Summary: All her life Elizabeth has done exactly what everyone expects of her. Now in her first year of college, she discovers the vast possibilities in life. But can she escape the ghosts of her past and find the courage to explore the new paths before her...including the affections of an infuriating young sophomore named William 'Spike' Giles?
Rating: NC-17
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Freshly showered and dressed in her latest pale blue dress, Elizabeth left her room ready to party. Thankfully, Spike’s room was silent as she passed, her heels clicking on the tile floor of the hallway. In fact, she was so absorbed in trying to detect some sign of the infuriating peroxide blond that she literally crashed into Devon just as he was leaving Faith’s room.
There was an extremely embarrassing moment where Elizabeth scrambled for her purse, desperately trying not to notice that Devon was carrying both his shoes and his belt. His shirt was buttoned up all crookedly, and that, combined with the noises she’d heard earlier that evening, made it all too clear exactly what he’d been doing in Faith’s room.
She managed to sputter “have a nice evening” or something equally lame before practically dashing over to the Delta Phi house, her cheeks still burning a deep crimson. Not that she had anything against Devon and Faith, mind you; she just wasn’t exactly used to, er…that.
The frat house was already fairly crowded by the time she arrived, and she wound her way through the throng of people, occasionally stopping to hop up and down a few times to try to spot someone she knew over the heads of all the partygoers.
In her vertically challenged state she could only pick out the tallest of the tall, but luckily Riley was one of those. He spotted her as well and flashed her a wide grin before they both shoved their way politely through the crowd to try to reach each other.
“Some party, huh?” Riley practically shouted over the noise. “Didn’t think it’d be this crowded.”
“There’s a lot of people rushing this year,” Elizabeth yelled right back. “It’ll make my competition extra tough…”
“I’m sure you’ll get in,” he said with a little smile. “Pretty girl like you, all the right contacts…”
She raised a curious and somewhat wary eyebrow at that.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were Hank Summers’ daughter?” he asked, leading her into one of the only half-crowded and significantly more quiet side rooms.
Elizabeth blinked. “You know my father?” she asked, somewhat incredulously.
“His firm takes care of most of my dad’s overseas stuff,” Riley explained, sitting down.
“Really,” Elizabeth said with some surprise, “funny I didn’t… Ah!” she said with sudden realization. “I haven’t gotten the names of all his contacts here yet.”
“That would explain it,” Riley agreed. “I was surprised you didn’t recognize me when we first met.”
She gave him a little laugh. “Oops,” she agreed. “Guess it was that whole not ever having seen you before thing.”
He laughed at that as well. “So I hear you’re going into business, too.” He gestured to the seat on the sofa beside him, and she sat down, keeping her hands locked firmly in her lap as she did so. Riley left his arm around the back of the seat behind her, however.
“That’s the plan,” she agreed with a bright smile. “Get all my core requirements out of the way first, get my degree, and then…”
“Money, money, money,” Riley laughed.
“Yeah,” she said with a tightlipped smile. “Yay, money. Just like dad.”
Riley managed to roll his eyes slightly at that. “That’s nothing,” he said lightly. “You should see my dad. He’s all freaked that I’m getting a non-military degree. I’m in the Reserve Guard, so I have the back-up training for when I finally enter the service, but… Whew! Honestly didn’t think he’d be this soft on me.”
“He’s, uh, some kind of general, right?” Elizabeth desperately tried to find the topic interesting. After all, he was quite possibly the least offensive guy of ‘her class’ that she’d ever met. And if her father was serious about her hooking up with the right connections at college…well, she could do a lot worse than Riley Finn…
“Vietnam,” Riley agreed, a light flashing in his eyes that indicated that this was one of his favorite topics. “Volunteered as soon as war was declared. Took down fifteen hostile aircraft, won thirty-five firefights. He’s got this one story…”
Elizabeth tried to force back a yawn. Yes, he really did know the entire story behind every single one of those attacks, all jazzed up into a heroic war story in that way that only ultra-militaristic families believed. Right around American Motivational Speech number five, she realized that she desperately needed to change the topic or she’d die of boredom.
