Summary: Set directly after the events of Same Time, Same Place. Buffy realizes that she's probably left Spike in the basement for too long and hauls him out. Her attempts to get the First to stop tormenting him don't go quite as planned, however. Then again, when do spells on the Hellmouth ever work right?
Author's Notes: I may be a minority, but I thought the First was about the lamest villain ever. How do you fight something like that? It's impossible. And besides, it's philosophically and logically insupportable that you'd have the First Evil and not a First Good of some kind. I'd give you the logical argument, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm treating the First as the S3 episode Amends treated the First—like some ghost that could be chased away by some fast talk and the light of day. I'm ignoring the rest of S7 canon pretty much. Oh, and the title is taken from a Christina Rossetti poem I thought was appropriate.
Rating: PG-13
"And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream./Love and pain and work should all sleep, now./The night turns on its invisible wheels,/and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber./No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go ,/ we will go together, over the waters of time./No one else will travel through the shadows with me,/only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon..." Pablo Neruda, Sonnet LXXXI
There was no way Buffy was going to allow William to sleep in the basement after that. It was surprisingly easy to convince him to come upstairs with her, less easy to convince him to share her bed.
"Wouldn't the floor be better?" he asked nervously.
Buffy put on her best resolve face. "What if you start having a nightmare and I have to wake you up? Do you want me to have to keep getting in and out of bed?"
The guilt trip had worked perfectly, and while William had lain stiffly for a while, it wasn't too long before he'd relaxed into sleep.
It was a good thing she'd brought him upstairs, however. Buffy had been woken no less than three times during the night by his thrashing around and whimpering, although she'd managed to wake him before the screaming started.
Sleep had remained elusive for Buffy, though, and she'd dragged herself out of bed and off to the early shift at work the next morning with no energy at all. She didn't often have to work mornings, which was a good thing, but there were times when it couldn't be avoided.
Still, the peaceful expression on William's face as he had slept on had been reward enough. The poor guy really had been through a rough couple of days. Once her shift was over, Buffy headed over to the high school with lunch for Dawn, fully intending on talking the whole thing out.
"Alright, so let's hear it," Dawn challenged once she'd started in on the sandwich Buffy brought.
"Hear what?" her sister responded innocently.
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Come on, Buffy. One day Spike is crazy in the school basement, and the next you bring him home with you. And now suddenly he's William. What am I supposed to think?"
"What do you think?" Buffy asked. "It seemed like you were getting along fine with William."
"I am, and that's not the point—and you know it." Dawn fixed her with a glare. "What changed?"
"It's hard to say," Buffy admitted softly. "He got his soul for me, Dawnie."
"So what?" Dawn shot back. "What good is a soul supposed to be? Plenty of people do really bad things with a soul."
Buffy frowned, recognizing the truth of that argument. "Spike thought it would make him a better man," she finally said. "Whether or not it did is a different story, I guess."
"But what Xander said—" Dawn began.
"Xander doesn't know the whole story," Buffy interrupted. "Yes, Spike hurt me, but—it's hard to explain. I used him last year, Dawn, and we hurt each other." It was the first time she'd admitted it out loud to anyone other than Spike, who had already known. "That evening he came over to apologize, and I wasn't listening. He wanted to know why I kept Xander from killing him after—after Anya, and I wouldn't tell him. Spike just wanted me to admit I felt something."
"So he tried to rape you," Dawn said flatly.
Buffy sighed. "Something like that. I don't think that's what he wanted, Dawnie. And like I said, we both hurt each other. What Spike did—or tried to do—wasn't really even the worst."
Dawn was fairly sure she didn't want to know what the worst thing was. "Now you've forgiven him?"
"Why not?" Buffy asked. "It's not like any of us have a right to point our fingers at Spike. We've all done really stupid things, sometimes really bad things, and have hurt the people we cared about. If I decided not to forgive Spike, what right would I have to ask him to forgive me for all the horrible things I did to him?"
"You love him," Dawn said wonderingly. Once upon a time, it had been her dearest wish. Now she wasn't quite sure what to think. "Buffy, what if things go bad again?"
"They won't," her sister replied. "We're both in a different place now. Spike much more literally than me."
Dawn laughed. "I really like William," she confessed. "It's hard to stay mad at him, and then it's really easy to see Spike. You know what I mean?"
"I know exactly what you mean," Buffy replied. "I've got to get home. I think I'm going to take a nap, because I'm exhausted."
