Fix You by Enigmaticblue

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Chapter 5: Bumps in the Road

"How were classes?" Spike asked as they walked to his car.

Buffy shrugged. "Turns out I remember more than I thought. So, what did you do today?"

"Checked to see if the crypt was occupied," Spike said. "Picked up a few things. That's about it."

"You're really going back to the crypt, huh?" Buffy asked.

Spike was a little surprised at her tone. "You were expectin' me to do somethin' else?"

She shook her head. "No, it's just—a lot of memories, you know? And—it's weird not to have you around."

Spike wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. "Yeah. Same here."

"Maybe we could go over there after patrol tonight?" Buffy suggested. "We'd probably better swing by Giles' place at some point, too. I want to discuss the Initiative more." She made a face. "And the Gentlemen. I keep thinking of things that are coming, and—"

Spike cut her off by putting a hand on her shoulder, pulling her to a stop. "You survived all that once before, Buffy. No reason to think that it'll give you any more trouble this time around."

"That's just it, Spike," Buffy replied. "I know what's coming, but I don't know what to do about it all. What about Glory? Do we kill Ben before she has a chance to hurt Dawn this time? Or maybe we should send Dawn away with Mom. Would that be safer?"

Spike shook his head, moving his hand from her shoulder to her cheek. "I don't know the answers, luv, but I'm with you all the way."

Buffy leaned into his touch. "Thank you. Where's your car?"

"Close," Spike replied, pointing.

Her eyebrows went up when she saw the clean car, its windows free of paint. "Wow."

"Told you I'd cleaned it up. Took me most of the day."

"You weren't kidding." She grinned at him. "It almost looks like it'll run now."

Spike snorted. "I've never had a problem getting that car to run, luv." He'd also stopped by the cavern where he'd located the Gem of Amara and picked up a few items to exchange for cash. That had taken enough time that he'd had to put off getting necessary items for the crypt. But now that he had money, Spike didn't have to worry about stealing, thereby avoiding twinges from his soul.

It also meant that he could avoid getting a job, since he planned on putting himself at Buffy's disposal.

He opened the door for her and was treated to a bright smile. "Thank you, Spike."

"You're welcome."

It was a change to be polite to one another—polite, but warm. Buffy's smile, her eyes, the way she looked at him told Spike that their relationship was different. In fact, with her sitting in the passenger seat of his car, and him driving her home, Spike almost felt as though they were on a date.

If they weren't having dinner with her mom, Spike would have almost been able to pretend that it was a date.

"This brings back memories," Buffy murmured as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Spike frowned. "What's that?"

"You don't remember?" she asked. "The night you told me how you felt?"

Spike swallowed hard. He remembered all too well and would have preferred to forget. "Yeah."

Buffy looked almost sympathetic. "If it makes you feel any better, it's kind of funny now."

"Which part?" Spike asked dryly. "The part where you told me it was hopeless, or the part where I chained you up?"

"The chaining me up part," Buffy replied. "Did you really think that would help your cause?"

Spike winced. "It wasn't my best moment."

"No kidding."

He sighed, wishing that Buffy would have allowed him to enjoy the fantasy of being on a date without bringing that night up. Spike stayed silent, not knowing quite what to say.

"I was wrong, though," Buffy continued.

Spike glanced over at her. "Wrong about what?" He honestly wasn't sure he'd heard those words come out of Buffy's mouth before.

"About you not having a shot with me." She smiled softly. "Thanks for doing this, Spike."

He was too shocked by her first statement for her gratitude to fully register at first. "Huh? Thanks for what?"

"Coming back with me," she replied. "I think I'd go crazy if I was alone."

"You wouldn't go crazy," Spike said. "You're stronger than that, pet."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm stronger with you here."

It was the sort of admission that Spike hadn't thought he would ever hear from her, and it wasn't a stretch to say that he was shocked speechless.

Buffy smirked. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Buffy—" Spike wondered if she knew what those words meant to him.

Her hand came to rest on his leg. "We've come a long way, Spike."

