Avocation by Enigmaticblue

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Chapters 31-35

Chapter 31

"I thought I was dying, I felt the cold up close/and knew that from all my life I left only you behind:/my earthly day and night were your mouth,/your skin the republic my kisses founded./In that instant the books stopped,/and friendship, treasures restlessly amassed,/the transparent house that you and I built:/everything dropped away, except your eyes./Because while life harasses us, love is/only a wave taller than the other waves:/but oh, when death comes knocking at the gate,/there is only your glance against so much emptiness,/only your light against extinction,/only your love to shut out the shadows." ~Pablo Neruda, "Sonnet XC"

Buffy wasn't quite certain why she felt it necessary to follow Spike home. Maybe it was knowing that Faith was planning something. Maybe it was some Slayer sense. Or maybe it was a combination of the two, knowing that the Mayor most likely had the Books of Ascension and that now would probably be a good time for him to come after Spike.

Whatever the reason, Buffy managed to tackle Faith just as she was bringing the weapon down, causing the other girl's aim to go wide, the stake embedding itself harmlessly into Spike's arm.

Well, not harmlessly , but at least he wasn't dust.

Buffy grappled with the other Slayer, both of them rolling around on the ground, struggling to get the upper hand. For a moment, it appeared as though Faith would be the winner, since she managed to get on top, her hands around Buffy's neck.

Buffy saw a shadow fall across both of them, and then Faith's body collapsed on top of her. "Better get her inside," Spike said, tucking the blackjack back in his pocket. "The sun's going to be up in about two minutes."

Even with blood dripping off his hand, Spike appeared perfectly calm. Like he hadn't come face to face with his permanent demise. Buffy didn't know how he did it because she was shaking like a leaf.

Between the two of them they managed to get Faith inside Spike's townhouse with a minimum of fuss, and then Buffy stood watch over her while Spike got a set of chains.

Buffy decided she didn't want to know if he'd gotten them specifically for Faith, or if there was another reason to keep them around.

Spike put the manacles on the rogue Slayer with all the practice of a professional. "Better call Rupert. I'll get this arm taken care of."

"I'll take care of your arm while you call Giles," Buffy corrected him. Spike looked like he was about to protest, and she held up a hand. "Please, Spike. She almost killed you."

Spike held her gaze, his look measuring. "Alright."

Buffy bandaged his arm while he talked to the Watcher, informing him that now that Faith had made the attempt to remove his soul, they needed to do the truth spell as soon as possible. Once he'd hung up, Buffy spoke. "That was way too close."

"It was a bit," he agreed evenly. "I'd have been alright, Buffy."

She took a step back. "Spike, she nearly staked you! If I hadn't been there—"

"I'd have managed," Spike interrupted. "It's not the first time I've been in a life or death situation, luv."

"Don't you get it?" she demanded. "Don't you know what it would do to me to lose you?"

Spike just smiled. "You're not going to lose me, Buffy. I made a promise."

She scowled at him. "And you nearly bought it!"

He could smell the fear on her, and it warmed him to know that she was so concerned. "But I didn't."

Buffy was still glaring at him. "Don't do that again."

"Give it my best shot," Spike promised.

She closed her eyes. "Okay."

"Hey now," Spike said, touching her cheek, waiting for Buffy to open her eyes. "I'm alright. No harm done. We'll do the spell on Faith, get a bead on the Mayor, and then we'll take him down. Piece of cake, right?"

Buffy's eyes narrowed. "Don't say things like that," she ordered. "You'll jinx us."

~~~~~

When Giles showed up with a bag of magic supplies, Wesley was close on his heels. "What is he doing here?" Buffy asked, eyeing her Watcher with distaste.

"I didn't have a choice," Giles replied. "He was there when Spike called."

Wesley drew himself up. "I do have some experience with the black arts, Miss Summers."

She snorted. "Right."

"It's alright, Buffy," Spike said quietly, eyeing the young man. "We'll let him take a shot. Wes screws up, I can always eat him."

Wesley's gulping was audible.

"I hardly think that will be necessary," Giles said, his lips twitching suspiciously. "The truth spell only takes one person to perform it."

" You done this before?" Spike asked Giles.

The older Watcher shook his head. "No, but—"

"I have."

All three of them turned to look at Wesley, who had the grace to look embarrassed. "I did graduate at the top of my class," he muttered. "So you needn't look so surprised."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Okay, you're on. But if you screw this one up, we'll release Faith and lock you two in a room together." She marched back into the living room where the other Slayer was just beginning to come around.

Spike clapped him on the shoulder, smirking at him. "Good luck, mate."

Giles just raised his eyebrows. "You can still leave."

"No, I can do this," Wesley replied, squaring his shoulders. "At least, I want to try."

"You'll need to do better than that," Giles replied.

~~~~~

Wesley was trying very hard not to let anyone see his hands shake. The way Faith was staring at him, you'd think she was trying to cut him down with her glare alone. When he had insisted on accompanying Giles, it had merely been because he'd felt as though they were all cutting him out of the loop, as though he wasn't capable of contributing anything.

He really did want to contribute something.

This was something he'd always excelled at, however—magic. Not that he had a great deal of power, of course. Wesley knew himself well enough to know that he would never make a great wizard, but he did have a very focused will, and a small amount of talent.

In other words, he had what it took to force Faith to tell the truth, to give them important information about the Mayor's plans. He had a chance to make a difference.

If he didn't end up losing the contents of his stomach first.

Mixing the spell components was simple enough; it called for accuracy and nothing more. The words themselves were fairly simple, too, calling for the enemy's tongue to be bound. When Wesley spoke the final words, he cast a handful of the powder over Faith, who sneezed and continued to glare at him.

"Is that it?" Buffy asked. "Are you sure it worked?"

Wesley took a deep breath. "Why don't you ask Faith a question she would normally lie about?"

"Are you working for the Mayor, Faith?" Spike asked.

The dark-haired Slayer appeared to struggle with herself, her mouth twisting with the effort not to respond. "Yes!" she finally spat out, glaring at him.

"Think it's working, pet." Spike stood, walking over to stand close to her. "Then why don't you tell us what the Mayor is planning."

Faith struggled against the magical coercion, finally saying, "He's going to Ascend."

"What does that mean?" Giles asked.

"It means he'll be powerful enough to rule Sunnydale," Faith replied, snarling. "And the first thing he'll do is make sure you all die."

"How novel," Buffy commented. "Another bad guy who wants to kill me." She faced Faith. "When?"

Faith struggled again, finally saying, "Graduation Day."

They grilled her for another hour, asking endless variations of the same questions, trying to get more details, but that was essentially all the information they received. Faith didn't know much about the Mayor's long term plans, only that he would be powerful enough to rule Sunnydale, and that the means to take power was the Ascension, set to take place on Graduation Day.

Of course, what they hadn't really talked about was what they were going to do with the rogue Slayer once they had the desired information.

"We can't turn her over to the police," Buffy said, during their whispered conference in the kitchen. "They won't be able to hold her."

"Nor the Council, I'm sorry to say," Wesley admitted. "Last time—"

"Last time they botched the job completely," Giles interrupted. "What would you suggest, Spike?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm torn."

Buffy stared at him. "You aren't thinking—"

"Thought about it and decided against it," he assured her. "It did enter my head, though."

Wesley frowned. "What—oh. You were thinking about killing her."

"Shh!" Buffy warned him. "Keep your voice down." She looked at Giles. "Any other options?"

Giles shook his head. "We could keep her chained up somewhere, but I hardly think that's a feasible solution. There would have to be someone there to guard her at all times, and I don't think we can spare the two of you." Buffy and Spike nodded, knowing that he was referring to the fact that of all of them, they were the only ones with a shot at controlling Faith if she was to get loose.

"She can stay here for a couple of days," Spike finally said. "We can keep her that long."

Buffy moved slightly so that she could see where Faith was sitting from the kitchen, just to check on her. The sight before her eyes did not make her happy. "I don't think that's going to be a problem."

Spike moved behind her, cursing. "Bloody hell. I checked those chains!"

"She's a Slayer," Buffy said quietly. "We get the job done, whatever that happens to be."

~~~~~

"Well, this is all most unfortunate," the Mayor said.

"I tried to fight the spell!" Faith protested.

Mayor Wilkins waved off her excuses. "Oh, I'm sure you did your best, Faith. Truth spells are impossible to fight unless you've specifically warded against them." He shrugged. "It's no matter. They don't know enough to pose a threat to my plans."

Faith frowned. "Are you sure? I could kill them for you."

The Mayor smiled at her enthusiasm. "I'm sure you could, but let's put that off for right now. There'll be time enough for killing later." He frowned. "I'll have to think about something to do with that vampire, though. He's proving to be a bit more trouble than I'd anticipated."

"His soul should have been gone," Faith muttered.

"No doubt," Mayor Wilkins agreed. "That mage certainly didn't do the job I'd hired him for. Unfortunately, there's no way to get my money back." He paused. "Or my sacrifices back. No, that plan is a bust, but I've got others." He smiled at her. "So don't you worry your pretty little head, Faith. They might be able to anticipate my Ascension, but they certainly won't be able to stop it. And anticipation just makes the event that much better, you know."

~~~~~

"We need to know more about the Mayor."

It was a rather obvious statement given that they knew next to nothing about the man himself, and the great threat he posed to Sunnydale. Of course, no one really expected anything different from Wesley.

"What about the computer files?" Giles asked Willow . "Did you find anything there?"

