Fix You by Enigmaticblue

Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures where the First is involved. In order to prevent the end of the world, Buffy asks Willow to do a spell that's supposed to fix everything, and Spike goes along for the ride.

Chapter 7: Begin Again

"Okay, so we've got the haunted house taken care of?"

Oz nodded. "I'll make sure no blood hits the symbol."

Buffy took a deep breath. "Xander, did you check on the enchanted beer?"

Xander made a face. "Yes, but I don't see why we couldn't let them drink it, Buffy."

"They started a fire on campus and kidnapped two girls last time," Buffy pointed out. "I don't think it would be a good idea."

Xander sighed. "You weren't the one they were making fun of."

Buffy gave him a sympathetic look. "Sorry, Xander."

"It's okay. I have to find a new job now, though." He took a bite out of his pizza. "I don't think I'm cut out to be a bartender."

"Try the construction business," Buffy advised him. "There should be an opening soon."

Xander frowned. "Construction, huh?"

"Trust me." Buffy looked at Spike. "Am I forgetting anything?"

"Think that does it for the next few weeks anyway," he replied.

Buffy let out a long sigh. "Good. We can worry about the Initiative later."

"An' the soldier boy?" Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Who?" Willow asked.

Buffy shot the vampire a dirty look to remind him to keep his mouth shut. "Riley. He's one of the Initiative soldiers."

"Do you have a relationship with him?" Giles inquired.

"He's the TA for our psychology class, and that's all he is," Buffy insisted. "I dated him last time, but that's no longer a possibility."

"What happened, Buffy?" Willow sounded concerned. "I thought Riley was a nice guy."

"He is a nice guy," Buffy assured her friend. "But I won't be dating him this time around."

Spike muttered something that she couldn't quite catch.

"What's that?" Buffy asked sweetly.

"Said he shouldn't have been seein' you in the first place as your TA. Got to be a violation of the school code."

Buffy gave an exasperated huff. "It doesn't matter, Spike, because it's not going to happen."

Giles cleared his throat. "If that's all, Buffy, perhaps we can talk about patrolling."

"We're patrolling," Buffy said off-handedly.

"And who is we?" Giles asked.

"Spike and I," Buffy said. "We're going to sweep the cemeteries tonight, and I'm staying with my mom this weekend."

Giles nodded. "I think that's a good idea."

"So do I," Willow murmured with a secret smile and a look at Oz.

Buffy grinned when both Xander and Giles winced at that idea. "I'm glad you approve. We'll see you tomorrow night."

~~~~~

Joyce smiled as she opened the door to see Spike on the other side. "Hello, Spike. Buffy should be coming down any minute now."

"Yeah, alright." Spike stepped inside, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. "How are you, Joyce?"

She smiled. "I'm fine. Buffy said you decided to get an apartment, instead of going back to the crypt."

Spike shrugged. "Seemed like the thing to do."

"She also said you were dating now."

Spike's expression reminded Joyce of a little boy who had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "She did, huh?"

"Were you planning on telling me?" Joyce asked.

He shrugged. "Didn't know that Buffy wanted to tell anybody."

"Why wouldn't she?" Joyce had no idea why her daughter would want to keep a relationship with Spike a secret. Granted, he was a vampire, but Buffy hadn't let that stop her in the past. It certainly couldn't be because she feared Joyce's disapproval; that hadn't deterred her either.

"Because I didn't tell anybody the last time," Buffy supplied from the stairs. "There were issues."

"You can say that again," Spike muttered.

Joyce decided that she didn't want to know. The discomfort on Buffy's face and the pain in Spike's eyes suggested that it wouldn't be a pleasant tale. Ignorance was often bliss when it came to her daughter's extracurricular activities. "Well, I hope you know that you're welcome here anytime, Spike."

"Yeah, thanks." Spike looked so embarrassed and uncomfortable that Joyce turned to her daughter. "What time do you think you'll be home?"

"Much later," Buffy replied cheerfully. "You probably better not wait up. Are we still on for shopping tomorrow?"

"Whenever you wake up." Joyce looked at Spike. "Did you want to come with us?"

His eyes widened. "Shopping? Don't think so, but thanks anyway."

Buffy snickered. "Oh, come on, Spike. I'm sure you need some new clothes."

"I'll take care of it, thank you very much. Don't need the two of you messin' about in my closet."

"We wouldn't be in your closet," Joyce pointed out reasonably.

Spike shook his head adamantly. "I can do my own shoppin', and what I've got is just fine."

Buffy snorted, but didn't say anything in reply. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mom."

"Be careful!" Joyce called as the two of them left.

Spike turned to look at her over his shoulder. "I'll take care of her, Joyce."

Joyce didn't doubt that for a minute, which was the main reason she wasn't all that disappointed about the two of them dating. Besides, Spike didn't sneak around as Angel had. Joyce appreciated the fact that he was so up-front about everything.

Plus, knowing what he would do in the future—or what he had done the first time around—had her almost happy about Buffy being with a vampire.