"Yeah, we have," Spike replied, feeling as though he was living a dream.

~~~~~

Joyce wasn't quite sure how she felt about her daughter dating a vampire. Even though she was fairly certain that both Buffy and Spike would be quick to deny that they were a couple, it seemed undeniable from her observations. The way that Spike looked at Buffy when he didn't think she'd notice, or the way that Buffy watched him leave or enter a room—Joyce remembered feeling that way early in her relationship with Hank.

When she hadn't been able to get enough of him, and her heart had beat just a little faster every time she saw him. When every look they exchanged had some hidden meaning, and they spoke a language that no one else knew.

That was Spike and Buffy all over, and Joyce had a feeling that everyone could see it but them.

"How were classes, Buffy?" she asked as she set the plate of chicken on the table.

Buffy made a face. "I can't believe how many people have asked me about that."

"You're a student again, Summers," Spike said. "Get used to it."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Classes were good, although being in Walsh's class was a little weird."

Spike couldn't help his growl. "That—"

"Spike!" Buffy said sharply.

Joyce had no idea what Spike had been planning to say, but she had a feeling that it wasn't going to be very complimentary. "Is that the woman who ran the secret government organization?" she asked, vaguely remembering Buffy's explanation about the Initiative from the day before.

"That's the one," Buffy replied. "She doesn't know about me, though, and I think I want to keep it that way." She frowned. "Maybe we can invoke the First Slayer earlier this time, so we can meet Adam when he escapes."

"You know when that's going to be?" Spike asked.

Buffy nodded. "I think so. I have some idea, anyway."

"We can talk to Rupert about that tonight."

Joyce glanced over at the vampire, noticing that he had filled his plate. She was a little surprised that he was eating human food, but then again, she didn't know much about vampires.

And she had a feeling that Spike wasn't exactly a typical vampire.

"You're going to see Mr. Giles tonight?"

"After patrol," Buffy explained.

"And you have a place to stay, Spike?" Joyce asked. "Because if you don't—"

"I'll be fine," Spike assured her. "What I've got is good enough for the likes of me."

Joyce wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she could see Buffy's frown. "You don't have to go back to the crypt, you know." Buffy's tone indicated that they had already covered this ground before.

Spike smiled. "Buffy, we talked about this. And from what I remember, you didn't hate the place."

Buffy flushed. "The crypt wasn't always so bad," she admitted reluctantly.

Spike's satisfied smile told Joyce a lot, probably more than she wanted to know. "Do you need anything?" she asked. "I have extra blankets that I'm not using."

He looked a bit stunned. "Yeah, that would be great. I can get them back to you, but I haven't had a chance to pick up any furniture yet."

Joyce frowned at him. "Spike, I have a free bed here. There's no point in you sleeping on the ground."

"I don't want to put you out," he protested.

Buffy laughed. "You're not going to win this one, Spike. Mom has that look on her face."

"Buffy's right," Joyce said firmly. "I'll lend you a key, and you can let yourself in after you patrol."

Spike appeared taken aback, but he didn't argue. "Yeah, sure, if you insist."

"I do." Joyce had had a soft spot for Spike ever since he'd cried over Drusilla. Buffy's trust in him only reinforced it.

Buffy smirked. "I knew she was going to insist."

Spike grunted but didn't reply.

"Is it okay if I stay here this weekend, Mom?" Buffy asked.

Joyce smiled. "Of course, sweetheart. I'll talk to my assistant; maybe we can do something on Saturday." She knew exactly what was causing Buffy's sudden need for her company, but Joyce didn't mind. Although there were times that she'd enjoyed having the house to herself, she'd missed her daughter, too.

For so long, Joyce had felt cut off from Buffy's life, but it seemed that they had a chance to reconnect now. No matter how much time she had left, Joyce wasn't going to waste this opportunity.

~~~~~

Giles passed Buffy an ice pack. "A dozen?"

"The vampires have relocated since the Initiative has set up on campus," Buffy replied, holding the ice pack to her shoulder.

"As have the demons," Spike muttered. "Don't remember it being this bad last time." There was a bruise forming along his jaw and a sullen expression on his face. Giles wasn't sure what had happened between them, but he could feel the tension in the room.

