Brace Yourself by Enigmaticblue

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Chapter 15: Limitations

"I will be the answer/At the end of the line/I will be there for you/While you take the time/In the burning of uncertainty/I will be your solid ground/I will hold the balance/If you can't look down/If it takes my whole life/I won't break, I won't bend/It will all be worth it/Worth it in the end..." ~Sarah McLachlan, "Answer"

Willow frowned, considering Buffy's request. The Slayer had invited her over to discuss protection spells. Willow wanted nothing more than to be able to tell her friend that she could wave a magic wand and prevent anyone from hurting either her child or entering the house. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite so easy.

"I don't think I can do much with the house, Buffy," Willow said slowly.

"You did a protection spell against Glory, right?" Spike pressed, leaning forward. "Shouldn't you be able to do the same thing for the Council?"

Buffy put a hand on his arm, an unspoken warning to keep his cool. "Spike."

"Glory was a little different," Willow pointed out. "Technically, Glory was inherently magical; she was a Hellgod tied to a human body. You can do protection spells that will sound an alarm when something like that enters your house. You can't really do the same thing for humans."

Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're saying that such a spell wouldn't distinguish between different humans."

Willow shrugged. "Pretty much. I might be able to work something out with a little time, but it would have to be a spell that wouldn't go off every time that Giles, for example, walked in the door."

"What about the baby?" Buffy asked. "Is there anything you can do there?"

"That's different," Willow acknowledged. "I think I can come up with a spell that would prevent any outside source of harm." She hesitated. "There are limitations, of course. If you were to be exposed to some sort of chemical, or drug, that could still harm the baby. But I might be able to make it so that no one could, you know, hurt it."

Spike frowned. "What do you mean?"

"She could still miscarry," Willow said gently. "If Buffy were to get hit in the stomach, or something like that, it could be very bad for the baby. Since she's the Slayer, there's probably less chance of that, but it's still a possibility."

Buffy looked a little pale. "So, slaying might not be a good idea, huh?"

"Been tryin' to tell you that," Spike muttered. "You just didn't want to hear it."

Willow shrugged. "I don't know, Buffy. Accidents happen, though, and it's always a risk when you go out. You know that."

"Can you work out a protection spell?" Giles asked.

Willow nodded. "I'll give it my best shot, but I don't want to do anything that's going to interfere with the baby's growth. That's always the problem with spells like that; there are often unintended consequences."

She glanced over at Spike to see his blue eyes warm. "Think you've got the right of it, Red."

"We trust you, Will," Buffy finally said. "I know you'll do what you can."

Willow nodded, knowing that she was going to be in for a long night, researching spells. Just the fact that Buffy had said she trusted her was enough. She no longer needed acclaim or to be viewed as being the best. If Willow had her friends' trust, she could be content.

~~~~~

"Red, wait!" Spike called as Willow went down the front walk.

She half-turned, frowning. "Is there something wrong?"

"Thought I'd offer you a ride," Spike said.

Willow shrugged. "It's a nice night, and I don't mind walking."

"Humor me," he suggested.

"Okay," she agreed with a smile.

Spike climbed into the DeSoto, waiting for Willow to swing herself into the passenger side. "Wanted to ask you for a favor."

Willow eyed him warily. "I owe you," she acknowledged. "If there's something I can do for you,  I will."

He'd been thinking about this for the last couple of days, ever since Dawn had turned up safe. Buffy hadn't discouraged him from removing the chip, although she had asked him to wait; Spike thought that was mostly due to her fear that the chip's removal would cause him physical harm. If Willow could remove it, though, that might mean less risk than if he went to a doctor.

"I want you to find a way to remove the chip," Spike said. "Or disable it. Don't really care which. An' before you ask, it's not about wanting to hunt humans again; I just want to be able to protect what's mine."

Willow's eyes widened. "Spike, I don't think I can do that. I can't go behind Buffy's back and—"

He cut her off impatiently. "I wouldn't do that. Already talked to her, an' she said after Dawn got back we could look into it, but the guy that snatched the Bit was human. The Council bastards are human. What the bloody hell am I s'posed to do if they make a play for Buffy? They could stake me an' snatch her, an' I wouldn't be able to do sod all."

He could see his words strike home as Willow nodded slowly. "You're right. I still want to talk to Buffy about this, though. Not that I think you're lying," she hastened to assure him. "I just want to be sure she's okay with me splitting my time like that. I'm supposed to be working on a protection spell, too."

"The kid comes first," Spike said softly in agreement. "That goes without sayin'. An' you can talk to the Slayer all you like, but I want you to look into it. Could be that this is my best option for makin' sure there's nothing that's goin' to prevent me from protecting my own."

Willow took a deep breath. "You got it."

"Thanks, Red."

"I owe you," Willow replied quietly. "I meant that. And I'll do whatever I can to make sure Buffy stays safe, even if it means removing your chip."

Spike nodded. "Appreciate that."

"But I'm going to talk to Buffy first," Willow continued. "I lost her trust once; there's no way I'll risk doing that again."

"Fair enough," Spike allowed. "You'll let me know what you decide?"

"I will."

Spike pulled up in front of Xander's apartment building. "What are you gonna do when Xander an' the missus get back?" he asked.

Willow sighed. "Look for a new place, I guess. The job should help with that."

Spike nodded. "You know, if Bracken sticks around, he's probably goin' to need a babysitter for a while."

Willow's eyes widened. "What?"

"Just think about it," Spike said. "Might be a way to solve all our problems at once."

"I'll think about it," Willow promised. "Good night, Spike."

Spike nodded, watching to be sure she made it into the building safely. He'd suspected that she would insist on going to Buffy before taking any steps to remove the chip, and he didn't blame her. In fact, Willow's reluctance to strike out on her own made him feel a lot better about how far she'd come in the short time she'd been with the coven. It was apparent that she no longer felt that she was capable of making the big decisions that would affect everyone without input from anybody else, and that could only be an improvement in Spike's estimation.

He just hoped that she came around to his way of thinking. Spike would much prefer it if Willow could remove the chip without opening up his skull. The last thing he wanted was to be incapacitated when Buffy needed him most.

And while Spike was hopeful that they would be able to repel any attack the Council made on the Slayer, he wanted to be prepared for the worst.

It was the Hellmouth, after all.

