Blast from the Past by Zarrah

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Chapter 8

Spike took a long draw from his smoke, staring at the building and trying to build enough nerve up to actually get off his bike and go inside. He knew Buffy was in there, waiting just inside the door somewhere and the moment of truth was close at hand.

He'd been sitting in the parking lot for over ten minutes trying to go over exactly what he would say when he saw her. He knew she wasn't going to be happy at first, but hoped after a little explanation of why he hadn't told her who he was from the beginning; she would see things from his perspective and not castrate him on sight.

Sighing heavily, he stood, throwing his cigarette to the ground before he straightened his shoulders and walked confidently toward the building. The nervous feelings in his gut churned slightly when he reached the door before grabbing the handle and pulling it open.

"Hi, welcome to Riverdale Highs class reunion. Would you please sign in and find your badge," Melissa said cheerfully when Spike walked through the door.

Spike looked over at her before he reached into his pocket, pulling his ticket out and tossing it on the table as he walked by.

"Hey, wait a minute, you need to sign in!" Melissa yelled, standing from her seat. She watched his retreating form before glancing at Tracy.

"Who the hell is that?" Tracy asked, a huge smile on her face as she watched the black clad figure walk down the hall.

"I don't know. He didn't look familiar."

"I'll say," Tracy said, grinning, "I sure as hell would have remembered him."

Melissa sat back down, her eyes still riveted on Spike before he rounded the corner and was out of sight.

"Hurry, look and see who hasn't shown up yet. Maybe we can figure out who he is," she said giggling before she and Tracy dove into the remaining name badges, trying to find the classmate they hadn't recognized.

Spike walked slowly down the hall, stopping at the large easel sat up to hold all the information on the planned events. He scanned the schedule, seeing they were to first report to the lobby, where they would meet till everyone was accounted for before they would enter the dining room. He noted the time and saw that the meet and greet was over before glancing at the printed floor plan.

Looking down the hall and turning, he headed for the dining area and to the woman who would probably hate him forever.

* * * *
Buffy allowed herself to be led down the hall, her mind going a thousand miles a minute while she tried to process the information in her head. Her logical self kept saying it wasn't possible, but the reasonable side, kept seeing the sharp features that graced his face, the full lips she still had trouble forgetting and the piercing blue eyes that seemed to pull her into a place made for her and her alone.

The low rumble of voices barely registered when Willow guided her into the dining hall and towards their table. Anya's loud voice carried over the chatter in the room. Her heated protest about the seating arrangements gained the eye of almost everyone in the room.

"You are not sitting there," Anya said, loudly.

"Sorry sweetheart, but this is my seat," Xander said, grinning.

"Well, just because you have to sit at our table, doesn't mean I have to sit beside you," she said, before going over to the other empty chairs.

"They're assigned, Anya," Harmony said, rolling her eyes at Anya's behavior.

"Like I care," she said, looking at the name cards at each setting.

Willow found her seat, sitting down beside Cordelia as Buffy found hers and sat too.

She looked up when she heard voices and her anger vanished. She was suddenly face-to-face with the one person she didn't want to see again.

"Hey, Buffy."

Her old high school flame, Angel, gave her his all too familiar hundred-watt smile before pulling out his chair, sitting down quietly as his date grabbed the chair next to him.

"Hey Angel," Buffy said, trying not to stare but finding it difficult not too. The whole table seemed to calm down immediately.

She knew she would run in to him again and dreaded it from the time she received the announcement of the reunion. But looking at her old high school sweetheart, she felt absolutely nothing. He wasn't even as good looking as she remembered.

She wondered how'd she feel seeing him again and now that he sat two chairs over from her, he was just a guy who held memories to her past. Nothing more.

He stared back at her, and a slow smile began to form on her face when she realized she'd been worried for nothing. No remaining feelings were there unless she counted her remorse at losing so much sleep when they'd broken up. Her friends were all in a tizzy at the time. It just didn't look right if one of the most popular was without a steady beau.

She almost rolled her eyes at her last thought. Her friends, although she loved them dearly, were the shallowest people she had ever known.

Anya walked around the table before grabbing the chair beside Buffy. She sat down between her and Angel's date, smiling before looking down at the place setting. Her eyes widened, a small grin curving her lips before saying, "You know what? I think my seat was just fine."

Buffy watched her stand back up and walk back around the table, sitting down between Xander and Cordelia. She leaned over, whispering something to Cordelia before they burst out laughing.