~~~~~

"So, you're stayin' with your mum again?"

Buffy looked a little sheepish. "I know it's not the college-girl thing to do, but I want to spend as much time with her as possible."

"You worried about how it's goin' to go down this time around?" Spike inquired.

Her eyes were distant. "A little. I mean, it's hard to tell how much we can change."

"Might be able to change everythin'. No point in borrowing trouble." Spike smiled shyly. "You told your mum about us."

"The whole point of this is to do things differently," Buffy replied, reaching for his hand. "I don't have anything to be ashamed of."

Spike let out an unnecessary breath. "You haven't told her about..."

"Why would I?" Buffy led him over to a stone bench. "I guess we haven't talked about this, have we?"

"Not really, no." Spike couldn't meet her eyes. "I know I told you I was sorry, an' I know it's not enough, but—"

"Don't." Buffy took a deep breath. "If we talk about this now, can this be the only time we talk about it?"

Spike nodded. "Whatever you like, luv. I know I don't have the right—"

"Stop it," Buffy said sharply. "That's just it, Spike. You keep forgetting that we both screwed this up. We both did some really shitty things last year. Or—well, last year for us, anyway. You know what I'm trying to say."

"Yeah, I do," Spike said. "What I did, though—I broke every promise I made to you."

"You did," Buffy said evenly. "And that might have made a difference in my feelings for you, except that you came back, and you're the only one who ever did."

Spike swallowed. "So, we really doin' this?"

"I'm up for it, if you are," Buffy replied.

He eyed her warily. "You're talkin' about pullin' out all the stops, yeah? Not lyin' about what we're doin', not sneakin' around, real dates."

"That's what I'm talking about," Buffy agreed. "And no violence. I mean, the sex is great, and I don't mind it a little rough sometimes, but I don't want to get into the habit of hurting each other again."

Spike was charmed by Buffy's blush. "I don't have a problem with that, Buffy."

"Good." She flushed even more deeply. "Kiss me?"

Unable to resist her invitation—and without the slightest inclination to do so—Spike leaned in. It was so easy to get lost in her—in her taste, in her scent, in the feel of her hands creeping under his duster. Spike twined one hand in her hair, cupping her cheek with the other.

He kept his touch light and undemanding, not wanting to cross a line. She deepened the kiss, her tongue seeking entrance, and Spike let her set the pace. Buffy's hand came up to caress his face, her thumb tracing the line of his jaw as she pulled back.

"I think we're supposed to be patrolling," she murmured regretfully.

Spike sighed, resting his forehead against hers. "Yeah. S'pose so."

"I don't think I can spend the night tonight," she said regretfully. "Maybe during the week, but I don't want to rub my mom's face in the fact that I'm sleeping with you."

Spike smiled. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her?"

"Something like that." Buffy looked somber. "Besides, I don't know how long she's going to be around. I want things to be good between us, you know?"

Spike nodded, brushing her hair out of her face. "I do know." He rose from the bench, and Buffy followed him. "Have you two talked about Dawn showin' up yet?"

