Gardens of Oblivion by Addie Logan

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Chapter 16

“The closet’s over there. Feel free to push my stuff out of the way to make room for yours. The kitchen’s on the other side of the den, but there’s nothing in there right now, aside from beer and some chicken wings that have probably grown fuzz by now, so if you want food in here, we’re going to have to do some shopping.”

Buffy smirked at Spike’s description of his fridge’s contents as she walked towards the closet. “Beer and moldy chicken wings? Vampire or not, you are such a guy.”

“Yes, well, being undead doesn’t get you out of signing the Guy Code,” Spike deadpanned. “It’s very strict about what you can and can’t keep in the kitchen if there’s no woman living on the premises.”

“Uh huh. I bet.” Buffy opened the closer, noting how spacious it was, though it was nowhere near full. Aside from a few colorful overshirts, it had almost nothing but several black t-shirts and pairs of black jeans. “Does that code apply to your wardrobe, too?”

Spike came in behind her and shrugged. “Why mess with what works? We both know I look good in what I wear.”

Buffy giggled as she started to unpack her things, surprised at how comfortable she felt doing this. She was worried she’d feel too much like she was intruding on Spike’s space, but it felt like just the opposite instead. “Yeah, the look does work for you,” she agreed. “You’ve got the body to pull off tight.”

“Glad you approve, luv.”

“I’d have to be blind not to.” She squeaked when she suddenly felt Spike’s arms around her waist. “You were over by the closet door like half a second ago!”

“Vampire speed, luv,” Spike replied as he dipped his head to kiss her neck.

“What, you can’t even give me a minute to deal with my clothes?”

“I don’t like your clothes. They keep you from being naked.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help herself from leaning back against him. “You are like the horniest man ever.”

“It’s your fault,” Spike countered, his hands moving up to caress the undersides of her breasts through her shirt. “You’re just too hot.”

“Yeah, like I’m actually that good looking to make a man like you want me all the time.”

Spike’s hand dropped and he took a step back from her. Buffy felt herself tense. She didn’t want to argue, not right now. “Spike?” she said softly. “Don’t get mad at me.”

“I’m not. Well, not at you. Look at me, Buffy.”

Buffy turned slowly. “What?”

“Do you really not know how amazing you are?” Spike asked, his head cocked slightly to the side.

Buffy shrugged. “It’s not like I think I’m some hideous hag, Spike. I know I’m pretty enough, but…”

Spike cut her off. “No. There’s no buts here, Buffy, I don’t care about what those tossers in your past made you think. They were idiots and clearly not man enough to handle you. And yeah, while you are absolutely gorgeous, it’s so much more than that.” He put his hands back on her hips and pulled her to him, his voice dropping when he spoke again. “You’re so raw, Buffy. You feel everything and you let you body respond in kind. Do you have any idea how bloody refreshing that is? It’s so easy to lose myself in you, kitten. You’re in my blood in more ways that one; I’m addicted to you, to how you make me feel.”

“But every other man I’ve been with has gotten bored with me,” Buffy said, her voice small.

“They didn’t know what they were doing,” Spike told her. “Sex has got to be a give and take. You have to be able to turn each other on for it to work. And if one half of the pair is selfish or lazy, they’re not going to get much out of the other person either.”

Buffy looked down at her hands. “But even when Riley would try to spice things up in the bedroom, I wasn’t any good,” she said. “He’d get frustrated with me.”

“What would he want to do?” Spike asked, trying to keep his voice calm and not just rail on her ex – or jump Buffy to show her just how desirable she truly was. He needed to know where she’d been if he was going to make things better for her in the future.

“He…he liked me to wear outfits and do like…roleplay stuff. But I sometimes had a hard time getting into it, and then he’d tell me I was ruining the mood. A couple times I messed up so bad he just left.”

Spike sucked in a deep breath. “Buffy, who picked the scenarios for those games?” he asked.

“He did.”

“Did the two of you ever discuss them beforehand?”

“Not really.”

“And did they ever coincide with your fantasies, too?”