~~~~~

"So, how is living with Spike?" Dawn asked Bracken idly. Buffy had been giving her meaningful looks, probably because it was way past her bedtime, but she wasn't ready to go to sleep. Not when Bracken had to wait for Spike to return from dropping Willow off. She'd suggested they sit out on the back porch, where they could be alone, thinking that being outside might help Bracken feel at home again.

Dawn thought that Spike would probably choose to spend the night, which would probably mean that Bracken would be on the couch, since Giles was still using the bed in the spare room.

"It's nice," Bracken replied, sounding sincere. "He's been very kind."

"Really?" Dawn wasn't too surprised, given that Bracken had saved her life, but Spike could be rough and insensitive at times. On the other hand, if Bracken was comparing the vampire to Andrus, Spike came off looking like a saint.

"Yes." Bracken glanced over at her. "You seem surprised."

"Not really," Dawn admitted. "It's just that sometimes he isn't very nice, and sometimes he is. It kind of depends on if he likes you or not."

"Your friends have all been kind," Bracken assured her.

"You're a likeable guy," Dawn responded, flushing a little as the words left her mouth. How much more obvious could she be?

She had to wonder how things were going to work out with Bracken staying—if he decided to stay. Would Giles be able to get him proper paperwork? Or would Spike do it? Xander had said he might be able to hire him, but that assumed that working construction was something that Bracken enjoyed doing. If he didn't, would he choose to go back to Pylea?

Dawn understood about the pull of home; even though the Hellmouth sucked sometimes, Sunnydale was definitely home.

"These men that are after your sister," Bracken began. "Are they the same men who were after you?"

"No, we've got our own enemies this time," Dawn replied, feeling a sort of satisfaction at that, even though she knew it was insane. At the same time, however, it felt like the first time that she wasn't just viewed as "the Slayer's little sister." Dawn was important because of who and what she was, and it had nothing to do with Buffy.

Okay, so she wouldn't even be Buffy's sister if Buffy hadn't been the Slayer, but that was besides the point.

"You have more enemies than anyone I have ever met," Bracken observed.

Dawn frowned. "Really?"

"I only had Andrus," Bracken said. "And in my world, there are only two sides. This is much more complex."

Bracken hadn't spoken much about his family, and Dawn found that she was curious. She wondered if Andrus was representative of the rest of them, or merely an aberration. "Do you get along with your parents?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I suppose. They have many others to feed, however, and I am not so important. Andrus was always the one who brought extra food or money or clothing."

"But you hunted, right?" Dawn pressed, remembering what he'd told her about the clearing he'd led her to. "I mean, it's not like you didn't do anything."

"It was never enough." Bracken sighed. "There were always too many mouths to feed, Dawn. I did what I could, but..."

"It wasn't enough," she finished for him.

"Dawn?"

Buffy's voice broke into their conversation, and Dawn sighed. "Yeah?"

"Spike's ready to head out."

It was an unsubtle reminder that it was time for Bracken to leave.

"I should go as well," Bracken said, taking the hint.

Dawn smiled at him. "I'll see you tomorrow. I've got to finish planning Buffy's baby shower, and you can help with that."

He frowned. "A 'baby shower'?"

Dawn smiled. "You know, to help her get ready for the baby. It's a party." Bracken still looked confused, and she took pity on him, squeezing his arm. "It's probably one of those things you have to experience to fully understand."

"I'll look forward to it, then," he said, looking down at her.

For a moment, Dawn really thought that he might kiss her, but Buffy called again, "Dawn!"

"We're coming!" She looked up at him, but the moment had passed, and Bracken wore his carefully neutral expression once again. Dawn now recognized that look—the one he wore so that no one would know what he was thinking or feeling.

