Et Lux In Tenebris Lucet (And the Light Shineth in the Darkness) by Enigmaticblue

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Chapter 16: Altar Call

"Spike, hurry up, we're going to be late," Buffy called down the basement steps. She was all ready to go, as were Dawn and Tara, but Spike seemed to be taking his own sweet time. "Spike-"

He appeared at the basement door, a sour expression on his face. "Don't see why I had to wear this get-up."

Buffy gave him a long-suffering look. "Because you promised to help Dawn with the gift and guest receiving, and Anya said you had to. So shut up and hold still."

As much as he was whining, he did look good, Buffy thought. Anya had insisted on his wearing a tie if he was going to be part of the wedding party, if only a very peripheral part. Refusing to wear a tux, which he called a monkeysuit, he'd managed to come up with a decent pair of black pants (not jeans), a dark blue shirt, and a black tie. Buffy's nimble fingers started knotting the tie where it hung around his neck.

She was busy trying to remember if the next step was over or under when she caught him staring at her with rapt attention. "What?"

"You look good, Buffy," he said softly. "Happy, y'know? Makes you glow."

It was a compliment she hadn't been expecting, and she brushed it off with a slightly glib, "That's because the dress is radioactive."

He chuckled, a whisper of sound. "Yeah, still. I like seein' you happy, luv."

"Thanks," she replied, straightening his tie. "All done." Buffy gave him a measuring look. "You look good today too. I don't know I'd go so far as to say you're glowing, but you look good."

He ducked his head shyly, like a boy who'd just received his first compliment. "I know we need to go, but I wanted to ask you a favor," he began. "I know you'll probably say no, and I don't expect you to say yes or anythin'. If you don't want to, that's fine, I mean-"

"Spike, spit it out," Buffy commanded gently.

"Would you save me a dance at the reception?" he asked. "Know it's not goin' to be dancin', more like sittin' one out with me. You don't even have to say anythin' to anybody."

Buffy stared at him with a kind of aching tenderness. It was easy to like him when he was this Spike, this boy in vampire's clothing who wanted nothing more than a dance with the girl he loved. It was much harder to like him in his other guises when he was hard and daring and brash. But she found she liked the warrior as much as she liked the boy. The warrior was just a lot more annoying. "I'll save you two."

In that instant, Spike swore his heart beat once. Impulsively, he said, "I wish-" And then he stopped himself because that was a dirty word around the Summers' house anymore. And because what he wished he could never have, and could never offer her. Best not to say anything.