“No.”

“So how exactly could you be expected to get into them?”

Buffy shrugged, her focus still on the ground and not on Spike. “I should have tried harder.”

“Give and take,” Spike said again. “Nothing you do in bed should be all for one person, at least not all the time.”

“Or maybe I’m just not very creative,” Buffy muttered.

Spike resisted his initial urge to yell at her, knowing that would do more damage than good. The only way he was going to convince her there was nothing wrong with her bedroom skills was if he showed her, let her gradually build up her confidence. “How about we do this, luv – you think of a game you want to play, a fantasy of your own, and then we’ll try it out,” he suggested.

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to come up with anything now. Give it some time.”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“I know.” Spike kissed her forehead. “Okay. You want me to help you unpack?” Buffy nodded and Spike smiled, the next words coming out on their own. “I love you.”

“I like it when you say that,” Buffy admitted.

“Good, because I’m not going to stop. Whatever wacky notions to the contrary you have in your head.”

“No one’s ever made me feel the way you do.”

“And you can’t believe it’s the same for me with you?” Spike asked.

“Well, you’re the most amazing lover I’ve ever had, and I barely know what I’m doing, so…”

Again, Spike had to stop himself from snapping. The last thing she needed was him getting frustrated and losing his temper over this, but it was like she wasn’t listening to him at all. “Good sex isn’t about skills or experience, luv. It’s about two people clicking. And we do.”

“I guess we do have pretty good chemistry…”

“Sweetheart, we have amazing chemistry. Trust me, I’ve been around long enough to know when something’s really special.”

“I keep thinking this thing I’m feeling can’t possibly be mutual.”

Spike bit back a smirk. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Buffy finally looked up at him. “But it is?”

“Completely, lamb.” Spike kissed her gently, then pulled away. “Let’s get you settled in, yeah?”

Buffy nodded, and Spike was encouraged by the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Like this, Buffy could easily forget the man beside her was technically a corpse. They were cuddled together on the couch, a mostly-eaten pizza in a box on the floor. She’d put on one of his t-shirts and a part of sweats, and she felt more like a woman spending a quiet night in with her boyfriend than anything else.

Which she supposed was exactly what she was.

Buffy had decided she just wasn’t going to dwell on Spike’s supernatural state. Despite what he’d said, she couldn’t imagine that he’d actually be dangerous. She understood, abstractly at least, that he needed blood to survive, but other than that, he didn’t seem all that different from anyone else. He was intelligent and handsome, not some snarling beast.

Her stomach fluttered at that thought, and she amended it with at least not in a bad way…

So they wouldn’t be going on any picnics on warm, sunny days or spending a lot of time at the beach. She could do without that. Past that, she didn’t really see how being involved with Spike would be any different than dating someone who wasn’t a vampire. It was like dating someone with a medical condition that restricted certain activities – not really a big deal at all.

The important things were there. She could connect with him in and out of the bedroom. He treated her well and knew how to make her laugh. They could spend a night in snuggling on the couch and flipping through the channels and be perfectly content. They liked the same things on their pizza. What else did she really need?

He hadn’t even complained when she’d wanted to watch something Riley would’ve called too “girly” and bitched about until she turned it off.

“You’re a good boyfriend,” Buffy told him, snuggling closer.

Spike chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “Am I?”

“Yup.”

“Not hard when you’ve got a bloody adorable girlfriend,” Spike replied, his tone light and teasing. It made Buffy feel warm all over.

“Tell me you love me again.”

Spike tilted her face so she was looking up at him and brushed her hair back with his hand. “I love you.”

Buffy smiled, her heart fluttering just from the words. And his eyes… She’d never had a man look at her the way Spike did when he said he loved her.

“You believe me, don’t you kitten?” Buffy nodded and Spike cupped her chin to bring her close enough to kiss. His lips affirmed what his eyes had told her, making her certain that this man had managed to perfect the kiss.

