Changing Lives by Mabel Marsters

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Chapter 28

Tuesday morning saw Spike sitting outside Monica’s office waiting for his second counselling session. Her head appeared round the door.

“Hi, Spike,” she said, “Come on in.”

Spike got up and followed her in, taking his place in one of the armchairs. He took off his duster before sitting down.

“I see you’ve had your hair bleached again,” said Monica with a smile, thinking that sometimes the boys were just as into their appearance as the girls were though they’d never admit it.

Spike flushed, “Um, yeah,” he said shyly.

“So, did you have a good week? What did you do over the weekend?” asked Monica, once more trying to get him at ease.

“Um…it was okay….er…I’ve got to do extra work with a tutor on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but it’s not too bad I suppose apart from…” he stopped himself, “…and ..er…I’m like grounded so can’t go anywhere by myself. Rupert took me to see a movie on Friday night and then Oz came round on Saturday.”

“What’s the problem with your tutoring?” asked Monica, picking up on his change of subject.

“Nothing,” said Spike, not meeting her eyes.

Monica decided on a different approach, “So who is partnered with you for the tutoring?”

She noticed Spike’s face colour up a little.

“Um…Buffy Summers,” he said, looking down at his hands.

“So, what’s she like?” asked Monica, “I haven’t met her.”

“I bet you haven’t, she’s not stupid enough to do things that get you sent here.”

He hesitated for some time before replying. Monica just stayed quiet; there was nothing like silence for prompting someone to speak.

“She’s….er…well…she’s okay,” stuttered Spike.

“What does she look like?”

“Um…blonde. Long hair that goes past her shoulders,” said Spike, “small and slim, but kinda strong, yer know?” He glanced up at Monica, “She’ll stand up for herself and …um…well she’s…er…really pretty,” finished Spike finally. By this time his face felt like it was on fire.

“So you like her then?” said Monica gently.

“Yeah,” said Spike, knowing his blush had given the game away anyway.

“So why is there a problem with the tutoring?”

Spike looked up and met Monica’s eyes.

“There isn’t, I suppose, but I don’t like her thinking I’m thick, okay?” he blurted, “I was stupid not to do the work but I’m not stupid, if yer know wot I mean. Or least I wasn’t before the crash.”

“Surely she’ll realise that when she sees the work your doing?” said Monica.

“Suppose,” said Spike, a touch sulkily “I’ve liked ‘er for ages, ever since she came to Sunnydale. I never thought I ‘ad a chance with her and then I thought I did but now I know I ‘aven’t but I can’t stop liking her and it’s ‘orrible.”

“You mean ever since you got to Sunnydale?” asked Monica.

“Wot?” said Spike, “Oh crap!” He realised what he’d just said, “Yeah, since I got ‘ere,” he added.

“Well, that’s hardly ages. What’s it been, about six weeks?” said Monica, smiling at him.

“Seems like it,” replied Spike, “It’s long enough to make ‘er ‘ate me anyway.”

He slumped in his chair.

“Why do you think she hates you? That’s a pretty strong word, Spike.”

“She…er…Christ, do I ‘ave to say why?” said Spike.

Again Monica just waited patiently and, sure enough, he started to talk again.

“She thinks I’ve stolen stuff and that I’ve got a problem with drink and she thinks I’m the same as Angel ‘cause I hung out with him and I’m nothing like Angel.”

“Those are the reasons you’ve been referred to me also,” said Monica, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

Spike took a deep breath and told Monica everything that had happened to him since he arrived at Sunnydale.

“So yer can see why she ‘ates me. I’ve been a total jerk,” he said dispiritedly.

“I think you’re being a little hard on yourself, Spike,” said Monica kindly, “You were incredibly vulnerable when you arrived here and just latched onto the first friendship that was offered.”

“I should’ve known better. It was soddin’ Angel, for God’s sake,” said Spike, “Um…William told me about him.”

“How are you coping without any liquor?”

“Er…okay,” said Spike slowly, “It did make things seem easier though.”

“The key word here is ‘seem’,” said Monica firmly; “In fact, it’s made things worse, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied, “I’m not going to drink again. That’s what got me in trouble with the police and Buffy saw me and I was so ashamed, I am so ashamed.”

Monica said nothing for a moment, then spoke of something he’d said earlier.

“What did you mean when you said you weren’t stupid, or at least you weren’t before the crash?”

“I dunno really, it just seems harder to concentrate somehow,” he replied.

“It’s probably because of the alcohol you were drinking, Spike,” said Monica, “and you’re in a totally different schooling system to the English one.”

The bell went for the end of the first class and Spike got up and put on his duster.

“You’re doing okay, Spike. See you next week.”

“Okay.”

Spike walked to his class feeling a little bemused at how much he’d told Monica. It was a total contrast to last week when she hadn’t found out anything at all.

As Monica was putting away Spike’s notes she found herself believing what he’d said about being set up by Angel. She’d had to see Angel a few times. When he bothered to show up at all she found him to be obnoxious, not caring about anyone or anything except himself, but the way he’d dealt with Spike seemed particularly callous. She was a little worried about the quantity of vodka that Spike had said he’d been drinking and decided to go to have a word with his guardian, Mr. Giles, to see how things were at home.