Reaching over to the place setting next to her, Buffy picked up the name card and felt her heartbeat once again quicken at the name of the person assigned to sit beside of her. William Gregory was printed on the card. "Remind me to find the person responsible for the seating arrangements before we leave," she said hatefully, flinging the card back down and slumping back in her seat.

* * * *

Spike stood in the hall, reading the seating arrangement before glancing at the last few people walking into the dining hall. He couldn't believe his luck. Okay, maybe luck was being a little too optimist. He knew whoever made the seating arrangements had done this out of pure spite.

No matter, he thought. She was where he was headed anyway.

"This is it," he said softly to himself. This was the minute he'd been dreading since first laying eyes on Buffy back at the club.

Taking a deep breath, Spike let it out slowly, straightening his shoulders before turning and walking through the door.

* * * *

"Holy shit, Buffy! That man is turning into a regular stalker!" Anya said, grinning.

Buffy turned her head, looking over her shoulder and she clenched her jaw when she saw Spike walking toward them. It really was him. She tried to convince herself she was wrong, but as he walked across the room and held her gaze, she knew better.

"Hell, if my stalkers looked like that, I wouldn't feel the need to have them locked up all the time," Cordelia said, smiling as Spike approached the table.

"No doubt about that one."

The girls all smiled when Spike finally made it to the table, pulling the chair beside of Buffy out and sitting down.

"Hey Spike, you aren't following Buffy, now are you?" Anya asked. "Not that she would mind, now would you, Buffy?"

Buffy sat staring at Spike, unable to look away. She could see it clearly now, the quiet shy boy that used to blush every time she smiled at him.

The look in his eyes wasn't the same as it had been earlier that day. His entire demeanor was different. The badass, cocky man she'd met the day before, was gone. Now, he was William, just wearing Spike's clothes. The insecure boy who followed her around finally emerged, and she felt her anger wavering slightly as she looked at him.

"How did you get in here anyway?" Anya asked, staring at Spike.

"Through the door," Spike told her, tearing his eyes away from Buffy and looking at the others.

"How'd you find us? You left the store before we did."

Spike ignored their questions, looking back over at Buffy. He stared at her for a few minutes, turning in his seat slightly before saying, "Buffy can I talk to you...in private? There's something I need to tell you."

"Yeah, something you should have told me two days ago," Buffy snapped, her voice louder than she had intended.

Buffy saw Cordelia and Anya both glance at each other, one of them whispering, "he said her name again," before Anya spoke up. "Uh, Spike, we've kind of been wondering how you knew Buffy's name."

"He knew it because he already knew me. Just like he knows all of your names."

"Huh?" Cordelia and Anya both said simultaneously.

"Isn't that right…William?" Buffy said, her head leaning to the side she looked at him. The anger resurfaced and she took a deep breath to try and calm down. She waited for him to deny it. Waited for him to tell her she was crazy and she never wanted anything more in her life.

When Spike sighed heavily and looked at her, she knew. "I wanted to tell you," he said softly, his eyes darting away briefly before he looked back up at her.

"Then why didn't you?"

"Wait a minute!" Anya said loudly, getting everyone's attention. "Would someone like to run that last bit by me one more time `cause it sounded a whole lot like you said his name was William."

"That's because I did," Buffy said. "Girls, you remember William, don't you?"

Anya stared across the table at Spike for a few minutes before she giggled, the sound abruptly stopping before her eyes widened. "William? William Gregory?"

Buffy nodded her head in confirmation before Anya laughed again and yelled, "You're William Gregory!"

The noise in the room vanished completely. Everyone in the dining hall turned to stare at them.

Spike sighed again, looking at Buffy for a minute longer before turning towards Anya. "Yes, you remember don't you? Tall, glasses, the one you and your friends made a daily habit of torturing with your constant taunting."

Anya shook her head, looking at the others at the table before turning her attention back to Spike. "William Gregory? You're William Gregory?"

"Yes Anya, I'm William Gregory," Spike said irritated.

Anya stared at him for a few seconds before she laughed loud and boisterously, the sound bouncing off the walls around the room before she stopped abruptly and yelled, "No Fucking Way!"

* * * *

No matter how upset Buffy was at the situation, she couldn't help but be amused at Anya's reaction. The look on her face was priceless, her loud outburst sending the entire room into a frenzy of hushed whispers. There wasn't a person in the room that wasn't focused in on them…or more specifically…Spike.

The others at the table sat in stunned silence, each of them undoubtedly trying to grasp the concept that Spike, the guy they had all practically drooled over and made lewd comments about all weekend, was William. Every person at the table sat gob-smacked. They stared at the now completely transformed man sitting with them.

