Summary: Spike stops a warlock's spell, inadvertantly getting himself into deep trouble. Will Buffy be able to accept the changes in him? And what are they going to do about Glory?
Rating: PG-13
Buffy made her way through the crowded frat party, trying not to spill her drink. This was supposed to be fun, she knew, but she found herself beyond bored. Other than the Scoobies, there really wasn't anyone else she knew, and she'd never been good at making small talk with people. Something about being a Slayer didn't lend itself well to idle chit chat. ('Oh, what do you do with your free time?' 'You know, kill vampires and demons.' Right.)
Trying to get herself around a knot of people, she managed to run right into someone's chest. "Ow! Watch it!" Buffy winced and managed a step back, only to see Spike looking at her with a very annoyed expression on his face. But the annoyance quickly faded when he saw who it was that had bumped him, and he reached out a steadying hand. "You alright there, pet?"
"Fine," she replied, shaking liquid off her fingers ruefully. "Just being a klutz, I guess. So what are you doing here?"
Spike held up a drink. "Free beer and snacks, luv. Couldn't pass it up. You?"
"About the same," she admitted. "Come on. Let's get out of the way." Buffy could sense him following her, and she realized that she wasn't nearly as bored anymore. Spike had a way of spicing up just about any engagement. Willow, Tara, and Xander were all standing in a small group, and they smiled at her even as they glanced at Spike suspiciously. No one, not even Xander, said anything about his presence. All of them knew about the curse at this point.
"Hey, Spike," Tara said shyly, the only one to acknowledge him. "You came."
"Free beer," he replied, smiling a little at her. And then he frowned as a pretty brunette walked right up to them, looking from one to another.
"Hi. Have you seen Warren? He needs me." She smiled, blinking in a steady, regular pattern that somehow creeped Spike out. Well, actually, she creeped everybody out.
"Um, no. Sorry," Buffy replied, she and Spike sharing a look, and then watching as she went off to ask someone else about "Warren." They might have gone back to chatting but a loud crash startled everyone, and they all turned just in time to see the tail end of a guy go flying through the window. Buffy sighed, handed her drink to Spike, and waded through the crowd to confront the girl, not sure of what it was she was dealing with.
"Hi. Look, I don't know what he said to you or anything, but you can't throw people through windows," Buffy said as politely as she could. "It's really not done."
The girl blinked at her twice, and then said, "Do you know my boyfriend?"
Buffy grimaced. "Tell you what. Why don't you stop looking for your boyfriend, because-"
Whatever she might have said was interrupted by the girl throwing her across the room with no warning whatsoever. Buffy fell hard, stunned, as the strange girl stood over her. "I'm sorry if I hurt you just now, but I need to find Warren. He needs me. I hope your boyfriend takes good care of you."
"Too right." Spike's voice came from the side, and she felt strong hands pick her up and set her back on her feet. When she gave him a look, he shrugged. "Bloke can dream." They both looked at the girl, who was leaving. "Now that was just a bit odd," he murmured.
Buffy nodded, rubbing her arm reflexively as the rest of her friends came to stand around her. "Did anybody else think she was a little off? Like she was a-"
"A robot." Tara looked at the others, who nodded, and Spike got a look of dawning realization on his face.
"Knew something was off," he said. "Couldn't hear the heart beat or the blood..." Spike trailed off at the looks the others were giving him. "Knew something was wrong, anyway."
Buffy sighed. "I suppose we're going to have to try and find her. Or whoever made her."
"Well," Willow pursed her lips and looked thoughtful. "If Warren's her boyfriend, he's probably the one that made her. It's not a common name, and I could probably get a list tonight. Though, we wouldn't actually be able to narrow it down until tomorrow."
Buffy nodded. "It'll have to wait until tomorrow then. It didn't seem as if she was too dangerous, as long as you don't tell her not to look for her boyfriend." She rubbed the now-fading ache in her arm reflexively. "I should probably get home, though. Giles is watching Dawn while Mom's out on her date tonight. It might be a good idea to keep the torture to a minimum."
"Giles and Dawn?" Tara looked a little surprised. "They're probably having a great time."
