Fix You by Enigmaticblue

Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures where the First is involved. In order to prevent the end of the world, Buffy asks Willow to do a spell that's supposed to fix everything, and Spike goes along for the ride.

Chapter 14: Fixing What's Broken

Buffy looked over at Spike. She'd known immediately when the spell had broken. The difference between hating him and loving him was the difference between night and day. "Spike?"

"Don't." His forehead rested on his knees, his voice muffled.

"It's not your fault. It was a spell."

When he didn't reply, Buffy moved from the telephone to sit down on the floor next to him. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anythin' to be sorry for." He finally raised his head to look at her. "Buffy, I—"

She touched his lips with a gentle hand, stopping his words. "I wanted it."

"I raped you!" Tears of outrage stood out in his eyes. "Buffy, you should be staking me right now." Spike pulled the ring off, holding it out to her. "Take it. Just—"

She folded his fingers back over the ring. "You did not rape me." Buffy was sure to enunciate every word. "Just because that spell manufactured feelings, it didn't change the attraction, Spike." He opened his mouth to argue, but Buffy forged on. "Okay, you remember when I handcuffed you?"

His eyes were wary. "Which time?"

"The time we both walked away limping," she replied. When Spike nodded, Buffy continued. "It was like that. I wanted the sex, but I didn't want you."

Spike shook his head. "I was there, too, Buffy. I knew—"

"If I'd wound up on top, I'd have done the same thing," Buffy stated bluntly. "And I wouldn't have cared whether or not you wanted me." She stood and held out her hand. "Come on."

Some of her words must have gotten through, because he took her hand and allowed her to pull him to his feet. They were both sore after a night of fighting—among other things. She'd spoken the truth, however. She might have hated him, but she'd still wanted him.

Willow still had a lot to answer for.

"Are you going to put the ring back on?" Buffy asked.

Spike slipped it back on his finger. "You're not lyin' to me, are you?"

"I wouldn't do that." Buffy sat down next to him on the couch. "You know, I never told you that I thought you were a real hottie the first time I saw you. Your fashion sense sucked, but other than that..." She trailed off, smiling.

"Didn't suck," Spike shot back. "An' look who's talkin'. Don't know what you were callin' the dresses you were wearin' back then, but they weren't any longer on you than my t-shirts."

Buffy was relieved that he was teasing her. "Spike?"

"Yeah, pet?"

"I love you."

She felt the stillness, felt the breath go right out of him. Slowly, he turned to face her. "Say it again," he said hoarsely.

"I love you." It was a revelation, really. The moment the spell had ended, Buffy had known. She hadn't been certain until just that moment.

"Even after—"

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Okay, you know what? If you can forgive me for what I said, I think I can forgive you, too. I am just as big of a person as you are, mister."

That startled Spike into a chuckle. "Yeah, okay. Guess we're even, then."

"Oh, I think we're a little bit more than that." Buffy leaned in and captured his lips with hers in a gentle kiss, mindful of the bruises she'd given him.

Spike cupped her face as she pulled back. "You gonna be okay, luv?"

"I'm a little sore, but otherwise I'm okay."

Spike shook his head, but he didn't argue further. "You got somewhere to be?"

"No," Buffy replied. "It's Saturday, so no classes. I think I'll just stay right here, if that's okay with you."

His arms tightened around her. "You won't hear any complaints from me."

Given the activities of the previous evening, it was no surprise that they both fell asleep almost immediately.

~~~~~

Giles had truthfully expected Buffy and Spike much earlier, but when they finally showed up around nine, he understood. Both of them sported bruises, and were walking in a way that told him there were injuries he couldn't see. "Are you two alright?" he asked.

Buffy managed a smile. "We're a little worse for wear, but we'll survive."

"Was it Willow's spell?"

Spike snorted. "When is it anything else?"

"Yeah, it was, although a little different than last time." Buffy's tone was wry. "I was really hoping that we could skip this little event."

"What happened?"

"This time or last time?" Buffy asked.

"Both, actually," Giles clarified.

They exchanged a look, and Buffy spoke. "This time we beat each other up, but thankfully we didn't kill each other."

"Last time, Willow suggested we get married, an' we got engaged. She also said that you were blind, an' that Harris was a demon magnet." Spike's expression was sardonic. "You can imagine how that turned out."

Giles winced. "I'm assuming that I got my sight back."

"As soon as she reversed the spell," Buffy confirmed. "After a visit from D'Hoffryn offering her a job as a vengeance demon. Giles, we need to get her trained. I thought maybe things would be different this time, with the way things turned out with Oz, but—"

"I've already spoken to her about that," Giles assured her. "I don't think it would happen until this summer, because there are her classes to consider, but I plan on making arrangements as soon as possible."

Buffy nodded. "I think that's a good idea. The coven seemed to help Willow a lot last time, but it might be better if she goes sooner rather than later."

Giles nodded, wondering what had happened last time that had sent her to the coven. He couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't intervened sooner, particularly if she'd nearly blinded him. "Are you two going to patrol tonight?" he asked. "You might want to rest."

Buffy smiled. "We're fine, Giles. We'll probably do a quick circuit, and then head back to Spike's."

"Ah, yes." Giles raised his eyebrows. "Would you mind giving me your address and phone number, Spike? I realized last night that I didn't have any way to find you, and there might come a time when I need to."

Spike nodded. "Yeah, sure. Know I can trust you." The vampire wrote the information down on the pad of paper Giles handed him, his script flowing and rather ornate.

"Thank you," Giles said. "Be careful tonight, both of you."

Buffy gave him a fond look. "We'll be fine. Really."

Giles watched them leave and thought about everything that might have gone wrong with Willow's spell. If Buffy had managed to kill Spike—or the other way around—while the spell was in effect, she would have been terribly upset.

He winced. No. If he were honest with himself, Giles knew that Buffy would have been devastated, and the same would have been true for Spike.

Giles knew that he would have to find a way to convince Willow to go for training of some sort; he would insist upon it. He thought it likely that she would still listen to him, and it was best to do it now, before it was too late.