Willow shook her head. "No. By the time I got through the encryptions, they were all empty. I'm guessing that Faith told him I was coming."

"We could break into the Mayor's office," Buffy suggested.

Spike shook his head. "Far be it from me to be the voice of caution, but I think we ought to save B&E for dire circumstances. We get caught in there..." He trailed off.

Giles nodded. "I'm going to have to agree with Spike," he said, looking at Buffy. "The risk is too great at the moment. We'll save that for when we really need the information."

"What about the Hall of Records?" Oz asked. "Go straight to the source."

"That's a good idea," Wesley commented. "I imagine there ought to be plenty of information there."

Giles nodded. "Wesley, why don't you take a group to the Hall of Records?"

"I'm with Wesley's group," Cordelia chimed in.

Buffy and Spike exchanged looks. "There's just the one group, Cordelia," Giles said dryly.

"You need us for that?" Spike asked. "I'm not sure Buffy and me will be of as much use."

Buffy nodded, appreciating the opportunity to get out of research, never her favorite task. "I'm thinking that we should patrol. Make sure things stay quiet."

Giles eyed them suspiciously. He suspected that they probably wanted to spend some time together. Spike spoke up before the older Watcher could say anything. "Might be a better idea to do some research of our own," he pointed out. "If the Mayor was using Trick, he might have other demonic resources."

Giles pursed his lips. "That's not a bad idea."

"I'm sure the Slayer is more suited to that sort of research," Wesley said. "Why don't you accompany her, Spike?"

They both stared at him, knowing that Wesley was repeating what they had just said in order to make it sound like the suggestion came from him rather than from Giles.

"Right," Spike said. "We'll do that then." He rolled his eyes, offering Buffy his hand, which she took gracefully. "See you lot later then."

Buffy waited until they were outside before saying, "Thank you. If I had to spend the night looking over dusty old books..."

"Not your thing, luv," Spike replied. "I get that. Not really my cup of tea either."

"So did you mean what you said about looking for the Mayor's contacts?"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You got a better idea?"

Buffy smiled. "Well, maybe not a better idea, but definitely an idea for later. What would you say to a movie?"

~~~~~

"The Mayor is really a bad guy?" Joyce asked. "He always seemed like such a nice man."

"A nice man who has been around since at least the turn of the century," Giles commented. Joyce was tucked up next to him, and he was idly playing with her hair. "The more we learn about Mayor Wilkins, the more concerned I become. We know next to nothing about this Ascension."

Joyce caught his free hand with one of her own. "But you'll figure it out."

"Perhaps." Giles didn't sound very certain. "I very much fear that we've gone too long without stopping him. There may be no way to prevent the Ascension from occurring."

"I doubt that," Joyce said. "Between you and Buffy and Spike, you ought to be able to come up with something."

Giles tilted his head down. "Does Buffy know you're out?"

"She thinks I'm working late," Joyce replied. "That is, if she's been home to see my note. Buffy's with Spike so much of the time these days that I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't gotten home yet." Seeing the expression on Giles' face, Joyce smiled. "And, no, I don't mind. Spike is a good man, and I trust that he'll keep Buffy safe."

"Even though he's a vampire?"

Joyce shook her head. "You know, with Spike that doesn't seem to be as much of a factor. He's—"

"He's very human," Giles said, providing the words. "I remember hearing stories about him when I was in the Watcher's Academy. He was something of a legend. No one believed that he really existed, of course, but I think we all wished he was real. We were like children who wanted to believe in Santa Claus."

"And now that he's real?" Joyce asked, knowing that all-too-often real life turned beloved legend into disappointment.

A far-away light entered Giles' eyes. "Now? I feel as though I'm living out history. It's a rather heady experience, I must admit."

~~~~~

"You sure your mum won't mind?" Spike asked as they entered the house.

Buffy shook her head. "No, if she's even home. Mom's been working late a lot lately."

Spike had to fight back a smile. He had a feeling that Joyce wasn't at the gallery tonight, but rather was keeping Rupert company . When he had called in to let the Watcher know that they'd been successful at disposing of some of the Mayor's vampire contacts, and that they were safe, he'd heard a soft, feminine voice in the background.

He just hoped that he wouldn't be the one to inadvertently reveal the secret. Spike would hate to see Buffy's reaction if she ever found out that he knew her Watcher and her mum were spending their nights together.

Of course, technically he didn't know. He only suspected.

"So what are we watching?" he asked.

Buffy grinned. "Well, since you're old, I thought we could raid Mom's collection of black and white flicks."

"I am not old!" Spike protested. "I'll have you know that vampires don't age a day after they've been turned."

Buffy's expression turned thoughtful. "How old were you?"

Spike hesitated, uncertain that he wanted to go down this road tonight. "Twenty six," he finally admitted.

"Really?" She frowned, now doubly curious. "What did you do?"

He tried to distract her with the movie. "You know, we should start the show before—"

"Talking is also part of a date," Buffy said. "Unless you don't want to tell me."

The hint of a pout was enough to have Spike acquiescing, however ungraciously. "I was a gentleman," he replied. " Which means I did a bloody lot of nothing. "

"Oh." Buffy looked impressed. "Does that mean you were ind ependently wealthy?"

"Not rich, but we were well enough off," Spike corrected her.

"Did you have family?"

"I had a mum."

The tone of Spike's voice told Buffy that the subject was closed for the evening. "I guess it's a good thing that Mom likes you so much then," she commented. "You get a girlfriend and a mom for the price of one."

Spike's face softened. "Yeah. I like your mum."

"That's good, because I like you."

Spike kissed her, and Buffy nev er wanted it to end. In fact, it probably wouldn't have ended—or it would have been carried out to its logical conclusion—except for the sound of the front door opening and closing. They broke apart just in time to regain a decorous distance from one another.

"Oh, good, Buffy. You're home," Joyce said. Although she did like Spike, she was less than thrilled to see him, mostly because he had that knowing light in his eyes again. "Did you guys have a good night?"

"We did," Buffy replied, biting back a sigh. She apologized to Spike with her eyes. "I should probably get to bed."

"I have to be getting home," he replied, giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. "'Night, Buffy. ' Night, Joyce," he said, giving the older woman a respectful nod as he went out the door.

Joyce waited until Spike was well out of earshot before she spoke. "Would you do me a favor?"

Buffy gave her mom a wary look. "What's that?"

"Please don't tell me anything I don't want to know." Joyce kissed her daughter on the forehead. "There are times when ignorance is definitely bliss."

Buffy couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. "Will do."

Chapter 32

"The Rose is/Weeping for her love ,/ The nightingale./And he is flying/Fast above,/To her he will/Not fail./Already golden/Eve appears;/He wings his way along;/Ah! Look he comes/To kiss her tears ,/ And soothe her/With his song." Philip James Bailey, "Helen's Song"

Spike might have known what kind of demon she was fighting; it was hard to say. The vampire certainly had a vast knowledge of such things. Still, it was just as possible that he would have been as ignorant as Buffy.

One demon down and one more left to go, and the second ran off before Buffy could do anything about it. She sighed. Buffy had no idea where Spike was. He'd said that he had an errand to run before he could meet her. The Slayer had gotten the bright idea of doing a quick sweep so they could spend more time alone together without having to worry about a demon jumping out of the bushes.

Of course, living on the Hellmouth meant that there was no shortage of either vampires or demons. They would probably nev er come to the end of the supply.

"Such a heavy sigh, luv," Spike teased, emerging from the darkness, just one more shadow. Buffy would nev er figure out how he managed to appear like that. If she hadn't known better, the Sla yer would have sworn it was magic.

She managed a smile for him. "I was just wondering where you were."

"Here, now," he replied, holding up his keychain. Buffy saw the compass charm and her smile became a little more genuine. She was still wearing the bracelet he'd given her. "What's up?"

"Do you want to come to the Bronze with me?" she asked hopefully. "Everyone was going, but with patrol..."

Spike looked behind her to see the dead demon on the picnic table. "Reckon he won't be a threat. What about the second?"

Buffy frowned. "You were here the whole time, and you didn't lend a hand?"

"Just got here," he assured her. "Right after the second ran off and as you were killing that one."

Buffy decided that she could let him off the hook—this time. " Oka y. So, Bronze?"

"You going to let me say no?" he asked, although he sounded amused and resigned rather than annoyed.

Buffy belatedly realized that as a vampire who had been around for a century or more, Spike might not appreciate being dragged to what was essentially a teen hangout. "We don't have to go," she assured him. "We could do something else that you want to do."

"Buffy—"

" It's fine," she went on, thinking that he was going to protest. "Really. I didn't even ask what—"

"The Bronze is fine." Spike tilted his head. "I don't have anywhere better to be."

She frowned. "You really don't mind?"

"We'll be together, yeah?" Spike asked easily. "Doesn't much matter what we're doing."

She reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, but you might not even like the Bronze. I know it's mostly teenagers there, so we could go somewhere else."

"Let's go to the Bronze," Spike replied. "Oz is playing tonight, right? I don't mind his band so much."

They started heading off in that direction. "What kind of errand did you have to run?"

"Had to see a guy," Spike replied vaguely. "Thought he might know a bit more about our Mayor, but he hadn't a bloody clue. I've got a couple other informants, though. We'll see what they come up with."

"When did you get informants?" Buffy asked, disbelieving.

Spike just gave her an inscrutable look. "It's one of the first things I do when I get to a town, especially if I'm going to be staying any length of time. Don't always use them, but I make sure I know who has information I might want. That's how I knew about Sla yerFest."