"You're getting old," Dawn teased.
Buffy gave her sister a dirty look. "Looking after you is aging me prematurely."
"Whatever!" Dawn called after Buffy's retreating back, laughing a little. It was good to know that her sister wasn't going off the deep end. With Buffy's assurances, Dawn understood a little better that this wasn't some sort of Stockholm syndrome, or another case of Buffy living in the land of denial.
This was real. It made Dawn believe that maybe things would work out between them after all.
She finished up her sandwich, picking up her trash to throw it away, and she saw him. He was out on the field, squirting water into his mouth and all over his face. He was the quarterback.
And he was a god.
~~~~~
William was still napping when Buffy got home, and she crawled into the bed next to him, feeling him stir slightly. "Buffy?"
"I'm just going to take a nap," she murmured. "You don't have to stay in bed if you don't want."
William simply moved closer to her. "Don't want to get up," he mumbled. "'s nicer here with you, Slayer."
Buffy stiffened. He sounded like Spike. "William?"
"Yes?" he asked, his voice already heading back towards sleep.
Buffy blinked, realizing that he didn't know how he sounded, but that he was half-conscious. Was Spike coming back? Would he gradually replace William?
Or would it be a replacement? Maybe it would be more of a melding. She worried over the idea until sleep took her as well.
When she woke several hours later, it was to the growling of her stomach. She rolled over and found her nose an inch away from a muscular thigh. Buffy's eyes shot up to see William sitting up, reading a book. "Good afternoon," he said easily.
"How long have you been awake?" she asked, sitting up slowly.
William shrugged. "For a while," he admitted. "Dawn lent me a few books, and it is comfortable in here." He brushed her hair out of her face. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all," she quickly assured him. "I just thought you might bolt."
"Perhaps I should have," he agreed. "I couldn't bring myself to leave you, however."
Buffy suddenly made a face, realizing that she hadn't even gotten cleaned up before hitting the sheets. "I probably look horrible. I'm going to go shower, and then what would you say to hitting the mall?"
"If you like," William replied, not sounding very enthusiastic.
Buffy grinned at him. "It'll be fun, I promise. Besides, if we decide to hit the Bronze anytime soon, you'll need something to wear."
She had dashed out the door before William could inquire what exactly "the Bronze" might be, but he didn't think it would do him any good if he knew. Buffy was nothing if not persistent, and he had the feeling that she would insist upon his going with her. She seemed to have this desire to include him in her life, no matter how difficult a fit it seemed to be.
~~~~~
Gone were the days when Buffy could spend a fortune on clothes and shoes, but she had learned a few tricks. There were stores where you could get decent looking clothes for a fraction of the price of the name-brand shops. William was literally putty in her hands. Every time he looked doubtful about one of her choices, all she had to do was ask, "Don't you trust me?"
When they finally got back home, they had several bags, and William had enough clothing to last him a few days at the very least. "This is really terribly generous of you," he said. "You know you didn't have to purchase so many things for me."
"Yes, I did," Buffy replied quickly. "The stuff you had doesn't suit you. Besides, I think a lot of your clothing got blown up with the crypt. Clem managed to salvage some things, but not a ton."
"Wait," William stopped her. "Blown up?" His voice squeaked a little on the last word.
Buffy tried to hide a grin. "Yeah, we had to. There was an infestation, and that was the only way to get rid of it. You were in Africa at the time, so it wasn't like you could do anything about it."
William noted that she hadn't been nearly as careful to distinguish between him and his alter ego lately. "I shall have to avoid going to Africa in the future then, if that's what happens while I am away."
"Please do," Buffy said, her words teasing, but her tone serious.
William tilted his head. "I am not certain I could leave you," he confessed softly. "Buffy, should Spike return—"
"I told you, you're the same man," Buffy replied. "I promise that you aren't going anywhere."
He decided to believe her, having no other choice. "Very well."
"Hey guys!" Dawn said, her voice perky.
Buffy gave William a smile and then followed her sister into the kitchen. "How was the rest of school today?"
"It was great!" Dawn replied.
Buffy's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Dawn was never this cheerful. "What happened?"
"Nothing." There was a giggle. "Well, it's just that I met the most perfect guy ever!"
Buffy's eyebrows went up, and she glanced over at William who was glowering like a thundercloud. She stifled a smile. Apparently, the protective streak was something else he and Spike had in common. "What's his name?"