“So, why didn’t you go to West Point?” she asked curiously.
“Well, you see,” he began, gesturing with his hands before he trailed off. “Do you want something to drink?” he abruptly asked. “God, I can’t believe I haven’t asked you that yet!” A little nervous laugh. “I’m a terrible host…”
Elizabeth nodded slightly. “Whattaya got?” she asked.
“Many delightful beers, Jell-O shots if you like those…”
She gulped and tried to force herself not to feel embarrassed about asking this next question. “Got anything non-alcoholic?” she asked with a sweet smile.
Riley gave her a disbelieving look before slowly nodding. “Yeah, there’s some juice and stuff back in the kitchen…” he began hesitantly.
“That’d be really great,” she said with a broad smile. She breathed a sigh of relief when he’d gone. Her little policy against alcohol tended to put most guys completely off, and she didn’t want everyone to think that she was a prude; there’d be no way she could get into Tri Xi then…
“Bitsy!” Kathy exclaimed in delight from behind her.
Elizabeth immediately plastered the false smile back on her face. “Kathy!” she said with false enthusiasm. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” she tried to make the request as pleasant as possible, but a bit of venom hissed between her teeth anyway.
Fortunately, Kathy didn’t even notice. She merely laughed it off like it was some private joke between them. “So, having fun yet?” she asked, taking a swig of her beer.
“Lots of fun,” Elizabeth agreed with a bright smile. “Riley just went to get us some drinks.”
Kathy giggled. “Riley’s a major hottie, huh?”
“Oh yeah,” Elizabeth said with a slight laugh. She wasn’t so sure about the ‘hot’. Maybe ‘cute’…yeah, ‘cute’ kind of implied something you’d pause to go “awww” at, but nothing that set your blood ablaze like clever, sharp, insightful, passionate blue eyes and… She shook her head to clear out the train of thought.
“Hey, Kathy,” Riley took that moment to return, settling himself back down on the couch beside Elizabeth.
“Hi!” Kathy practically bounced on her feet. “You doing the Jell-O shots contest later?” she asked Elizabeth. “Gets you major rush points.”
Elizabeth grimaced. “I’m saving up for tomorrow,” she hedged.
“Cool,” Kathy agreed, still bubbling with boundless energy. She spotted someone off at the far side of the room and waved excitedly. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds,” she said with a little wink before rushing off again.
Elizabeth managed a wry laugh and tried not to die from embarrassment. Lovebirds?! She seethed internally.
“She’s fitting in just perfectly,” Riley commented, drinking from his own beer can.
Elizabeth cautiously sniffed at her juice before taking one small sip just to be polite; after all, she had made him go all the way back to the kitchen to get it… “Yeah,” she agreed simply.
“Elizabeth,” Riley began slowly, “you don’t drink, do you?”
She laughed nervously, not wanting to be caught seeming juvenile. “Sure, I do! I just…don’t take alcohol well, and I want to be on top of things tomorrow for the major rush,” she said hurriedly. Images were flashing before her eyes.
She panicked as she realized that something was definitely, horribly wrong. Her eyes widened in horror, and the cup slipped from her fingers, the deep brown liquid inside spilling all over the white carpet as it did so.
Her vision seemed to blur, and she looked up see…
“…Of course, that was before we beat Amherst,” Riley was finishing up another of his basketball anecdotes in the background.
“Uh-huh,” Elizabeth snapped back to the present and nodded vigorously, overcompensating for her brief lapse.
Even Riley seemed to notice something was off about her. “You OK?” he asked, his brow furrowing slightly in concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she insisted, setting her glass down on the table anyway.
Whatever Riley had been about to say was broken off by a loud shout, however: “Co-ed volleyball game on the back lawn!” one of the drunken frat boys cried out over the hum of the party.
Elizabeth immediately spun on Riley with a wide smile. “Wanna play?” she asked with her first real enthusiasm of the night.