Buffy was silent, wondering again about the differences in the way they did things. About the only snitch she had was Willy, and that information was spotty at best. It was hard to know whether or not he was trying to double-cross her.

She had the feeling that Spike didn't have that problem. His informants were probably too scared of him to even contemplate a betrayal.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Just thinking about having informants." She was quiet for a minute. "Or not having informants. I hadn't even thought about doing something like that."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "I've been doing this for a living for a lot longer than you, pet."

"I know, it's just—" Buffy broke off. Sometimes Spike was just so hard to read. She wis hed she knew what he was thinking sometimes, and if he really was happy with her.

There were times when Buffy was certain that there was no way he could be content staying here in Sunnydale, not when he'd traveled around the world. That there was no way he could be content with her, not when he'd had his pick of women.

It certainly would have been nice to be a mind reader.

~~~~~

Xander watched the cheerleaders with a deep sense of bitterness. A few mont hs ago, he could have watched Cordelia in her short skirt with pride because she would have been his. Now he watched knowing that he had no greater claim on her than anyone else. It galle d.

What was worse was knowing that Cordelia had her eyes on Wesley, and the Watcher apparently had his eyes on her.

"Look at him," Xander muttered, catching sight of Wesley on the stairs. He was watching the pep rally avidly, although the expression on his face was one of discomfort, not excitement. "He's got his filthy Pierce Brosnany eyes all over her."

Oz glanced over at him. "You're a very complex man, aren't you?"

Xander glared as Wesley shook his head and started climbing the stairs again. "What does she see in him?" he demanded.

Willow came over and sat back down next to Oz. "Who sees what in who ?"

"Cordelia," Xander replied. "In Wesley. What could she possibly see in him? What does he have that I don't?"

"An accent?" Oz ventured.

Willow made a face. "If I knew that, I'd know how Cordelia's mind worked. And then I'd have to kill myself."

Xander shifted, still looking rather unhappy. "It's not fair."

Oz decided it was time to change the subject. This wasn't the first time that Xander had harped on the subject of Cordelia and her fascination with the Watcher. "What was up with Buffy?"

"She's a little freaked out," Willow replied. "Giles told her that the demon she killed could pass on an aspect of itself through contact with its blood, and she made contact." She looked back over her shoulder in the direction Buffy had disappeared. "She's worried about getting horns or a tail or something like that."

"At least with a physical trait she'd still be Buffy," Oz said. "If I was her, I'd be worried about getting something intangible."

Willow shook her head frantically. "Please don't say that to her. Buffy's freaked enough as it is, and she's already worrying about not being Buffy anymore."

"I just don't get it," Xander said.

Willow frowned. "You don't get what?"

"Why Cordelia would even like Wesley," he said. Xander had a one-track mind at times. "No one else does."

"I think Spike kinda likes him," Willow replied.

Xander's eyebrows went up. "Spike threatened to eat him."

Willow shrugged. "I think Spike just likes to give him a hard time. Maybe it's just because they're both British."

"Giles doesn't seem to think much of him," Oz said.

"Wesley did take Giles' place," Willow replied. "Well, not really, since Wesley's not in charge, but the Council did pick Wesley to be Buffy's Watcher." She looked thoughtful. "Do you think Buffy will change?"

Oz took his girlfriend's hand in his own. "Buffy's Buffy. I don't know that she could be anyone else."

~~~~~

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Spike finally demanded. Buffy had been distracted and glum all evening, but she refused to talk to him about it. When she didn't reply right away, Spike took her arm and steered her towards a nearby bus stop bench. "Spill."

Buffy fidgeted. "You know those demons I ran into last night?"

"The ugly ones? Sure."

"Apparently, I get to be just like them."

Spike frowned, trying to filter out the truth from the melodrama. Confusion cleared as he remembered some of the rumors he'd heard in the past. "Aspect of the demon?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied. "So I'm going to get horns or a tail or my mouth will disappear—"

Spike cut off her litany with a kiss. "Slow down, luv. You don't know that."

"Aspect of the demon, Spike!" Buffy said, an edge of hysteria in her voice. Maybe it was strange, but Spike was the one person she could freak out on. She hadn't even let Willow see the full extent of her fear. Spike could be trusted to remain calm, however. Buffy had tested that trait enough times to know.

He shook his head. "And if it's something you don't want, we'll find a way to fix it. I've told you, Buffy, I've got your back."

"I don't see why," she muttered.

Spike pulled back. "Look, Buffy—"

"Forget I said that," she quickly said. "I'm just—out of sorts tonight. After everything with Faith, and all my friends are getting to do the regular high school student thing..."

"What's that?"

"Our basketball team made it to the championship, and everyone was going to the game tonight." She paused. "Except for me."

"You could have gone, luv," Spike pointed out. "I could take patrol for the night."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm the Sla yer, Spike. It's my duty. Besides, if Faith caught you alone, it could be bad."

"There's no need to worry over me."

"Like you don't worry about me?" she asked.

Spike grinned at her. "Touché." He stood. "You ready to get going?"

"I guess." She shrugged. "Might as well get it over with."

Buffy felt a hand on her cheek, Spike's thumb caressing her face. " Wis h I could make this easier on you, Buffy."

Buffy smiled at him. "You do."

~~~~~

Buffy had always heard that you should be careful about what you wis hed for because you just might get it. Well, now she could hear people's thoughts, and she wasn't sure she liked it. It had seemed pretty cool at first, especially since she actually looked smart for once in English, taking the words right out of Nancy Doyle's mouth. Or her mind.

Her friends were obviously uncomfortable in her presence, however, and Giles was acting even more British than usual. Other than the shoe thing, Buffy had noticed that it was more difficult to read Giles' mind than anyone else's. She would have suspected that it had something to do with his Watcher training, except for the fact that Wesley seemed to be incapable of thinking about anything except Cordelia.

Of course, Xander obviously thought about sex all the time, so maybe Wesley was one up on him.

Buffy needed to get out of the library, but just being inside the school was overwhelming. Voices pressed on her from every side. It was like standing in a crowded room with everyone shouting at her at once.

Going to the cafeteria probably wasn't the brightest idea she'd ever had, but Buffy needed to eat. If it got much worse, she decided she'd go home, or she'd go see Spike.

Of course, she wasn't sure she wanted him to know she could read his mind, not knowing how everyone else had reacted to her new-found powers.

The noise inside the cafeteria seemed intensified. There were too many people, in too small a space, all of them thinking .

And then once voice broke clearly through the confusion. "This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all."

~~~~~

Spike knew how to manage the trip to the Summers ' house, even in the daytime. He'd worked it out a while ago, just in case there was an emergency, and Buffy needed him during the day. Spike had also figured out the routes between his place and the school, Giles' apartment, Joyce's gallery, and the homes of Buffy's friends.

No one could say he wasn't thorough.

Joyce had called him, sounding worried and tense. She'd told him what had happened, and then had asked him to come over. "I don't think I can sit with her right now."

"She already find out about you and Rupert?" Spike had asked.

"There was some yelling," Joyce had admitted. "It's probably not a good idea for me to be near her right now. I just can't help thinking about—you know."

It wasn't funny, but Spike had fought the desire to laugh anyway. That's what happened when you tried to hide something like this. You wound up getting yourself into trouble. "She can't read me," he assured her. "Probably will be more restful with me around anyway."

So now he was here, with Rupert's words echoing in his head. The Watcher had called to tell him what they'd found out just before he'd left his place. "You'll have to find that demon tonight, Spike. We need its heart to reverse the effects. If we don't do it soon—"

"Buffy will go mad," Spike finished. He'd known a few telepaths. If they couldn't get a handle on their abilities, they usually ended up completely barmy, or they completely isolated themselves from other people. Dru hadn't been able to hear others' thoughts exactly, but she'd had certain gifts in that area. Spike might have taken care of her until he got his soul, but it hadn't been a picnic.

There was no way he was going to allow that to happen to Buffy.

Spike made a mad dash from the manhole to the front door, skidding inside as it opened. He dropped the blanket he'd carried for protection and stamped out the spot that had caught fire. "She upstairs?"

Joyce nodded. "Spike—"

He put a hand on her arm. "We'll sort this, Joyce. Promise." Spike took the stairs two at a time to Buffy's room. "You alright, pet?"

She appeared tired. "I guess." Buffy's eyes narrowed. "Please tell me you didn't know about Mom and Giles."

"I didn't know about your mum and the Watcher," Spike replied.

Buffy stared at him. "Really?"

He shrugged. "Well, you asked me to tell you I didn't know."

She frowned. "I—I can't hear you."

"Vampire. We don't show up on a telepath's radar. Not sure how it works, but it's a handy trick at times." He sat down on the edge of her bed. "To be honest, I didn't know, but I had my suspicions."

"You didn't tell me," she accused him, sounding like a petulant child.

"You didn't want to know," he said gently. "Besides, it wasn't any of my business."

Buffy leaned back on her pillows. "Nobody wants to be around me. And everything is so loud. I can't block it out."

"I know, luv," he replied.

"Giles thinks I'm going to go mad."

"You think I'd let something like that happen?" Spike asked. "We'll get it sorted. Rupert and Wesley are working on an antidote. Soon as I find that other demon and rip its heart out, we'll be well on our way to a solution."

Buffy's eyes were shadowed as she looked at him. "But what if it doesn't work? What if Giles is right and I do go crazy?"

Spike didn't hesitate. He stretched out on the bed, gath ering Buffy up in his arms. "It's just all the voices," he murmured. "If this doesn't work—which it will—I'll find us a place, a quiet place, and we'll hole up there long enough for you to get this under control. Just the two of us."

