A Loss of Pride by Mabel Marsters

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Chapter 20: Dreaming eh?

Buffy woke up as Carol rapped on the door and came in. She slid out of Spike’s arms and off the bed as Carol walked towards her.

“Sorry to disturb you,” said Carol quietly when she saw that Spike was still sleeping, “I just need to give him his last dose of meds.”

She injected the drugs via the catheter in his right hand where the drip was still connected and Spike never stirred.

“Just press the buzzer if you need anything,” said Carol. She smiled at Buffy and added, “Let me show you how the lock on the door works.”

Buffy walked with her to the door and watched as Carol showed her how to lock the door properly so that no one could come in without it being opened for them. The mechanism was near the top of the door so Buffy had to stretch to reach it. Carol caught her slightly puzzled look as she wondered why it was so high up.

“It’s up there so that our wheelchair-bound patients can’t reach it on their own. We can’t risk not being able to get to them in an emergency.”

“Oh,” said Buffy weakly, knowing that it was things like that that Spike found hard to bear.

Once Carol had gone Buffy locked the door and went to take a shower, noticing the little bench in it with a pang. She towel-dried her hair and put on a t-shirt that served as a nightdress. She walked back into the room and saw that Spike was awake and watching her closely.

“That’s my t-shirt,” he said, “How come you’re wearing my t-shirt? It’s not one from here, I know that.”

“Well, I sort of borrowed it from your stuff at the Old Hyperion,” replied Buffy with a smile.

“Looks good on you,” he said, returning the smile as he raised the top of the bed up until he was sitting.

She walked towards the bed, swinging her hips provocatively, “Since we’ve slept for most of the day, I’m not feeling sleepy now, are you?”

“Not really,” replied Spike, “I’m not allowed any sedatives after…um…”

Both of their smiles faltered a little at that. Buffy stroked her fingertips along his arm.

“So what should we do then?”

Spike gazed at her. He knew what she was implying and he was terrified.

“Um…watch a bit of TV?” he quipped, trying and failing to disguise his fear from Buffy.

“I can think of something a bit more interesting.”

She climbed onto the bed and kissed him, pushing her tongue between Spike’s lips and against his teeth, urging him to grant it admission to his mouth.

He sighed and yielded to her probing tongue, matching its movements with his own. A low moan escaped his lips as he felt Buffy’s hand rubbing over his bare torso. She moved so that she was straddling Spike, although the sheets were still between them. She pulled the t-shirt over her head.

“Buffy…I…”

“Shh,” she said, smothering his words with a kiss, “No talking.”

He put his left hand behind her head and pulled her close, crushing his lips against hers hungrily. Buffy put her hand up to his and guided his left hand down until it was resting on her thigh. She stared into his eyes as she guided it between her legs.

“Touch me, Spike,” she whispered, “Please touch me.”

He’d never been able to deny Buffy anything and he didn’t want to start now. He slipped his fingers inside her, his breath catching in his throat as she arched her back slightly and moaned.

“Oh God, Buffy.”

He felt himself harden and judging by Buffy’s smile so did she. She shuffled backwards until she’d managed to push the bed covers away. She glanced at Spike, once more seeing the uncertainty in his eyes.

“I love you,” she said softly.

Her hand worked to free him from the confines of his pyjamas, eyes never leaving his, reassuring him without words that no matter what he could or couldn’t do, she loved him. She gripped him firmly and slid her hand slowly up and down.

Spike ran his hand through her hair before leaning forward, drawing her in for another kiss. He still couldn’t quite believe that she was there but as the rhythm of her hand increased he was brought back to reality as he found himself close to the brink.

“I…can’t…wait,” he gasped.

Buffy let go with her hand, smiling at Spike’s moan as she did. The moan was soon replaced by a hiss as she lowered herself onto him in one rapid movement.

“Christ,” he muttered, making her giggle.

And so they made love. Buffy riding him slowly, teasing him by raising herself up until almost free of him before lowering herself down sharply, delighting in the pleasure that she was giving him. He put his hands on her hips, fingers digging into her flesh as he tried to control her pace. His eyes filled momentarily with tears as he wished that he could participate more. He wanted to turn her over and take charge, but all he could do was slightly move his hips up to meet her.

The sight of Buffy straddling him with such obvious delight was his undoing and with a cry he climaxed, pulling Buffy tight against his chest. He kissed down the side of her neck, aware of the blood pumping through the vein beneath his lips, knowing that if he were still a vampire that he wouldn’t have been able to resist biting her - hell, he could hardly resist it now. Buffy slid onto the bed at Spike’s side, sighing with the satisfaction of a job well done.

After a few moments Spike spoke, his voice tentative, “Buffy?”

“Yeah?” she smiled.

“I know that you didn’t…that I couldn’t give…” His words trailed off.

