Rating: R
Summary: Spike leaves a devastated Buffy for the limelight, hurting her in the worst way possible. They meet again in 10 years and he's set on winning her back. Can she forgive and learn to love him again? Will she ever learn to trust the one man who stole her heart then shattered it? .... A story about love's endurance and the lengths people go for the people they love.
Author's Notes: not my first fic... but it's the first one i've posted online. i'm kind of nervous.
This story is not complete.
Chapter 1: I don't love you ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 2: Ready ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 3: First Day ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: After the first day of school... get ready for a whole load of happy Buffy and happy Spike (in the past)... and just when you least expect it... angsty angst angst. It's beautiful.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 4: Why can't I stop loving you? ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 5: Effulgent ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: There's a bit of a time lapse.. hope that doesn't throw anyone off. and sorry if the past/present annoys anybody, but i think it really boosts the effect of things. especially in the chapter that's about to come.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 6: I love you ~ Reviews (1)
Author's Notes: i felt like shooting spike when i wrote this. and i was the one who wrote this. it's saying something, right? don't kill me.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 7: Love and Betrayal ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 8: Dear Buffy ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: This ends part 1. It was really hard to write. Don't worry, this is rock bottom. Only gets better from here! There's going to be 2 more parts to this story. Part 2 is going to be set a few years later, during reconstruction. Happy stuff. Part 3 is a surprise. :)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 9: Young Hearts ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: I know everyone hates Spike right now... hell, i did when i wrote it. Just let yourselves know that you hate him for a reason and trust me when i say that he will be redeeming himself. It's not just a "oh, time will heal all things" kind of redeeming, either.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 10: Why We Hurt ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 11: She's been Burnt ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: A lot of the places i'm making up as i go. I've never been to Los Angeles, so i'm basically writing from my imagination of how i think it's like. So, forgive me if it's not accurate. I used to live near Manhatten, but i made up the clubs and their location.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 12: Questions ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: I love Willow. Spike does deserve a good yelling, doesn't he?
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 13: Gabriel ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: Okay, i've never actually been to Julliard. I'm am a pianist though and i based my description off of a music school that i had a summer camp at a few summers ago. So any Julliard students... i'm just making the halls up and the descriptions up for the sake of the story.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 14: Hello, Goodbye ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 15: Common Courtesy ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 16: The Right Thing ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: The dreams are all very symbolic... and they WILL be unravelled. Spike has a past... something secret that will be revealed in the next few chapters. I'm not letting him off easily by throwing in a couple of pity lines... i'm just trying to explain some psychological, historical background that lead his very bad decision-making skills. We'lll catch up with Buffy next chapter. A bit more light and happy.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 17: Are You Ready? ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: I'm not really happy with this chapter... something about it doesn't ring right, but i figured i'd post it up and see if something comes to me. It's building up to the next chapter which will be a turning point for Spike, especially.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 18: Facing my Monsters ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes:
Some of this was incredibly difficult to write... gah.
** there's a little bible reference in the last scene... it's from Corinthians. It's not really religious or anything... i just thought you guys should know.**
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 19: Bye-bye Baby ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 20: Seeing Red ~ Reviews (0)
Author's Notes: All i've got to say about this is that this was the hardest thing i've ever had to write. This is the first draft... I found out that i really couldn't go back and detail it, which is something it desperately needs. And i couldn't because It just... disturbed me. It's certainly not the worst thing i've ever read, by far, but the reason it affected me so much was because it all came from my head. When i go over it, i read something different from what you guys read and if i write it all down... it's all layed out for me ... and somehow, psychologically, it frightens me that i could ever see something like this.
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 21: Night Lights ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 22: Confrontation #1 ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 23: Confrontation #2 ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 24: Hope ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 25: Goodbye to you, Hello to Life ~ Reviews (1)
Author's Notes: There's a poll at the bottom of this chapter pertaining to what you guys want to see... I'm officially trapped between two scenarios, both already pre-written, and am seriously not sure which one I want to go with, so I'm leaving it up to you guys... but enjoy this chapter, then leave your choice in the form of a review or an email. Thanks! And enjoy!
Added: 11-11-06
Chapter 26: Spotlights ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-29-06
Chapter 27: It's You ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-29-06
Chapter 28: Hello, Love ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-29-06
Chapter 29: What are we doing here? ~ Reviews (0)
Added: 11-29-06
Chapter 30: Hinsight's 20/20 ~ Reviews (1)
Added: 11-29-06
