Love and Death Embrace by Addie Logan

Summary: Once, William Pratt was a quiet poet, madly in love with his wife, Drusilla. Now, Spike is a loner, hunting in the night for the monster who took her away. He is focused on vengeance, making no room for anything else in his life – until his plan to get his revenge takes a turn he never could have predicted.

Author's Notes: Parts of this fic get very dark. There’s angst, there’s violence, there’s stuff that’s not altogether happy. It’s not all angst, but there is a good bit, especially in certain parts. If at any point it gets to be two much for you, you can do one of two things: stop reading, hold your breath and hope it gets better, or email me and ask me to answer any question you have about what’s coming up to see if it’s something you still want to read. (I’ll always answer those questions in private emails sent to addie_logan@yahoo.com. I will not answer them in a public forum like my livejournal or a review page. I don’t want to spoil the story for people who don’t want to know.)

However, what I ask you not to do is complain to me about things being too dark or tell me it’s too much for you. I have some readers who have problems with angst and some who don’t. I’m not going to shortchange the ones who do, or myself for that matter, because some people can’t take it. That’s not fair to anyone. So if you don’t like what I’m writing, then that’s your personal preference, and you’re free to read something else. I understand that, and I’m fine with it. I’m not fine with flame wars, nor am I fine with people harassing me, writing me threatening emails, or trash talking me around the internet. (And just so you know, I’m not paranoid – this has happened.)

So, to sum up – there is angst. If you like it, that’s cool, keep reading. If you don’t, that’s cool, too, you can quit reading. Or read with one eye covered. Or something. Just don’t flame me.

Chapter 13

Spike felt good. He was hovering on the edge of sleep and wakefulness, Buffy’s slight body pressed tightly to his as they lay entwined on the bed. She made a low, rumbling sound of pleasure as she nuzzled against his neck, licking and nipping the marks she’d left when she’d bitten him. It amazed him to note that her attentions were sending shocks of pleasure straight to his cock, and he groaned, tilting his neck to give her better access.

“Let me, Spike,” she whispered, her words hot as they blew against his ear. “Let me taste you again.”

He could feel the ridges in her forehead as she rubbed against him, and knew without any doubt that he was in bed with a demon. But that didn’t stop his desire for her, didn’t stop him from wanting to give her whatever she asked for. “Yes…” he moaned, surrendering to the sensual pleasure of her touch.

She rolled them over, straddling his waist. She lifted her head, a low growl rumbling through her small frame before she dove in towards his neck, biting over her own marks, and Spike bucked up, shouting in pained pleasure.

Buffy moaned, shifted her hips.

He slid inside of her…

Spike gasped, no doubt in his mind where the first few inches of his cock were now. He waited for her to pull up, to tell him to stop, or that she was too sore.

When she didn’t, he wrapped his hands around her hips and pushed up, sliding further into her body.

Buffy whimpered against his neck, but kept drinking, even as he began to lightly thrust, moving his cock in and out of her tight channel. She felt even better than he had imagined, his own body heat and the friction from their movements heating her up on the inside, warming her flesh.

He pushed his hips up off the bed, driving his cock all the way in, and Buffy’s fangs slid deeper into his flesh. Spike’s head was spinning, his body no longer able to separate pain and pleasure. All he knew was he wanted more of this…more of her.

She jerked up suddenly, her blood-stained lips falling open as she arched her back, coming around him with a strangled cry. Spike grabbed her hair, pulled her down to his lips and tasted his own blood as he kissed her. He used his free hand to push her hips down, holding her still on top of him as he groaned into her mouth and came hard.

Spike panted heavily, his hands falling to his sides as he came back down to earth. Buffy slid her mouth from his back to his neck, gently licking the wounds she’d given him until the bleeding had stopped. Then, she shifted, settling her head against his chest, sighing in contentment as Spike’s hand came up to stroke her hair.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I, baby?” Spike asked, his genuine concern apparent in his voice. “I didn’t mean for that to happen until you were better.”

“I am feeling better,” Buffy assured him. “I still have some healing left to do, but I don’t hurt like I did. And that…that felt good. Really good.”

Spike smiled. “I’m glad. It felt good for me, too. When you bite me…” He shook his head. “That’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.”