“What?” asked Buffy, wondering what he was trying to say. She glanced at his face and was surprised when he avoided her gaze. This didn’t look like a man who’d just had a good time. Then she realised what was bothering him; she hadn’t climaxed and he knew it.

“Baby,” she said, taking his chin in her hand and drawing his face closer to hers, “That time was all about you, not me. That was me making love to you.”

“But…”

“Shh, I’ll make you a deal if you like?” said Buffy with a very mischievous grin, “The next time can be all about me, okay?”

He tried to smile back at her but all he could think of was that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy her. She accurately read his thoughts and tried to distract him from them.

“So, was that the first time in well over a century that you’ve made love as a human? None of the pretty nurses got here before me, did they?”

He smiled and relaxed a little. “No, you are the first.”

“Glad to hear it. At least I had less clothes to take off than the Victorian women you had.”

“No, Buffy. You are the first.”

“What? You mean you never? Before Drusilla you hadn’t…?”

“Nope.”

“How old were you, or is that ‘are’ you? You’re going to have to start counting from there again.”

“Twenty-eight,” replied Spike with a sheepish grin.

“Wow! You’re not that much older than me now. Bit of a late starter, weren’t you?”

“The women weren’t as easy back then,” he deadpanned.

“Hey! That is so not flattering,” retorted Buffy.

“I know!” He grinned.

“Pig.” She gently cuffed his arm.

“Buffy?” he said, suddenly serious.

“Mm?”

“Look, don’t get mad all right…but are you sure? I mean I might be like this forever…just if you…”

“Spike! For the love of God!” snapped Buffy in exasperation, “I am here because I want to be, because I need to be with you, just like I need to breathe to survive. So no more of this ‘I’m not worthy’ crap - you’re mine and you’d better get used to it.”

Fire lashed in her eyes. God, he got hard just seeing that.

“I’m sorry pet, I just can’t believe it. I’ve wanted it for so long.”

“I’ll forgive you…eventually,” smiled Buffy, her small hand unerringly drawn to his erection, “So is it my turn already?”

She leaned over and lowered the bed until it was flat. Spike shifted slightly as she caressed him, her hand eliciting just the right amount of pressure. He looked deep into Buffy’s eyes.

“I’m up for it, if you are?” he said with a smirk.

Buffy laughed out loud. That was more like the Spike she knew. She moved to sit across him again.

“No pet, this time you do as I say.”

“Yes, boss,” she said meekly, “So where do you want me?”

He pushed her into position so that her head was towards his groin and her ass was easily within reach. He slid his fingers into her, revelling in her slick warmth. He found her sensitive spot and went to work, rubbing, pinching, and teasing. Soon Buffy was writhing and panting with pleasure. His strong arms pulled her nearer and he turned his body so that he could replace his fingers with his tongue. She bucked under his touch. He held her firm, not letting her move out of reach. He let out a groan of his own as she returned the favour on him. He brought Buffy to the brink.

“I want you inside me now!” cried Buffy.

He released his hold on her hips and she twisted round quickly until she lowered herself onto him. They both paused for a second, lost in the pleasure the penetration gave both of them. Spike’s fingers found Buffy again and a few seconds later she climaxed, her whole body shuddering. Spike followed hard on her heels. They collapsed sated and exhausted in each other’s arms.

“Oh my God,” whispered Buffy in Spike’s ear, “That was amazing. Just think of what all those Victorian ladies missed out on.”

They both chuckled.

“Shit,” said Spike.

“What?”

“I’ve pulled the bloody thing out of my vein. I never even felt it.” He held his hand out to show her.

“We’d better get a nurse to put it back in for you,” said Buffy, reluctantly moving from his arms. She put on the t-shirt and walked over to unlock the door as Spike pressed the buzzer.

“Um…you might want to put a robe on, love,” reminded Spike, “That thing barely covers your admittedly delectable arse.”

Buffy squealed as she heard the tap on the door and ran into the little bedroom to find one.

“Hi Spike, what’s the problem?” asked Carol, walking in.

“Um…my drip thingy has come out.”

“Okay, well I can soon sort that out.” She took hold of his right hand and scowled, “Gosh there’s going to be quite a bruise. How did it get pulled out?”

“Er…I’m not sure…I must have been dreaming, I reckon,” stuttered Spike as to his horror a blush heated up his cheeks.

Buffy walked back in swathed in a bathrobe, hair dishevelled. She looked for all the world like a woman who’d just had some great sex.

“Dreaming, eh?” said Carol with a wink, “Well, I’m going to have to put it in the vein on your left hand.” She wheeled the stand holding the bags of fluid to the left side of the bed and deftly inserted a new catheter and reattached the drip. “Don’t go dreaming again tonight, okay? You’ll be off it in the morning so just try and resist.” She grinned at the couple and left.

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