"R.J.," Dawn said blithely. "He's only the hottest, smartest, fastest, sweetest guy on the face of the planet."
William cleared his throat. "What are his intentions?"
"Intentions?" Dawn asked blankly. "I don't know. Does it matter? He's perfect."
She almost danced out of the room, leaving William frowning after her. "Buffy, I really do not think—"
"Let's go, Mr. Overprotective," Buffy teased. "Trust me. She'll be fine."
Talk about famous last words.
~~~~~
When Buffy got home the next day, it was to find Willow and Xander standing in the living room, William in a corner. The vampire looked like he wanted out badly, but for some reason was holding his ground. "What's going on?" she asked flatly. "Xander, did you—"
"I didn't do anything!" he protested. "We got done at the site early, and I was coming to hang out with Willow ."
Buffy's eyes went to her friend. " Willow ?"
The witch sighed. "Really, Buffy, everything is okay. Dawn's just—a little upset."
"She's hysterical," William said. "She will not speak to us, but it has something to do with that young man."
Buffy could hear the barely restrained anger in his voice. "Okay, where is she?"
"She locked herself in her room," Willow explained.
Buffy sighed. "I'll go see what I can do." She fixed Xander with a glare. "I think you have something to say to William if you haven't already."
She marched up the stairs, leaving a silent room behind her. Willow backed off, silently indicating that she wasn't going to get in the middle. William and Xander looked at each other with William breaking off eye contact first. "You were speaking the truth," he said. "There is nothing to apologize for."
Absurdly, William's quiet admission simply heightened the guilt factor. "I wasn't thinking," he acknowledged. "I do that a lot."
"You were upset." Now William did manage to meet his eyes again. "You love her."
Somehow Xander thought that William understood the kind of pain a man will go through for love. He had never believed that Spike loved Buffy, not even after he'd stayed all that summer and helped them fight evil. When he'd come back with his soul, it cast the shadow of a doubt onto his thinking.
In William's eyes, Xander saw the soul of a poet, and he finally understood. It was the same expression he'd seen on Spike's face on occasion—the same love, the same longing.
Spike really had loved Buffy. Who knew?
"Yeah, I do," Xander said quietly. The tension in the room had dissipated.
"Get out!"
The shriek came from upstairs, and William went to follow it, but Xander stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Trust me, this isn't something you want to get in the middle of," he said. "Buffy can handle it."
There were more sounds from upstairs, and then Buffy came storming down. "Dawn shredded my cheerleader uniform!" she exploded. "Shredded it!"
Willow and Xander exchanged looks. "I'm sure Dawn had a reason, Buffy," Willow said soothingly.
"The reason's name is R.J.," Buffy seethed. "What has gotten into her? Dawn has never been this crazy over a guy before! She just noticed him yesterday, and suddenly he's worthy of shredding my cheerleading uniform?"
"To be fair, Buf, Dawn did make it sound like she made a pretty big fool out of herself." Xander's tone was placating, but he was soon backing off when the Slayer glared at him. "Obviously, she had no right to touch your stuff."
Buffy shook her head. "No, she didn't, but there's no point in trying to talk to her tonight. Hopefully, she'll be feeling more like herself tomorrow."
"Are we still Bronzing it tomorrow?" Willow asked hopefully. "We haven't done that in forever." She glanced over at William. "You're coming too, right?"
"Eh, yes?" It was a question more than an answer, and it caused Buffy to roll her eyes at him.
"Of course you're coming, you big doof." She shook her head. "Okay, I have to patrol." The Slayer glanced over at Xander and Willow . "Are you guys staying here?"
"I didn't have any plans on leaving," Willow said, elbowing Xander when he opened his mouth to remind her that they had planned on going to the movies. The witch knew that Buffy didn't want to leave William alone for fear the First would manage to get to him again. "I thought we could just hang out here with William."
William tried not to look too grateful. "Please do not feel obligated to stay."
Even Xander couldn't say no after that. "No, it'll be nice to stay in." He flopped down on the couch. "What's on tonight anyway?"
~~~~~
The Bronze was nothing like what William was expecting. It was noisy, filled with people who seemed intent on jostling one another with a frenetic energy he couldn't understand. Although there was nothing to set him apart from the crowd, he still felt as though he had a large target painted on his chest. As though everyone would know how much he didn't fit.
Not that anything had changed much in a hundred years or more.