~~~~~

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"You think we ought to do somethin' about Tara?"

She looked over at Spike sharply. "What would we do?"

"Dunno." It had been Giles' comment about the summer that had reminded Spike of the other witch. Depending on how things turned out, Tara might be the one keeping Willow in Sunnydale, or she might not be part of the group at all.

He didn't like the thought of that for some reason.

Buffy took his hand. "You're thinking pretty hard."

"It's just—what Rupert said about the summer. If Tara's around, Red might not agree to go off for training, an' after what happened with Oz..." Spike trailed off. "It's hard to know what'll happen."

"I think we've figured that much out," Buffy replied wryly. "What did you have in mind?"

"Just—I was thinking of her family."

Spike knew the moment that Buffy caught his reference—the night in the Magic Box when Tara's father had tried to take her away, and they had convinced her to stay.

"Maybe it would be better if she didn't get mixed up with us," Buffy said softly. "She might have survived, then."

"With that lot?" Spike argued. "That sort of life wouldn't be worth livin'."

She winced in agreement. "Okay, point. But what are we supposed to do about it?"

"Hell if I know," Spike replied. "I'm not the people-person, remember? That would be you."

She snorted indelicately. "Please, Spike. You're just as good—if not better—with people." At the look he gave her, she added, "And I'm not talking about eating them."

Spike gave her a quick grin at that. "When did she get mixed up with Red?"

Buffy frowned, trying to remember. "When the Gentlemen came to town, I think, although she was in Willow's Wicca group."

"First or second night they were in town?"

"Second," Buffy said. "But I didn't meet her until after I'd switched bodies with Faith. Why?"

Spike shrugged. "Thought we could intercept her maybe. That or tell Red to bring her around sooner."

Buffy made a face. "I don't know, Spike. I think I've meddled in Willow's love life enough."

"And if we stop the Gentlemen before they start carving out hearts, they might never get together," Spike pointed out. "Face it, luv, we're meddling. What went on with Oz an' Willow was nothin' to do with us. You saw that the first time."

Buffy nodded slowly. "I guess."

"You goin' back to campus tonight?" Spike asked, changing the subject while promising himself that he'd find a way to get to Tara, even if no one else did. She'd been a good one.

Buffy made a face. "I don't know. I know I'm going to have to see Willow eventually, but I really don't want to do it tonight."

"Won't be that bad, will it?" he asked. "Last time she baked cookies."

Buffy was quiet for a long moment, and then reached out to take Spike's hand. "I'm angrier this time, though. It's—I know this is the first time, but it brings to mind all the times that Willow tried to fix things with magic. And the effects were worse this time. We—things between us were so good..."

Spike's eyes widened in alarm. "Things are still good. Right, luv?"

"Yeah. Of course."

"No, you're keepin' somethin' from me." They had been wandering through Restfield, and Spike pulled her to a stop. "Buffy? What's wrong?"

"It's not you," she assured him, although Spike wasn't convinced. "It's—we were getting past it, you know? I was so happy, and it was like Willow's spell dug up all this stuff. What I said to you..."

Spike caressed her face. "You didn't mean it."

"I did right then," Buffy argued, even though she leaned into his touch. "I just wish this were easier, you know?"

"They say nothing worth doing is easy," Spike replied.

Buffy pouted prettily. "Well, I hate them, whoever they are."

"Me, too." Spike slung his arm around her shoulders. "Want to find somethin' to kill?"

"Yes, please," Buffy said. "Then I'm going back to your place. I don't have to be back to the dorms until Monday, and I'm taking advantage of it."