Buffy shot him a look. "That's because you weren't patrolling with me last time."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? I think you're forgettin' all the pissed off demons that were comin' after me once I started helpin' you."

Giles decided that it was a good time to interrupt the coming argument. "Yes, well, I'm sure you both are doing your best now, whatever happened in the past."

"It's only going to get worse," Buffy stated. "Once Adam escapes and gets his gang together, it'll be vampire-demon tag teams unless we can stop him."

"Vampires and demons don't work together," Giles objected.

Buffy shrugged. "That was before Adam."

"Mr. Bits 'n Pieces is persuasive," Spike added.

Giles cleared his throat. "How long do we have before this thing makes its appearance?"

"A few months," Buffy replied. "In the meantime, we've got enchanted beer—although Cave Buffy won't be a problem—restless Indian spirits, the Gentlemen, an apocalypse..." She paused. "What am I missing, Spike?"

"Other than the Initiative?" Spike asked. "Nothing I can think of, but then I wasn't payin' nearly as much as attention."

"What will you do, Buffy?" Giles had been wondering all day what his Slayer was planning. The current circumstances were unprecedented; he wanted a detailed summary of the next few years so that he could start planning.

Buffy shrugged. "Live my life, kill demons, try to keep from dying. That seems to be where it went wrong the last time."

"And Spike?" Giles asked, looking at the vampire. "What about you?"

He smirked. "Live my life, kill demons, try to keep the Slayer from dyin'."

Giles cleared his throat. "And where are you staying?"

"My old crypt, at least as soon as I get a bed. Joyce insisted I stay with her 'til then." Spike shrugged. "I never was one to argue with a lady."

Buffy snorted her disbelief.

Spike gave her a patently artificial smile. "Never said you were a lady."

"Children!" Giles said, wondering what had happened between the two of them. They had been so friendly the day before. "Would either of you like to tell me what happened tonight?"

Spike looked sullen. "Nothin' happened."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Spike's pissed off because I went after the biggest vampire and left him with the scrawny one."

"An' he threw you into the side of the mausoleum," Spike snapped. "Told you to wait for me." He looked at Giles. "You're her bloody Watcher. You tell her not to be so soddin' careless."

Giles raised his eyebrows. "We are both talking about Buffy, aren't we?"

"Giles!" Buffy protested. "I am not careless."

"Perhaps not," he acknowledged. "But you do have a tendency to be impetuous at times."

Buffy snorted, saying sarcastically, "I think you're talking about Spike."

The vampire rose. "Yeah, I know when I'm not wanted. I'll see you around, Slayer."

Spike was gone before either of them could stop him, and Giles looked over at her. "Would you care to tell me what that was about? I know it's not simply that you were hurt."

"I wasn't not hurt, not that badly," Buffy argued, then sighed. "I might have yelled at him."

Giles frowned. "And that upset him?"

Buffy hesitated, then admitted, "I got knocked out for a second or two after I hit the mausoleum. Spike freaked out and yelled at me because I didn't wait for him, and I said that if he was going to be pissy about me doing my job, he should have stayed behind." She grimaced. "I meant tonight, but Spike thought I meant stayed behind in the future, and he got upset. Apparently he's not talking to me now"

"Does this happen often?" Giles asked. "You two seemed rather close."

"We are." Buffy shifted. "Most of the time. I—I didn't tell you that Spike and me—we were involved for a while. Really involved."

"After he got his soul?"

"Before," Buffy admitted in a low voice. "It was after Willow brought me back, and things got..." She shrugged. "It's hard to explain. I hurt him, and he hurt me, and then he went off to get his soul. Things still aren't right, though. I mean, I don't think he understands that..." She stopped, clearly uncomfortable.

Giles frowned, beginning to get the picture. "And how did everyone react to your relationship with Spike? I would assume that—"

"They didn't know about it," Buffy stated, cutting him off. "I didn't tell anybody until after we broke—until after I broke it off."

"I see." Giles sat back in his chair, regarding his Slayer with what he hoped was compassion. He knew that Buffy was extraordinary, but he couldn't help but wonder what it was about her that seemed to draw vampires like moths to a flame. With the same results. "Three days ago, I would have told you that the very idea of a vampire seeking a soul was preposterous. That kind of sacrifice is impossible for a creature of evil to make."