Buffy looked around her, seeing every eye in the room on them before she looked back at Anya and said, "Anya, sit down."

Anya stared at Spike with her mouth gaping open, her eyes wide. She blinked a few times, finally looking over at Buffy before she started to laugh.

Buffy sighed heavily, looking around the room when Anya fell back in her chair holding her stomach. Her laughter rang out through the banquet hall and the longer Anya laughed, the madder Buffy became.

"Cordelia, make her shut up before I hurt her."

No one moved. Buffy gritted her teeth, listening to Anya before she saw Willow stand. She grabbed Anya's arm and pulled her from the chair before guiding her out of the room.

Buffy watched them go, noticing that everyone's attention was still on them. She rolled her eyes. It didn’t matter how much time past; people still gawked.

Looking back over at Spike, she noticed the change in him instantly. The muscle in his jaw ticked, his fists were clenched tight, and his eyes were hard and cold. He stared down at the table, his body still, and quiet. He'd sat there throughout Anya's whole hysterical laughing without saying a word.

He didn't look scared anymore. He looked angry as hell. And Buffy felt horrible. She realized by the look on his face that what he'd just been subjected to wasn't anything he hadn’t suffered through before. Laughter, at his expense, all because of her. He spent two years being the butt of everyone's jokes for one reason or another. Now ten years later, he still was.

"William Gregory?"

Buffy turned to Angel the same time Spike did and she wanted to slap her ex. After ten years he was still just as immature as her friends were. He sat there, laughing at Spike and she felt her heart break a little bit more for him. Why did they still do this? Treat him like he was…nobody.

She looked back over at Spike. She saw the same hurt look she witnessed more times than she cared to remember cross his face before his jaw twitched and he straightened in his seat. The pain in her heart for this man was nothing compared to the way he probably felt. Reaching out, she laid her hand on his arm just as he turned to her. "Spike."

"Forget it, Buffy," Spike spat out hatefully, jerking his arm away. "I thought maybe ten years was enough time for you and your friends to get over yourselves. Apparently I was wrong." He stood and turned, walking away from the table.

"Spike wait," she said, quickly standing up from her seat and following him. She couldn't let him leave like that. She knew the hurt look on his face was once again her fault and she wasn't about to let it end like this. She wasn't the same girl anymore. She owed him something for all those years of torment he'd taken because of her, regardless of his motives in not telling her who he was. He deserved more than laughter and ridicule.

Spike stopped, turning back before taking a step closer to her, anger now replacing his obvious pain. "Oh, before I forget," he said leaning down close to her ear. "Thanks for the fuck. It was quite a memory. The next time you have an itch you need to scratch, you know where to find me."

Buffy's eyes flew open at his harsh words before Spike stood up straight and smiled at her before turning and walking to the door. Every eye in the room was trained on her and when the whispers from everyone watching the scene started, her anger resurfaced.

"Do you people not have anything better to do!" she yelled before taking off after Spike.

* * * *

Spike didn't know what pissed him off more. The fact that things had actually gone worse than he expected or that his chances of having anything other than a quick fuck with Buffy were over. Or the familiar fact that he was once again left feeling like the odd man out while the "in" crowd got their laugh.

He walked through the door of the dining hall, hearing the whispers of everyone before Buffy yelled. He held back a smile. Bout time the girl spoke up for herself. His shoulders were straight, his stride sure and no matter how confident he looked in his departure, all he could think of was the tears that stung at his eyes.

He buried William a long time ago, covering the weak, shy boy he used to be with the strong, cocky man who didn't take shit from anyone. Now, not ten minutes after entering the room, all his insecurities resurfaced and he cursed himself for even trying to be seen as anything other than what they thought him to be.

He'd known coming back here would be a mistake, especially after seeing Buffy again, but the insane notion that she had grown up and started living for herself and not just to impress her friends made him think that maybe she wouldn't care. That maybe, she would be able to see past what her friends thought, and make a decision on her own.

He should have known better.

Reaching inside his jacket, Spike searched for his smokes, pulling them from his pocket, only to have them snatched away and a hand grab his arm and jerk him back.

"Just where the hell do you get off!" Buffy yelled, glaring hard up at him. "You think you can just waltz in here, flash some cocky grin and then just leave without even an explanation."

Spike sighed heavily as he stared down at the now red-faced blonde before him. Her eyes were glassy and she was trembling, her anger at him apparent by the look on her face. "What do you want me to say, luv?"

"First off, I'm not your luv," Buffy began, "And how about...oh, I don't know, why you forgot to mention that you were William Gregory! And don't even get me started on that rude-ass comment in there."