He hadn't been that guarded around her in his own dimension, but she wondered if that wasn't because he was on his own turf; now that he was a stranger in a strange land, things were different.

"Good night, Dawn," he said softly, then headed inside.

Dawn sighed and followed him in. It only figured that the guy she was really attracted to would be from another dimension, and would possibly not want to stay in Sunnydale.

She just hoped that she didn't have to got through a few guys before getting one like Spike, who would stick around.

~~~~~

Buffy sighed as she rolled over, the bed feeling much too large without Spike taking up the other half. She knew he'd be moving in soon, but it wasn't soon enough in her estimation, not when there were still nights where she was forced to sleep alone.

She tossed and turned for a couple of hours before finally drifting off into a restless doze.

Buffy found herself walking along a corridor lined with identical doors. She felt her heart begin to race, and she moved faster, running down the hallway. She was dressed in her pajamas, the tiled floor cold beneath her bare feet. She was trying to find something, but she couldn't remember what.

No, not what—who.

Buffy stopped, putting a hand on her abdomen, which was now flat, the small bump that had been growing almost daily completely gone. "No," she whispered.

She whirled, looking at the featureless doors, going to the nearest one. The handle turned easily, and she looked inside, seeing a crib. Dashing over, Buffy looked down to find it empty. She ran out of the room, heading to the door across the hall and repeating her actions. Once again, all she could find was an empty crib.

"It's no use." The voice came out of nowhere, and Buffy looked around wildly to see the figure of a man, his face in shadow. "You won't find him here."

"Him?" Buffy echoed.

"Congratulations, it's a boy," the voice replied, sneering.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

The man stepped into the light and she recognized Quentin Travers. "Where he can do no harm. I will not suffer a monster like that to live."

She woke with a gasp, sitting straight up in bed. The dream was so disorienting that Buffy didn't immediately realize that there was someone else in the room with her.

And by the time she did, it was too late.

~~~~~

Tara frowned as she looked through the peephole, surprised to get a visitor this early in the morning. She'd had a late afternoon class, and then a study session right afterwards, but she'd known that if there was an emergency, someone would have called her.

She opened the door to Willow. "What's up?"

"I wanted to know if you'd help me," Willow said quietly. "Buffy and Spike asked me to find a protection spell for the house and the baby, but I don't know how to make either work."

Tara nodded slowly. "Sure, come in."

Willow stepped inside, looking around slowly. "This is nice."

"It is," Tara replied, realizing that Willow had never been inside her apartment before.

"Mrrorw," Merlin said imperiously from her feet, obviously impatient for his breakfast.

Tara smiled. "Let me feed him, and then we can get started." She wasn't sure how she felt about Willow being in her apartment; Tara was uncomfortable with the idea, although not because she thought that Willow would try something untoward.

It was simply very awkward.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" Willow suggested. "Like the Magic Box? Most of the books are there anyway."

Tara wondered if Willow had sensed her unease, or if she felt the same way. "That might be a good idea. I don't know what books I have here that would be of help."

Willow nodded. "Okay."

"Didn't you have school today?" Tara asked.

"It's a plan day for the teachers," Willow explained. "I got my planning done last night."

Tara frowned. "How late were you up?"

"I didn't go to bed," Willow admitted ruefully. "Spike asked me for a favor, too, and I wanted to look into that a little bit before I went to sleep. It turned out that it's a pretty interesting spell."

"What spell?" Tara asked, wondering what Spike would want with magic. He wasn't the biggest fan of the black arts, that was for sure.

Willow hesitated, obviously uncertain of whether she had overstepped her bounds by mentioning it. "To get the chip out. He's worried about the Council, and not being able to protect Buffy and the baby. He said he'd already talked to her about it, and I'll talk to Buffy before I do anything, but—"

Tara shook her head. "I think it should be Spike's decision."

Willow's eyes widened. "You do?"

"He's the one who's going to have to live with the temptation," Tara pointed out reasonably. "Besides, we've talked about it a couple of times—what would happen if the chip ever stopped working. I don't think he'd hurt anyone, not unless it was in defense of Buffy or Dawn or himself."

"Or you," Willow observed. "He's close to you."

"He's been really nice to me," Tara said, feeling a little defensive.

Willow shrugged. "I'm glad he's been there for you, Tara. I know that I really screwed up."

If anything, Willow's apology only made Tara more uncomfortable. She didn't hate the other woman, or even harbor ill will. Their relationship had not worked out, and Tara wondered if that hadn't been as much her fault as Willow's. After all, Tara had stayed quiet for a long time about Willow's more troubling tendencies where it concerned magic. Maybe if she'd spoken up sooner, or been stronger in her opposition, things would have worked out.

Maybe if she'd refused to go along with Willow's plan to resurrect Buffy, their relationship might have survived.

Tara couldn't regret the fact that Buffy was alive, however.

"It's done now," Tara replied, her voice low. "We just have to move on."

"I know." Willow met her eyes, the sorrow in her gaze nearly tangible. "I know, Tara."

Tara realized that she did know, and somehow that made things easier.

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