Summary: When Buffy falls through the portal in The Gift, she doesn't die. Instead, she turns up in Sunnydale—twenty years in the future. What happens when the one person she thought she'd never be happy to see is the one person who's stayed the same?
Rating: PG-13
Spike met the demon at the pre-arranged spot, handing over the package in exchange for a thick wad of bills. Nothing was said, but that was how business was done, and he certainly hadn't gotten into this line of work for the conversation.
There were plenty of demons who were willing to pay good money for certain amenities that they found hard to purchase in regular stores, others who wanted hard-to-find items that were nearly impossible to locate. Over the last decade, Spike had developed a steady business in obtaining those items. It wasn't illegal, not really. At least, the things he was buying and selling weren't illegal; Spike couldn't say the same about the fact that none of it was taxed.
On the other hand, vampires and demons didn't officially exist, and therefore Spike didn't have to pay taxes, among other things. It had worked out well as far as he was concerned.
Spike honestly had no idea what he was going to do with the Slayer; he had to wonder what Dawn had told her husband. There was no way that she was going to be able to re-enter the world as she'd left it. No one would ever believe that Buffy was Dawn's long-lost sister—even though she was—not when Buffy looked at least ten years younger. They would have to concoct some story, but Spike was buggered if he knew what it ought to be.
He'd already started to think of what they would have to do to bring Buffy back to life, so to speak. There would be paperwork, of course, as well as a hundred other things that Spike had never concerned himself with. He was counting on Rupert to take care of those things; as the head of the Watcher's Council, the man ought to be able to figure something out.
Spike knew that Buffy would need other things as well—feminine things, and clothes, and the like. Living with Dawn for several years had taught him a lot about human females. He probably would have tried to pick up a few things for her, but with Dawn coming into town, and Tara offering to go shopping with her, Spike figured he could just provide the cash and leave it at that.
When he returned to his loft, Buffy was curled up on the couch, watching old reruns of a comedy that Spike recognized but couldn't remember the name of. She wasn't laughing, though, her big eyes solemn.
"What are you watching?" Spike asked.
"Friends," Buffy replied. "Do you remember it?"
"Can't say that I do."
"I wonder how many people have forgotten that it even existed," she mused.
"Dunno. A fair few, I imagine. Dawn probably remembers."
"Maybe." Buffy glanced at him. "How long before we have to leave?"
"'Bout a half hour," Spike said, giving her a sharp look. "You goin' to be okay with this?"
"Do I have another choice?" Buffy asked, her expression wry. "I never have, you know."
"Had what, pet?" Spike asked gently.
"A choice." She sighed. "Is Dawn different?"
"Not really." Spike settled in his overstuffed chair, next to her head. "Most of the changes are from age and experience."
"She's the older sister now," Buffy observed. She twisted to look at him. "This is going to be really hard, isn't it?"
Spike wasn't quite sure what she was referring to. "What's goin' to be hard?"
"Me being alive again." She met his eyes fearlessly, and Spike was a little shocked to see none of her usual animosity. In fact, if he wasn't completely mistaken, he'd have said that there was trust in her eyes. "It's going to be hard. It probably would have been easier if I'd never come back."
Spike wanted to lie, but the truth was that she was right. As grateful as he was to have her back, as much of a miracle as it was, they had all moved on. He was only now beginning to realize how true that was for him.
Each of them had their own lives now, with no room for Buffy. Of everyone, Spike was the one who would most easily be able to rearrange his life. If Buffy needed him, he could take care of her, and he didn't mind doing so. It was easy to remember why he had loved her so much once upon a time.
It was still strange how much he'd forgotten, however.
"Probably," he allowed. "Nothin' worth doin' is ever easy, Buffy."
"That doesn't mean that this is worth doing," Buffy countered. "If I had died..." She paused. "I always wondered, you know—if the world would go on without me. Turns out that it keeps going just fine."