"Not really. I have a feeling that she won't even remember the conversation if we do." Buffy stopped. "Crap. I didn't even think about that. Are we going to remember everything that comes after Dawn showing up if the monks do their memory spell?"

Spike had no idea. They hadn't even considered that possibility, since they were supposed to be arriving after the memory spell. "Dunno. They just kind of stuck Dawn in, didn't they? It wasn't like they took away memories you already had."

Buffy heaved a sigh of relief. "I guess so. Of course, even if they did remove some memories, I wouldn't know, would I?"

They shared a look, and Spike started chuckling at the same time Buffy let out a giggle. "Think that falls under the category of things we can't do anything about, luv."

She shook her head. "You're right."

He smirked. "Say that again?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, but she complied with fairly good grace. "You're right, Spike. We shouldn't worry about it, because there's nothing we can do."

"Anything else you want to tell me I'm right about?" he asked.

"Don't push it, mister," Buffy warned him.

Spike grinned. His evening just kept getting better.

~~~~~

Willow pulled the chain mail over her head, pleased with her reflection, and the idea for her and Oz's Halloween costumes. Knowing Oz, he wasn't going to dress up in anything too crazy, and this was perfect.

"Looking good, Will," Buffy said, entering the bedroom.

Willow turned and grinned. "Thanks!" She frowned. "Where's your costume?"

"I just have to put it on," Buffy assured her. "I've spent the last hour convincing Spike that it's okay for him to celebrate Halloween, even though it's a really tacky holiday, and that he should dress up."

Willow couldn't wait to hear what Spike had to say about the whole affair. She had a feeling that he was going to be using a lot of sarcasm, and as long as his wit wasn't aimed at her, he was funny. "What's he dressing up as?"

Buffy smirked. "He joked about going as the big, bad wolf, but he said he wasn't going to wear that much fur. So, he's going as death. Spike said it was appropriate."

Willow winced, but couldn't argue. "Yeah, I guess."

"Is something wrong, Will?" Buffy asked.

Willow shook her head. "No, it's just weird, you know? You being with Spike. He was trying to kill us a few weeks ago, and you were worried about him getting the Gem of Amara. Now, he has the Gem, and you guys are dating, and it's like no big deal."

Buffy sat down on the bed next to her. "I know how weird it seems, but so much has happened between us."

"When did you fall in love with him?" Willow asked.

"In love?" Buffy rose and began to undress. "Who said anything about love?"

Willow was almost certain that Buffy was in love with Spike. All the signs were there, and Buffy wouldn't date a vampire lightly. "Come on, Buffy. I've seen how you guys look at each other. Are you telling me that you would be dating him if you didn't have feelings for him?"

"I didn't say that I don't have feelings for Spike." Buffy pulled her dress on. "I just don't know if it's love."

"What else would it be?" Willow was puzzled. "You like him, don't you?"

Buffy refused to meet her eyes. "Yes, of course."

"Okay. You enjoy spending time with him?"

"Yeah."

"You want to jump his bones?"

"Will!"

"Well?" Willow raised her eyebrows patiently. "Do you? Because he's a hottie."

Buffy scowled. "Attraction has never been a problem with us."

"You slept with him?"

"A lot," Buffy admitted.

"You like him, you like spending time with him, and you're attracted to him. That spells love to me," Willow said triumphantly, having proved her point. "So, what's the problem?"

Buffy sighed. "The problem is that there's a lot that's happened between us. We've done things to each other, and I've hurt him..."

When she trailed off, Willow stood and walked over to her. "Are you worried that he won't forgive you? Because I've seen how he looks at you, Buffy. I don't think that's something you have to worry about."

"It's not about him forgiving me, it's about us having a real relationship." Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, and then looked at her friend. "I want to try. I just don't know if it's going to work."

Willow grimaced sympathetically. "Well, I'm with a werewolf, and we've made it work. And from what you've said, Xander made it work with an ex-vengeance demon. You guys are good together; even Xander can see it, although he won't admit it out loud."

"Maybe." Buffy shook her head ruefully. "Okay, no maybe about it. We are good together, but how long is it going to last?"

"I think you're focusing on the wrong thing here, Buffy."

"What's that?" she asked.

"You're focusing on when it's going to end, instead of focusing on what you have right now." Willow put her hand on Buffy's shoulder. "You shouldn't take it for granted, but don't focus on the wrong thing, either."

Buffy shook her head. "That's just it, Will. Every other relationship I've had has failed, usually because I screw it up."

Willow smiled. "Then don't screw it up, if you want it that bad."

Willow knew that it was easier said than done, but she thought it was good advice. She couldn't help but wonder if Buffy's knowledge of the future would cause the Slayer to be more cautious, or perhaps more pessimistic. Knowing what was coming—

Well, Willow had often wished for a crystal ball, but seeing the effects of that sort of clairvoyance up close made her change her mind. In a way, Willow thought she might have more hope for the future than Buffy did.