“Yeah, great,” he agreed with a broad smile, taking her hand and leading her outside…
* * *
Elizabeth groaned when her alarm went off. Willow groaned as well and put her pillow over her head to block out the noise. Elizabeth shut it off before giving Willow an evil little smile.
“That’s my repayment for your seven o’clock class,” she joked lightly.
Willow grunted in an annoyed manner. “’Least that’s not on the weekends,” she managed to mutter before drifting back to sleep.
Elizabeth took one moment to envy her before yanking herself out of bed and heading over to the bathroom. The house was eerily quiet this early on a Saturday, and that gave her plenty of time to think while she brushed her teeth.
Unfortunately, she didn’t want to think.
She’d felt so guilty about the little flashback that she’d had with Riley that she’d overcompensated for the rest of the evening, staying at the party much later than she’d intended…or wanted. She’d listened attentively to all Riley’s stories, laughed at all his jokes, laughed at all his dumb friends’ jokes about blondes and Californians and Valley Girls, and then let him give her a quick kiss before she went home.
Right now, he was probably convinced that she was about to marry him. And that wasn’t good in the slightest.
The problem was that, no matter how much she should want Riley, there really, really wasn’t anything there. She couldn’t quite figure out why. After all, he was exactly the type she’d always gone for – large, athletic, rich, jockish. And he was a hell of a lot nicer than all of the other guys that had fallen into that category. Hell, her father even approved of him. He was absolutely perfect! So what on earth was wrong with her?
The image of a lean, pale body, still wet from his morning shower, standing at the sink next to her and turning to greet her every morning popped instantly into mind. Followed closely with an image of that same body in Tae Kwon-Do uniform, his brow furrowed in concentration as he matched her blow for blow…
She shook her head. OK, this absolutely had to stop now. It was absolutely ridiculous! So, she had her fantasies about Spike. That was normal enough, given how good-looking he was, but it was just a passing crush. There was absolutely nothing there; there couldn’t be anything there, for Christ’s sake!
Elizabeth tried to picture her father’s reaction if she were to bring Spike home, and visions of disinheritance flashed through her head. It was almost funny, except for the fact that that was her father looking at her with shame and disappointment…
Spike crush, gone, she decided mentally. Spike relegated to same category as Brad Pitt of guys that are fun to think about but completely not what you REALLY want. So why didn’t she feel convinced?
She shook her head and finished applying her make-up. One quick check-over to make sure it was perfect, and she was off to Tri Xi House. The important thing was making new friends right now. And once she moved out of that house, she never had to be tempted by Spike ever again…
* * *
“OK!” Di said enthusiastically, her blond ponytail bobbing up and down as she practically hopped in place. “You rushers have all proved that you can par-tee! But we still have tons of cool events left!”
A cheer ran through the crowd, and Elizabeth screamed along with all the other girls, her cries drowned out by the excited “We love you, Di!”s coming from Kathy beside her.
Di spared Kathy a bright smile before turning back to her checklist. “OK then!” she announced. “This next event is always a big favorite with our guys,” she gestured over to the guys from Delta Phi that stood beside her. Riley flashed Elizabeth a little wink. “You all remember your carefree days of youth, right?” Di continued to pep up the crowd. “Back when unsightly stress bags under the eyes weren’t even an issue?”
Several laughs sounded around Elizabeth.
“So, how many of you played tag and hide-and-seek back then?” Di asked, cheering in delight when all the hands in the crowd rose. “Well, that’s what we’re doing now. The guys are ‘It’, and if you girls get caught…well, your captor gets a free kiss…”
“And rumor has it there are extra points for flashing!” Graham – one of Riley’s insufferable friends she’d met last night – called out.
Elizabeth groaned inwardly. This was just the sort of thing she hated. She really wasn’t big on the casual, comfortable touching. Especially after…
She bit back the memory and forced herself back to the game at hand. After all, it probably wasn’t so bad; she was a fast runner, having kept it up in training for her martial arts even after she’d dropped all her other activities.
“Are you girls ready to have fun?!” Di exclaimed.
“Yes!” was the resounding cheer of the crowd.
