Brace Yourself by Enigmaticblue

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Chapter 20: Facing the Future

"Beautiful dawn—lights up the shore for me./There is nothing else in the world,/I'd rather wake up and see (with you)./Beautiful dawn—I'm just chasing time again./Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night./But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above./Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me...Will you be my shoulder when I'm gray and older?/Promise me tomorrow starts with you..." ~James Blunt, "High"

The funny part about being married was that it wasn't much different than living together. Xander wasn't sure what he'd been so scared of, other than the fact that marriage was a permanent commitment. Of course, Xander couldn't see himself with anyone but Anya, so his fears had been stupid to begin with.

"Do you want pancakes or French toast for breakfast?" he asked.

Anya smiled. "Are you really that hungry?"

He kissed her neck, not wanting to inflict his morning breath on her. "Starving. Besides, we'll need energy for later."

"French toast, then," Anya replied, nuzzling at his neck.

"Not regretting the elopement yet?" Xander asked, climbing out of bed.

Anya frowned. "No. Are you?"

"Of course not," he said quickly. He wiggled his left ring finger at her. "I'm a happily married man."

Anya smiled. "Is that right?"

"And right after I make breakfast for you, I'm going to show you just how happy I am," Xander promised, pulling out the eggs and bread for the French toast.

As seemed to always happen, the phone rang. Xander eyed it for a moment, contemplating not answering it, since he would lay good odds that it was an emergency. "I'll get it," Anya said with a sigh. "Hello?" Xander paused in his preparations, waiting to see if they would need to interrupt their meal. "Yes, Giles. We were just getting ready to eat breakfast."

Xander raised his eyebrows, wondering why Giles would be calling. Unless it was an emergency, in which case, they could kiss their quiet breakfast goodbye. He couldn't tell much from Anya's side of the conversation, since she was mostly quiet, listening to whatever Giles had to say.

When she hung up the phone, Anya turned to him. "Giles wanted to let me know that he's taking Monday off. One of his friends is coming in from England."

Xander wasn't sure that he liked the sound of that; far too many of Giles' old friends were connected to the Council, and they'd had their fill of antics from that bunch. "Has he called Buffy yet?"

"That was his next stop." Anya made a face. "Spike's not going to be thrilled."

Xander suddenly remembered that the chip was gone; he kept forgetting, although he knew that he probably shouldn't. Still, Spike had been the picture of a concerned father-to-be at the hospital, and deep down Xander knew that the vampire wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his relationship with Buffy—or their child.

If Xander was honest with himself, he wouldn't have minded terribly if Spike went after Travers or the other Watchers who had grabbed Buffy. If anyone had deserved to be eaten, it was them.

"Let's just hope that he doesn't kill anybody," Xander said. "I don't think Buffy would appreciate that, even if Giles' friend is with the Council."

Anya shrugged. "I don't think we need to worry about it. Men like Spike tend to act when threatened. As long as Giles' friend doesn't make any sudden moves, he'll probably survive."

Xander decided that he'd rather think about breakfast—and dessert. "So, French toast," he said, changing the subject. "Do you want cinnamon this time?"

~~~~~

"You have got to be kidding me," Buffy said flatly. "I don't want anything to do with the Council, Giles."

Giles sighed. He'd known that this was going to be difficult, and he couldn't blame Buffy one bit for her reluctance to see Nigel. "He's coming as a friend of mine, Buffy, not as part of the Council. If you don't want to see him, I'll understand, but I believe that he wants to offer an apology."

"He can offer an apology when I know that my baby is safe," Buffy shot back. "Until then, I don't want to hear anything he has to say."

Giles turned to Spike, not daring to hope that the vampire would be any more rational. "And you?"

Spike's eyes narrowed. "It's one thing to say the words; I want to know what the bastards are goin' to do to make it up to us."

Buffy frowned. "Spike—"

"Rupert's right," Spike said. "They owe us a bloody apology, but I don't want to hear it if they're not ready to back it up with somethin' tangible."

"I think that might be arranged," Giles allowed. "From what I understand, that was Nigel's intention."

Spike shrugged. "Might be worth it, then. If only because I can show him just how well the chip doesn't work anymore."

Buffy smiled, although her expression held little mirth. Giles could see the lines on her face that hadn't been there before, and he knew that Travers' actions were responsible for much of her strain. Waiting and worrying about the baby was taking its toll, even though the doctor had assured her that everything looked normal.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Giles assured Spike. "Nigel has Buffy's best interests in mind."

"Yeah, right," Buffy muttered.

"I trust Nigel," Giles said patiently, although he couldn't be too upset with Buffy.

Buffy shrugged. "You can trust him if you want, but I'm not letting anybody from the Council within ten feet of my baby. Other than you," she added.

Giles smiled, grateful for that addendum. "Spike?"

"I'll meet with the wanker," Spike agreed. "No promises, though."

"He's not asking for anything," Giles assured him. "He simply wants to extend his apologies."

Spike raised a scarred eyebrow. "We'll see."

"Have you heard anything about Bracken?" Giles asked.

Buffy shook her head, grateful for the change in subject. "Dawn isn't supposed to open the portal until tomorrow."

Giles frowned. "Do you think he'll return?"

"If he can," Spike replied. "If he doesn't, I have a feelin' Dawn will be sending me in after him."

Buffy sighed. "She'd try, anyway. I don't think we could risk someone else going in, though."

"Be easy to get lost in a place like that," Spike agreed. "If Bracken doesn't show up tomorrow, we'll have to decide what to do."

Buffy grimaced, but nodded her agreement. "We owe him. I hope it doesn't come to that, but we'll do all we can for him."

Giles nodded, knowing that was the best any of them could do. He simply hoped that Bracken showed up again, safe and sound, as he'd grown rather fond of the boy in a short period of time.