“I’m glad. I try to make it good for you. When…when Angelus bit me before I was turned, it just hurt. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’ve never hurt me, Buffy. I’m the one who’s…”

Buffy lifted her head and put her finger to Spike’s mouth. “Shh… Don’t now, baby. Don’t worry about any of it. It’s all already been forgiven.”

“I don’t know how you can give me that. You never deserved to suffer for his crimes. Not after what he did to you.”

She smirked at him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sure I deserved it for something.”

“Sweetheart…”

“Not so sweet,” Buffy insisted, hovering over him now. He could barely make out her face in the darkness, but her eyes were glinting, and he was fairly certain they were both clear now. “I’m very, very wicked.”

She slid down his body, engulfing his cock with her mouth before Spike could guess what she was about to do. He cried out in surprise, his hands digging in the sheets as he fought the urge to force her head down further.

It turned out he didn’t need to. Buffy slid down, and Spike’s eyes widened as he realized she was bringing him all the way in to the hilt. Never had a woman been capable of deepthroating him like this, and he let out a low string of curses, his breath coming out in fevered pants.

Buffy glanced up at him, smirking to herself at his expression before she began to swallow, her throat muscles milking every inch of him.

“Fuck!” Spike yelled, unable to keep his hips from bucking. He’d never given any thought to this particular use of a vampire’s lack of need for oxygen, but he was definitely glad for it now. Buffy was giving him the best damn blowjob of his life.

He moaned as her tiny hand wrapped around his balls, squeezing him tight enough to be just on the pleasure side of pain. He closed his eyes, panting heavily as his body rushed towards another mind numbing orgasm.

Suddenly, a low vibration surrounded him, and for a moment, Spike was too dazed to figure out what it was. Then, he realized what she was doing. Purring. Around his cock.

He blacked out when he came, the pleasure so intense that he didn’t know anything else. Her name was a roar ripped from his throat, and Buffy trembled at the sound of it, even as she drank him down.

She was beside him again, licking and nibbling at his chest when Spike was cognizant again. “Bleedin’ fuck, kitten,” he swore, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I gave you one of those,” Buffy replied with a giggle before softly biting his nipple.

Spike chuckled, his hand shaking as he brought it up to rest against her back. “I never knew vampires could purr,” he told her, his cock twitching slightly at just the memory of how that had felt.

“Only when we’re really, really happy,” Buffy replied.

“And sucking my cock makes you that happy?” Spike asked.

“Oh yeah,” Buffy said, the words forming a moan. “You taste sooo good. I don’t know what tastes better, your cum or your blood.”

Spike grabbed the back of her head and pulled her to him, growling out, “God, I love you,” before he crashed her lips down on hers.

Buffy purred again.

*** *** ***

The next time Buffy woke, she felt a significant difference in her body. While the pain was still present, it was nowhere near as intense as it had been, and she found that she could actually find a position that was comfortable.

The fact that that position was curled up in Spike’s arms certainly didn’t hurt matters.

He was still sleeping, and Buffy took the opportunity as her first to explore his features without interruption. He looked younger like this, the creases that usually lined his face gone in sleep. He was simply…beautiful. Buffy knew her former lover had been said to have the face of an angel, but the man she was looking at now had far more angelic features in her eyes. His high cheekbones and full lips were the most perfect she’d ever seen. In fact, the only imperfection she could find on his face at all was the scar that cut through his eyebrow, and even that did nothing for her but add to his allure.

She ran her fingertips over the mark, learning its contours. Spike shifted in his sleep before taking her hands and pulling them in under the covers, close to his body. “Cold hands,” he mumbled, his eyes still closed.

“Sorry,” Buffy replied.

“Mmm…s’okay. Means I get to warm them.” Spike pulled her closer, nuzzling against her hair as he rubbed her hands with his. “Soft hands, too…”

Buffy smiled and snuggled closer to him. She certainly didn’t feel cold when she was with him. She felt… His cock prodded her thigh and she let out a shuddering breath.

She felt hot…

“Spike,” she whispered as she ran her foot along his calf. “Wake up. I wanna have sex.”