“Then, go!” Di squealed excitedly.
Instantly, dozens of blondes took off in separate directions, giggling all the while. Elizabeth passed them all easily, running straight for the woods behind the sorority house and the many safe hiding places there. There were two ways she could rack up points for her rush: 1) Not get caught, and 2) Go wild with the kissing. Needless to say, she favored the first alternative.
Thankfully, no one else seemed to have followed her too far into the woods. Once she was sure she didn’t have anyone on her tail, she hid behind a large oak tree and sat down for a breather.
This wasn’t so bad, she decided after a moment’s pause, taking in the stillness of the woods and the gentle chirping of songbirds. Really, it was quite relaxing. It was a bright, sunny day, and even though the deep shade of the leafy canopy overhead she could see that the sky was a crystal clear blue.
It reminded her oddly of a moment from childhood, one of the last she had with her mother before she’d died…
A squeal nearby interrupted her silent introspection. She cautiously got to her feet to see that Graham had caught another of her fellow rushers not one hundred feet away. She slipped away as quietly as she could while the two of them made out – rather more enthusiastically than the game required, she noticed – only to run smack into Riley.
She practically screamed in fright at his sudden appearance and backed up abruptly until she crashed hard into a tree.
“Gotcha,” Riley said with a broad grin on his face.
“Gotcha,” a cold sneer spread across his lips as he watched her stagger backward into the wall.
Riley placed one hand on either side of her head. “You owe me a kiss,” he said eagerly.
She tried to summon the energy to move, but her body wasn’t responding normally. She felt dizzy, like the world around her was growing foggy. He placed one hand on the wall on either side of her head, thoroughly trapping her…not that she could have fled anyway.
Riley leaned in close, his lips moving to meet hers.
And Elizabeth panicked. Full, all-out, hysterical panic. She slipped right under Riley’s arm – thankfully not using any of her more vicious fighting moves on him in her wild frenzy – and fled into the woods, her heart pounding in her chest and her muscles aching from the desperation of her flight. In the back of her mind, she could dimly hear Riley calling out in alarm, but she didn’t care. She just had to get far away. Far, far away…
By the time she’d finally returned to her senses, she was halfway up the stairs of Westing House and tears were flooding down her face. Embarrassed, she wiped at them ineffectually with one hand before making the gauntlet down the hallway.
The only open door was Spike’s, and she briefly managed to notice that he, Xander, and Anya all watched her, surprised, before she dashed into her room and slammed the door behind her, sobs beginning anew.
Willow and Tara instantly leapt up from where they’d been studying on Willow’s bed, alarmed at their friend’s distress.
“Elizabeth?” Tara asked in the kindest voice Elizabeth had ever heard in her entire life.
With an exhausted breath, Elizabeth collapsed beside the door. Almost immediately, Willow and Tara caught hold of her hands and led her over to her bed, murmuring reassuring nothings to her and trying to make whatever it was that was wrong better.
“Y-You’re not hurt, are you, honey?” Tara asked cautiously, checking for blood or wounds or the like.
Elizabeth shook her head slightly.
“What happened?” Willow asked softly. “Do you want to tell us?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath and didn’t answer for quite some time.
The two lovers exchanged a worried look, not quite sure what they should do.
“You want a cookie?” Willow finally asked.
Elizabeth looked up at her in surprise and slight confusion.
“Chocolate chip,” Willow said tantalizingly. “We just made them ourselves this morning.”
“We were saving them for the house meeting this evening,” Tara gave her a shy, reassuring smile, “but you can have one now.”
Elizabeth managed a little laugh through her tears. “Yeah, I’d really like a cookie,” she agreed, the surreality of the situation finally getting to her and overcoming her fight-or-flight instincts.
“Here,” Willow handed her the box.
“Take as many as you like,” Tara said kindly. “W-We can always make more.”
“Thanks,” Elizabeth took a bite and instantly remembered why chocolate was the cure-all of every ailment…well, almost every ailment.
“You want milk with that?” Willow teased lightly. “Don’t wanna end up in one of those ‘got milk?’ adds.”