Spike smiled. That was a plan he could get behind.

~~~~~

Willow was beginning to get a little nervous. Giles had said that Spike and Buffy were fine, but Buffy hadn't come back to the dorm yet. According to Giles, both Buffy and Spike had been badly bruised. She wondered if Buffy was mad at her.

When the Slayer came through the door around nine, Willow was silent, waiting for her roommate to say something. After a few minutes of silence, Willow couldn't keep still any longer. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine."

Willow's guilt increased tenfold. "Are you sure?"

Buffy finally turned to look at her. "Giles said he talked to you about getting trained. Are you going to do it?"

Willow hesitated. "I'm guessing you want me to."

"I think it's a good idea." Buffy's voice was tight with restrained emotion.

"What happened, Buffy?" Willow asked. "I know I screwed up, but—"

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Spike and I used each other, and we hurt each other, after we'd sworn not to. Your spell put us in a place we'd moved past."

Willow swallowed. "I'm sorry, Buffy. If I'd known—"

"Don't!" Buffy burst out. "You told me that I shouldn't have interfered with you and Oz, and I didn't want to make the same mistake twice."

Willow winced, remembering what she'd said to Buffy just before she'd left the dorm on Friday night. "I really am sorry."

Buffy shook her head. "It's fine."

Willow didn't think it was, but she didn't know what else she could say. "I'll do it, if you think I need to," she promised.

"I think it's a good idea," Buffy replied. "You can't keep using magic to fix things, Willow. It's one thing when you cast a spell to save people's lives, or to fight a monster. Magic isn't to be used for other things, though."

Willow had a feeling that it wasn't just her present self that Buffy was talking to, but also the person she'd become. "Is Spike mad?"

Buffy sat down on her bed. "Not really. He's pretty good at letting things go most of the time."

"Did you—did you hurt him?"

"I said some things I wish I could take back," Buffy said. "And we had angry, pissed-off sex. I wanted it, and he didn't think I did. It messed with his head."

Willow swallowed hard, beginning to get the picture. Things could have been much worse. "Buffy, I—"

"Don't." Her friend sounded tired. "Just promise you won't do another spell like that, not without talking to me first. At least if we've experienced it before, I should be able to tell you how it turned out."

Willow nodded. "Okay," she said in a small voice.

Buffy rose. "I'm going to take a shower."

Willow watched as the door closed behind her friend, a little harder than was probably necessary. She flopped down on the bed, her mind going around in circles. She realized that she'd hurt Buffy badly, and she had no idea how to make it better.

She had a feeling that there weren't enough chocolate chips in the world.

~~~~~

Spike had no trouble breaking into the campus housing office and getting into the computer system. Buffy might be content to wait until Tara showed up, but he wasn't. It was obvious that they wouldn't be able to prevent all the unpleasant events from occurring. What was even more difficult was knowing what wouldn't happen because they'd changed something else.

Since Oz had written Willow, maybe she and Tara wouldn't get together this time. Without the Gentlemen, they might never strike up a friendship in the first place. Without that relationship, it was entirely possible that Tara would go back with her family when they came.

Spike couldn't let that happen; he had a feeling that they would need Tara, just as she'd needed the group. Besides, he had no intention of allowing Warren to survive past the first nasty trick he played on Buffy, so there was no chance that the nerd would have an opportunity to kill her.

He wasn't sure how he was going to contact her, or even if he would, but Spike had every intention of keeping an eye on her.

After he'd collected the information he needed, Spike shut down the computer and let himself out of the office. He was heading back towards his apartment when he saw a dark shape rise up out of the darkness.

Spike cursed fluently, knowing exactly what he was seeing. He turned to run the other way and felt the sting of the taser leads hitting him in the back.

At least, the taser would have stung if he hadn't been wearing the Gem of Amara.

Spike reached behind him, grasping the wires and yanking them out of his back. Without pausing, he leapt at the soldier in front of him, punching him in the solar plexus and then giving him a vicious knee to the groin.

The electricity from one of their strange blaster guns arced, but Spike hit the ground and rolled, coming up right under the soldier with the gun and knocking the butt into his jaw. He could hear the crack of bone, and he grinned broadly at the sound.

The third soldier sprung, sticking his taser into Spike's side, but he shook it off easily, thrusting his elbow into the man's throat. The soldier began gagging, and Spike snatched the taser, using it to bludgeon the man unconscious.

When all three soldiers were on the ground, Spike slipped away into the night, feeling a sense of relief that things had gone a little differently this time around. If he hadn't had the ring, there was every possibility that he would have found himself in the Initiative labs again.

Spike was half-tempted to go see Giles or Buffy, to let them know about the altercation, but it was late. The next day was soon enough, and the Gem would keep him safe.

He'd feel a lot better when the Initiative was out of Sunnydale, though.