And she did believe him. She knew this was what had gotten her in trouble in the past, throwing herself headlong into a relationship and choosing to ignore anything that could give her pause, but she didn’t care. Spike made her feel happy, and that was something she hadn’t had in a long time. She hadn’t felt anything in a long time. Within the first year of her marriage, she’d shut herself down, numbing herself when the only thing she’d been able to feel was pain.

Never in her life had she truly felt loved or cherished. No one had ever treated her like she was the world, and Buffy was responding to it like a woman dying of thirst suddenly being shown an oasis.

She wanted to be loved. She wanted to feel like she was important to someone. It was what had led her to marry Riley in the first place. She didn’t want to be so alone.

“Say it again,” Buffy prodded, her tone bordering on desperate, as if she were afraid if she didn’t hear him say it now, she’d miss her last chance.

“I love you.” Spike kissed her mouth then said it again. “I love you.”

“More,” Buffy pleaded, not caring about how needy she sounded.

Spike rained kisses over her face, professing his love after each one. Buffy trembled in his arms, and Spike lifted her shirt over her head and lowered her to the couch, moving over her so he could continue downwards with his kisses and declarations of love. Her legs twined around his calves, her toes curling. She held him close, shaking with emotion and want.

Spike slid his fingers past the waistband of her sweats and into her panties, immediately finding the hot, wet evidence of her arousal. He’d barely touched her, and he knew it was hearing he loved her that had turned her on so much. He moaned against her skin as he pressed his lips to her bare abdomen, needing to be inside her more than anything else in the world.

He brought her sweats down quickly, dropped them on the ground, then opened his jeans and brought his cock out into his hands.

“Yes, please…Spike…” Buffy begged, though her pleas were unnecessary. Nothing could have stopped him from being inside her.

Her eyes closed as he worked his way into her body, but they opened again when his fingers dug slightly into her hips. “Look at me when I’m inside you,” Spike ordered, his husky words impossible for Buffy to ignore. “I want you to see everything.”

Buffy nodded, biting her bottom lip as she locked her gaze with his. She’d never seen eyes like his before, the shade often changing with his moods, allowing her a glimpse inside the man. They were dark now, full of lust, and Buffy felt her pulse quickening. Spike would never make her guess as to whether he wanted her or not.

“So fucking beautiful,” Spike said softly as he began moving his hips, keeping Buffy’s gaze trapped with his. “God, pet… Everything about you…your hair, your eyes…bloody everything.”

Buffy couldn’t respond with words, her body too caught up in what he was doing to her. She clung to Spike, needing him close, needing to feel his skin beneath her fingertips.

Soon, his words were replaced with harsh pants and his thrusts gradually grew in speed and depth, but his eyes stayed on hers, telling her things he could never express with words alone. Buffy had never felt as close to anyone as she did to him in that moment, and she trembled with the power of it and clutched him tighter, needing him to anchor her even as he threatened to make her float away.

It was when he said those words again that she fell apart. She gasped his name, continued to watch his eyes as he surrendered and fell with her.

Shaking as hard as she was, Spike collapsed against her chest. Buffy held him close and was content.

Spike waited until he was sure Buffy was asleep before he got out of bed and dressed. He wished he didn’t need to leave her side, but the only other option was feeding on her alone, and he wasn’t going to do that. Tasting her to heighten sexual pleasure was one thing, but she was too small to be his primary source of blood. He’d figured out quickly that it didn’t take long for him to render her unconscious, and he wasn’t going to take any chances. Spike knew he’d never be able to forgive himself if he hurt Buffy by being careless.

He resisted the urge to kiss her sleeping form, knowing it could wake her, and he needed to feed. He’d gone without the night before, and the drinks he’d taken from her weren’t nearly enough. The last thing he needed to do when he was with a woman who set him on fire the way Buffy did was let himself grow weak from hunger.

He slipped out of the building, taking advantage of his preternatural stealth, and walked to the nearby nightclub where he’d met Buffy for the first time. It was one of his favorites due to the high number of drunk young women who frequented it and the fact that in this town, no one seemed to care when bodies showed up drained of blood. He’d stayed in other places where he had to be careful, picking who he drained and who he let live, so as not to arouse unwanted attention from anyone. However in this place, the people either knew what was going on and chose to turn a blind eye or were raving idiots. Spike wagered it was a bit of both.