"Uh huh." Buffy wasn't buying that idea for a minute. "I think I'll do a sweep on the way. Spike, you want to come along?"
The vampire looked a little startled to be the one addressed, but he nodded and quickly set down his glass. "Sure. Why not?" There was actually a chorus of good-nights directed at both of them as Buffy and Spike made their way through the dwindling crowd at the party. "What was that about?" Spike asked suspiciously as they left.
"What was what about?" Buffy asked innocently.
"They were bein' nice." At Buffy's look, he added. "You're bein' nice too."
"Gift horse? Mouth?"
He sighed. "Right. Sorry." There didn't seem to be much to say as they made their way to Buffy's house. They weren't too far from Revello Drive, when Spike finally broke the silence. "You know, Slayer..."
She gave him an amused look. "Just spit it out, Spike."
"If you ever need someone to look after the Niblet and the Watcher's busy or something, you could ask me." Spike really couldn't believe he was offering himself up as a babysitter for the Slayer's little sister. He hadn't wanted to be at anyone's beck and call. "If I'm not busy or anythin'," he quickly added.
"And you want to know why I didn't ask you tonight?" Buffy said, now highly amused. "I just thought you could use some, you know, alone time or something, after what happened with Drusilla."
"I told you, Buffy, it had to be done."
But the Slayer could hear something wistful in his tone, a note of longing for what could not be. "What did you mean about not wanting to be anyone's?"
Spike looked over at her, and Buffy could see he wanted to say something snarky, something nasty, but whatever he saw in her eyes changed his mind. "I want choices, Slayer," he finally said. "When Dru made me, I didn't get much of a choice, an' then I didn't have a lot of choices after that. It was always about her. And then I got this bleedin' chip in my head, and suddenly I had even fewer choices."
Buffy stared at him, wondering how he could articulate so clearly what she wanted so desperately-to have a choice in life, to be able to make a decision as to what she wanted and where she wanted to go. And she wondered again how it was that she and a vampire could have so much in common in the first place. "I know the feeling," she murmured.
They walked up to her front door, and it looked as though Spike was going to turn around and leave. Buffy still hadn't gotten a chance to ask him about the curse, and she turned to him. "Do you want to come in?"
A glimmer of a smile, almost a smirk, hovered around his lips, but all he did was nod. "Sure, luv. That'd be right nice."
The door suddenly swung open, and Giles stood in the doorway. If he was surprised to see Spike, he gave nothing away. "Buffy, thank God you're home. We have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old girl is too old to have a babysitter. It's not fair to her."
Buffy grinned broadly. "What did she make you do?"
Giles rubbed his aching head. "We listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance, and then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys."
Spike was having a very hard time not laughing in the other man's face. "You should have pulled out the cards, mate."
"The cards?" Giles looked at him, puzzled.
The vampire shrugged. "She'll clean you out, since she learned how to play from yours truly, but it keeps her away from both cookie dough and the music. Maybe not the talking about boys though," he added thoughtfully.
Giles looked at Buffy. "Do you mean to tell me Spike knows the secret to babysitting Dawn, and no one thought to ask him?"
Buffy couldn't help laughing. "Apparently not. Who knew that Spike was the fountain of wisdom for all things Dawn? If it makes you feel better, my evening was pretty boring, the highlight being seeing a guy getting thrown through a window by a robot."
"A robot?" Giles suddenly looked interested.
"Willow's looking into it," Buffy said. "If you wanted, you could stay, and we could-"
Joyce breezed up to the front door. "Who wants to hear everything?"
"-listen to mom talk about boys," the Slayer finished, smiling as Giles quickly excused himself, and said good night to both women and Spike. She shared a look with the vampire, who followed her inside. Buffy still wasn't sure what had happened in the last few days. Spike had quickly gone from being a complete and utter pest to being a friend. A friend whom she was becoming very fond of.
Buffy could hear Spike chuckling quietly as her mom teased her about her dating exploits. But, really, the thought of your mother's bra left anywhere was enough to induce major trauma. After she'd tortured Buffy sufficiently, and when Spike was having a great deal of trouble stifling his laughter, Joyce headed up to bed, leaving Buffy and Spike alone downstairs.