It was a fairy tale, a fantasy, absolutely impossible in the long run, but Buffy wanted to believe him. She fell into a restless sleep, Spike's voice reducing everything else to a distant buzz.

~~~~~

"Have you guys found anything yet?" Giles asked as Willow timidly knocked on his office door.

She shook her head. "We've conducted some interviews, but there were a lot of people in the cafeteria yesterday, and Buffy didn't give us much to go on."

"I know." Giles pulled off his glasses and started polishing the lenses. "You'll continue your investigation tomorrow?"

"Sure thing," Willow replied. She frowned. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," Giles admitted. "We have the recipe for the potion that ought to reverse the effects, but there is no guarantee that it will work. No one has ever been able to find all the ingredients before."

"Spike will find the other demon."

"I have no doubt that he will." Giles wis hed he felt as certain as he sounded. Not that he doubted Spike's abilities in the least, but even the vampire's best efforts might not be enough this time. They had no way of knowing.

The phone at the desk rang, and they both started at the sound. "Mr. Giles?" Wesley called. "Mrs. Summers is on the phone."

Giles stood. "We'll have to go over there later, in case Spike—" He took a deep brea th. "We'll see you tomorrow, Willow ."

The girl knew a dismissal when she heard it. Willow wished that she could tell Giles it was going to be okay.

Willow wished she knew that her best friend was going to pull through this.

"See you." She watched as Giles brushed past her, taking the phone from Wesley. Giles' voice took on a different tone when he talked to Joyce. Willow noticed it, but she wasn't sure what it meant.

"We'll be over immediately, love," Giles finally said.

Willow 's eyes widened. Buffy was not going to be happy when she found out about this.

Chapter 33

"Away with your fictions of flimsy romance,/Those tissues of falsehood which Folly has wove;/Give me the mild beam of the soul-breathing glance,/Or the rapture which dwells on the first kiss of love ...Oh! cease to affirm that man, since his birth ,/ From Adam, till now, has with wretchedness strove;/Some portion of Paradise still is on earth,/And Eden revives, in the first kiss of love./When age chills the blood, when our pleasures are past—/For years fleet away with the wings of the dove—/The dearest remembrance will still be the last,/Our sweetest memorial, the first kiss of love." ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, "The First Kiss of Love"

Hunting the demon took a lot longer than Spike wanted it to. By the time he'd left the Summers ' residence, Buffy had been asleep, but insensible. The thought that haunted him was of what might happen if the potion didn't work.

He meant what he'd said, though. Spike would find a way to keep Buffy safe, even if it meant whisking her away.

The thing was , he didn't want to leave Sunnydale. He would do it, but he didn't want to.

Surprisingly Spike liked it here. He liked staying in one place for once in his unlife, enjoyed being able to drop in on Rupert or Joyce for a bit of conversation and a drink. Spike even liked knowing that Buffy's friends would back him up.

And yet Buffy's well-being was more important to him than anything. Spike wondered if she completely understood that.

It was dangerously close to dawn before Spike managed to find the demon. It was a tough bugger to kill, too, but he was a match for it. The vampire had quite a bit of aggression to work out on its flesh.

After the fight had taken them both around the park a few times, the demon managed to flip Spike over its back, sending him flying into a park bench. Spike rolled and came up under it, just as the demon was approaching him.

The knife slid up through flesh, catching on bone, and Spike stood quickly, catching its head and giving it a quick twist. The demon slumped, and Spike removed the heart with a few practiced slices, putting it in the jar that he'd brought for that purpose.

Not that he typically had to store demon hearts, but he had something that would do.

He had to make a mad dash for the Summers ' house since he'd had to hunt the demon on foot. The just-rising sun was making the back of his neck itch by the time he hit the front door, but Joyce had left it unlocked for him, so he had no trouble getting inside before he started smoking.

"Rupert! I've got it!"

Wesley emerged from the kitchen as Giles came down the stairs. "We've got the potion on the stove in the kitchen," Wesley said.

Spike followed him back, watching as Wesley carefully added the glowing blue liquid to the beaker on the stove. After a few minutes of watching it, Wesley pulled it off the stove, pouring the liquid into a vial. "Careful. It's rather warm."

"Got it," Spike replied, heading up the stairs. Joyce was standing by Buffy's bedroom door, and she looked at him hopefully.

"Spike?"

"We'll get her sorted, Joyce," Spike promised, striding over to Buffy's bedside. The Slayer was tossing and turning fitfully, obviously unaware of her surroundings. "Got something for you, luv."

Buffy moaned, but was otherwise unresponsive as Spike pulled her into his arms. "Drink up, Buffy," he murmured, putting the glass to her lips. She tried to fight him off, but was too weak to do much. Spike patiently held the glass to her lips, waiting for her to swallow. Once he was certain she had gotten a few swallows down, Spike laid her back down on the bed, smoothing Buffy's hair back from her face.

For a moment, Spike thought that all was well. Then Buffy started to convulse. Spike grabbed her shoulders, forcing Buffy to lie still. "Rupert!"

Giles was in the bedroom in an instant, coming over to the other side of the bed, helping Spike to hold Buffy down even though the vampire had her well under control.

Her Watcher was tired of watching and waiting.

An eternity seemed to pass before Buffy went still and limp. Joyce was standing next to Giles, one hand on his shoulder to steady herself. "Is she— "

"Sleeping," Spike murmured. "She'll be alright."

Joyce looked at Giles for confirmation, and he nodded. "I believe Spike is correct."

"Would anyone like coffee?" Wesley asked quietly from the door, feeling like an intruder.

Joyce smiled at him warmly. "Please. Do you know where everything is?"

Wesley nodded. He had watched Joyce make seemingly-endless pots of coffee over the course of the night and was well-acquainted with her kitchen.

Once he'd gone, Spike raised an eyebrow. "Is it just me, or is Wesley a little less of a git these days?"

"He has his moments," Giles responded. He reached up to take Joyce's hand. "How are you?"

Joyce held on tightly. "Not looking forward to explaining what Buffy managed to overhear yesterday," she replied, striving for a lighter note.

Giles managed a smile. "No, that's not going to be fun."

~~~~~

The first thing she noticed was the silence.

Blessed silence.

Buffy opened her eyes slowly to see Spike watching her, worry etched on his features. "Spike?"

"Right here, luv."

"Do you hear thoughts?" Joyce asked.

Buffy turned her head to see her mom and Giles on the other side of her bed. If the very idea of her mom and Giles sleeping together hadn't completely grossed her out, it would have been kind of cool. After all, Giles was more of a father to her than her own was at the moment.

"All is quiet." She glared at both of them, though. "We're going to have to have a long talk later." Both of them had the grace to look a little embarrassed. "Have you guys found the killer yet?"

Giles shook his head. " Willow is leading the effort, but so far there haven't been any results, I'm afraid."

"I need to go."

"Maybe you should rest," Joyce suggested.

Buffy shook her head stubbornly. "I'm rested up, and I need to find that kid." She pushed herself up off the bed. "I need to get cleaned up first, though. I probably look horrible."

"You're gorgeous," Spike said softly, his eyes meeting hers.

Buffy smiled. "Sweet-talker."

"Only for you."

"Let's let Buffy get dressed," Joyce said, shooing both men out of the room.

Buffy watched them go, wondering what she was going to say to her mom and Giles. It was weird, and she was pissed as hell they'd been hiding it for months—but she wasn't totally unhappy about it.

If only she hadn't picked up on the sex part.

Unfortunately, there was no time for a shower, so Buffy had to make do with a freshly washed face, ponytail, and clean clothing. Her mirror told her that she didn't look like a complete hag, though, and Spike didn't seem to mind.

Spike knew when to lie, actually, which was a talent every boyfriend should possess.

When she came out of the bathroom, Spike was waiting in the hall for her. "Be careful."

"Always," Buffy replied. " You staying here today?"

"Your mom offered me the spare room." Spike shrugged. "I could definitely use the kip."

"Thank you."

He didn't need to ask what she was thanking him for. "Any time, luv."

~~~~~

"You guys really did a lot," Buffy commented, looking through the stack of interviews. "What are you going to do with all of this information?"

Willow 's brow creased. "I thought maybe I'd turn them into the yearbook. They make for interesting reading, and that's what everybody thought it was for anyway." She hesitated. "So, uh, you know about..."

"Mom and Giles?" Buffy asked with a sigh. "It's so Disney-movie, it's not even funny." A pout formed. "Spike has known forever."

"Really?" Willow squeaked. "I guess that answers the question of whether or not he can keep a secret."

"Oh, he so can." Buffy relented slightly. "To be perfectly fair, Spike said he just suspected, but I'll bet he was pretty sure. He certainly wasn't surprised at all."

Not that Willow was going to say anything out loud, but she wasn't all that surprised now that she thought about it. Giles and Mrs. Summers had plenty in common—like Buffy—and Buffy's mom could be sure that Giles wasn't an evil robot or anything like that.

Although Willow would never admit it out loud, she had once harbored a small—teeny—crush on the librarian. With the accent, and the books, and really not bad looking... Well, who could blame her?

Not that she would ever, ever admit to that out loud.

"Isn't it weird that it was the cafeteria lady?" Willow asked. "I mean, I know Xander joked about it, but that was just Xander."

It had been an exciting afternoon. They had been out of suspects by the time Buffy got to the school. She had seen Jonathan in the bell tower and had managed to talk him down. Xander had been the hero of the hour, though, discovering the cafeteria lady in the act of pouring rat poison into the food.

That had been a close call.

"Very weird," Buffy agreed. "I wonder what will happen to Jonathan."

Willow grimaced. "I don't know. I mean, life can really suck sometimes, but..." She still couldn't quite understand why someone would want to end their life.

Buffy, who had sometimes wished for her life to end, had a better understanding. The only difference was that she didn't want to end it herself. There was a better than even chance that something else would end it for her.

She pushed herself back from the library table, knowing that she had put the conversation with Giles and her mom off for as long as she could. "I'd better get home."

Willow gave her a sympathetic look. "Don't be too hard on them, Buffy. They're only human."

Buffy gave her a sour look. "Very funny."

