Hero's Reward by Pfeifferpack

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Chapter 11: Setting Red Right

Author's Notes: Although the plot has taken a turn far from canon, I have sought in these last two chapters to touch on the last episodes of Season 6 with an occasional bit of dialogue or “moment”. Those episodes are “Seeing Red” by Steven De Knight, “Villains” by Marti Noxon, “Two to Go” by Douglas Petrie and “Grave” by David Fury

The short and painless ritual left Buffy feeling whole for the first time she could remember. “This is better than therapy and affordable as well--if you don’t count the airfare,” She smiled widely at Giles in gratitude. Tara had set aside her own pain and assisted Anya, Giles and Buffy in completing the four directions and elements needed to make the ritual pull in the power of the natural world.


“I suppose I should wait, but I think this is the perfect time since I have most everybody here.” Buffy decided to cut to the chase: “I’m one hundred percent functioning Buffy…and I still love Spike.”

Xander looked crestfallen. A large part of him had hoped against hope that her fixation on the missing vampire had been induced by her mystical troubles and once this ritual was completed she would come to her senses.

“I rather expected that,” Giles answered dryly. He’d had time to think and come to grips with the idea that Buffy was, as he had told the others, quite old enough to make her own choices. As Spike was not behaving in a threatening manner, there was little he could say in argument. Still, he intended to keep a close watch on the couple for as long as this infatuation lasted--that is, as soon as Spike could be returned to his Slayer’s hearth and home.

The group began to break up, each with his or her own agenda. Buffy was going with Tara to try to hunt down Willow and nip her antics in the bud while Xander and Anya were headed home for more connubial bliss.

“A word if you will, Xander.” Giles stopped the group before they reached the foyer. He really would have preferred Buffy not be present when he asked the lad his pertinent question, but there was no time like the present.

“What’s up, Watcher man? Something I can do you for?” His feigned nonchalance was not fooling the older man one bit.

“For one thing, I would appreciate it if someone in this infernal group at least attempted to speak proper English once in a while,” Giles looked between the two worst offenders only to see no remorse whatsoever on either face. “Oh, never mind. It pains me to realize that I perfectly understand your glib slang,” he sighed in exasperation.

“All day you have been acting as though you are carrying state secrets and the government is onto you. I want to know why.”

“Clueless carpenter here. Don’t know what you mean.” Xander’s body language was as accurate as any lie detector. The peaks and valleys he exhibited were off the chart. If Giles wasn’t mistaken, Xander had even broken out in a sweat.

“You do act strangely, Xander. Are you upset that I’ve been spending so much time building our nest egg?” Anya saw the world through a very narrow lens.

“I think his discomfort only manifests when Spike’s disappearance is discussed.” Giles laid it out clearly. “Perhaps there is some information you would care to share with Buffy and the rest of us?”

Xander had never wanted the Hellmouth to open up and swallow him whole before, but he made an exception this moment. If he told, he was sure to lose at least one friend, and judging by Willow’s power and moods, possibly other things less replaceable. His voice rose at least an octave. “What could I know?”

Dawn glared at him. “If you know where he went and haven’t said anything, I’ll show you uses for your tools that you never dreamed of. You’re Buffy’s friend, not mine!”

Buffy didn’t even correct her sister’s rant so intent was she on watching her friend’s face contort. He looked as if he would cry in desperation and fear. “You didn’t do anything I’ll have to hurt you for, did you?”

“NO! I didn’t do anything to the bleached wonder, I swear!” He was trapped and looked it, with his furtive and desperate looks to the sweet release promised by the open door.

Tara turned to Giles and offered, “We have all the tools we need for a simple truth spell, Giles. Should I set it up?”

“Okay, okay! It wasn’t me! I was only there to back her up. She said we were just going to warn Undead Junior to back off Buffy and not take advantage of her emotional issues. That’s all I signed on for, I swear it.” He turned large pleading eyes on Buffy, begging for forgiveness and understanding.

“She who?” Dawn demanded, her heart filled with dread at the answer she could have predicted.

“Buffy, you know we love you. We’ve been there for you since your first day in school here. We’d die for you. Neither of us would ever want to see you hurt.” He was practically crying. Buffy’s stony face was not offering any hope of forgiveness, even in the face of his mea culpas.

“Ahn, tell them, tell them how I agreed with you to just let this work itself out and not interfere!”