Spike frowned. "That doesn't mean you weren't missed, luv," he quickly objected. "We kept goin' because we didn't have another choice."
"But it's a pain to have me back."
"Not for me."
There was more feeling behind those words than Spike had meant to allow her to hear. Instead of becoming angry or impatient, however, Buffy just watched him. "Twenty years is a long time to carry a torch, Spike."
He couldn't believe that she'd admitted he'd felt something for her at all. "Yeah, it is," he agreed, not wanting to say more. Spike felt the need to change the subject. "We'd better get going."
"Okay." She rose and began to pull on the shoes she'd been wearing when Spike had found her.
Spike wanted to give her some reassurance. "It's gonna be okay, Buffy."
She didn't look convinced. "Will it?" she asked, so quietly that he could barely catch the words.
Spike didn't know what else he could offer her.
~~~~~
Buffy was really nervous; she couldn't remember the last time she'd been this freaked about meeting someone. It was worse than any first date jitters she'd ever had, and this was her sister. Dawn was family; even twenty years shouldn't be able to make a dent in that.
Of course, Buffy also remembered how easy her father had found it to forget about his daughters; it had taken no time at all.
Spike stood by her side, and just a little behind her. Although he wasn't actually touching her, Buffy could feel his presence like a tangible thing. If she leaned back just a little bit, she'd be leaning up against him.
Buffy craned her neck as people began to deplane, streaming towards the baggage carousel. In a way, it had been a relief to arrive at the airport and realize how little had changed.
"Buffy!"
She heard her sister's voice echo through the airport and caught sight of Dawn immediately. Her sister looked very much the same, although older. Dawn had aged well, however, and she didn't look quite as old as Buffy knew her to be. Perhaps no one would ever guess that Buffy was the older of the two, but no one would be terribly surprised to find out that they were sisters.
Dawn's arms came around her, and Buffy clung to her. This felt the same, as though no time at all had passed. After a moment, she pulled back to get a better look. "You look amazing," Buffy said honestly.
"So do you," Dawn replied with a familiar grin. "Spike? Get my bags?"
He raised an eyebrow. "That's it? That's all you're gonna say to me?"
"I just saw you a few months ago," Dawn shot back. "Tyler says hello, by the way."
Spike stalked over to the baggage claim, muttering under his breath. Buffy frowned, feeling a jolt of worry. "Is he really mad?"
Dawn laughed. "No, he's just used to being the center of attention, that's all. You should see the kids anytime he comes over. They're crawling all over him like white on rice."
Buffy gave her sister a look. "I don't think I've heard you use that expression before."
"Tyler says it all the time," Dawn replied, blushing like a girl. "He's from Texas. He has a lot of expressions that I'd never heard before."
Buffy searched her sister's face. "Dawn, I'm sorry. I—"
"Don't." Dawn's voice was firm. "You did what you had to do, Buffy. As weird as this is, I'm glad you're here. You don't know how many times I've wished that you or Mom was there so I could show you something, or tell you about things, or to see my kids. This is a dream come true."
"What did you tell your husband?" Buffy asked, still concerned.
Dawn sighed. "He knows about everything. I had to tell him before we got married. I thought it was only fair, just in case something happened with me being the Key, you know? I wasn't even sure if I could get pregnant, or if I would age normally. Up to that point, everything seemed okay, but he needed to know. And there was Spike, of course. Tyler knew that Spike couldn't go out during the day, but we told him that it was a sun allergy."
"How did he take it?" Buffy asked, having had her share of that sort of conversation.
Dawn shrugged. "Good. It was weird at first, and I didn't know if he'd stay or go, but he accepted it after a while. When I told him about you coming back, he didn't even hesitate. He just said that he'd stay with the kids and that I should leave immediately."
"You'll have to thank him for me," Buffy said, still feeling a little odd hearing Dawn talk about her husband and children, but slowly getting used to the idea.