~~~~~

Giles was kind enough to give her a ride home. Buffy hadn't said much to him other than what was absolutely necessary.

He stopped her before she could get out of the car. "Buffy—"

"Let's talk when we get inside."

He sighed. "We didn't want to hurt you."

"You didn't." Buffy shook her head. "Let's talk inside, okay?"

Spike was still at the house, and he greeted her with a kiss, needing to check her well-being, and then he diplomatically took himself out to the back porch for a smoke.

Silence reigned over the living room. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Buffy," Joyce finally said. "I wasn't sure how you would take it."

"I probably would have taken it better if I hadn't picked it up by listening to you thinking about having sex with my Watcher," Buffy muttered rebelliously.

Giles turned bright red. "Yes, well..."

Buffy looked at her mom. "There are things I don't want to know either."

Their eyes met and held, and Joyce finally nodded. "Fair enough."

"I'm going to go keep Spike company ," Buffy announced.

After she'd left the room, Giles turned to Joyce. "Well, that went better than I was expecting."

"We have an understanding," Joyce said. Her expression turned rueful. "Of course, what this means is that I've used up all my mom-points for a while. I won't be able to get away with much more than a disapproving look the first time she comes in from being out all night."

"I see," Giles said , his eyes widening as her words struck home. "I see." He made a face. "I suppose there really are things it's better to remain ignorant about."

"Oh, that's been my motto for years," Joyce said.

~~~~~

Buffy sat down next to Spike on the porch just as he was flicking his butt out into the yard. "Mom's going to make you pick that up, you know."

Spike winced. "Forgot. Sorry."

"Not a big deal. As long as you get it before you leave."

"How are you?"

"Okay. Weirded out, but okay." Buffy stared off into the darkness. "It's just—the things I thought were never going to change are changing, and things I wanted to change aren't going to."

"Your mum and Giles?" Spike hazarded.

"For one." Buffy was quiet. "I haven't told Mom yet, but I got the acceptance letter from Northwestern. UC Sunnydale too, but—she's going to flip about Northwestern."

The name of the school meant nothing to Spike, but he assumed that it was a good one, and that it was quite a distance away. "You could still go."

Buffy stared at him. "Are you kidding? With the Hellmouth being here? Maybe if Faith hadn't gone psycho, I could have left, but I'm the Slayer, Spike. I don't get a 'get out of jail free' card."

"What if I stayed?"

She stared at him. "What?"

"What if I stayed? You could go off, have a normal life, go to that school."

Buffy was rarely speechless, but she was in that moment. "You would do that for me?"

"If it would make you happy."

"Do you think I should leave?" Buffy asked. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Bloody hell, no!" Spike said quickly. "Don't want you to go anywhere, but that would be up to you. I'm just saying that the option is there."

Buffy shook her head. "Thank you, Spike, but... I don't think it is. You can't outrun destiny."

"Suit yourself ," he replied, but he sounded pleased.

"It's not so bad," Buffy said, trying to look on the bright side. "I know the town, and I can bring laundry home for Mom to do."

"That's right," Spike said, trying not to be hurt about the fact that she'd said nothing about him being there.

"And you're here."

Spike glanced over at her, realizing that she'd been teasing him by deliberately leaving him out of her list the first time around. "Thanks for mentioning that."

"How could I forget with you sticking to me like glue?"

~~~~~

Faith took the box, trying to hide her excitement and her suspicion. In her experience, presents were just a way to get under your guard so that the giver could get you to do something for them later. "What's the occasion?"

The Mayor smiled at her indulgently. He understood the girl better than she'd ever know. Just give her a little affection, a few words of praise, and give her something to work out her aggression on and she was completely loyal.

Over the last century, Mayor Wilkins had learned that it didn't always take money to buy a person's loyalty.

"As if I need an occasion to show my affection," the Mayor replied. "Or my appreciation for running a small errand out at the airport."

Her pleasure turned sour. It was as Faith had suspected; the Mayor was just trying to butter her up so he could ask for something big. "You want me to help your friend move a sofa next?" she asked, unable to hide her bitterness.

The Mayor reached for the box. "This isn't a free ride, young lady. You know, I'm beginning to think someone's getting a little spoiled. Maybe I should take this back."

Faith clutched at the present. Even if he was using it to make her indebted, it wasn't as if she wasn't already. After all, she had a nice place to stay, and nice things in that place. The Mayor had given her a place at his side, a job to do—a job she was good at. "No, sir."

"Good girl," the Mayor said approvingly. He pushed the plate of cookies on his desk towards her. "Have a cookie."

Faith obediently took a cookie and started munching on it as the Mayor explained what he wanted her to do for him. "Now there's a package arriving tomorrow night from Central America . I can't stress this enough—it is critically important for my Ascension. I want you to meet the transporter at the airport and pick it up. It's vital that no one else, say Buffy or her friends, get their hands on it." He giggled. "Now, open your present."

Faith opened the box eagerly. Now that she knew what her errand was supposed to be, it really wasn't too bad. There was definitely the prospect of a fight ahead, and Faith did love a good fight. Her eyes widened as she saw the knife. "This is a thing of beauty, Boss!"

The Mayor smiled. "I thought you might like it. It cost a pretty penny, so I'd suggest you take good care of it." The smile grew cruel. "And you'll want to be careful not to put someone's eye out with that thing. At least not until I ask you to."

Chapter 34

"Peace flows into me/As the tide to the pool by the shore ;/ It is mine forevermore,/It ebbs not back like the sea./I am the pool of blue/That worships the vivid sky;/My hopes were heaven-high,/They are all fulfilled in you./I am the pool of gold/When sunset burns and dies,—/You are my deepening skies,/Give me your stars to hold." ~Sara Teasdale, "Peace"

"Hello, Spike," Joyce said, looking up as the vampire poked his head in the back door. "Come in."

Spike had seen the light in the kitchen window and come around back. "Buffy here?"

"No, she went to the library to talk to Giles, I believe," Joyce replied. "She said it was important."

Spike hesitated, torn between staying and trying to find the Slayer. Buffy must have left her bracelet at home, because his compass had pointed him in the direction of her house and not the school. "Why don't you have a seat?" Joyce asked. "I'm sure she'll be back in a little while. Were you going to meet her?"

He shrugged. "We hadn't really talked about it." What Spike didn't say was that Buffy had been distant the last few days, enough to throw him off balance. "How are you?"

"Good." Joyce started gathering what she needed to make hot chocolate.

"You and Rupert?"

"We're fine."

"Still a couple then?"

Joyce hesitated then sighed. "We are. It's not easy, of course, but nothing worth doing ever is."

A comfortable silence fell. Although neither one of them would have been able to completely define their relationship, they were friends at this point—as willing to simply be quiet together as they were to converse.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

Spike knew that tone of voice. It was the same one that Buffy used right before she asked him to do something he didn't want to do. "You can ask," he allowed.

"Buffy got accepted into Northwestern." Spike remained silent, not letting on that he already knew. "It's a good school, Spike, but more importantly it's not here in Sunnydale. I think she feels like she can't go."

"I see." Spike leaned back slightly, watching her carefully, trying to decide what he might tell her. "What would you like me to do about that, Joyce?"

"Talk to her." There was an edge of desperation in her voice. "Tell her that you'll stay and take care of things here."

Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath. "Do you have a problem with us being together?" he asked evenly. "I didn't think you did, but—"

"You're her best hope for leaving this behind, Spike," Joyce said. "I don't want to hurt you, and I understand that you love her, but—"

"If I love her, I'd want what's best for her." Spike's tone was even. He wasn't hurt, far from it. Spike understood that Joyce wasn't thinking about anything or anyone except Buffy. She had just witnessed her daughter nearly going insane, and Joyce wanted her baby away from this mess.

He couldn't fault her for that.

"I already made the offer," Spike finally said. "Buffy told me the other night that she'd been accepted. If she wants to go, I'll stay and take care of things here, but that's a choice she has to make." When Joyce shook her head impatiently, Spike asked, "Have you spoken with Rupert about this?"

"No," she replied. "I can't. It's—it's hard, because all I want is to keep her safe, and his job is to throw her at danger."

"Think you might have misinterpreted his job," Spike said gently. "All Rupert wants is Buffy's safety. That's what got him fired in the first place. Wesley is a bit of a different story, but I'm working on him."

Joyce frowned impatiently. "What else is a Watcher for?" she asked. "He finds danger and he sends a girl out to do it!"

"If the Watcher isn't around, the girl still has a job to do." Spike stood, taking Joyce's hands in his own, hoping to make her see the situation just a little more objectively. It was true; Buffy needed to make a decision, and she had a choice. It was a choice only she could make, however, because it was the Slayer's destiny she'd be trying to escape.

Fate was a difficult mistress at times.