“And yet you did. You decided to make my decisions for me as if I were a child.” Buffy’s voice had never been colder. “What did Willow do, because I’m getting the definite vibe my houseguest has a lot to do with this.”

“She’ll kill me…or worse!” Xander looked about wildly. “Yes, it was Willow. I don’t know what she did, not really. She said some words and got all black streaky with her hair and then Spike went away.”

“Went away how? ‘Walk out the door and down the street’ went away or more ‘poof, he’s gone’ went away? And, Xander, do be specific.” Buffy was not taking prisoners.

“Without the poofiness, just gone. One minute he was messing around in your kitchen and telling us to sod off, and the next he was just gone.” Buffy’s eyes were huge and wet with unshed tears. “I wanted to say something that night, but Willow is seriously scary. I think I’m getting an ulcer over this and I don’t even like the guy.”

“You’re not helping your case here,” Tara suggested. “Don’t you think it would have been the right thing to let someone know Willow was not just abusing magic, but that she was abusing it to the harm of others…or is this like the time you summoned the dancing demon and kept still while people burned?”

“Still coming with me, Tara? Now I have a personal reason to hunt down a certain witch. Maybe if you’re with me you can keep me from killing her.” Buffy motioned towards the open door. She turned to Xander then. “Go home, Xander. I can’t deal with you right now. Maybe we can talk later, but right now I just cannot even look at you.”

A shamefaced Xander started to leave, Anya in tow, when Giles asked, “Do you remember any of the words she spoke? Buffy, I fully understand how you feel just now, but the more I know of Willow’s words and actions, the better able I will be to try to set this right.”

“Fine. I’ll be back after I get some answers of my own. Dawn, if you don’t want to be around Xander at the moment, I give you permission to go to Janice’s for the night. We’ve got enough dark energy in the house without you adding yours.”

Buffy gave Giles a stare that chilled him to the bone. “You WILL get Spike back.” It was not a question or a request.

~~~

Giles looked at yet another text, his eyes blurring from overuse. “The boy can quote entire passages from dreadful science fiction films but cannot remember a word spoken by his best friend during a moment of high drama,” he snorted in disgust.

Xander’s physical description of Willow had been more than enough to put Giles on notice that the girl’s powers had far exceeded anything he had imagined. “Would that her control had kept measure.”

Reluctantly, he made a call to Athenea for some advice and information and came back with a bit more. Perhaps he would need what they had given and perhaps not, but Giles was mightily glad he would have it should the need arise. He understood the fear Xander was experiencing and felt its cold finger trace a line up his spine. ‘This is not good at all.’

As he refilled his glass with the last of Joyce’s good Scotch, he regretted wasting it at a time when adrenaline countered its normally soothing effects. The house was empty save for himself, but even so peace certainly did not reign. There was a storm coming, one that he only hoped they would all survive. His understanding of Buffy’s burden pressed down on him as he felt the weight of the outcome settle firmly on his shoulders.

“Wouldn’t mind one of those myself, Watcher.” Spike secretly relished the fright his unexpected appearance would give the man.

“Good Lord! SPIKE!” Giles blamed his slightly inebriated state for his being startled. Certainly he had seen far more unexpected things in his lifetime than a missing vampire popping out of nowhere. “How? Where?”

“How’s due to Red. Where’s thankfully NOT due to Red or I wouldn’t be here. She had a right nasty destination in mind for me. Seems the witch has caught the eye of Buffy’s real boss and they changed my travel plans. Not too pleased with some of the mojo Willow’s been doin’ and even less with what’ll happen if she’s not stopped. Yours truly got picked to be messenger boy. Not here, is she?”

Giles shook his head. “No, Buffy and Tara are out trying to stop Willow from further rampaging about Sunnydale creating havock. I was intent on retrieving you for Buffy.”

Spike’s eyes softened at his love’s name. “How’s my girl?”

Giles raised an eyebrow but didn’t bother to disagree with Spike’s claim on Buffy’s heart. “Much better actually. The ritual was successful and she is the same Buffy she would have been prior to her death. The counselor has been helping her with the earlier issues of abandonment and grief. All in all, she is happier than she has been in years.”

Spike looked crestfallen to think his absence had mattered so little and Giles clearly read his mind. “I do not mean to imply your disappearance has not had an impact. In fact, she has been single-minded in discovering where you have been. She has decided that your character, such as it is, would not allow you to merely leave without word and she has been seeking to discover what must have been done against your will to remove you from her presence. This has strengthened her resolve and kept her spirits up.” Giles smiled fondly. “She is rather focused when a mission involves someone she cares for, as you must remember.”

Giles suddenly remembered Spike’s explanation for how he had returned seemingly on his own power or at least without any magic from any of them. “You said that Willow is about to do something so shattering that powerful beings have decided to interfere. What can you tell me of this?”

“Buckle up, Rupes, this could be a rough ride,” Spike warned and settled in the armchair. Giles’ last shot of single malt quickly made its way down the vampire’s throat, bringing the warmth he always relished. “Know much about Egyptian gods?”