"I'll do that." Dawn hesitated. "Are you and Spike getting along okay, Buffy? I mean, I know you didn't like him very much before you—left, but he was good to me. He was there for me when no one else was, and I—"
Buffy shook her head, cutting Dawn off. "We've been getting along really well," she admitted. "Spike's been the one familiar thing in all the weirdness, you know?"
"Yeah, I do."
Buffy met Dawn's eyes and knew that twenty years didn't make any difference at all when it came to being sisters.
~~~~~
After Dawn's rather off-handed greeting, Spike was slightly mollified when she pulled out drawings that Kyle and Joy had made for him. "They wanted to come as soon as they found out that I was going to be seeing you," she told him. "I had to promise that you'd come for Christmas."
He shrugged, pretending a nonchalance that he didn't feel. "Said I'd come, didn't I?"
Dawn just smiled then leaned in closer. "How is she doing?"
Buffy was in the bathroom, and Spike knew that Dawn was taking the opportunity to pump him for information that Buffy might not be willing to give up. They both remembered how reticent Buffy had been to talk about how she was feeling. She could be dying inside, but she'd say nothing to anyone, not even to those who loved her most.
Spike shook his head. "Haven't a bloody clue," he admitted. "From what I've gotten out of her, she's struggling. Don't even know if it's hit her yet, how much things have changed. The only people she's seen so far are you, me, an' Tara."
Dawn winced. "That's not a representative cross-section of the population."
"You're tellin' me," Spike muttered in agreement. "Fact is, I think she's expecting to meet Willow and Xander an' see her friends."
Dawn sighed. "I'll try to break it to her gently."
Spike touched her on the shoulder. "Maybe it won't be so bad," he suggested. "They did love her, Dawn."
Dawn grimaced. "Yeah, but they didn't love me as much."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "You did call them, didn't you? She's been askin' about it."
"I called them both this afternoon," Dawn responded. "Anya said that she'd pass the message along, and I had to leave a message for Willow. She knows how to get in touch with me."
"Hey."
They both turned to see Buffy standing at the edge of the tile that marked the beginning of the kitchen floor. She was looking at both of them warily, as though she didn't know quite what to expect.
"I hope you went to the store today," Dawn announced. "Because I'm starving."
Spike shrugged. "Didn't know what you would want. Figured you could go out an' get it yourselves. Give you some time together."
"That would be good," Buffy agreed, still appearing uncertain. She obviously didn't know quite what to do with the dynamic between him and Dawn, which was understandable. Although they'd been close before Buffy had leapt off the tower, they had only grown closer over the years.
Guilt would bind you to a person just as easily as anything else; Spike had believed that his failure was what had killed Buffy, and Dawn had believed it to be her existence. Neither of them had ever spoken of it, but they had each known.
"You need some money?" Spike asked, reaching for his wallet out of habit. Dawn had always needed money as a teenager, and she had started hitting him up for it very early.
Dawn laughed. "Come on, Spike. I think I've got it. We'll see you later."
Spike waved them out the door, wondering if it was just his imagination that Buffy turned slightly to look at him over her shoulder, the expression on her face one of reluctance.
It had to be his imagination; Spike didn't dare think that she'd want anything to do with him now that her sister was there, and with her friends on their way. He had no doubt that they'd find a way to assimilate Buffy into their lives now, and he'd be out in the cold once again.
Well, except for Dawn, Tara, and their families. He could at least count on his welcome there.
~~~~~
"How are you doing?" Dawn asked, once they'd left the apartment. Buffy had a feeling that her sister had been waiting to get her alone to ask that question, in the hopes of getting an honest answer.
Buffy had a feeling that she was going to get tired of people asking her that before this was all over.
"I'm fine, Dawn," she replied, her stock response. At Dawn's exasperated expression, she added, "Really. I mean, I'm everything you'd expect someone in my situation to be, but I'm dealing with it."
Dawn seemed to think better of her question. "What's the worst part?"