Buffy must have seen something in his eyes though, because she simply said, "I know." And then they left to watch what they had both once hoped to have.

~~~~~

"Hymen's greetings," the tall demon said sonorously.

"Hy-what?" Dawn asked.

"God of Matrimony," Spike supplied from the side. "Didn't know you'd be here today, D'Hoffryn."

"And miss the wedding of one of my best girls?" D'Hoffryn smiled genteely. "We're here to mingle, of course, William. Or do you prefer Spike?"

The vampire smiled slightly. "Spike's fine." He watched as the demon handed the box to Dawn, who gasped slightly as a tentacle poked out of one of the holes. "Enjoy yourselves," he added, looking over at Halfrek menacingly. In response, the vengeance demon edged past him, forgoing her attempts at conversation with Dawn. "Do me a favor, Bit," Spike murmured as soon as they were out of earshot. "Find a nice, dark closet to shut that box up in. We don't want it getting out."

Dawn gave the wriggling box a suspicious stare. "Um, sure."

"And when you're done with that, why don't you go say hi to that guy you were ogling."

The teen gave him an anguished look. "I wasn't ogling!"

"Eyeing, then," he said with a smile. "Go mingle, Bit. Guests aren't comin' so heavy now, and I can take care of the rest of it."

She gave him a grin. "Thanks. We'll see if he'll even talk to me while I'm wearing this dress."

"He'd be a stupid git not to. You're lookin' particularly beautiful today, Niblet." He gave her a soft smile, and she beamed at him. Spike was beginning to realize how easy it was to make her smile, and how much he enjoyed doing it.

"Thank you, Spike. You look good too. I think Buffy definitely likes." She gave him a cheeky grin and left to find a closet for the box, as well as the young demon.

Spike hung around the doorway for a while, making sure that the bulk of the guests had arrived. Once he was sure everything was under control, he headed into the hall, noticing that Xander was surrounded by people, all of them demanding his attention. He didn't even bother to hide his smirk. If there was one thing Harris and his girl had shown him, it was that Vegas was the best option if you were going to tie the knot. The whelp had gotten himself into this neck-deep for sure, and Spike was planning on enjoying the show.

And then he watched as Harris allowed himself to be steered away from the crowd by an old man. Spike wouldn't have thought anything of it if they hadn't walked right past him. Normally in a group this large, he wouldn't be able to pick out anything but the most familiar scents, and Harris was definitely there. But the old man, while he looked human, most definitely wasn't, and they were close enough for him to tell. While there might be demons all around him, none of them looked human.

For a moment, he considered just letting them go; it really wasn't any of his concern. Of course, if anything happened to Xander, and Buffy found out he could have stopped it, she'd stake him in a second. Heaving an unnecessary sigh, he followed.

The old wanker was holding some glowing ball in his hand, which then sent out a beam of light and sucked Xander inside. Spike had seen a number of strange things in his life, but that was right up there. "Hey!" he called out. "Drop it!"

The old man was surprised enough to do exactly that, and Xander suddenly appeared on the floor with a hard thump, even as the ball shattered. The demon scuttled out the door, but Spike ignored him in favor of the fallen groom. "Harris? You okay?"

Xander managed to sit up, putting both hands over his face as he groaned. "Oh, man."

"You okay?" Spike asked more insistently, getting worried. Buffy would kill him if he managed to get Harris brain-damaged.

Xander stood shakily. "I don't think so." Spike was silent. He sounded coherent, and he was moving okay, so he couldn't be too hurt. "I can't do this."

The vampire frowned. "Can't do what?"

"I can't marry her. I can't marry Anya."

Spike frowned. "Of course you can. You've just got cold feet. Take a deep breath and it'll go away."

"No, you don't understand," Xander insisted. "That guy was me. He showed me-if I marry her, I'll end up hurting her."

"The guy was a demon," Spike exclaimed, exasperated. "What he showed you was a bunch of rot, and if you want to hurt the girl the best way would be to not marry her."

"No," he replied. "He was right. We can't get married, not now." Xander started to leave, but Spike called him back.

"Do you know what you're doing?" he demanded. "You walk out now, and you'll lose her. She'll hate your guts, and she'll be right."

"Better that she hate me now than later when we're married," Xander said, not turning.

The ice in Spike's voice was obvious. "I never took you for a coward, Harris."

Xander laid a hand on the door-frame, leaning heavily for just an instant. "Me neither."

~~~~~

"Buffy," Spike said insistantly, grabbing her arm. "Harris left."

She frowned at him. "What do you mean Xander left? Where did he go?" Her frown deepened as he quickly described what had happened. "Okay, I guess we'll have to go look for him." Just then Willow walked up, and Buffy looked over at her in relief. "Will, go look for Xander. Apparently some demon guy went and force-fed him some sort of vision that's given him a case of cold feet. I'm gonna go see if I can find this demon and stall the guests."

"What do you want me to do, Slayer?" Spike asked, instantly at her disposal.

Buffy looked at his earnest face, and felt a moment of guilt for what she was about to ask him to do. But only a moment. "Tell Anya-tell her something so she won't worry. Explain that the wedding is on hold for a little while. And keep her happy."

Spike watched as Buffy and Willow hurried off in their green dresses. "Keep her happy," he muttered. "Right, keep the jilted bride happy until she decides to kill the messenger." He knocked briefly on the door before entering, finding Anya admiring herself in the mirror and practicing her vows while Tara posed as the appreciative audience. The witch gave him a smile of genuine welcome, and he felt a rush of affection for her. Her kindness moved him.

"Uh, Anya?" he said uncertainly. He still hadn't figured out a good cover story.

"Yes, Spike?" she said expectantly. She seemed to shine with a sort of general good-will, as though she would love the whole world on her wedding day.

"The, uh, the minister had to rush off unexpectedly," he said, slightly nervous. He was trying desperately to think of a good reason for a minister to rush off.

"Why? Doesn't he know his most important job is to marry us?" Anya asked.

"Uh, right," Spike agreed immediately, trying to think. "Uh, he got called to, uh, perform last rites for some bloke. Dyin' in the hospital, you know." Spike was amazed by his own brilliance. Granted, he had no idea if Episcopalians had last rites, but he highly doubted that Anya or Tara did either.

"Oh, well, that's fine," Anya replied, not at all happy, though thankfully her anger was directed at the supposedly-absent minister and not him. "Go off and give last rites to a dead guy that isn't going to care anyway."