~~~~~

Tara was a little nervous about meeting Willow. She had no idea how long it would be before they could be comfortable in one another's company; maybe they never would be, given how things had ended.

She stepped into the coffee shop, looking around for the other woman. Tara soon spotted Willow's distinctive hair color at a table in the corner and waved to let Willow know she was there. She ordered herbal tea and a muffin, then went to join her.

"Hey," Willow said, greeting her with a smile. "How's it going?"

"About like you'd expect," Tara replied. "The end of the semester is always busy."

Willow nodded. "Yeah. Starting classes again will probably be a little bit of a shock."

"Are you still planning on changing your major?" Tara asked, wanting to keep the conversation light.

Willow nodded. "Actually, I've already changed it. I'll have some catching up to do,  and I won't graduate in four years, but this is what I want." She hesitated. "I'm also planning on going back to England next summer to stay with the coven again. I came back early because of Buffy and the baby, but I'm not done learning yet."

Tara forced a smile, still worried that Willow was going to ask her to come back, to change her mind. She wished that their relationship hadn't been destroyed in the aftermath of Willow's curse; it seemed to be the only thing that had been irretrievably broken. "That's good."

"Tara, I know we aren't going to get back together," Willow said slowly, seeming to read her mind. "But I'd like to try to be friends at least. It would be easier."

Tara swallowed. "We're friends, Willow."

Willow nodded. "I have a lot of regrets," she began. "A lot of them are about Spike, and Buffy, and the way I treated them. Some of them are about Dawn, because she wouldn't have been in danger if I hadn't taken her to Rack's. But I think my biggest regret is losing you."

Tara stared down into her tea. "I know."

"I know how you feel about me," Willow said. "After that spell you did..." She sighed. "Thanks for having coffee with me anyway. I wanted to at least have the chance to apologize again."

"You don't have to apologize," Tara assured her. "I know—"

Willow shook her head, her hair swinging in front of her face. Tara noticed that it was longer now than it had been since she'd met her, and the new style made her look older. "It's okay, Tara."

Tara was silent, realizing that Willow needed to apologize more for her own peace of mind than anything else. She also wondered if anyone had said the words she suspected that Willow needed to hear. "I've already forgiven you," she said, offering healing. She wanted to heal the rift between them, even if they would never be more than friends; more than anything else in the beginning, Tara had wanted to be Willow's friend.

Willow raised startled eyes to Tara, and she knew she'd said the right thing. "I forgave you a long time ago," she added.

She could see the tears that Willow tried to blink away. "Thank you."