"I don't know." Buffy wasn't sure how to respond to that question. "Nothing feels real," she finally admitted. "I feel like I'm in a dream that I can't wake up from. I see people that I used to know but don't recognize anymore, places that feel familiar but aren't. Maybe in a few days it'll all sink in, and then I'll really start to freak out."
Dawn was quiet. "Xander and Willow aren't the same, Buffy."
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, feeling puzzled by the change in subject.
"They've changed, probably the most out of everybody. Giles is pretty much the same person he always was, and so is Tara, but Willow—"
Buffy didn't like where this was going. "What are you saying?"
"Just don't make any rash decisions, okay?" Dawn asked, nearly begging. "They're going to try to tell you how bad Spike is, and everything that he supposedly did wrong, but they don't know what they're talking about." Dawn smiled with grim satisfaction. "At least you turning up makes one thing really obvious."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "What's that?" she asked, for the moment foregoing any questions about what lies Dawn thought they'd try to tell her.
"Willow kept trying to get you out of a hell dimension, and she couldn't figure out why her spells didn't work." Dawn smirked, her expression reminding Buffy very much of Spike. "Well, now we know why. Spike and Giles told her to knock it off after the first time, but she wouldn't, and Tara left her after the second attempt."
Buffy shook her head. "What happened, Dawn?" she demanded. "Spike keeps making vague references to the fact that they don't talk anymore, but I don't get what the big deal was."
"The big deal was that Willow tried to have him killed after he told her off for nearly getting me killed." Dawn's tone was flat. "She was angry that Spike went to Giles and Tara, because she was getting too wrapped up in the magic after Tara left her to have anything to do with me."
Buffy could vaguely understand why this was such a bad thing in Dawn's eyes. Obviously, she and Spike were close, but Buffy could also understand why a vampire wouldn't be the best companion for a teenage girl. "What happened?"
"I found out about it and told Giles," Dawn responded, her voice tight with anger. "He stopped her."
Buffy still felt as though there were large gaps in the story. "I'm not getting the timeline, Dawn."
"This was my senior year of high school," Dawn explained. "Spike had been making sure I got to school and everything since he found out I was skipping classes. I was spending a lot of nights with Tara, because she didn't mind if Spike was there, too. Willow made her third attempt to bring you back, and she let loose this really nasty demon that Spike had to kill, but only after it almost killed me. He got really pissed off at her, and he told her off and then called Giles and Tara. Spike told them that Willow couldn't live in the house anymore."
Buffy frowned, understanding Spike's concern. "What happened?"
"Willow refused to leave, and Giles had to make her move out," Dawn said. "We were getting really short on money, even though Spike kept slipping me whatever I needed, and so he sold the house."
Buffy swallowed. "How bad did it get, Dawn?"
Dawn sighed. "That's about as bad as it did get. Willow moved away from Sunnydale soon afterwards, and we didn't speak for the next few years. We made up when I got married."
"What about Xander?" Buffy asked.
"He's different." Dawn shrugged. "He's married and has two kids now, and he and Anya fight all the time. Sometimes I think that he's miserable, but other times I think that he's one of the happiest people I know."
Buffy snorted. "Why am I not surprised by that?"
"He grew up, and we grew apart." Dawn sighed. "You were the glue, Buffy, and when you were gone, we had to make our own family."
It wasn't what Buffy wanted to hear; she wanted to hear that everyone had stayed the same, that her friends had taken care of Dawn as she'd intended. Spike and Tara had indicated otherwise, but Buffy had never expected Spike to get along with her friends, and Tara was Willow's ex. Dawn had always been really good about telling the truth, however, particularly when Buffy didn't want to hear it.
"What am I going to do, Dawn?" she finally asked.
"Whatever you want to do," Dawn replied. "It's just that you should know the truth before you make a decision."
Buffy glanced off into the distance. "What decision?"
"What you're going to do next." Dawn gave her sister a wry look. "There are sides, Buffy, and they're going to ask you to take one."