"Well, shouldn't take 'im too long to kick it, ducks. Then the minister'll be back here to marry you two in no time." Apparently, he'd succeeded in reassuring her, since she'd decided to go on practicing her vows. As she recited, Spike felt a wave of unexpected sympathy for the ex-demon. He'd been hurt by love before; one could say he was the poster child for rejection. But hearing Anya pouring her heart out for the absent Xander made him wish that it was truly in his power to give her her heart's desire. That, or Harris' head on a plate when she found out what happened.

~~~~~

After that, things got crazy, as they could only on the Hellmouth. Spike's story about the minister didn't hold her there for nearly as long as he might have hoped, leaving he and Tara to follow in her formidable wake as she went off to find the groom. Then, of course, she had to overhear Dawn telling her new friend the real reason that the wedding had stalled. And then Anya had confronted the old man who revealed his true form, allowing Buffy to start whaling on him. In the meantime, Xander had returned, and after helping Buffy kill the demon, he turned to speak to Anya.

Spike could hear every word Xander was saying in this obviously private moment, and he felt her heart break from where he stood twenty feet away. And suddenly he was in a Victorian drawing room, and the woman he loved was telling him he was beneath her. And the words were repeated from the lips of the Slayer. And then she was telling him that the only chance he had with her was when she was unconscious. He focused again on Anya as she walked listlessly up the aisle, completely forlorn.

"Tara," he said urgently, swinging over to where she and Willow had retreated to get out of the way of the melee. "Stay with her." The witch nodded and went after the retreating figure. He looked at Willow. "Red, someone needs to tell these folks that it's over, and it shouldn't be her. Figure that's your job as best m-er woman."

The red head looked at him, a new respect dawning in her eyes. "You're right. I'll make the announcement. Thanks, Spike."

But Spike watched as chaos began to break out around him again, and he couldn't see anything to be thankful for. After all, he'd tried to stop the Whelp, and he'd failed.

~~~~~

Buffy descended the stairs to the basement slowly. She, Dawn, Tara, and Willow had been in complete shock for the last couple hours, not even truly appreciating the fact that they could get out of those horrid dresses. Like victims of a disaster, none of them had really wanted to be alone.

And it really was a disaster. A complete and utter train wreck. Not one of them had seen this coming, and the surprise definitely made it worse. So after the rest of them had finally gone to bed, she went to see the one person she was certain would make it better.

"I'm sorry." They were the first words out of his mouth, and they surprised her. He sat on his bed, the tie gone, barefoot, his shirt unbuttoned. His legs hung off the bed in a way she'd grown used to, but still it was odd. He should have been sprawled, restless, and instead a strange stillness seemed to have come over him in the past months.

"It wasn't your fault," she replied, coming over to sit next to him, not touching. Not yet.

He shook his head. "Saw him goin' off with that bugger, knew he was a demon. Should have gone after him quicker."

"It wasn't your fault," Buffy repeated. "Xander left. Whatever he saw, or thought he saw, he knew what showed it to him, and he still left." She shook her head. "Poor Anya. She just looked so crushed."

"Know that look," he murmured thoughtfully. "Know that feeling."

Buffy knew exactly what he was talking about. She knew about Cecily now, knew about Drusilla. Knew about herself. She reached over and touched his arm, her thumb moving in slow circles. "Me too."

They were silent for a long time after that, until Spike finally broke the silence. "You know D'Hoffryn was there today, right?"

She frowned, unsure as to what difference that was supposed to make for her. "Who?"

"Anya's old boss," he clarified. "She probably won't be human for much longer, pet."

Buffy frowned. "I don't think-" She stopped abruptly, put herself in Anya's shoes. "You're right." She sighed. "I guess we'll have to deal with it when it comes up. We'll just have to be really careful about saying the 'w' word around her until we're sure she's still human. Or not."

They stared off into space, both lost in their own thoughts, their own rememberings. Spike finally took her hand in his own, the one that had rested on his arm. "You should get to bed, luv. You're tired."

Buffy looked into his eyes, wanting to tell him that she wanted to be with him. That there was the distinct possibility that she was coming dangerously close to liking him in a way that very much resembled loving him. Instead, she merely replied, "Yeah. We never got that dance, you know."

"Well, I'll take a rain check on that if you're in the mood to be handin' 'em out, Slayer," he said with a smirk. "Maybe by the time I cash it in, it'll be a real dance."

"Maybe so," she replied, leaning down and giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. "Good night, Spike."

"Good night, luv," he called after her retreating figure. And then he went to sleep, dreaming of the way things might have been in a perfect world.

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