Changing Lives by Mabel Marsters

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Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

Spike was waiting in the library the next day for Buffy to arrive. He’d made sure he’d finished the English assignment so that she could go over it with him, or more accurately because he wanted to try to impress her. He’d worked hard on it the evening before and whilst he wasn’t convinced it was as good as his work pre-accident he was sure it was the best he’d done so far. The one snag with doing well was the fact that his grades would increase and the tutorials would end.

Rupert walked out of his office. “Buffy not here yet?”

“Nope,” replied Spike.

He was feeling nervous. He hadn’t seen her since lunchtime yesterday and knowing she’d had feelings for him before he’d gone to London made him anxious to at least get to be her friend.

“I have something to tell you,” said Rupert seriously, taking off his glasses and wiping them. “I’ve had everything come through from the lawyers finally and I can now get on with selling Jayne’s house. I’ve organised to have tomorrow afternoon off work so I can have a look through the contents before I arrange to have it cleared.”

“Wot?” said Spike. He felt like his heart would stop. His home was going to be cleared. All his stuff just thrown away.

“Can’t I come too?” he asked in a small voice.

“No, Spike. I can’t let you miss any lessons. I’m only going myself to try to find a memento of Jayne and William to keep. Then I’ll leave it all in the hands of the agents. I’m not looking forward to it at all,” replied Rupert.

Spike blinked back tears but couldn’t think of a good enough reason to make him change his mind.

“So I need you to make your own way home tomorrow after school,” continued Rupert, “Can you do that for me?”

“’Ow old do yer think I am?” snapped Spike, “Course I can find my bloody way home.”

“Hey, Spike, no need to be like that,” reprimanded Rupert.

Buffy chose that moment to enter the library. She hesitated when she saw Spike scowling furiously and Rupert standing next to him cleaning his glasses so vigorously that she thought he’d break them.

“Oops, wonder what I’m interrupting?” thought Buffy as she walked slowly to the table.

“I’ll leave you to it,” said Rupert and he disappeared into his office.

Spike was struggling to keep his emotions in check. He’d never really thought about his home being sold. Since he’d been grounded he hadn’t seen the place. When he’d been drinking he not only went there to raid his mother’s stash of liquor but to take a bit of comfort from seeing the familiar surroundings. It had helped him remember his mom. Now it was all just going to be disposed of and, because he’d taken James’ identity, there was nothing he could do about it.

Spike glared at Buffy as she sat down, not because he was angry with her but rather at himself for being so stupid to think he could alter things for the better by changing lives. He’d screwed up any chance of being with Buffy on top of everything else. She only thought of William.

“Hey,” said Buffy, holding her hands up as she sat down next to him, “Whatever’s going on with you and Mr. Giles, I’m not a part of it, okay?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” he stopped. What could he say?

“None of my business,” said Buffy briskly, not wanting to get involved.

“No, it’s not that,” said Spike, “I’m just kind of screwed up, I guess.” He sighed deeply. “I did that assignment though. Do you want to have a look at it before I hand it in?”

He passed it to Buffy. He noticed her looking at his hand; it was multicoloured with bruising.

“Oh,” she said.

“Oh, wot?” asked Spike.

“Just figured it out,” said Buffy, “It was your fist that Angel tripped onto, wasn’t it?”

Spike looked anxiously at Rupert’s office door - it was closed.

“Um…yeah,” he said, deciding that lying about it would be worse than the truth.

“Oh,” repeated Buffy.

“Great,” thought Spike, “And her opinion of me just keeps getting lower.”

“Don’t really blame you after all he did to you,” said Buffy.

He looked up, “Yeah?”

She looked at him intensely but for once he held her gaze.

“Yeah, he’s had it his own way for too long,” said Buffy, “He gave William hell for years and we all just stood by and let it happen. I didn’t bother trying to get to know William until it was too late.”

“Soddin’ William again.”

“I got lucky. If he comes for me again I’ll be history,” said Spike, hoping she didn’t now think he was a thug too.

Buffy smiled at him. “I must say I am surprised you fought him,” she said.

“Why?” asked Spike, “Thinks I’m a wimp, not a thug, huh?”

“Well…it’s just…no, it’s stupid,” she stopped.

“Go on, tell me,” coaxed Spike.

“Well, it’s just that sometimes you really remind me of William then something happens and I don’t think you’re like him at all,” said Buffy.

It was Spike’s turn to say ‘oh’.

“Told you it was stupid,” said Buffy, feeling embarrassed.

“No, not stupid,” said Spike softly, “Probably nicest thing anyone’s said to me.”

“You’re fooling with me,” protested Buffy.

“I’m not – you obviously liked William a lot so I’ll take it as a compliment that I remind you of him, even if it is only every now and then,” said Spike, somehow finding the courage to meet her eyes.

“God, his eyes are just the same, but more intense,” thought Buffy.

Spike leant forward, still looking deeply into her eyes. Buffy’s lips parted slightly…

“How are you getting on?” asked Rupert.

Spike started at his uncle’s voice and sat up straight.

“Er…yes…good, thanks. Buffy’s just looking over that work I did last night,” said Spike quickly.

Buffy looked down at the papers Spike had given to her and made a good show of reading it but her mind was racing. Had he been going to kiss her? Had she wanted him to? She glanced at Spike but he was studiously avoiding looking at her, just messing about with his books. She started to read through his work. It was good, much better than anything he’d done so far.

“Spike, this is really good,” said Buffy.

“Thanks,” said Spike, not looking up.

“Seriously, if you keep this up, you’ll be the one tutoring me,” she added.

Spike risked a small smile. “God, why did Rupert have to come in just then? He knew he didn’t have the nerve to try to kiss her again. He still couldn’t believe he had in the first place.” “I dunno about that,” he said shyly.

“You’ll soon have your grades up,” said Buffy. “You won’t need the extra tutoring."

“Not much incentive to work hard then,” muttered Spike.

“What was that?” asked Buffy.

“Um…nothin’,” said Spike, flushing.

Buffy smiled to herself. She’d heard him and was pleased to know that he wasn’t looking forward to the tutorials ending either.

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