Paved Road to Hell by Winsomeone

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Chapter 10: Opposites Are Not Attractive

Within this vale
of toil and sin
your head grows bald
but not your chin
Burma-Shave



“Wow, now this is a nice hotel.” Xander stared at the flowing two story waterfall in the lobby. “Do they recycle the water, or just have slaves that refill it every morning?”

Anya strolled back from registration. “We’re on the seventeenth floor.”

“Anya, are you sure we can afford this?”

“With the money we’ve saved by not stopping last night and the drop in Xander’s food bill costs, I’d say we’re about even. This is the closest hotel to the last manifestation site and since we’ve got to wait another entire day, it makes good ecological sense to wait at the nearest location. We won’t be wasting gas this way and besides, they’ve probably got Egyptian cotton towels. I love a good thread count.”

Opening the door to their suite, everyone gasped.

“This room is incredible.” Willow surveyed the sunken living room complete with big screen television, fireplace and bar.

Anya pointed at various doors. “This isn’t just a room; it’s a three bedroom suite with nanny quarters, so that really makes it four bedrooms.” She shrugged. “This way we have lots of room to wait until tomorrow night’s manifestation.”

She watched Xander play with the switches that controlled the lighting. “There’s a Play Station game console and a couple of computers with wireless internet along with the cable television. We’ve even got a key for the indoor pool two floors down.”

After choosing bedrooms, Dawn dropped her stuff on the bed. “Do you think everything is okay?”

Buffy closed the door. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, for one thing, this suite. Buffy, I just don’t see Anya talking herself into this no matter what the reasons. It’s almost like she’s a different person.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “She has become a little freer with the money, but I think it makes sense to stay here. Besides, I can’t wait to use the swimming pool.” She rummaged in her suitcase and pulled out her swimsuit. “Don’t worry about it. Everything and everyone is fine.”

She watched her sister change into her swimsuit, grab a towel and leave the room, closing the door behind her. Lying across the thick coverlet, Dawn thought about everything she’d witnessed the past few days and tried to piece it all together. Maybe it was her imagination after all.

Her thoughts were interrupted by loud noises out in the living room. Opening the door, Dawn knew it wasn’t her imagination. She’d definitely been transported into the twilight zone.

“You assholes!!” Tara, flustered and angrier than Dawn had ever seen her, was yelling at Willow and Xander. They were sprawled on the couch playing with the PlayStation and laughing hysterically. The volume was turned up to maximum on the race game. It sounded like they were all standing in the heart of the pits at Daytona.

Tara hurled a ceramic ashtray. It slammed into the wall and broke into several large pieces. The blonde witch flounced into her bedroom and slammed the door.

“I’ve never seen her act like that before, ever.”

Sitting at the computer console, Anya agreed. “I think she could use a large economy sized bottle of Zoloft.” She stared at the broken shards. “Spike will be mad if that’s the only ashtray.”

“What upset her so much?”

“I have no idea. Maybe she wanted to have sex and Willow wanted to mess with the PlayStation instead of her. I know that makes me crabby.” She turned back to the computer. “Oh look, ceramic geese.”

Dawn leaned over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“I’m shopping on eBay.”

In spite of herself, Dawn felt compelled to ask. “What have you bought so far?”

Anya looked at her notepad and rattled off a list. “Twenty four plastic flamingoes, a box of frozen jumbo shrimp, a green and pink afghan crocheted in the shell pattern, a crate of wax fruit- mainly bananas and pears, a poster signed by the entire cast of Joanie Loves Chachi, and a CD of James Earl Jones reading from the script of the Lion King in French- that’s for Xander. He loves that movie.” She lowered her voice. “Don’t tell him. I might save it as a Christmas surprise.”

That’ll be a surprise alright.

Anya glanced back at the screen, muttered and punched a key. “I’m engaged in a bidding war with Jingles from Toledo right now over an authentic replica of the civil war battle of Chickamauga, Tennessee done in oils on a fifteen foot canvas sail. I believe it’s the jib. The seller has offered to pay all shipping costs.”

Before she could ask Anya what she was going to do with something that large in their apartment, Dawn heard a knock on the suite’s main door.

Dawn looked around the room. No one was paying any attention, including Anya. She was already embroiled in the bidding war again. Dawn sincerely hoped Jingles from Toledo had really deep pockets.

“Fine. Don’t anybody bother to move, I’ll just answer the door myself.”

When she opened the door, she saw a tall pale man in purple livery standing there. The hotel certainly makes their employees dress in weird costumes. “I’ll bet someone has complained about the noise already. I’m so sorry, we’ll be quieter.”

“You are the Key, yes?”

Dawn’s mouth dropped open. She looked around the hall and whispered. “How do you know about that?”

”I am an emissary for the Keeper. I must speak with the vampire and the Slayer immediately.”

Dawn frowned. “Buffy isn’t here right now. I’ll need to check with the others before I let you in or tell you where she is at the moment. Who’s the Keeper?”

“No one can see me other than the Key, the Slayer and the vampire.” The man shifted. “Please help me and I will explain all.”

I hope I’m doing the right thing, but Spike can take care of himself. “Fine. Come in. I think Spike, uh, the vampire, is in his room.”

Dawn opened the door wider and the man walked into the room. No one looked up at the sound of the door closing. Willow and Xander continued their game and Anya continued clicking the mouse. It was definitely surreal. They really can’t see him.

“Come on, the vampire’s room- his name is Spike by the way- is this way.” She turned toward the kitchen and the mysterious man followed at her heels. ”If he says it’s okay, we’ll go find Buffy, I mean the Slayer.”


****

Spike was lying on the bed in the smallest bedroom. When the group divvied out the bedrooms, Harris had made some remark about nannies, but Spike had ignored it. The vampire didn’t care if this room was smaller than the rest; he’d slept in a lot smaller rooms back in the day, not to mention the lack of windows in here was a vast improvement. Except for the time spent in the van with its special window coating, Spike had been dodging the sun a lot the last few days and that wore on a bloke after awhile.

Rolling over he stared at the ceiling. It was nice to get away from the humans for a bit. There was definitely something odd about the whole bunch lately, but Spike couldn’t put his finger on what bothered him so much about them. He was too focused on the Slayer.

Ignoring the no smoking sign in the room, he lit a cigarette and thought about Buffy. When had it all gone so off? He couldn’t really put his finger on it; he’d just suddenly realized that she irritated the hell out of him. From her response to him lately, he figured the feeling was more than mutual.

Spike exhaled. The feeling was becoming stronger, too. It was all he could do not to attack her when she got all high handed and bitchy. Which lately had been all the damn time.

He put the cigarette out in one of the glasses conveniently provided by the hotel. He’d take a nice long nap and then he’d be able to handle being in the same room again with the Slayer.

Before he could go too sleep, there was a knock on his door. “Spike? Are you awake?”


****

Buffy had finished her laps. Flipping over, she floated on her back. No one else around this time of day and she’d had the entire heated pool to herself. This was so relaxing. She loved her friends and her sister but it was nice to be alone for awhile. This enforced coziness was becoming a lot to deal with.

She thought back to Dawn’s comment on how odd everyone was acting, but just couldn’t see it. The only thing strange that she’d noticed was how much of a pain in the ass Spike had become the past couple days. He was much more annoying than usual and it was definitely grating on her last nerve. At the rate their relationship was going, he was becoming more and more stake-worthy every hour.

Closing her eyes, Buffy paddled around the pool still floating on her back. I can’t wait to finish this mission and get away from him. Even hearing his voice lately gives me a headache.

“Slayer?”

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