"She'd still have all that strength, all that speed— everything she needs to be who and what she is," Spike continued when Joyce remained silent. "The Watcher's job is to make sure she's got the information to do the best job she can.

"Buffy's good," he said, looking her in the eye and willing her to understand. "Good enough that there are a lot fewer dead now than there would have been without her. Maybe I could keep the Hellmouth under wraps just as well. Maybe it wouldn't matter if she left, but Buffy's the Slayer, and I can guarantee you that power is going to have to go somewhere. She's not a regular girl. She never will be."

Joyce blinked back tears. "Why did it have to be her?"

"Might as well ask why it had to be me," Spike said, his tone wry. "I imagine my mum would have asked the same thing if she'd had the chance. Guess we all ask that question when it's someone we love playing the hero. Couldn't do without them, but we don't want to see the ones we love in that position. It would be easier if all heroes could be strangers to us."

She sighed, leaning her forehead on Spike's shoulder. Not even Giles had seen the depths of her fear; she couldn't lay that burden on him, not when Joyce knew that he carried the same heavy weight.

Letting Spike see her like this, however—it was easier. Moments like this, it was easy to believe that he was twice her age, if not more.

"I don't want to lose her."

"I know." Spike swallowed hard. He understood Joyce's terror better than she might think. "You won't, if I can do anything about it. You have my word on that."

~~~~~

"I want to leave, Giles." Buffy was resolutely ignoring Wesley. Her erstwhile Watcher had nearly had an apoplexy when she told him she wanted out. "I got into Northwestern, and with Spike here, I don't see why I shouldn't be able to go."

Giles nodded. "Congratulations, Buffy."

"You can't leave," Wesley objected. "You're the Slayer."

"You've got a really good substitute here," Buffy shot back. "Spike offered to stay and take care of things if I wanted to leave. Well, I want to leave. I'll be back on breaks; it's not like I'm never going to return."

Giles took his glasses off, regarding her with a steady look. "What about Faith and the Mayor?"

"We both know that I might end up graduating posthumously," Buffy replied. "It's not like I'm leaving tomorrow. The Ascension will be over then. I'm going to stop it."

"I do hope so," Giles said.

Wesley shook his head. "You are the Slayer. You have a sacred duty, and that duty places you on the Hellmouth. Difficult as that may be, it's just the way it is." When Buffy glared at him, Wesley huffed. "You can't leave. I absolutely forbid it."

"Oh, right. That will work," Giles muttered.

Buffy stared at him. "Wesley—"

"Perhaps if things were different," he allowed.

"Then I'll make them different," Buffy declared.

"What are you talking about?" Wesley asked.

"I'm tired of the Mayor calling all the shots." She frowned. "It's time to be proactive, take the fight to him."

Giles raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a plan?"

"Do I have to have a plan?" Buffy asked. "I was just thinking I'd be proactive with pep."

Wesley was shaking his head vigorously. "I really must object. It's too foolhardy. You'll get yourself killed."

Giles and Buffy both ignored him. "In order to take the fight to the Mayor, you'll need to find out exactly what they're up to," he pointed out.

Buffy shrugged. "That I can do. I thought you wanted maps and stuff."

Wesley realized that he'd lost this battle already. "Fine. You're going to take the battle to him, but let me ask you this, Buffy." When she looked over at him, Wesley said, "No matter where you go, you will still be the Slayer, and you will be handing your sacred duty to someone else. Are you really prepared to do that?"

Buffy didn't reply. She looked at Giles instead and said, "I'm going to see if I can't figure out what Faith and the Mayor are up to tonight."

"What about Spike?" Giles asked.

"He'll catch up." She was gone a moment later.

"You know I'm right." Wesley faced Giles belligerantly, daring him to disagree.

Giles turned back to the text he'd been searching for references to the Ascension. "I know nothing of the sort."

"It's kind of Spike to offer to take her place, but you know as well as I do that he can only do so much."

Giles sighed and turned to face Wesley. "Buffy might be the Slayer, but it is still her decision whether or not to stay or go. If she can work out some viable alternative to her staying in Sunnydale, then I don't see what the problem is."

Wesley huffed. "It's just not done. A Slayer at college!"

"Buffy does a lot that just isn't done." Giles went back to his text, and left Wesley to his discontented thoughts. After all, what did a Watcher do if his Slayer was away at university?

~~~~~

Spike saw Cordelia walking by herself and frowned. He was on his way to the library since Buffy hadn't yet shown up at her place. Spike was beginning to get concerned that he'd done something to piss the Slayer off. Not only hadn't she worn her bracelet, but she seemed to have purposely ditched him.

There was no way he was going to risk Cordelia getting eaten by something nasty, though. That didn't seem right.

He pulled up to the curb. "You want a ride?"

"Aren't you supposed to be mooning around after Buffy?" Cordelia asked, sounding even more snippy than usual.

Spike shrugged. "Suit yourself." He put the car into gear.

"Wait!" Cordelia sighed. Spike really hadn't done anything bad to her. Not that she had a problem taking out her frustration on him, but a ride would be nice. "Thanks for stopping."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "It's a bit lonely to be out by yourself after dark, and it's not safe." Teasing her, he added, "Especially not for an appealing morsel like yourself ."

Cordelia smiled in spite of herself. It felt like it had been days since she'd smiled. Her parents were still hanging onto the house, but it was only by their fingertips. She just hoped they managed to keep it until after graduation since she wasn't sure where she'd go otherwise. "You'd better not let your girlfriend catch you talking like that."

"Man doesn't go blind just because he's dating somebody." Spike turned into one of the classier neighborhoods. "How've you been, pet?"

Cordelia resolutely reined in her emotions. "Me? I'm great."

Spike could hear the brittleness that infused her voice, but he wasn't going to push it. Girls like Cordelia didn't react well to being pushed. "Good to hear."

She leaned back into the passenger seat of Spike's car. Of course, she hadn't asked anyone for a ride. How could she when she was supposed to have a car of her own?

Maybe she was the queen of gossip, but Cordelia knew how to keep her mouth shut, aware of how everyone would react when they found out that the IRS was coming after her parents for tax evasion.

Spike followed her directions and pulled up in front of a large house with a "For Sale" sign in the yard. " You planning on moving?"

Cordelia looked up to see the sign. It hadn't been there when she left in the morning. "Yeah. My parents are looking for a different house. Bigger, you know."

Spike didn't buy it for a minute, and he made a mental note to look out for the chit. Cordelia might be a tactless bitch, but she had guts. Spike admired that in a girl. "Good luck on that."

"Thanks for the ride." Cordelia got out and shut the door behind her, leaning down to look through the window. "Spike?"

"Yeah, pet?"

"Don't say anything about the house, okay? It's not a big deal, but—"

"You got it." He smiled at her. "My lips are sealed."

Cordelia nodded, realizing that he knew she wasn't telling him everything and appreciating the fact that he wasn't pushing it. "Thanks."

Spike watched as she walked up to the front door, waiting to be sure she made it inside before pulling away. He could smell the fear in the girl, which was what made her poker face all the more impressive.

He sighed. It seemed as though he wasn't going to be through keeping secrets for people anytime soon.

~~~~~

"Spike. There you are."

"You call, I come," Spike said, looking around the library. "Where's Buffy?"

"She's getting some things together," Giles replied. "We're going into City Hall tonight to retrieve the box, and—"

Spike held up a hand, cutting off the Watcher in mid-sentence. "We're doing what ?"

Giles straightened from the map he was reading. "Buffy didn't tell you?"

"I haven't talked to Buffy since she got that demon blood out of her system," Spike said, beginning to sound rather put out. "I'm beginning to think that she's avoiding me. What's going on?"

Giles frowned, put down his pen, and gave Spike his full attention. "Buffy didn't talk to you about this? She wants to take the fight to the Mayor's turf. I thought—she said she wanted to find a way to leave Sunnydale."

Hurt flashed across Spike's features before he managed to clamp down on his emotions. "Right. Because I offered to stick around. That's good, yeah? She should have a chance to get out of this place."

"Hey, Spike!" Willow entered the library with Xander close on her heels. "I'm glad you could come."

"Wouldn't miss it," he said, his voice tight.

Buffy entered with Wesley, both of them arguing over the plan. "There are too many risks."

"Risk is part of the business," Buffy replied. "Get used to it, Wes." She froze when she saw Spike. "Hey."

"'lo."

Willow looked from the vampire to the Slayer, sensing the sudden spike in tension. "So, do we have a plan?"

"Why don't you fill me in, Red?" Spike suggested, not taking his eyes off of Buffy. "Seems like I've got a lot of catching up to do, and you're talented at that sort of thing."

Buffy winced as he turned on his heel. Willow glanced at her friend, and Buffy nodded, indicating that Willow should go ahead and explain what was going on. "So Spike didn't realize you were so keen to leave town, eh?" Wesley asked in an undertone.

"None of your business, Wes," Buffy snapped.

"I'm your Watcher, Buffy, as I've often had to remind you," he shot back, keeping his voice low. "Don't forget that Spike is an invaluable ally. Screw up your love life all you like, but if you alienate him completely you could end up dooming us all."

Buffy stared after him, anger etched on her face. That had been a much better shot than Wesley was typically capable of producing. Apparently, he was improving. She felt a touch on her arm and saw Xander standing there. "Buffy..."

"I'm fine, Xan."

Xander just looked at her, obviously not buying it. "Buffy, you're not wearing your bracelet."

He walked over to the table, and Buffy looked down at her bare wrist with a pang. She had taken it off to shower the other night, and then had forgotten to put it back on again. It wasn't supposed to mean anything, but it would certainly explain why Spike hadn't shown up anywhere she was last night.

It might also explain why he was looking so royally pissed off.

Buffy sighed. It looked like she was going to have some explaining to do.