Oooooo

Buffy gave a big sigh before she pushed open the doors to the library. She’d steadfastly avoided Spike since she’d ran out on him at her house last Thursday. She felt stupid for asking if William had spoken about her, then even more stupid for rushing out of the room.

She walked in and saw Spike already sitting at the table, taking his books out of his bag. He looked up as he heard her come in and caught her eye briefly before turning back to his books. She joined him at the table.

“Er..hi,” she said.

“Hi,” mumbled Spike.

“Look about the other night….” started Buffy.

“It’s okay. Shall we just get on with the work?” interrupted Spike, desperate to prevent her from talking about ‘William’.

“Oh, right,” said Buffy, not sure whether to be relieved or not.

They worked in almost total silence, only speaking when they needed to. When they’d finished Rupert once again drove Buffy home. She chatted easily to Rupert as Spike sat in the back, wishing she’d chat to him like that. Luckily for both teenagers Rupert refused Joyce’s offer of coffee as he didn’t want to impose every time and Buffy escaped into her house with a quick ‘thank you’ and a wave.

Spike climbed out of the back seat and into the seat vacated by Buffy.

“You both seemed quiet tonight,” said Rupert.

“Just trying to get as much done as possible,” replied Spike defensively, “Got lots to do.”

Rupert glanced at him.

“Wot?” snapped Spike.

“Nothing,” said Rupert. “Looks like he’s got a serious crush on Buffy. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be reciprocated. Is nothing ever going to be easy for him?

Ooooooo

Rupert was busy doing some filing in the library when Monica found him the next day.

“Mr. Giles, hello! I’m Monica Gibson, the guidance counsellor. Is it convenient for me to have a word with you regarding Spike?”

Rupert walked over to her and offered his hand, “Rupert; pleased to meet you.” He gestured for her to go into his office after they’d shaken hands. “Is there a problem?”

“Thank you, Rupert. No, not really. I just thought it would give me more background if we had a chat,” said Monica as she sat down in the office.

“What is it you need to know?” asked Rupert.

“How is he coping now he’s stopped drinking?” asked Monica, not beating about the bush with Rupert like she does with the students.

“He seems fine so far,” replied Rupert. “He was a little edgy on Friday as he usually went out then and obviously drank more those nights but I haven’t been worried that he’s trying to drink behind my back. He’s determined not to drink again.”

“That’s good. I was just worried when he told me how much he’d been drinking and that it was a daily occurrence. He also told me that it made things seem easier. Obviously he’s been through an awful lot with the accident so it would be very easy for him to slip back into relying on liquor,” said Monica.

“Well, he certainly hasn’t had the chance; apart from when he’s here I haven’t let him out of my sight,” said Rupert defensively.

“Yes, he told me he’d been grounded after the incident with the police,” said Monica with a smile, to show she was on the same side. “Had you noticed anything wrong before then?”

“No, nothing, he hid it totally from me. I was delighted he’d made some friends as I was worried he’d find it difficult to fit in, especially since he wasn’t here at the start of term. I let him go out with Angel most evenings for an hour or two after school. In hindsight that wasn’t a good thing. Angel certainly encouraged Spike to drink and was instrumental in getting him arrested.”

“He did tell me all about it and if it were any boy other than Angel in the story I’d think it was just that; a story. But I honestly wouldn’t put anything past Angel,” said Monica, “He thinks he’s above the rules because he can play football.”

Oooooo

Neither Rupert nor Monica noticed Angel listening at the door.

“That freaking little English pansy,” muttered Angel, “Telling tales like the girl he is. I’ll fix him once and for all.”

He sneaked away unseen.

Ooooooo

“So what do you think of Spike so far, Monica?” asked Rupert, “Do you think he’s doing all right?”

“I think he will be, but I’m not convinced he’s out of the woods yet,” replied Monica, “He lacks self-confidence and I think that’s why he was so easily led. How are the tutoring sessions going?”

Rupert chuckled, “Work-wise very well. He seems to be trying hard but I think he’s a little uncomfortable around his tutor, Buffy Summers. I’m pretty sure he’s got a crush on her.”

“He did mention it,” agreed Monica.

“He actually told you?” asked Rupert incredulously.

“Yes, he did, but he’s certain she dislikes him.”

“I’m afraid he may be right about that. She doesn’t seem overly friendly towards him,” said Rupert.

“Apparently she saw him taken away in the patrol car,” said Monica.

“Oh,” said Rupert. “Poor Spike, nothing has gone well for him for so long, it’s about time his luck changed. I’m happy to see him becoming friends with Daniel Osborne - he seems a very grounded boy.”

“He has had more than his fair share,” agreed Monica, “I’m surprised at the way he dresses and the fact he bleaches his hair. I would have thought he wouldn’t want to stand out like that. From what I’ve seen in my sessions, he seems quite shy.

Rupert told her of the day he first bleached his hair; the day he intended to run away.

“I think he felt the need to try to create a new persona after the loss of his family,” said Rupert.

On that reflection, Monica made her excuses as she had another student to see.

Rupert stood up and shook her hand once more. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem, Rupert,” she replied, “Let me know if you have any worries regarding him.”

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