~~~

Amy and Willow were giggling and staggering as if drunk. “Did you see the look on that kid when you made his mom float to the top of the food court? Priceless. Not gonna forget that in, like, ever.”

“Woman was full of hot air anyway. It was just nature let loose and isn’t that part of magic?” Willow grinned at the memory and the delightful feel of power coursing so easily from her, manipulating the world around her without even requiring her concentration. “She had no business telling us what to do. No one does.”

“Wonder how many bones she broke landing,” Amy snickered.

“Nothing important,” Willow dismissed any concern with a wave.

“Well, well, look who’s here?” Amy pointed across the mall to a clearly disapproving and angry Slayer and a horrified Tara.

“Shit!” Willow felt a slight flush seeing her reunion plans evaporate in the haze of magic she knew Tara was fully aware of.

“Just do a spell and she’ll come ‘round,” Amy suggested.

“NO. I want her back because she wants to be. It’s not love if you force them.” Willow might have a far different view of many things, but that was one constant. “Might as well have a TaraBot if I force her back. No, I’ll have to make her understand, but I won’t make her love me.”

“Looks like we’ve scared off all the Muggles at least,” Amy giggled. She shot a nervous look at the Slayer and then at her companion. “Think I need to hit the road too. See ya.” She was gone in a flash.

“Having a little fun, Willow?” Buffy’s tone made it clear what she thought of the chaos surrounding them.

“Working off a little steam, yeah,” Willow’s voice was defiant, but the glance she shot Tara showed a bit of nervousness. “I guess Amy isn’t a good influence” That last bit was a gambit. Tara hopefully would take it and place the blame on the other girl for Willow’s excesses.

“I’d say no,” Buffy agreed. “Tell me, was Amy there when you sent my lover away?”

Willow gave a quick look of shock that the Slayer had found out. ‘Damn! I was sure Xander could keep his big trap shut.’ She quickly disguised her surprise and put on a calm, nearly smug look. “Always looking out for my friend’s best interest.” She affected a look of concern. “You’ve had enough heartache, Buffy. No way could I watch you be manipulated like that and not take action. You’d protect me the same way.”

“Willow, that’s just not true and you know it!” Tara was livid. “Your problem with Spike hasn’t got anything to do with protecting Buffy. It’s all about him being onto you and making others see it.”

Willow’s skin began to crackle and spark as the energy built up within her. Her hair streaked as if a bottle of ink had landed on her head and her eyes were huge and black in a face filled with fury. “Well, I guess you’re judge and jury then. I think you’re both just jealous.”

“Of what? YOU?” Buffy snorted. “I have someone who accepts me and loves me so much that he had to be driven away. You had someone like that and you drove her away yourself. You’re only making it worse, you know. Tara sees you really clearly and unlike Spike with me, she doesn’t like what she sees at all. Neither do I.”

Bright purple bolts of energy shot from Willow’s fingertips and flung the Slayer into the tables of the food court, upending them and burying Buffy in metal chairs.

“WILLOW!” Tara moved towards her former girlfriend tentatively.

Willow’s head snapped sideways and she flashed a warning to the other witch. ”Back off, Tara. This isn’t your fight. You know I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t want to hurt Buffy either. She’s your best friend.”

Buffy managed to fling the rubble off of her and made a rush at Willow from behind, knocking her to the marbled tile and landing on top of her. “Get off, superbitch!” Willow warned. She threw Buffy off, causing her to fly into a food counter and knocking the wind from the Slayer as the glass and food flew.