~~~~~

The ride to City Hall probably would have been uncomfortable, but Wesley started asking Spike questions about what he knew of becoming immortal. It filled up the silence inside the confines of the vehicle admirably, but Buffy was still feeling squirmy.

Not only had she not called Spike in the last couple days, she also hadn't worn the bracelet he gave her, nor had she told him about wanting to leave Sunnydale. In fact, when he made the offer to stay, she had been adamantly against leaving.

He probably thought she was trying to break up with him. She was a bad girlfriend.

And Spike had just killed a demon for her, too.

"You lot be careful," Giles admonished as they climbed out of the van. "First sign of trouble—"

"We run like the wind," Willow chirped. "Got it."

Wesley held up his watch. "I think we ought to synchronize our watches. I have twenty-one forty-one." He stopped when Buffy and Willow held up bare wrists. "Typical."

"I've got the same time," Spike said, hitching his bag over his shoulder so it hung more securely. "Let's go."

The two girls followed the vampire to the side of the building. Spike jumped, grabbing the bottom rung of the fire ladder and swinging his body until it came rattling down. "Ladies first."

Willow started climbing. Buffy paused at the bottom. "Spike—"

"We have a job to do, Slayer."

"But—"

"Later."

Buffy realized that she wasn't going to get anywhere with Spike at the moment, so she began climbing, feeling the ladder tremble slightly when Spike started up behind her. Once on the roof, they made their way over to the skylight. The vampire pulled it open, watching as Willow took a bottle of sand from Buffy.

She chanted quietly in Latin, then sprinkled what Spike could only assume was magic sand. He might have been clearer on what it was if anyone had seen fit to fill him in.

The force field around the box flared briefly and then disappeared altogether. Willow grinned. "Oh, yeah. I'm bad."

"Gold star, Will," Buffy murmured. "Now get going."

"I'm gone," she replied, heading over to the ladder.

Buffy looked at Spike. "Ready?"

"And able," Spike said evenly. "Let's get this done."

Buffy buckled the harness on quickly then lowered herself through the skylight, feeling the slow give of the winch. She hung, dropping down in a slow, steady pace, like a spider on its thread. When the box was in reach, Buffy picked it up, hugging it to her chest.

Of course, then the alarm started going off.

Buffy felt a jerk on the line, but she wasn't moving. "Spike!"

"I'm working on it!" She could hear him cursing, and then felt herself being pulled up. This time it wasn't with the smooth assistance of the winch. Instead, she was lifted about six inches every time she moved, with a sharp jerk.

Three vampires burst through the conference room doors. "Spike! I've got company."

Buffy felt him give her a huge pull, jerking her up, out of the vampires' reach. Spike's hand clamped down on the back of her jacket, and he yanked her through the skylight. One of the vampires immediately tried to follow, and when he jumped, his hands catching on the sill, Spike casually stomped on his fingers, crushing them under the heel of his boot.

Waiting until the vampire had dropped down, Spike slammed the skylight shut. Buffy thrust the box at him, scrambling out of her harness and over to the fire escape.

Spike dropped down from the roof, landing lightly on his feet, waiting patiently for Buffy on the ground. They moved as one person towards the idling van.

It wasn't until Spike slid the passenger door shut that either of them noticed something was wrong. Buffy looked around the interior. "Uh, where's Willow ?"

Chapter 35

"Thorns, shattered glass, sickness, crying: all day/they attack the honeyed contentment. And neither the tower,/nor the walls, nor secret passageways are of much help./Trouble seeps through, into the sleepers' peace./Sorrow rises and falls, comes near with its deep spoons,/and no one can live without this endless motion;/without it there would be no birth, no roof, no fence,/It happens: we have to account for it..." ~Pablo Neruda, "Sonnet LV"

Neither Spike nor Buffy particularly wanted to go back to the school, since that would mean leaving Willow in the clutches of Faith and the Mayor. There wasn't much of a choice, however, since they didn't know how well city hall would be guarded, or where Willow would be held.

It was too dangerous for Willow for them to go charging in on a rescue mission.

Spike hated being the bearer of bad news, though. He hated the expression on Oz's face when they told him and Xander that Willow had been caught. "We're going to fix this," Buffy said. "Oz, I swear we're going to get her back."

"We go back," Xander said, uncharacteristically serious. "Full-out assault."

Spike shook his head. "It's too dangerous. They'll see us coming, and they'll kill her."

"They know how much she means to us," Buffy agreed. "And we have something they want."

"You can't be serious!" Wesley objected. "That box is key to the Mayor's Ascension. If you give it back to him you'll be putting the lives of everyone you love at risk."

Xander glared at him. "This is Willow we're talking about. I call that a fair trade."

"The box must be destroyed!" Wesley insisted. He yelped as Spike slammed him back against the wall. "Spike, surely you see—"

"What I see is that we have a very simple choice," he growled. "We can lose Willow now and stop the Mayor now, or we can get Willow back now and stop the Mayor later. I vote we stop the Mayor later."

Wesley glared at him. "You're not in charge here, even if you'd like to believe you are. You are—"

"Absolutely right." Buffy's voice was cold. "Spike is right. We stop the Mayor later. Maybe we're back to square one, but I'm thinking Willow being alive makes up for that."

Wesley shook himself free of Spike's grip, turning to Giles. "Mr. Giles, surely you will talk some sense into them. There's a duty that must be done here, and—"

Spike had seen Oz quietly go over to the pot they needed for the ceremony to destroy the Box of Gavrock. He'd been fairly certain that the boy was going to make the argument moot, and Spike had kept his mouth shut even though he could have stopped him.

After all, he'd probably do the same thing if it had been Buffy in the Mayor's clutches.

Even if he was brassed off at the chit.

The crash silenced the crowd. Oz didn't even say anything; he just took his seat at the table again.

Buffy set her jaw, turning to Giles. "Make the call."

~~~~~

Willow was fairly sure that she didn't like being in danger. At the same time, even through her dry mouth and rocketing heartbeat, she couldn't regret it. Not when she didn't fold, and not when she had gotten some alone time with the Books of Ascension, plus a few torn pages. If she made it out alive, Giles was going to be thrilled.

She didn't doubt that she would make it out alive. Willow knew that Buffy would either come after her, or they would make a trade for her. She trusted the Slayer—and Spike. They were both really good at the hero-thing.

In fact, Willow was beginning to think that she might want to give being a hero a go. She could go to any university in America, and several in Europe, but what she most wanted was right here in Sunnydale.

Here, she got to help save the world on occasion. Plus, there was Oz, whom she didn't want to leave behind, and her friends. Buffy would probably end up staying, and Spike was sticking around. Xander would still be here, at least after he got back from his trip around the 50 states.

Besides, if she went off to one of those big schools, Willow knew she'd be one smart girl among hundreds. In Sunnydale, she would be the big fish with the opportunity to be a real kick-ass Wicca.

So, by the time the Mayor told Faith that he'd made a deal to get his box back, Willow had figured out which college she was going to.

It was funny how clear things got when people were threatening to kill you.

~~~~~

Spike shifted from foot to foot. He didn't like this, didn't like the fact that they were actually going to make the trade, didn't like the idea that they were going to trust the Mayor and Faith to do as they promised.

The bad guys never kept their promises. He knew that from experience.

There didn't seem to be another way to do it, though, and Spike was ready to take action if necessary. At the first sign of foul play, he would show the Mayor just how quick a vampire could be. He'd have Willow safe and Faith dead in a heartbeat.

"It's all locked up tight," Oz declared, checking the last door.

Xander grimaced, giving his baseball bat an experimental swing. "That doesn't make me feel trapped."

"One way out means one way in," Buffy said. "I want to see them coming."

As if her words summoned them, the lights went out, throwing the cafeteria into darkness. Spike shifted immediately, the better to see by.

The unlocked doors flew open, and two vampires walked through, followed closely by the Mayor and then Faith with Willow in tow. The Mayor stepped out into the middle of the room, and Buffy moved to meet him.

Mayor Wilkins grinned like a kid. "Well, this is exciting! Clandestine meetings in the middle of the night—I feel like we should all be wearing trench coats."

"Let her go," Buffy ordered.

The Mayor shook his head. "Not until I have my box."

Spike stepped out of the shadows. "Here it is. Come and get it."

Mayor Wilkins looked over at Faith who moved forward, dragging Willow along with her. She snatched the box out of Spike's hands at the same time that he made a grab for Willow, thrusting her behind him. "So this is the famous Spike," the Mayor observed as the transaction was taking place. "Somehow I thought you'd be taller."

"What can I say?" Spike replied. "Compact works better in my line of work."

The Mayor's expression remained affable, but his eyes narrowed. "I can imagine. Somehow I can't imagine that you and a nice girl like Buffy have much in common. You're a killer, a mercenary. You fight for the highest bidder, and she has a sacred destiny." He looked at Buffy. "Where's he going to be when the money runs out?"

Buffy glared at him. "That's none of your business."

"And what happens when you start getting older and Spike stays the same age?" Mayor Wilkins asked. "You know, I married my Edna May in ought-three, and I was with her right up until the end. Not a pretty picture, I can tell you. Wrinkled and senile and cursing me for my youth."

"What makes you think I'll survive to die of old age?" Buffy asked. "After all, I've died once already."