"Spike wasn't exactly evil," Buffy muttered.

"I'm beginning to realize that." Giles sighed. "He obviously cares for you a great deal, Buffy. You may want to keep that in mind the next time you get angry with him. I've found that tends to help you refrain from saying something you'll only regret later."

"I'll keep that in mind," Buffy replied, rising from the couch. "I should get going. I've got class in the morning."

"Of course," Giles said, showing her out the door. He closed it behind her, wondering what—if anything—he would say when Buffy told him that she was seeing Spike.

Giles sighed. At least this vampire's soul was permanent.

~~~~~

Spike stood on the platform, seeing Dawn's tear-streaked face. Doc stood between him and his goal, and all he could think about was getting to the girl. He had promised—'til the end of the world.

Even if that was tonight.

He rushed forward, trying to beat the old man to the punch. Spike should have known how fast the demon was. He should have been prepared for it. Spike felt the knife sliding in, the burning pain from the blade. Doc was stronger than Spike had expected, shoving him off the edge of the platform and out into thin air—

He flew, his back hitting the wall. Buffy lay on the floor before him, hands pulling her robe closed. Spike was shocked—horrified at what he'd nearly done. What he had done. It was another promise broken.

Buffy's voice echoed in his ears. "Ask me again why I could never love you."

Spike woke from his nightmare, tangled in the sheets. After leaving Giles' flat, he'd come back to the Summers' house as Joyce had insisted he do, but now he wondered what he was doing there.

He didn't deserve to be there, and if Joyce knew the truth—

Spike rolled out of bed, pulling his clothing on quickly. Buffy had been right; he never should have come back. Perhaps if he'd stayed behind, she would have had the strength to stake him, since she knew what was to come.

If he hadn't returned with her, maybe Buffy would have dusted him, or at least refused him entrance when he came to her for help. Spike knew he'd been a fool to believe that things might be different this time around, that she might have forgiven him.

Once again, Spike heard her voice. "If you have such a problem with me doing my job, then maybe you should have stayed behind, Spike."

He snorted. That outburst, just after she'd said that she'd go crazy without him, that he made her stronger, told Spike that things hadn't changed. Buffy still didn't know what she wanted from him; she was still using him.

Spike shoved his feet into his boots and then stopped. "You stupid prat," he whispered, angry at himself for hoping for anything different.

He knew Buffy well enough to know that she probably hadn't meant it quite the way it had come out. They both had a tendency to speak before thinking. Still...

Spike shook his head to clear it. He'd already made his decision; he was Love's Bitch, soul or no soul, and Buffy was the woman he loved, no matter how she treated him.

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when he made his way downstairs, and he had every intention of taking off, not wanting to face Buffy's mother with the memories of his failures so close. Joyce's voice stopped him before he was halfway to the door. "Spike? Are you leaving already?"

Spike turned to offer a reassuring smile. "Figured I'd better get a head start on everythin' I have to do today. Thanks for your hospitality, though."

"Did you want the blood that's in the fridge?" Joyce asked.

Spike hesitated. What he wanted was to get out of there, away from reminders of what he'd done, but he was hungry, and he'd need to eat soon. "Yeah. Forgot it was there. Might as well have breakfast first."

"Are you okay?" Joyce asked, her eyes searching his face.

He shrugged. "'Course. Why wouldn't I be?"

For a moment, he thought that she might argue with him, but instead she merely shook her head, not pressing for an answer. "Will you see Buffy today?"

Spike sighed. "Dunno. We had a bit of a row last night."

Joyce looked amused. "Is that unusual?"

An unwilling smile crossed Spike's face. "Not really."

She patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I'm sure Buffy's forgotten about it already."

Spike didn't respond, knowing that the chances of Buffy forgetting were slim. Their disagreement from the previous night was minor in comparison to all the things they'd said to one another—and done to one another, but it was a symptom of a greater problem.

And Spike didn't—couldn't—believe that they'd left their problems in the future.

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