The two former friends began to exchange blows as Willow followed the flying Slayer across the room. Tara watched in horror as neither girl pulled any punches.

“You have to stop this, Willow! We can help you.” Buffy still wanted to save what was left of her friend if possible.

“So noble, Slayer, trying to save your friend even while you’re getting the stuffing knocked out of you,” Willow taunted. “Kinda cute yet sad.”

“What’s sad is seeing someone with so many wonderful things going for her throw it all away for a power rush,” Buffy countered.

The blows were flying fast and furious yet neither was going down. Tara watched, her hand over her mouth, though whether to stop a scream or vomit was in question.

“I’m a Slayer; it’s what I do. I protect the innocent, even if it’s from themselves,” Buffy explained.

“So you’re gonna show me what a Slayer is?” Willow laughed and more magical energy hit Buffy, breaking her hold on Willow and pushing her into the wall.

Tara had had enough. She grabbed Willow’s arm and tried to make her turn to face her and allow Buffy to regain her balance and strength. “Stop it, Willow! Stop it all now!”
Willow didn’t think, didn’t even turn around, but the magic shot from her and into Tara, knocking the girl into a pillar and onto the floor.

“TARA!” Both Buffy and Willow screamed the girl’s name at the same time and rushed to her prone form.

“Oh goddess!” Willow’s hair had gone red even as her face paled to deathly white. “What did I do?” Just as quickly, she changed attitude. She let a hard edge come into her voice and accused, “What did you MAKE me do? Sweetie, you should have stayed out of it and let me just send Buffy back where she wants to be.”

Buffy took the moment of Willow’s conflicted emotions to deliver a blow that made her out of control friend join Tara in the land of the unconscious.