Buffy kept tight hold of his hand as she led him to the table where Xander and Willow were already sitting. "Anya's going to be joining us," she warned them.
"What? Why?" Xander blurted out, thinking he would have put on a nicer shirt if he'd known.
Buffy made a face. "D'Hoffryn's apparently called vengeance on her. I stopped a demon from eating her this afternoon. It's probably better if she sticks close to us for a while."
"Probably," Willow said wryly. "D'Hoffryn can be really persistent."
"Tell me about it," Anya said, appearing from out of the crowd to sit in the empty seat they'd saved for her. "He really doesn't like it when people quit." She glanced over at William with interest. "I see you did the spell. How's that going for you, Spike?"
William glanced away. "It's William," he muttered.
"I see," Anya said, lifting an eyebrow. "Isn't that an interesting turn of events?"
Willow decided to rescue him from Anya's sharp gaze. "So what's this about having to go to the school today, Buffy?" she asked. She had been the one to take the phone call from the principal and had given them the number for Buffy's work. They hadn't had a chance to talk about it yet, and she was insanely curious.
Buffy sighed. "I honestly don't know, Willow. One of the football players accused Dawn of shoving him down the stairs, but she insists that he tripped and fell. Apparently he's lied about other things before, so the principal was inclined to believe Dawn."
"And you don't?" Xander asked, picking up on the doubt in her voice.
Buffy shrugged. "This R.J. was somehow involved. I really don't understand it. This just isn't like Dawn to get all googly eyed over some boy."
"Oh, wow."
Xander's breathy exclamation had all heads turning to see what he was staring at. A shapely young girl was dancing erotically with a boy about her own age. "Roll your tongue in, Xander," Anya said sharply.
"Ought she to be dancing like that with a young man?" William asked doubtfully. There was something familiar about the young woman.
"Probably not, but—oh, boy," Xander said. "Daddy like."
Then she turned around.
"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed. William was out of her seat and heading in her direction before she could stop him. She couldn't help but notice that he was walking like Spike, all the characteristic hesitation in his movements completely gone.
Xander and Willow wore identical horror-struck expressions. "I didn't mean—not daddy. Forget the daddy comment."
Willow grimaced. "Right there with you."
Buffy had risen to go after William, who looked like he was about to embarrass Dawn. Not that her sister didn't deserve a little embarrassment on some level.
William had actually grabbed her arm and was pulling her off the dance floor. "Let go of me!" Dawn protested.
"I think not!" he replied. "You are behaving in a shameful manner!"
Dawn pulled her arm out of his grip. "You're not my father or my brother, so don't think you can boss me around."
"Dawn, that's enough," Buffy said, getting in between them. "William's right."
"What?" she gasped. "You have no right, Buffy."
Buffy glared at her sister. "Excuse me? First of all, you lied to me. You said you were going to the library with Janice tonight. Second of all, what are you wearing? You look like a slut."
"R.J. thinks I look hot," Dawn shot back smugly.
William's eyes glowed yellow, the first time Buffy had seen any sign at all of his vampire face. "I'll rip his throat out," he growled.
Buffy was torn between stopping him and crowing over the fact that bits and pieces of Spike were seeping through. "No, you won't, sweetie. We are going home, though."
"You aren't my mother," Dawn said. "You can't force me."
Buffy stared at her. "No, I'm not mom, but I don't think she'd appreciate the way you're acting either." Dawn looked like she'd been slapped. "Dawn, I'm sorry, it's just—"
"You're jealous," Dawn accused. "You're jealous that I've finally got all the attention. You were always the one with the fan club, and now I have a hot guy panting after me."
Buffy stared at her. "That's not it at all!"
Dawn huffed. "Yeah, right." She turned to go back out on the dance floor, but Buffy blocked her way.
"There's no way you're going back out there," Buffy said. "You're acting crazy."
Dawn grabbed her coat and stormed off. William looked like he was still tempted to do some damage to R.J. "Come on, William," she said, grabbing his arm and waving goodbye to the others. Xander was still looking a little shell-shocked.
They were just in time to stop Dawn from getting into a chick fight with a cheerleader. The girl rushed off, screaming threats at Dawn, and Buffy shook her head. "I really don't get what's up with this guy."
~~~~~
William decided that he enjoyed the peace and quiet of an empty house. There had been yet more hysterics once they'd returned from the Bronze. Dawn had been angry with both of them for embarrassing her in front of her friends.