~~~~~

Spike settled the black cloak over his shoulders, tying it at the neck and pulling the hood up over his face. It wasn't a bad costume as those sorts of things went. In truth, he couldn't be arsed to do more than put on the cloak and carry a big weapon.

The scythe was real, although he'd painted the blade to dull the shine. The demons and vampires would likely be staying in on Halloween, but there were no guarantees that the soldiers would do the same. Spike wasn't taking any chances with the bastards this time around.

Spike had no idea why he was dressing up and going to a party when he had no desire to do either. Not even the free booze that Buffy had promised him would normally be enough to tempt him to do something as ridiculous as this.

He sighed. Spike knew exactly why he was doing this. It had everything to do with the fact that he was trying to prove to Buffy that he could fit inside her world. He'd made a lot of noise about her place being in the darkness with him, and that hadn't worked out well for him at all. Now it was time to try something a little different, but Spike had to wonder if it was worth it.

Not that Spike had a real choice in the matter. He was Love's Bitch, after all.

As he crossed the campus, Spike caught sight of a group of commandos, and his grip on the scythe tightened. He still remembered the shame of being forced to go to the Slayer and her friends for help; Spike couldn't even say that it had turned out for the best at this point.

Although he had more hope now than he'd had in a very long time.

Spike avoided the knot of men carefully, not wanting to alert them to the presence of a vampire. He had no idea what kind of equipment they were carrying with them.

Buffy and Willow were waiting for him just outside the dorm when he arrived. "Is everything okay?" Buffy asked, peering underneath his hood to catch a glimpse of his face.

"Just peachy," Spike replied with a tight smile.

She frowned. "It's not okay. What happened, Spike?"

He shook his head. "Saw a bunch of the soldier-boys passing by. Just brings up bad memories."

Buffy swallowed, then turned to Willow. "Are you guys okay going to the party by yourselves? We'll walk you over to meet Oz, but it might be better if we're not on campus with the rest of the student body." She sighed. "I had forgotten that they'd be out and about tonight."

"We don't have to do that, Buffy," Spike said, hating to disappoint her, as reluctant as he'd been to go to the party in the first place.

Willow brightened. "Oh! Why don't we go to the Bronze? They're doing something Halloween-y tonight, and it's not like you have to worry about the haunted house that's literally haunted."

"I thought Oz was supposed to be at the party," Buffy objected.

Willow shrugged. "If he wants to put in an appearance, we can show up and then meet up with you guys later at the Bronze. I'm sure he won't mind."

"Thanks, Will," Buffy said. "I think that will work." She looked at Spike. "Okay?"

It was the first time in—well, it was the first time that Buffy had ever taken his wishes into consideration when making plans. Or changing her plans, which was slightly different. "Yeah, that's great. 'Preciate it, Red."

Willow shrugged off his thanks. "It's not a big deal. I mean, we live on the Hellmouth, so it's not like a haunted house holds much appeal."

"Come on," Buffy said, grabbing his hand. "Oz is probably waiting for us."

Spike felt Buffy's grip tighten on his hand, and he squeezed back, thinking that maybe he wasn't such a fool after all.