“Need to get you to Giles before you wake up all fresh and ready for round two.”

~~~

“So Willow’s actions have not been solely her responsibility,” Giles concluded at the end of Spike’s revelations.

“Wouldn’t say that. No outside force caused her to dabble in the dark. Wasn’t some ancient Egyptian travel guide caused her to sacrifice an animal or call on forces beyond her understandin’ to demand what she ought not. Person opens those doors can’t cry over what comes in.”

“Yes, I am familiar with those dangers.” From the tone of voice Giles used, Spike knew he was referring to something quite personal. “Once something is loosed, it is no longer an issue of one’s original intentions.”

Spike had been watching the Watcher closely since his arrival. The air in the house fairly crackled with magical energy. Spike had been chalking that up to Willow residing there coupled with the ritual he knew had just been performed on Buffy. Now, however, he sensed there was more and all of it centered on the man sitting across from him.

“Got a feeling someone other than Willow’s been dabblin’ of late. Anything you want to share with the class, Rupert?”

“I have been in touch with one of the world’s most powerful covens. They have felt the vibrations emanating from Willow all the way across the miles. Their seers have also been given some warning, nothing specific like the information you have given me, but dire enough to cause them to contact me while I was in London. They are willing to deal with Willow in a positive manner if I can get her to them, and that is what I fully intend to do.” Giles looked uneasy, and if Spike weren’t mistaken, more than a bit guilty.

“I should never have allowed her study of spells and rituals to go unsupervised. Lord knows there were enough warnings along the way that she was adept, and combined with her own emotional weaknesses, her insecurities and desire to bend everything and everyone that matters to her to her will, supposedly for their own good…well…I should have done something long ago.”

“If you’re lookin’ to me to disagree and make you feel better, don’t hold your breath. You’re the adult here. Seems to me you’ve been lettin’ the kiddies have their way for years. When they started actin’ up or got too needy, you just left for safer ground. Plannin’ on stayin’ and seein’ this through now or gonna pull another runner soon as Red’s been subdued?”

“I shall accompany Willow to Devon of course, but, no, I shan’t be leaving Buffy again. You were right, I am needed.” Giles snorted a laugh. “You should have seen the nonsense they came up with to try to explain your disappearance as they researched! I am needed for that if nothing else. How Buffy could accept Xander’s ventures into comic books, science fiction films and gaming books for role-playing characters as viable research material boggles the mind!”

“So the carpenter played dumb, eh?” Giles nodded with a frown. “Not too far a stretch for him. You do know he was there when Willow played vamp travel agent, right?” Spike’s voice held both a touch of bitterness and disappointment. He had his memories of a kinder, more accepting Xander from that last year before they took on the FE in the Hellmouth.

Spike tried to steer the conversation back to his question about the magic permeating the house. “You didn’t answer my question. Got a reason why the hairs on my body are standing up from all the energy in this room?”

Giles gave him a lopsided grin. “I placed a call to the coven to apprise them of the situation as I knew it. They had already noted a dangerous increase in magical power coming from two sources here at the Hellmouth. It seems Willow has been in a symbiotic relationship of power sharing with a mage here in town. The coven has assured me of his intent; his heart is pure evil and merely severing his connection with Willow will not solve this problem in the making. I will need to neutralize him as well. The conduit to the Old Ones will end when he is kept from Willow, but he is powerful in his own right.”

“Yeah, this Rack bloke…I’ve heard of him before. I can deal with him easy enough. Be a pleasure, in fact, him havin’ scared the Bit like he did,” Spike mused.

“The members of the coven have temporarily joined their collective powers to my own. I should be more than able to counter any magics Willow may choose to loose upon the world. I would, however, prefer to contain the battleground to as small an area as possible.”

“Yeah, if you play out Merlin vs. Madame Mimm, more than polka dotted dragons are likely to pop up,” Spike quipped with a grin. “Most of Sunnydale’s likely to get a rare eyeful if that gets out of hand.

“With a less than Disney film result, yes.” Giles had to grin in return at the image presented by Spike’s apt analogy.

“Speaking of the possibility of an actual magical confrontation with Willow…,” Giles bit his lip as his mind pictured all the different things that could go wrong. “It might be best if you were not present. Removing you once again, or dusting you in the worst case scenario, would turn a bad situation into utter chaos by dragging Buffy into the fray.”

“I’m touched, Rupes,” Spike teased. “You actually called my bein’ dust a worst case scenario. Should we pick out the china next week?”

Giles glared at the snickering vampire. “You know full well that I wish anyone but you were the object of Buffy’s affections. You are not worthy of her and you never will be. But I have resigned myself to the reality. I can but hope that one day she will see you for what you are and dispose of you at long last. Until that time, I will hold my peace and do all I can to protect and support my Slayer.”

Spike idly wondered if the Giles in his original timeline had changed his view of him even after he had offered himself up as a burnt sacrifice in the Hellmouth. Judging by his attitude that year he worked at Angel’s side, Spike doubted he had. ‘No soul to guide me. Maybe just filter things through Buffy. What would she want? Loves this old bugger, so she’d want peace.’ He sighed before trying a bit of unaccustomed diplomacy. “Can’t argue that. Know I don’t deserve her. I will do right by her though, and if she ever does decide she wants out, I still will never hurt her. Any hurting of the girl I ever did is in the past now. Not gonna let it happen again. Stake myself first. That good enough for you?”

“Suppose it will have to be. I do assure you, Spike, if you ever DO harm her, I will gladly make sure you are blowing in the wind before you can even blink an eye.”

~~~

Spike retreated to Buffy’s bedroom as the Watcher had suggested. Having him in the room as a potential target for the out of control witch would just result in more hurt for Buffy. He could get the drop on Willow if he needed to join in, but he didn’t want to be a distraction for Buffy any more than become a target for more of Willow’s wrath. Time enough to let Buffy know he was back once Willow was no longer a threat.

He had barely closed the door to the bedroom when the front door banged open below. “Giles, need a hand here!” It was Buffy carrying Willow fireman style while a very white-faced Tara followed. There was a slow trickle of blood from a gash on Tara’s forehead and she appeared more than a bit dazed, but at least the gentle girl was still ambulatory.

Buffy placed her burden on the couch none too gently. “Maybe you can get her to tell us where she sent Spike.”

Before Giles could reassure Buffy that Spike was currently just a flight upstairs from her, Willow began to come around. “I gotta tell ya…I get it now. The Slayer thing really isn’t about the violence.” She launched an attack on Buffy, making quick ruin of the living room. “It’s about the power.”

A bolt of energy flew from Willow, lifting Buffy and throwing her into the desk. She slid across and landed on the floor next to it, groaning in pain. Willow stalked across the floor looking pleased with herself. Buffy didn’t get up, having nearly depleted her energy from the earlier fight and then helping get both girls to Revello drive. She was exhausted. The nights without sleep didn’t help either.