He found his meal in a tall brunette with dark eyes. A blonde woman similar to Buffy in stature had walked by as well, but his demon had rebeled at the idea of killing a woman so close to its chosen mate.

The brunette followed Spike into an alley easily enough, his handsome visage allowing him to have no problem finding women willing to come with him almost anywhere.

Spike leered at her, knowing she’d mistake what was in his eyes for another kind of lust. She let him back her into a wall without a fight, didn’t struggle even when he placed his hand over her mouth. Her heart was thumping madly in her chest, her scent flavored with feminine arousal, and Spike felt his demon roar to the surface as he ran his tongue along the pulsepoint of her neck.

This was what his demon had been unable to feel with Buffy, a fact that had angered him at first, though he’d since come to be grateful for it. However, it was a reaction unique to his relationship with Buffy, the demon’s desire not to hurt not extending past the blonde he’d left in his bed. The woman in his arms now was nothing more than prey.

“I’m going to kill you,” he told her in a low voice, waiting for a moment as her brain registered what it was he’d actually said. She began to struggle, but Spike held her, his hand clamped tightly against her mouth, muffling her screams.

While the demon had decided to accept what Buffy was to him, it didn’t quell at the beast’s anger at loving a human. It went against his nature to be so tender, especially when the woman still had a heartbeat, and the demon demanded balance.

He was ruthless in his feeding, savagely tearing the girl’s neck and relishing her muffled sounds of pain. He let his darker nature break through now, hoping it would serve to prevent him from going too far with Buffy if he sated his bloodlust now.

The girl was sweet, her blood rich with the taste of her fear. He drained her dry, not stopping until her body was limp and lifeless. Spike pulled his head back from her neck and licked his lips, savoring the last drops of her blood before he hoisted her up and tossed her into a nearby dumpster.

Warm blood flowing in his veins now, the lust shifted, both man and demon focused again on the woman waiting in his bed. A push of supernatural speed got him home quickly, and this time, he managed to be back by her side before she woke.

She was sleeping peacefully, but Spike wanted her too much to care about waking her. He shucked his clothes and joined her on the bed, flipped her over onto her stomach, and slid into her from behind without hesitation.

Spike heard her gasp and felt her buck as she woke up suddenly, but he didn’t stop moving. If anything, his thrusts grew harder, giving Buffy no time to adjust to his large cock inside her. She moaned and panted beneath him, her hands clawing at the sheets.

He knew he shouldn’t be taking her with the demon so much in control. The last time he had, he’d felt horrible afterwards, knowing he’d hurt her even if she claimed she’d been okay with it. But Spike also knew he couldn’t keep the demon away from her completely, and if he could at least keep it satisfied with rough sex, then maybe Buffy would be safer in the long run. So he let the demon out to play.

And the demon wanted both her pleasure and her pain.

His hand came down hard on her squirming ass, and Buffy cried out but didn’t seem to protest. He hit her again, harder this time, eliciting a choked sob from her. He snarled, his yellow eyes glinting in the dark, then began to rain consecutive blows on her skin, turning her flesh a dark red.

She cried out with each strike of his hand, but when a particularly loud wail was accompanied by the quaking of her vaginal muscles, Spike knew he’d made her come. He rode out her orgasm before flipping her over, barely registering her face was tearstained before he dove down and caught the side of her breast between his fangs. Buffy screamed, her nerves still on edge from her last release as another wave of pleasure crashed over her.

The sweet taste of her blood was just what it took to send him over the edge with her.

His cock still nestled in her body, Spike licked the wound on her breast closed then settled down against her chest and fell asleep, content.

I’m sorry there was such a delay in chapters. I’ve been blocked on this story for a while and was trying to hold off on posting until I thought I could work on it again.

Please review and let me know if I’ve still got my audience on this one…

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