It was a good beginning, anyway, and Tara found herself a lot more comfortable than she'd been for months.

~~~~~

Dawn sat on the porch steps, waiting. She felt as though she'd spent the last three days waiting, without knowing if her patience was going to pay off. Maybe she hadn't known Bracken for very long, but she liked him. A lot.

It would be just her luck if he disappeared into another dimension and never came back.

Dawn knew that if he didn't come back on his own there was little chance that she'd see him again. Although she might want to send Buffy and Spike into Pylea to save him, it wouldn't be a good idea. It was simply too risky, particularly given the fact that it wasn't a terribly friendly dimension.

"Ready to go?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah," Dawn said, not moving right away.

Buffy sat down next to her, moving a little more slowly than usual. The pregnancy was becoming noticeable, and even the Slayer had to slow down a bit. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." Dawn looked off into the darkness of the backyard. "I really like him."

"I know," Buffy said. "I'm sure he'll be waiting for you, Dawn."

"And if he's not?"

"I don't know," her sister admitted. "We'll have to talk about our options, I guess, but let's not borrow trouble, huh?"

Dawn sighed. "I asked him to go to the winter formal with me next weekend."

"What did he say?" Buffy asked.

"Yes." She remembered what he'd said, the way he'd touched her lips, her cheek. Their one, brief kiss. Maybe he had every reason to return to her world while he'd been  here, but Bracken might decide that his family needed him more than she did.

Buffy put her arm around Dawn's shoulders for a quick hug. "Come on. If you're late opening that portal, you'll make Bracken worry."

Dawn nodded and stood, reaching down to help Buffy up off the steps. "Yeah, let's go."

It was a quiet ride to the Magic Box. They had decided to open the portal in the training room, since it seemed to be the best place for it. It was easier to control who saw it, and who had access. Plus, if something dangerous emerged, there was a lot less chance of it getting out.

Everyone showed up, which Dawn found a little odd. It was just after closing, so it wasn't terribly unusual for Giles and Anya to be there, or for Xander to show up. Dawn thought that Xander and Anya were disgustingly cute together; being married seemed to agree with them.

Willow and Tara were also there, however, as were Spike and Buffy, and that was odd. Dawn felt more than a little self-conscious as she prepared to open the portal. She knew that they were there for Bracken, as well as for her. They all wanted her to be happy, and they were showing their support the best way they knew how.

Maybe it was a weird family, but Dawn wouldn't have given any of them up for the world.

She centered herself, concentrating on Pylea, on the grove where she and Bracken had spent the night. Dawn thought about the shape of the trees, of the leaf-strewn ground, of the smell of the air—and then she pricked her thumb with a pin and felt the energy swirl around her.

With bated breath, she watched the portal for any sign of Bracken. Dawn frowned, wondering if he could see it from the other side. Or maybe he was just late; she wasn't sure how long she could keep it open, waiting for him.

Moments ticked by, and Dawn blinked back the rising tears.

Suddenly, Bracken jumped through, landing in a heap. "Close it quickly," he said.

Dawn didn't have to be told twice. She squeezed out another drop of blood and watched as the portal closed at her bidding. "Are you okay?" she asked, getting to her feet immediately.

Bracken recovered fairly quickly, looking around at everyone who was present. "Yes, of course. I didn't want anyone following me."

Dawn saw the shadow of a bruise across one cheek, and she frowned. "You're hurt."

He shrugged. "Andrus and I fought." Bracken smiled. "You should see him. I blackened both of his eyes."

She found herself with tears in her eyes again, although this time for sheer happiness. "You're staying?"

"I'm staying." He moved closer to her, ignoring the others in the room. Dawn glanced over her shoulder and realized that everyone was drifting out of the training room, giving them their privacy. "My parents were glad that I had found a place where I could make a living for myself."

"Even if you aren't going to be seeing them anytime soon?" Dawn asked.

He shrugged. "They have twelve other children, and I am not so important."

"Yes, you are," Dawn argued.

"I am here," he agreed. Bracken bent his head. "I missed you."

Dawn smiled. "Same goes for me."

She couldn't help but think that their kiss was the stuff that fairy tales were made of, but since she was still a mystical Key, Dawn supposed that it only made sense.

~~~~~

Buffy had elected to go with Spike to meet Nigel, but only because she didn't trust anyone from the Council around a vampire, and she knew that Spike would rip Nigel's throat out before he allowed another Watcher to touch her.

They met the Council head at Giles' new apartment, which wasn't very far from his old one and was within walking distance of the Magic Box. He wasn't anything like she'd expected; Nigel was a small, trim man in his early sixties, with thick white hair and a neatly-trimmed goatee.

He had kind eyes of an indeterminate color, and he didn't try to shake her hand. Almost in spite of herself, Buffy found herself trusting him.

At least a little tiny bit.

"Thank you both for agreeing to meet me," Nigel began, accepting a cup of tea from Giles. "I realize that it probably was not an easy decision for you."