Spike hummed low in contentment. “Yeah…sex would be good.” He rolled over onto his back, bringing Buffy with him and setting her astride hips. His eyes opened then, and he met hers with a smirk. “Ride me good and hard, kitten.”

Buffy’s answering grin was wicked, and she grasped his cock, stroking it firmly before she lowered her body down onto it, pulling him into her tight channel. Her wetness beckoned to him, making him thrust his hips up hard, wanting to feel every inch of him inside of her.

Buffy bucked as his cock slid roughly into her, Spike now buried to the hilt. She groaned and rotated her hips, situating herself until she found a better angle. “You’re so big,” she told him with a moan, her eyes sliding shut, her tongue running over her lips. She looked as if she were savoring him, and it only made Spike want her more. “Biggest I’ve ever had…”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” Buffy opened her eyes and met his gaze. They were both green now, the damage to her face significantly less than it had been, and for that Spike was grateful. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he’d caused her beautiful face to be marred forever.

He wanted to see all of her, to be assured she was healing, that what he’d done wasn’t permanent. He gripped the bottom of her nightgown, tugging it up, though Buffy reached down, stilling her hips as she stopped him from lifting the gown up any further. “No.”

Spike frowned. “I want to see you, kitten.”

“But I’m not completely healed yet,” Buffy protested.

“Doesn’t matter,” Spike said, shaking his head. “I still need all of you.”

Buffy hesitated for a moment longer before she brought her nightgown up over her head and tossed it onto the floor. Spike noted with relief that her chest did look significantly less burned than it had been, then he grabbed the back of her head and pulled her to his lips.

The kiss was passionate, bruising, and Buffy moaned into his mouth, her control hanging by a thread.

His teeth took her bottom lip, just hard enough to draw blood, and that thread snapped.

She sat upright again, her green eyes fading into gold as her hips moved faster, harder. The constricting muscles of her pussy clamped down on him tight enough for the sensation to border on pain, and Spike struggled to keep from coming too soon.

But she was driving him wild… She snarled as she rode him, her rhythm unrelenting. He’d never allowed himself to linger on the thought of being fucked hard by a demon before, but he realized as he indulged in the repressed fantasy now, just how much he’d wanted it.

“Yes, yes, Buffy, yes…” he hissed, his hands fisting in the sheets. “Do it hard, baby. Make it hurt.”

A wicked gleam flashed in her amber eyes before Buffy leaned down, her hips still working him at a grueling pace as she began to nip at his chest, her fangs sinking in just enough to draw blood. Spike cursed, each sting of pain to his flesh intensifying the feeling of being inside of her, until his balls drew up and he knew he couldn’t hold out any longer.

“Buffy, I…oh fuck, pet, I’m so close…I…”

Buffy jerked upright, riding him at a dizzying pace, her hand moving between her legs as she rubbed her clit, bringing herself off before he could finish. Her orgasmic cry echoed off the walls, her muscles drew in tighter around him, and Spike bellowed, coming harder than he remembered ever doing before.

Buffy slumped against his chest, taking a moment to come down before she began to bathe his chest with kittenish licks, humming in approval at the light tinge of blood her soft bites had given his skin.

Spike, on the other hand, could barely move, his body feeling as if she’d just managed to short-circuit him. He panted heavily, his heart thudding in his chest.

Buffy’s fangs retreated as she moved her mouth up his body, licking his neck and then nibbling his ear. “Are you okay, baby?”

“Yeah, I…” Spike let out a shuddering breath and found the strength to rest his hand against the small of his back. “That was fucking incredible, Buffy. You…wow.”

“Mmm…you like my demon side, don’t you, Spike? Is that your secret kink? Getting it rough from a vamp?”

A week ago, he would’ve denied it. Instead, he replied with, “When the vamp’s you, yeah.”

Buffy smiled against his skin, his answer filling her with a warmth she’d forgotten how to feel. “There’s so many things I could do to you, Spike. I could make you forget there’s a difference between pleasure and pain.”

Spike moaned at her words, his hand sliding from her back to rub against the curve of her rear. He knew in that moment he’d lost any upper hand he may have ever had with Buffy – from that moment on, he was her willing slave.

Buffy smirked, her lips against the mark she’d put on his throat; she knew it, too.