Changing Lives by Mabel Marsters

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Chapter 55

Author's Notes: Thaks to Carol for betaing this fic- and to everyone who has read and reviewed :)

Chapter Fifty-Five

The next morning Joyce Summers walked through to the kitchen to answer the phone. Buffy raced down the stairs as she heard it ring.

“If it’s Spike tell him I’m not in,” she said as her mom’s hand touched the receiver.

“Why ever not?”

“I just don’t want to talk with him, okay?” replied Buffy, disappearing from view.

Joyce could hear the thud of her feet as she ran back upstairs.

“Hello?” she said into the phone.

“Hi, Mrs. Summers. Can I speak to Buffy please?”

“I’m afraid she’s not in just now, Spike.” She didn’t like lying to him but Buffy obviously had no intentions of talking to him.

“Oh, um…do you know when she’ll be back?”

“I’m afraid not. I’m sorry but I must go. I have to leave to open the gallery.”

“Okay, I’ll try again later, thanks.”

“Bye Spike,” said Joyce, hanging up.

She walked to the foot of the stairs.

“Buffy?” she called. When she got no answer she went up to Buffy’s bedroom. “Honey? What’s wrong? Why don’t you want to talk to Spike?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Joyce opened the door and looked in. She could see that Buffy had been crying.

“Did something happen yesterday? Did you two have a fight?”

Buffy glanced up at her mom and just shook her head. Joyce sat down on the bed next to her daughter.

“He didn’t….” She hesitated, “He didn’t try to make you do something that you didn’t want to do, did he?”

Buffy lifted up her head. “What? No, no he didn’t.” But she felt fresh tears falling on her cheeks as she spoke. She’d more than wanted to make love to him. “It’s just…well…he’s…I just don’t know who he is anymore.”

Joyce sighed; they’d obviously had a disagreement over something. She hated seeing Buffy so obviously upset. They’d seemed so close, perhaps too close?

“Will you be okay if I go to the gallery? I’ll stay here if you want me to.”

“No, you go, Mom. I’ll be fine. It’s just I really thought he loved me, Mom,” replied Buffy.

“He probably still does, honey. It may all blow over and if it really is over then he just wasn’t the right boy for my little girl after all, was he?” She hugged her. “I’d better be going.”

“Thanks, Mom, for telling him I wasn’t here.”

“It’s okay, but you can’t avoid him forever. You’ll have to talk to him sooner or later.”

“I know, just not today, okay?”

“You do what you feel you have to, honey.” She gave Buffy another hug and then left for the gallery.

Ooooooo

Spike hung up the phone. Buffy hadn’t told him that she was going out this morning. He dialled Oz’s number; perhaps he’d be up for doing something.

“Hello, Mrs. Osborne. Can I talk to Oz, please?”

“He’s out with Willow this morning, Spike. He said he’d be back at about one o’ clock.”

“Okay, thanks.”

He replaced the handset slowly. When Mrs. Summers had said that Buffy was out, he’d expected for her to be over at Willow’s. He dialled Buffy’s number again but it just rang and rang.

He pulled on his duster and went out of the door. His feet automatically took him to Buffy’s house. He could see that the TV was on as he walked up the path.

“Great, she’s back.”

He knocked on the door. Buffy opened it, her eyes widening as she saw who it was. She tried to close it again but Spike put his hand out to stop her.

“Hey, pet, wot’s going on?”

“Just go away,” snapped Buffy, glaring at him.

“Wot ‘ave I done? Did I…er…hurt you…when we…?”

“Go away, Spike, or should that be William!” cried Buffy.

He was so stunned that he let his hand fall from the door and she slammed it shut, missing his nose by a fraction.

“Oh, fuck!”

He opened the door, glad she hadn’t locked it, and walked in. She was standing with her back to him. He went to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Buffy, I…”

“Get off of me!” She angrily shrugged his hand away. “Just get out! I have nothing to say to you.”

“Just let me explain, pet…”

“What? Listen to more of your lies? How can I ever believe anything you say again?” She started to cry. “I don’t even know what to call you, for God’s sake!” She fled up the stairs.

Spike stood there, frozen. ‘This can’t be happening’. He ran after her, grabbing her arm as she got to her door and pulling her around to face him.

“I’m still me. I’m still Spike,” he said urgently. “How did you find out?”

She got hold of his hand with hers and prised it free from her arm. “Does it matter? So, you’re not denying it then? I’m not wrong, you really are William?”

“No, I’m not denying it,” said Spike softly, “I should ‘ave told yer before now but I was scared I’d lose you.”

“Newsflash! You have lost me! Please just go away.”

Spike’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes filled with tears.

“Don’t say that, Buffy, please. I love you,” he croaked.

“How can you say that? How can you love someone yet be telling them a lie all along?”

“I’m still me, I’m still the one you said you loved. So my name’s William and not James. Wot difference does it make? I’m still Spike!”

“How can you say that? You let me think that you were dead. Have you any idea what that was like? Hearing that you’d been killed?” shouted Buffy.

“Well, yeah, actually I do know what it was like,” said Spike quietly, “four times over.”

For a second Buffy felt sorry for him. He had lost his family but then another surge of anger went through her.

“God! All the things you’ve said and done! I thought it was nice how you were preserving William’s memory by getting the books. You let me think you were a nice guy. All you are is a liar who is disrespecting the memory of both your mother and your poor cousin! Christ, I hate you!”

Spike went to her and tried to put his arms around her.

“Buffy, please, I know I was stupid. Please let me explain.”

Without thinking she slapped him across his face.

“Get out!” she screamed.

Spike brought his hand up to his cheek and stared at her, recoiling from the expression of disgust he saw in her eyes. Without saying another word he turned and by the time he was at the bottom of the stairs he was running as fast as he could. He left the front door open in his haste and ran blindly along the street, tears streaming down his face.

Ooooooo

Buffy walked dazedly down the stairs and pushed the door closed. She leant back against it and slid down until she was sitting on the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest, sobbing miserably.

To be continued….

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