Spike shoved his hands deep inside his jacket pockets and leaned against the wall. "The comment was a cheap shot and I don't exactly remember you telling me `your' name at the time."

"You knew who I was! The fact that you knew should have...."

"Should have what!" Spike said loudly, pushing off the wall and taking a step towards her. "Should have made me crawl at your feet, whining like some pathetic fool to try and get your attention? Sorry gorgeous, but I don't play that game anymore."

"What game is that, William? Your attempts to woo me with your useless poetry or following me around like some lost puppy trying to find a home," she ranted before she started to pace the floor.

"You know my mother told me! She said, `Buffy, don't go sleeping around, it'll only get you into trouble.' Why did I not believe her?" she asked no one as she continued to make short laps up and down the hall. "I mean I know people have casual sex all the time...but not me! Not Buffy Summers!" she yelled, half laughing as she stopped to look at Spike before returning to her one sided conversation.

"What was I thinking?" she yelled to herself, "I mean sure you looked good and all, and the dancing was…but I mean, I had sex with you! A complete stranger! Unprotected I might add!" She yelled as she shot daggers at Spike. "Twice!"

Spike watched her pace the hall in front of him yelling and flinging her arms around. She looked like she was talking more to herself than to him. He knew she would be upset, but he didn’t expect this. She was furious.

"I should have just stayed at home! I didn't even want to go to that stupid club," Buffy said, sparing a glance over at Spike. "I should have just listened to myself for once and done exactly that!"

Spike snorted at her comment. "That's always been your problem."

"What?" Buffy yelled, stopping to turn around.

He looked completely calm lounging against the wall and when he turned his head to look at her, she could see his disposition change in a matter of seconds.

"I said, that's always been your problem," Spike repeated.

"And what is that, oh wise one?" Buffy asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Spike shook his head, laughing lightly before pushing off the wall and taking a few steps closer to her. "You, following that little herd of hyena's around and doing exactly what `they' want you to, that's what."

"I do what I want."

"Since when?" Spike asked, laughing. "You've always done exactly what your friends thought you should. You did it then, and ten years later, you're still doing it."

"For your information, this is the first time I've seen any of them in years."

"Yeah, and the minute you do, you fall right back into the pack, following orders like some confused groupie."

"I do not."

"Then tell me...why are you so upset?" Spike asked her. "Is it because of who I am, or is it because of who they think I am?"

Buffy stared up at him, completely lost for words. She'd always done exactly what they told her she should, even when she'd felt she should do differently. Her friends were all she had, what they thought mattered…at least she thought it did.

Spike sighed. "Buffy, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that the minute I saw you at the club that I didn't rejoice in the prospects that you'd finally be able to see me. Me, not who they thought I was," he told her calmly, closing the distance between them. "I have done nothing since the first day I saw you but hope that maybe, someday, you'd be able to see. To see past what everyone else thought. To see me for who I really am."

Buffy looked up at him and the quiet shy boy she remembered once again came shining through. The small voice and scared, almost terrified look in his eyes made her look away. She remembered all the things that had been done and said to him, things she didn't like, but stood by and let them happen...all because she felt powerless to stop them.

"Buffy."

Buffy closed her eyes briefly before she slowly opened them, looking up into the same blue depths that made her skin tingle and pull her into a world where nothing seemed to matter but her.

"You don't have to listen to them anymore," Spike said, quietly. "You can make your own choices."

"Spike, I don't…"

"No. I know what you're going to say Buffy and it shouldn't matter what your friends think. You can't tell me you didn't feel anything. I know you did. I could see it in your eyes."

Buffy glanced down the hall when she heard footsteps, seeing her friends finally emerge from the dining hall and she felt every ounce of breath leave her lungs when Spike reached out and turned her face back to him.

"They won't be here to run your life after tomorrow," he said, "Do what you want, Buffy. For once, make your own decision. Come with me."

Buffy swallowed hard, the lump forming in her throat making it difficult to swallow as her mouth went completely dry. She looked at him when he held his hand out to her and the fear in his eyes made her wish for the first time in her life that she'd had the strength to do what she'd wanted to ten years ago.

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned her head, looking back down the hall when Cordelia said her name. Her mind was cluttered with rights and wrongs and the line between the two was rapidly becoming confused.

She looked between her friends and Spike. She knew they all had their own reasons for wanting her to go with them and she was sure they would all be legitimate…right or wrong.

The question was…did she do what she wanted to do or what her friends thought was best.

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