Buffy nodded, unbending slightly. She noticed that Spike didn't seem to be won over in the least. "Giles said he trusted you."

"Rupert explained what happened," Nigel replied, glancing at the other Watcher. "I feel that it was most fortunate for everyone concerned that Travers will not be available to cause more trouble. The young knife thrower has my gratitude."

Spike frowned. "Travers was one of yours, yeah? Seems bloody cold to be thankin' somebody for killin' him."

"Hmm, yes." Nigel looked over at Giles, as if for help.

Giles grimaced. "Travers still had adherents, but there is little he can do to stir up trouble from the grave."

"Precisely," Nigel agreed. "Cut the head off the snake, and you end the problem. And Travers was certainly a problem. You have my guarantee that the Council will not trouble you again."

"In exchange for what?" Buffy asked suspiciously. "You guys don't give something for nothing."

Nigel raised an eyebrow and gave her a wry smile. "It is, of course, our hope that you will continue to guard the Hellmouth, and if you'd allow your Watcher to send us reports every so often that would be much appreciated."

"We live here," Buffy pointed out. "It's not like we're going to let the world go to hell. What about my child?"

"It's your child," Nigel stated. "I would like to offer to pay all hospital expenses, however. It's the least I can do."

Spike shook his head. "An' how do we know you won't use that as an opportunity to collect all the information you can on our kid?"

"You don't, I suppose," Nigel replied. "If it would make you feel better, however, you can have Rupert send me the bill after the birth. The Council needn't be involved at all."

"What else?" Spike asked. "That can't be the entire reason you flew across the pond—to apologize an' offer to pay expenses. 's never that simple."

"In this case it is," Nigel replied. "Also, since I am now the head of the Council, I wanted to meet our active Slayer and the infamous William the Bloody."

"It's Spike," the vampire said, his eyes narrowing. "That's really it?"

"That's it." Nigel sighed. "I don't expect you to trust me, or the Council. I daresay I'm going to be spending the next year cleaning up Travers' messes, but you may certainly contact me for assistance. Rupert knows how to get in touch with me." He stood gracefully. "Rupert, I think I'll be going back to the hotel."

"I'll meet you tomorrow," Giles promised. "If you two wouldn't mind staying, I'll take Nigel back to his hotel."

Buffy looked over at Spike who shrugged. "Sure," she replied. "We'll wait for you."

Once Giles and Nigel had left, Buffy turned to look at Spike. "What do you think?"

Spike shrugged. "Dunno. He seems alright, but I don't trust him."

"That's pretty much how I feel, too," Buffy said, leaning against her fiancé. "We still have to talk about names, you know."

Spike grimaced. "You know how I feel about that. Anythin' but 'William.' 'm not having a bloody junior."

"I like William," Buffy objected. "And he wouldn't have to be 'junior,' you know." Spike's obstinate expression told her just how far she was going to get with that argument. "Okay, what about for a middle name?"

"That would be alright," Spike allowed. "Could give him a different family name. Rupert, for instance."

Buffy made a face. "No offense to Giles, but no. I'm not naming my son Rupert. What else?"

There was a long pause, and then he admitted, "My father's name was John."

"That's a nice, normal name," Buffy agreed. "Kind of boring, though."

"Jack?" Spike suggested. "It's a derivative of John, although it was considered a bit low-brow in my day."

Buffy liked the sound of that. "That could work."

Spike touched her cheek, his eyes showing his concern. "You feelin' better about this whole thing now?"

Buffy nodded. "I think so. The doctor did say that everything looked normal."

"She did." Spike kissed her, and Buffy couldn't help but remember the last time they had kissed in Giles' flat, although they had been under the influence of a spell at the time. She threaded her fingers through his hair, giving into the sensation of lips on lips. These sorts of moments would soon become all too difficult to steal, but she didn't mind.

As scared and uncertain as Buffy had been when she'd first discovered her pregnancy, she was looking forward to the birth of their child, to the future they'd created for themselves. Whatever was to come, Buffy knew that they would face it together.

"Maybe we should head back to the house," Spike suggested.

Buffy thought about that for a moment, then nodded. "Giles probably won't mind."

"Probably prefer that to finding us on his couch." Spike's eyes were dark with barely-restrained desire, and Buffy felt an answering heat rise in her gut.

It was probably better to take advantage of every opportunity they could. "Let's go," she replied.

Buffy was grateful that she'd taken her chances on Spike. He'd certainly been worth the risk.

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