Elizabeth managed to laugh and nodded, and Tara got up to fill her request. A slight knock sounded at the door as she did so, and Elizabeth got that panicky look back in her eyes for a second.
“I’ll make them go away,” Willow reassured her as she went to answer the door.
“Is Elizabeth all right?” Anya demanded matter-of-factly when Willow peered out. “Because Spike won’t stop bothering me until I get an answer. I tried to explain that he should just ask, but then he and Xander started going on about how it could be a woman thing, and…”
Elizabeth giggled slightly as Anya continued to rant on non-stop in the background. Really, she was one of the most unique characters Elizabeth had ever met. There was also a slight fuzzy feeling in her stomach that Spike was worried about her…and considerate enough not to push his own exasperating nose into the room to find out… For a second, she just let herself revel in the feeling. She figured she deserved it after what she’d just gone though.
“Is that her laughing in there?” Anya demanded after hearing the giggles. “Does that mean she’s all right?”
“I’m fine, Anya,” Elizabeth managed to call out.
“Good,” Anya decided. “Well, bye.” She departed just as brusquely as she’d appeared.
“Sorry about that,” Willow said with a wince. “Anya’s not exactly the best at comforting…”
“It was kinda nice,” Elizabeth shrugged, “made my own stupid problems seem insignificant.” She smiled up at Tara and took the glass of milk offered.
“So, d-do you want to talk about it?” Tara’s slight stutter indicated that she was still a little bit unsure of how to deal with the situation.
Elizabeth managed an unconvincing smile. “It was silly, really…” she began, and then noticed their twin skeptical expressions. “Just a really bad memory,” she finally sighed, running her hand through her hair.
“Oh,” Willow said, realizing that she probably wouldn’t get more out of Elizabeth but regretting that she didn’t have enough information to properly comfort her roommate. “Well, if you want us to leave or something…”
Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut tight and fought against that little wall deep inside her that she’d kept up for so long. She felt the sudden, overwhelming urge to just say the words out loud to someone – something she’d never managed to do before.
“Th-There was this game,” she began hesitantly. “Like tag, but we had to kiss the frat guys if they caught us.”
Willow and Tara shared a glance that made it all too clear exactly what they thought of that game.
“R-Riley caught me, and he had me backed up against this tree,” Elizabeth continued, “a-and… I just panicked.” She shut her eyes shut tight again.
Tara’s brow furrowed, still not quite clear on the situation. “You didn’t want to kiss him? He pressured you?”
Elizabeth shook her head vehemently. “It’s wasn’t him,” she said so softly that they could barely hear, “it was me. A-A while back I was attacked, and I got away, but…” She broke off into sobs again.
Willow and Tara’s eyes simultaneously widened at the admission.
“Oh, sweetie,” Tara cooed softly, rubbing her back, “I’m so sorry…”
“Stupid men,” Willow hissed angrily. “Where do they get off playing games about these sorts of things?”
Elizabeth managed to give them both a weak smile. “Bad memories…” she repeated softly.
* * *
With a deep breath, Elizabeth reentered Tri Xi House. Kathy instantly bounded over to her, demanding to know where she’d been. Elizabeth brushed her off quickly with an illness excuse which she quickly passed on to Di.
The older girl nodded politely, but the odd look she gave Elizabeth made it all too clear that she’d already heard several interesting rumors about what happened.
“Tough break,” Kathy said as she followed Elizabeth back out, obviously having heard a bit of something herself. “Good news, though,” she said with a bit of that peppy cheer that was her constant companion, “I got in on one of the early spots! I’m a Tri Xi girl!” She bounced up and down happily.
“That’s great,” Elizabeth said with a genuine smile. If there was one thing she had to say for Kathy, it was that the girl had put her full effort into getting into the sorority.
“I’m sure you’ll make it next week,” Kathy reassured her. “Now, go home and get better so you can cheer our teams at their home games this week!”
“Right,” Elizabeth said with a sigh of relief, escaping into the quiet of the night…
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