Whatever else the Mayor might have said was cut off by Snyder's entrance and all hell breaking loose.

The policeman who ended up holding the box had apparently never heard of Pandora, since he let his curiosity get the best of him. The demon-spider leaped from the box onto his face, and his screams alerted the rest of the room to the fact that something was loose. Thankfully, the box fell in such a way as to prevent any more of the creatures from escaping.

Spike was not terribly fond of spiders. It wasn't a phobia—he just didn't like them. Seeing the giant, spider-like thing coming out of the box was going to have his skin crawling for days.

It didn't help that the thing had disappeared into the darkened room after the policeman collapsed. Spike felt sorry for the man, but at the same time he felt it served him right for peeking into a closed box when he had no idea what might be inside.

Of course, that left the rest of them to deal with the creature, with no hint as to its whereabouts.

Spike could hear Wesley's whimpers behind him, but he ignored the man, concentrating instead on trying to locate the thing. "Do you hear it?" Buffy murmured.

"No, I—" Spike felt the thing drop down on his back, and he let out a startled, "Bloody hell!"

"Spike!" Buffy quickly yanked it off, throwing it against one wall where it left a slimy trail as it slid to the floor.

"I wouldn't leave that box open," the Mayor warned as another spider-like creature tried to skitter out.

Faith hurried over to the box, slamming the lid shut and smashing the creature. She gathered the box up in her arms, backing away from Buffy and the rest of them.

"Is that all of them?" Oz asked.

"Uh, no," the Mayor said cheerfully. "There are about fifty billion of those little suckers in there. Raise your hands if you're invulnerable." There was no reply. "No? Well, we'll just be going then."

The vampire guards scrambled out the door just ahead of the Mayor, and the remaining police officer followed close on Mayor Wilkins' heels. Only Snyder remained behind, staring at them. "Snyder? You in there?" Buffy asked.

Snyder glared at all of them impartially. "You! Why can't you all be selling drugs like normal students?" He turned on his heel and left.

As the others turned to make sure Willow was okay, Spike slipped back into the shadows and then out the door. There was no need for him to stay.

Not tonight, anyway.

~~~~~

The euphoria over Willow choosing to stay in Sunnydale for college was dimmed by the knowledge that Spike wasn't talking to her.

When Buffy realized that he'd left the cafeteria without a word to anyone, she had immediately called his cell phone in spite of the lateness of the hour.

He hadn't answered.

Buffy called the next day during her lunch period, and Spike still didn't answer. She had made sure to wear her bracelet, and she wanted to be sure that he was going to be at home before she came over after school.

She wasn't sure what to do at this point. Buffy could let Spike be, or she could try talking to him. The Slayer had the feeling that the more mature response would probably be to talk it out, but she really would rather avoid that at all costs.

But she missed him. A lot.

That was why she wound up on his doorstep as soon as she had loaded up on mochas with Willow, pounding on the door when Spike didn't answer right away. "Come on, Spike, I know you're there," she muttered, not quite ready to start yelling at him and risk the neighbors noticing.

Technically, Buffy didn't actually know that Spike was there, since he had been known to go out occasionally during the day. He might be running an errand or looking for information on the Mayor's Ascension, or any number of other things.

Or he could just be refusing to talk to her.

Buffy tried banging on the door one more time, deciding that if Spike still wouldn't answer, she'd just go home.

"Will you shut the bloody hell up?" Spike demanded, jerking the door open and glaring at her. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

Buffy winced. Spike was shirtless, barefoot, and his hair was tousled, which meant that she'd definitely made him get up. Probably not the best way to begin a conversation.

Of course, he looked hot. Really hot.

"Sorry."

Still frowning, he asked, "So what's so important?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Buffy replied. "You didn't stick around last night, and—"

"You didn't need me there. Red was safe and the job was done." Spike turned on his heel and stalked back into the dim interior, but he left the door open behind him, and Buffy took that as an invitation to enter.

"Spike, I—"

"Are we done?" he asked, a mixture of anger and hurt and defeat in his tone. "Is that what this means, Slayer, because I don't have a sodding clue as to what you want."

Buffy fidgeted, her fingers playing with the bracelet he'd given her. "We're not done, Spike. Not unless you want to be."

"You're going off, aren't you?" Spike asked. "To some fancy school?"

She laughed bitterly. "I was fooling myself. I'm the Slayer, this is the Hellmouth. I don't get a 'get out of jail free' card." Buffy wouldn't meet his eyes. "I thought you were okay with me leaving."

"Okay?" Spike asked. "Not okay. I'd do it if that's what you really wanted, but you said you wanted to stay." The words came out as an accusation, but Spike wasn't sure he wanted to take that back. "You said you wanted to stay, and then—I couldn't find you."

There was more to his words than the simple statement of fact. Buffy hadn't been wearing her charm, and Spike hadn't been able to locate her. It was about her saying one thing and doing another without giving Spike a heads-up. It was about shutting him out.

It was about them living in different worlds, like the Mayor had said. The difference was that the Mayor had no idea what they were willing to give up to be together.

In truth, neither Buffy nor Spike knew the answer to that themselves.

The Slayer couldn't have articulated any of that, but she understood it at the same gut-level that Spike seemed to understand her. Not that she always managed to do her best for the people around her. Buffy knew—based on the very occasional flash of insight—that she could be really self-centered. She could take the people she loved most for granted. It was a measure of her trust for Spike that she believed that he would always be there.

It was a measure of her love that she couldn't imagine him not being around.

"I'm sorry." Buffy hated apologizing, but she knew she wasn't going to get out of it this time. What she wasn't able to say was that it had largely been about watching Willow dithering over all her opportunities to go to virtually any school in the world. It had been Cordelia's snide comments about how Buffy was never going to go anywhere, because there would always be the Hellmouth to guard. It had been the natural desire of an adolescent to get away from home, to go somewhere new. She had wanted that, or thought she had.

But she didn't know how to put any of it into words. Nor could she tell him that the best thing about staying in Sunnydale was his presence.

Spike didn't appear to be mollified in the least. "Wish you would tell me these things, at least." There were the faint signs of a pout on his face. "I don't bloody well intuit these things, Buffy. You can't expect me just to read your mind and know what's going on."

"I know." She winced, knowing that she hadn't done very well by Spike. "I really am sorry."

"Yeah, well..." He trailed off, running a hand through his already-tousled hair, seeming not to know how to take her apology, or what to say next.

Buffy cleared her throat. "I woke you up. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Spike replied.

They were suddenly back in the awkward stage again, as if they hadn't long since grown out of it. "I should go."

"You don't have to." Spike spoke quickly, not sure why he wanted her to stay, but not wanting her to go either. He was still angry, but he'd missed her company.

Buffy hesitated. "Do you just want to watch TV or something? I mean, you could maybe get a nap in, and I'll just stay for a while."

"That'd be alright," Spike replied, trying to sound as if it didn't make any difference at all whether or not she stayed or went. As though he hadn't just asked her to stick around.

As though his eyes didn't reveal his longing. Spike never had been all that good at concealing his emotions. His eyes gave him away every time when it came to matters of the heart.

That's why he'd liked doing business so much. The heart didn't have to get involved.

"Okay, then I'll—" Buffy stopped and muttered. "Oh, the hell with it."

She had crossed the distance between them in a heartbeat, pulling his head down and kissing him before Spike had a chance to figure out what she was doing. He had been standing there looking so good—she just wanted a taste.

Spike returned her kiss hungrily, his tongue meeting her own. Her hands were doing some wandering, as were his, and when she pulled away briefly to catch her breath, Spike took a step back. "What are we doing, Buffy?"

"We were kissing," she replied. "And we were doing a really good job of it. Could we resume?"

He frowned. "I'm still pissed off."

Buffy sighed. "Then no kisses?"

She was pouting, and Spike felt himself softening ever so slightly. "Don't spring that kind of thing on me again." He glared at her, showing no sign that his anger was fading. "You can't just decide what you're going to do and expect me to go along with it."

"I'm the Slayer, Spike," Buffy shot back, stung. "That's what I do. I make decisions and plans, and then we carry them out."

Spike shook his head. "No, luv. We make decisions and plans, and then we carry them out. I can't keep you safe if I don't know what's going on, and I can't be your partner if you're the one who's always leading." He set his jaw stubbornly, knowing that she could easily tell him to sod off. "And I won't accept less than a partnership, Buffy. Done the other, and it nearly killed me."

Buffy wanted to argue, but Spike had a point. She didn't want him to have a point, but from the expression on his face, he wasn't going to accept less than an equal partnership. If she tried to run roughshod over him, she might still have a patrolling partner, but she wouldn't have a boyfriend.

She didn't want to lose either.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"You're right." Buffy nearly choked on the words. She really didn't like admitting that she was wrong, no matter who she was doing the admitting to. "Leaving you out of the loop is a bad idea." He raised an eyebrow. "And if I forget my bracelet at home again I'll at least give you a call."

Spike's face softened completely, the look in his eyes almost tender. "Don't want to keep you on a short leash, pet. That's not what this is about. We both have our own lives. Right now, though, with everything that's going on, I think we need to stick close together."

Buffy took a deep breath, leaning in towards him, feeling a sense of relief when his arms came around her. "I want you close," she admitted.

"Glad to hear it." Spike kissed her, his caresses creating a slow burn between the two of them. He wasn't deluding himself; Buffy would try to shut him out again. That was just the way she was. Now, however, Spike had a promise that he could remind her about the next time she tried it.

No matter how much you might love someone, it never hurt to have a little leverage.

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