“There’s no one in the world with the power to stop me now.” She threw a defiant look at the Watcher in the archway.

A huge blast of green magic energy hit Willow as Giles raised his hand to her at long last. She flew away from Buffy, landing on the open floor and sliding into the foyer. As she came to a stop, she looked up with murder in her eyes and blood trickling from her nose.

“I suppose we’re about to test that theory.” Giles voice was stern and brooked no nonsense. “You must stop what you are doing and stop it now, Willow.”

Willow glared at the Watcher and wiped the blood from under her nose, “Unh unh. No can do. I’m not finished yet.” She struggled to her feet.

“Neither am I,” Giles retorted and made a slight movement of his hand that sent Willow back to the floor. “Stay down.”

Willow looked at him, calculating her odds, “That’s borrowed power,” she concluded with a brittle laugh. “No way is that gonna be strong enough.”

Giles tried one last time to reason with her. “I’m here to help you.”

“Thanks, but I’ve got this one,” Willow snarked. “You should just go back to the bleachers and watch. I mean, that’s what you Watchers are good at, right, watching? Butting in on things that don’t concern you?”

“Both you and Buffy do concern me, Willow.” Giles kept his voice modulated with no emotion showing through. From his peripheral vision he saw that Buffy had finally recouped her strength and was standing at his back. “Stay on this path and you’ll wind up dead.”

Buffy joined in the verbal match. “Willow, listen to him. I don’t want to fight you anymore.”

“I don’t want to fight you either,” Willow conceded and pointed at Giles. “I want to fight him.”

Willow started to get up and Giles made the hand gesture once more, but this time Willow was ready for him and blocked it with one of her own. “No!” Her voice was cold.

Despite himself, Giles betrayed a bit of fear. ‘Lord, I hope the combined powers of the coven and my own rusty addition will be enough.’ Buffy moved closer to him in an offer of silent support.

“Remember how you’ve been questioning my abilities to channel magic properly? Back when you were under the delusion that you were still relevant here, you called me a rank amateur.” Willow was looking smug and fearless.

Giles watched with increasing unease as light began to illuminate the witch’s body and her eyes once more went black as night. A humming noise began to rise from no particular location. “Well, don’t worry about me, Rupert, ‘cause I’ve gone pro. Asmodea! Bring forth--”

Giles made a quick movement and shouted, “Vincire!!” A band of green energy formed around Willow, lifting her from the ground as it encased her in the magical glow.

Willow struggled in her green prison and used all the spells at her disposal to break free, but to no avail.

Buffy’s brow furrowed as she looked Giles in wonder. “What did you do?”

“I contained her and her powers within a binding field. It will put her in a form of stasis while we regroup.”

~~~

It had been all Spike could do to stay upstairs while all hell broke loose below. He had to constantly remind himself that his presence would endanger Buffy more than help her.
Now with Willow safely cocooned in Giles’ magic, he dared make his presence known. The look on his girl’s face was more than enough reassurance that he truly had been missed.

“Spike!” She turned a teary gaze on Giles. “Thank you!”

He shrugged and admitted, “I had nothing to do with it, actually. You can thank the Powers That Be for both Spike’s return and for keeping him from being sent to the dimension Willow had planned.”

Buffy was in Spike’s arms the moment his feet were off the staircase. “Oh God, I’ve missed you! I was so worried. Are you really all right?” She began to run her hands over his body as if to check that all was right with him and to reassure herself that he was indeed there.

“’M fine, love. Not goin’ anywhere.” He nuzzled into her neck, raining kisses over her.

Buffy felt the relief rush through her and leaned hard against Spike. He immediately put an assisting arm around her and led her to the couch. The last of her reserves finally gone, she gratefully sank into the cushions and pulled Spike down at her side. “Start talking,” she demanded with a giggle. “I never thought I’d miss hearing your voice so much, seeing your face.” She ran trembling fingers over said face reverently.

“’K, guess I should start with an explanation ‘bout where I wound up.” He gave a quick glance at the contained witch and asked Giles,” She gonna be safely tied up there?”

Tara, who had been standing next to Willow’s floating form, reassured him, “Yes, Spike.
Willow’s power was running down anyway and this field will hold.”

“Right, then. Okay, kiddies, wanna gather round and get comfy, ‘cause I’m only gonna tell the tale this one final time.”

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