"What if I don't want to take a side?" Buffy asked, sounding exasperated. "Maybe I don't have to."
"Maybe," Dawn said dubiously. "Good luck with that."
"Do you mind if I change the subject now?" Buffy asked.
Dawn smiled. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Tell me how you met your husband," Buffy suggested. "I should have been there for that."
"We met at work," Dawn began. "We got assigned to work on a project together, and he kept asking me to go to lunch with him."
~~~~~
When Buffy and Dawn got in late that night, Spike noted that Buffy appeared thoughtful. "How was your night on the town?" he asked, striving to keep his tone light. He didn't want to scare Buffy off, not when she seemed to be enjoying his company.
"Good," Dawn replied, but her eyes were troubled. "Willow called while we were out."
He struggled to maintain a neutral expression. "Oh? Well, that's good, then."
"Willow said she'd visit Dawn for winter break," Buffy added, a spark in her eyes that hadn't been there until now. "I guess it's going to be a full house."
Spike swallowed, then managed a smile. "You'll have to tell me how it is."
Dawn shot him an exasperated look. "Spike!"
"No." It was the only thing he was going to say on the matter. Spike could see it now—Dawn in the middle, trying to keep everyone calm, while Willow and Xander filled the Slayer in on every mistake he'd made in the last two decades.
Spike had never pretended to be perfect, but he'd done his best to keep his promise to Buffy. That was something that no one had ever truly understood.
"Then where are you going to spend Christmas?" Dawn demanded, ignoring Buffy's puzzled frown.
"With Tara and Yvonne," Spike said evenly. "I've got a standing invitation."
More likely than not, Spike would be spending at least part of the time drunk, because he knew that once Buffy left to go stay with one of the others, she wouldn't be back. He had no idea how they would integrate the newly-returned Slayer into their lives, but they'd manage it. There was certainly nothing for Buffy in Sunnydale.
"Wait, Spike," Buffy said, beginning to catch on. "Were you planning on going to Dawn's for Christmas?"
"He was," Dawn answered for him. "We talked about it months ago."
"I can visit later," Spike said firmly. "You'll have plenty of people there; I won't be missed."
Dawn glared at him. "Is that right? And what am I going to tell Kyle? He's been talking about you coming for Christmas nonstop."
Spike winced. He hated breaking a promise, particularly to the little ones. It wasn't their fault that relations were strained. "I'll come just before," he finally said. "But I'm leaving early."
"Fine." Dawn sighed. "I think I'm going to get cleaned up and go to bed."
"Take my room," Spike said. "I put your things in there already."
Although she shot him a look, Dawn didn't argue, stopping to give Buffy a hug and a kiss goodnight before heading back towards Spike's room.
Spike sat down on the couch, unable to help the little thrill he felt when Buffy sat down next to him, close enough so that their shoulders were almost touching. "Did you talk to her at all?" Spike asked Buffy once he'd heard the water for the shower start.
"Willow?" Buffy clarified. "Yeah, we talked for a few minutes." She frowned. "She didn't know what to say to me."
Spike smiled, although he didn't think it was much of one. "Give it time, pet. It's still pretty new."
Buffy shook her head. "We grew apart our first year of college, you know." She shot him a wry look. "Well, I know that you know, since you used that to help Adam."
He frowned, trying to remember what Buffy was referring to, and then it hit him. Spike winced. "Yeah, that."
She shrugged. "If Glory hadn't been such a big threat, maybe we really would have drifted apart."
"You don't know that." Spike wanted to suggest that Buffy stay with him, or at least tell her that she'd always be welcome, but he wasn't sure she'd take it all that well.
"Do you really think it's going to be that bad?" Buffy asked him. Her expression gave nothing away; Spike had no idea what she was thinking.
He shrugged. "Dunno. I've been avoidin' them for so long now, it's habit."
She nodded, saying nothing more.
Submit a Review!