Changing Lives by Mabel Marsters

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Chapter 14

Today was the day that William was having his plaster cast removed from his ankle. He’d had the strapping on his shoulder taken off the previous week. He had become increasingly withdrawn since he left hospital, prone to sullen silences or fits of temper towards Rupert. Only with Rich did William seem to be able to cope and be more like his usual self. He hated deceiving Rich but at the same time he loved his company so much that he just concentrated on having fun. The fact he was leaving the country soon made it a bit easier but he’d miss him.

William was monosyllabic on the way to the hospital. Rupert gave up trying to make conversation, he was really worried about James and had arranged to talk to Dr Clarkson whilst James was having his cast removed. He wanted to see if his moodiness was a result of his head injury, his grief or whether, as Rupert was starting to suspect, he was simply taking the piss.

“Here we are then,” said Rupert as he pulled into a parking space in the hospital car park.

William just grunted in reply and got out of the car, he’d taken to wearing the long black leather duster that he’d worn the day of the accident, despite all its scuffs from the road surface when he was flung out of the car. He appreciated the irony of wearing it with its scars since when he’d worn it to the Karaoke, James had joked that he’d kill him if he damaged it.

They walked into the hospital and made their way to the ward where the cast would be taken off. Rupert had made sure they were early for the appointment so he’d have plenty of time to see Dr Clarkson.

“Don’t forget to go and see the nurses in the ICU to say goodbye and show them you’re fit,” reminded Rupert.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” said William moodily.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon, I’ll meet you up at the ICU,” said Rupert with a sigh and he went to the doctor’s office.

Oooooo

William was waiting to be attended to. He knew he was being unfair to Rupert but he just couldn’t help it. As the date for their departure to America got closer he just got more edgy.

“James Norman,” called the nurse. Every time he heard the name a stab of pain went through him.

“Er, yeah,” he said, getting up and going to the cubicle. He got on the bed and the nurse deftly cut the cast off. William flexed his ankle a few times, glad to be finally free of it. He pulled on the sock and put on the shoe he’d brought with him.

“Thanks,” he said, standing up and testing it gingerly.

“Just be careful of it for a couple of weeks or so,” cautioned the nurse.

“Okay.”

He made his way to the elevator to go up to the ICU ward, after putting on a different pair of jeans and throwing away the ones with the seam cut open. He limped slightly as he walked along but knew that it would soon go once his ankle gained strength from being used. He hesitated as he stepped onto the ward; it was strange to be back there again. He’d been there for three weeks but it had seemed so much longer.

“James! Hi!” a voice called.

He looked round. It was Chrissie; the nurse who’d brought him the mirror that day. She was about twenty- three and had always flirted with him a bit, which made William blush. He felt his cheeks start to heat up as she walked towards him.

“Um, hi Chrissie,” he said.

“Oh wow! Look at you!” she said, “Love the coat.”

“Thanks,” said William, looking at the floor as he blushed furiously.

“Bet you’re glad to be free of your casts and of this place?” said Chrissie.

“Yeah, it’s a bit weird comin’ back in,” said William honestly, “but thanks for all yer did for me.”

“It’s my pleasure, James. It’s just great to get people fit to get on with their lives. So are you back at school yet?”

“No, we’re um…going to live in California in a few days time. My uncle’s got a job out there and so I’ve to go too.”

“California, eh? Sounds like a good adventure.”

“I suppose,” said William, his lack of enthusiasm evident.

“You’re not looking forward to going?” she asked

“No, not really. I’d rather stay ‘ere.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine when you get there. You’ll soon make new friends and have the girls eating out of your hand.” She grinned at him.

“I guess.”

A few more nurses stopped to say hello and wish him all the best. William was supposed to wait there to meet Rupert but suddenly he could bear it no longer.

“Can yer tell Rupert that I’ll be back at the car, please?” he asked Chrissie, “I need a bit of air.”

“’Course I will, you take care now, good luck.”

He stalked off the ward, took the elevator to the ground floor and walked outside.

Oooooo

Dr. Clarkson shook Rupert’s hand and gestured for him to take a seat.

“You’re concerned about James. Tell me, what he’s been like?” he said.

“Where do I start?” said Rupert, “He seemed okay when he was in here but when we got him home he changed. I blame myself for telling him about the move to California too soon, but I thought it was better than giving him hardly any warning. He stormed off and I left him alone that night but the next morning I heard him weeping and then he told me his memories were back. Since then he’s just gotten more withdrawn, barely speaking, slamming doors. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, obviously he’s had a lot to cope with. The memories flooding back will have hurt him emotionally, from feeling nothing to abruptly getting all the grief hitting home would be enough to make anyone struggle to cope. How is he with his friends?”

“He only sees Richard, his best friend. Who has been to see him as often as he can but he is now back at school. James seems fine with him, it’s only me he seems to hit out at.”

“That’s because you’re the nearest to him. He knows you have to take care of him. He’s probably feeling insecure, too, from having a loving family to an uncle who legally has to take responsibility for him; he may think you don’t really want him around. The fact you’re taking him to California may make him think that what he wants and feels aren’t important - that you’ll just do what you were going to do regardless of him.”

“But that’s ridiculous!” protested Rupert.

“Is it?” said Dr. Clarkson, “Honestly, wouldn’t you just prefer to have your life back as it was? Responsible for no one?”

“I’d like my sisters and their families to be alive, yes!” snapped Rupert.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know,” replied Rupert, “I am finding it difficult. I’d taken the job so I could be there for Jayne and William and now I’m uprooting James from all he knows. We’re going where neither of us will know a soul except for each other.”

“Maybe that will help you both, you’ll have to rely on one another.”

“But what about when he said that James was dead? I have to confess it shocked the hell out of me and I didn’t know what to say or do. He won’t let me call him James; almost cringes if I do,” said Rupert.

“He probably feels that part of his life as James is dead. It’s certainly over, his life changed forever. Just humour him on the name thing, I think for now, see how he settles in America. It’s very common for sole survivors of tragedies like this to feel guilty that they are alive and the others dead. His emotions will be harder for him to control than normal for quite some time, but it should get better. Keep in touch with me and I’ll help you as much as I can. He may benefit from talking things out with a psychiatrist at some point, too. And on top of all that he is a teenaged boy and they can be notoriously moody without any of the reasons James has,” said Dr. Clarkson with a wry smile as he stood up, “I’m afraid I have to go on my rounds now; good luck.”

They shook hands again and Rupert went up to the ICU to find James, only to be told he’d left and would be at the car. Rupert sighed and went to find him. He saw him as soon as he walked out of the hospital. He was leaning against the car, head down; hands plunged deeply into the pockets of the leather coat, the very picture of abject misery.

“I’m failing you, James, aren’t I?”

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