulling him in for a kiss. Buffy felt her world shatter in that instant, and she turned and ran to the bathroom, though her reason for needing to be there had changed. She slammed the door behind her, locking it before going to the toilet and retching up the contents of her stomach.
Soon, she pulled up, wiping at her mouth with a piece of toilet paper before flushing. She couldn't believe this, couldn't believe what she saw. But then again, it made sense. Cecily was the woman William had truly wanted. If he could have her, then Buffy would be nothing to him.
She sunk to the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there before she heard a knock on the door. "I'll…I'll be out in a minute," she managed to call out.
"Buffy, it's Willow. You've been gone for a while. I came to check on you."
Buffy rose shakily to her feet, going to the door and opening it. "I'm sorry. I just…" She took a deep breath, her body shaking. "I saw William and Cecily kissing."
"What? No way!"
"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes," Buffy replied. "It was horrible. She…she told him she loved him. And then…" She fell over against Willow, crying as her heart broke.
"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I can't believe William turned out to be such a jerk."
"Me either. He seemed like the exact opposite of this. I guess…I guess all guys really are the same."
"Do you want to go home now?" Willow asked. "We can call for our ride to come early, and sit outside while we wait, get some fresh air."
Buffy nodded, pulling up. "Okay."
Willow wrapped her arm around Buffy, walking with her out of the party.
Submit a Review!