Victims of Fate by ya_lublyu_tebya

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Chapter 18: Aftermath

She woke early the next morning, finding herself alone, and sighed, feeling hardly rested after a night plagued with bad dreams. She sighed again and rolled onto her back, her eyes fixed mindlessly on the ceiling. She could hear the faintest of sounds coming from downstairs and with a sinking feeling she remembered it was the weekend and her mother would not be at work. She just didn’t think she could face anyone today. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and not leave it for a week at least.

She had never imagined that asking him for space – not completely unreasonable, surely? – would drive Angel away from her, from her town. Even though she wasn’t sure about her feelings, something in her had clung to the memory, the illusion of what they had once had. She cared about him, despite – or maybe because of – everything they had been through together. He had been everything to her such a short time ago and now… now he was leaving her behind because he wanted her to have someone real, whatever the hell that meant.

Her face crumpled up at the memory but she refused to break down, part of her refusing to shed any more tears on his account. Not this morning, anyway. She rolled out of bed and wrapped her dressing gown around her as she stumbled through to the shower. She relaxed under the hot spray, closing her eyes as it blasted her face, washing away no doubt unattractive panda eyes.

She was grateful for one thing at least and that was Spike. If not for him, she probably would have just curled up right there on the ground and waited for the first vampire to come along and finish her. The idea of Spike being anything but sarcastic to her would have been ridiculous just a month ago but the vampire she knew now was, well, different.



She returned to her room and threw on some old tracksuit bottoms and a large baggy sweater and made her way downstairs, knowing she could not put it off much longer. She found her mother and Spike talking quietly in the kitchen but as soon as she entered, they both fell silent and she could see from her mother’s compassionate expression that Spike had told her at least something of what had happened.

“Morning,” she said quietly, slipping onto a stool.

“Morning, honey. Would you like some pancakes? I was just about to make some.”

“I’m not really hungry,” she murmured, eyes fixed on the worktop.

“Well, maybe just one? For me?” her mother coaxed and she finally succumbed, nodding jerkily and risking a glance at her before returning her eyes to the worktop.

She felt exhausted – even more so than she ever had looking after Spike – and let her hair fall around her face, hiding her from the others. The kitchen was awkwardly quiet and she wished someone would talk and break the tension silence.

“Spike said you went to see Mr. Giles?” her mother asked and she raised her head, half-grateful for the distraction.

“Yeah. Just to let him know I was patrolling. I should probably let him know I didn’t get round to killing anything…”

She sighed and rested her head against her hand. Somehow, she just didn’t have the energy to do anything.



Moments later, her mother placed a pancake down in front of her and dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.

“Eat up.”

If the earlier look hadn’t been enough to signal that her mother knew, the sudden quick hug she gave her was definite proof. She pulled away quickly but it was enough and Buffy bowed her head, fighting the tears as she picked at the pancake.

“I’m just going to take the trash out,” her mother remarked and disappeared out the back door moments later, leaving them alone in silence.

A long pause passed before Spike spoke, sliding onto a stool next to her.

“I just told her the basics. I hope you don’t mind. I just thought maybe…”

“No, thanks,” she whispered, raising watery eyes to his, “Means I don’t have to tell her.”

She gave him a weak smile and stabbed weakly at her pancake.

“Thanks for last night as well.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t exactly in a state to be out in the open like that. Wanted to get you home and safe.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, giving up on her pancake with a sigh and dropping her fork.

He reached out and placed a hand over hers carefully.

“You want me to kill him?” he asked seriously.

Her shock quickly turned to a smile that soon transformed into hysterical laughter and she bent over double, holding her stomach. He gave her that shy smile – so at odds with the assassination offer of moments ago - and she laughed even harder.



Her mother, coming back in a minute later, seemed astounded to find her laughing when just moments before, she had been so quiet. She forced herself to calm down and gave the vampire a wry smile.

“Thanks.”

He nodded, averting his gaze shyly and fixing his attention on Joyce. She sobered quickly and gave her mother a sad smile.

“I think I’m going to head back to my room.”

“Are you sure?” her mother queried, worried eyes watching her.

“Yeah. I kinda need some alone-time right now,” she admitted wearily, “A lot of things to think about, you know.”

Her mother nodded slowly, smiling softly as she stepped forward and stroked her hand over her hair.

“Just don’t stay up there alone all day, okay? It’s not good for you.”

She smiled wearily and got to her feet.

“If you want, maybe we could go to the mall later,” her mother suggested gently and she turned to give her a sad smile.

“Maybe.”

She turned to the vampire, holding his gaze for a long moment before turning and leaving the room. She fled back to her room and lay down on her bed, curling up in her pillow and biting her lip furiously to hold back the tears. She wouldn’t cry for him, she wouldn’t. Still tired from her restless night, it wasn’t long before she fell asleep.



She was woken by the softest touch at her shoulder and she opened her eyes slowly.

“Spike?”

“Shh,” he murmured softly, settling on the bed next to her, his fingers stroking over her cheek.

“It hurts.”

“I know,” he whispered, “Let me make it better.”

He lowered his head and brushed a kiss across her lips before pressing another to her cheek, then to her neck. She arched into his touch and closed her eyes, one arm winding around his neck and holding him close as his hands smoothed over her arms. He pulled back slowly, blue eyes shining down at her.

“Better?”

“Not yet,” she whispered, drawing him close and meeting his lips with hers. His kiss was tender, gentle, his mouth so cool against hers.

“Buffy,” he murmured lowly against her lips.



“Buffy.”

The voice and the hand at her shoulder startled her awake and she sat up quickly, meeting her mother’s concerned gaze with wide eyes.

“Mom!”

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just don’t want you sleeping all day. You won’t sleep tonight.”

“Oh right… yeah. Yeah, I see.”

“Are you okay, honey?” her mother asked softly, brushing her hair back from her face, “You’re shaking.”

“I’m fine,” she lied, forcing a shaky smile, “I just had a… a weird dream.”

Her mother smiled and brushed her hand over her shoulder.

“How would you like that mall trip?”

“I, err, I guess.”

“Come on then,” her mother coaxed, “Maybe we could get you some new clothes.”

Usually the idea of new clothes would have been enough to make her week but now she just felt numb, even as she forced a smile. She supposed getting out of the house was a good idea. Especially after that crazy dream which just made no sense. She shook her head and pushed herself off the bed, looking down at her clothes with a grimace.

“I’m just going to change into something a little more presentable.”

Her mother smiled and left the room, leaving her in a confused daze over her strange dream. She soon shook it off though, dismissing it as just a dream, and got ready for her outing.

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