"Give me just a minute, okay?" Buffy asked, glancing at him before heading up the stairs to her room.
Spike stayed where he was on the couch, his duster laid beside him, not quite believing the events of the evening. It was more than Buffy's kindness towards him, or everyone else's tolerance. It almost felt as though he was making a place for himself here, with her, and the thought caused the burden he carried to lighten just a little. When the Slayer came back downstairs, she was in loose-fitting knit pants and a sweat-shirt. "You want something to drink?" she offered. "I think we've still got some blood left over from when you were here."
He shrugged. "I ate earlier, pet, but thanks."
"Hot chocolate?"
"Little marshmallows?"
Buffy grinned at him. "I think I can manage that." They were soon sipping their drinks companionably at the kitchen island. "So, when were you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?" he asked, startled by the question.
"About the curse." At his stare, she explained, "Giles translated the stuff on your chest. He said it meant you might have your soul back. I was coming to ask you about it the other night, but then there was that thing with your ex."
"Dunno, luv," he admitted quietly. "It hurts. It hurts all the time, but I dunno what it means, if I have my soul back or not. Kind of feels like it maybe, but-don't want what I used to want."
Buffy hesitated. "Can I see?"
There was a long moment, and then Spike lifted up his shirt. The wounds had faded to angry red marks, and Buffy touched one gently. "Does it hurt?"
He shook his head. "Not really. Not there."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"What was I goin' to say, Slayer?" he replied in turn. "Why should I say anythin'?" Spike frowned. "I saw-I saw what you see every time you look at me when I was on that wall. An' there was no relief when you pulled me down. Their voices, their faces were still there every time I closed my eyes or stopped for a moment. What could you do? Why would you want to do anythin' at all?"
Buffy was silent. He had a really good point, actually, and she understood. She really did. "Spike-why? I mean, I know why you went after that guy, but why would you even feel that way in the first place? I didn't do anything."
Spike looked surprised, and then shook his head. "Why would you think you needed to do anythin' at all, luv? It's who you are that matters." When Buffy didn't look convinced, he continued. "You're so alive, pet. You move-like no one I've ever seen. And you try, even when you know you're going to lose, you try. Question isn't why do I feel the way I do, it's why wouldn't I?"
Buffy stared at him, almost frightened. Angel had said something like that to her once, when she'd been put through that test the Watcher's Council had set up. But this was Spike, and there was no denying that he'd felt something even before this mysterious curse was placed on him. It was suddenly time to change the subject. "Do you think Glory's coming back?"
Spike blinked, confused by the sudden change in topic, but then shrugged. "Dunno. It has been pretty quiet, but it's hard to tell whether she's just lyin' low for a while, or if she's got some grand scheme in mind." He paused. "No, actually, probably no grand scheme. Too airheaded."
Buffy giggled a little, and he smiled in reply, pleased to have been able to make her laugh. She asked him another question, one about his new house. For some reason, it was easy to talk to him, maybe because there was so little acting with Spike. He was who he was, and she was who she was, and that was the end of it.
Except that it was hard to know him, hard to understand who he was underneath all those layers. And somewhere in the midst of her trying to find out what exactly he represented for her, they found themselves on the couch, watching television and talking. It was four in the morning, and near dawn, when he finally stood to go, reluctantly. "I should get home before I'm stuck here for the rest of the day."
"You could stay," Buffy offered. "I could set the cot up in the basement again."
He shook his head. "No, that's fine. If I leave now, I'll just make it. Wouldn't do to make a nuisance of myself."
"You're not a nuisance, Spike," she replied, with more feeling than she'd intended.
He looked surprised. "Buffy-"
"Friends, remember?" she asked.
"I remember." Spike looked off into the middle distance and smiled thoughtfully. "I know I said I didn't want to belong to anyone, but if you need me..."
"I'll call." She paused. "Well, I probably won't call, since you don't have a phone, but I'll come by or something."
Spike nodded and went to the door, and Buffy called out after him. "Spike? Same goes for you."
He smirked. "Better not make that kind of offer around me, luv. You never know what I'll need." And with that comment he disappeared out into the night.
"And you'll never know what I'd offer," Buffy murmured, once she was certain he was out of ear shot.
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