He was reading when Xander came rushing inside, dragging Buffy and a sobbing Dawn behind him. "William, we have a problem."
William blinked. "What's wrong?"
"Dawn's just upset that R.J. is in love with me," Buffy said calmly. "She doesn't understand that a lot of men are attracted to older women."
"What?" William asked. Something was definitely wrong here. "Xander?"
He shook his head. "It has to be a spell. I found Dawn outside the school crying, and Buffy was inside—" Xander stopped. He still wasn't sure why Buffy had been at the school. The only thing he could think of was that she had gone to tell R.J. to lay off Dawn, and then had been hit with some sort of whammy. That could be the only reason that he'd found Buffy straddling a teenager inside an empty classroom. Major ick factor there.
William looked from Buffy to Dawn and then at Xander. "What would you like me to do?"
Xander ran a hand through his hair. Buffy was usually the one to take charge in a situation like this. For one wild moment, he wished desperately for Spike, but he soon shoved the thought aside. "I'm going to call Willow and Anya," he said. "They can stay here and look after Buffy and Dawn while we do some reconnaissance."
"Re— pardon me?" William asked, not sure what help Xander thought he might be.
Xander sighed. "We went to high school with R.J.'s older brother. I thought maybe we could dig around, find out what's so special about this kid. I want backup because the guy's a creep. He used to put gum in my hair."
William's eyes went huge. "You want me to what?"
"Just look menacing," Xander said comfortingly. "You can still do that, right?" When William didn't reply right away, he got an idea. "Just think about R.J. putting his hands all over Dawn—and Buffy."
That got the reaction he wanted. William's eyes glittered in fury. "He had his hands on Buffy?"
"Down, boy," Xander cautioned, amused in spite of himself. "Just keep that look on your face, and we'll be fine."
~~~~~
Well, fine was an interesting way to put it. Once they'd figured out that it was the jacket that was causing all the trouble, Xander and William headed back to Revello Drive . While there had been no need of backup, Xander had realized that William wasn't so bad to have around. In fact, he almost liked the guy. William reminded him of Willow a little, back when they were in high school.
If that had been all there was to it, there would have been no problem. Instead, it appeared that R.J. had come over while they were out, infecting both Willow and Anya. Xander just managed to keep Willow from completing the spell to turn R.J. into a woman, and then it was off to find Buffy.
The trouble was convincing William that he was the one to prevent Buffy from blowing up the principal with a bazooka. "I cannot hit a lady! It's unseemly!"
Xander sighed. "It's either you stopping her, or us visiting her on Saturdays at the State Penitentiary when they lock her up for murder."
"Why me?" William asked.
Xander looked at him. "You might not feel like it, but you are a vampire, William. And you've given Buffy a run for her money before." He patted him on the shoulder. "You'll do just fine."
William hadn't really had to push himself, not since the night out with Buffy when they'd run into the vampires in the cemetery. Tackling Buffy was oddly exhilirating, however. He had this strange sense of déjà vu, as though he had done this before—tackled her onto the grass, rolling around.
William was fairly certain that a bazooka hadn't entered into it, however. After managing to distract Buffy with the need to find Dawn, the Slayer managed to pull her sister off the train tracks just before she got run over. Then it was time to run all the girls home before Xander and William went after R.J.'s coat.
"You understand the plan?" Xander asked.
William gave him a wry look. "There isn't much to it, is there?"
Xander found himself grinning. "No, I guess not. Ready?"
They dashed out of their hiding place, Xander grabbing R.J. and hanging on tight while William stripped him of his jacket. They ran, laughing like boys who had just managed to pull a prank. Stopping a few blocks away to let Xander catch his breath, their eyes met and understanding passed between them. "What shall we do with this?"
Xander stared at the jacket. "Burn it, I guess."
"Do you ever wish—" William broke the question off before it was completed.
Xander knew what he was going to ask anyway. "It wouldn't be right."
"No, it would not. It wouldn't be real love anyway," he murmured.
The other man hesitated and then took a deep breath. "This was just a spell, you get that, right?" he asked. "I mean, she really does care about you."
"Does she care for me, or does she care for Spike?" William asked. "I don't know that either of us are sure."
Xander wasn't sure what to say to that. In some small way he could relate. It would be like Anya preferring one half of him over the other when he got split. It was a highly uncomfortable idea. "Let's get out of here," he suggested, changing the subject. "We'd better burn that coat before any of the girls does something stupid. Again."
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