The Song Remains the Same by SMac

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Chapter 41: Family

Author's Note: Thank you to those who sent me haiku. You are much appreciated, all of you.

Second note - some folks have been uncomfortable with the portrayal of social services and foster care in this story, and I need to address that. Frankly, I think I've been rather generous in my portrayal. The system in most states which handles dependent children is severely broken, and the likelihood of having a pleasant and smooth experience start to finish is not good.

Aside from the inept and the evil, there is also the plain fact that where children are concerned we are dealing with 'family attitudes' to a larger degree than I believe ever gets properly recognized. What I mean is that each family has it's own characteristics and traditions that it takes for granted is the 'normal' and 'right' way things should go, and it's difficult for an outsider with different ideas about 'normal' and 'right' to blend into that comfortably. It's the same principle that makes the first year of marriage so much torture sometimes, that blending of expectations about things most people don't even realize they have they are so taken for granted. You know what I mean: use a knife instead of a spoon to get jelly out of the jar and suddenly the world spins off its axis in some households. These kinds of problems people never realize they care about until they run smack into them. So, it's an uncomfortable situation to be in, living in someone's house, figuring out their rules, having them denigrate your upbringing because your family is different than theirs, etc. And that becomes even worse where holidays are concerned. Once again, think back to your early married years. You'll come up with examples I'm sure.

So, yeah. The system usually sucks more than it doesn't for most kids. And so far in my story no one has been raped or burned or simply 'lost' so they're already doing pretty well. And I speak from experience on that front, having seen first hand the horrific and also sometimes the heroic in this system. We need more heroic. We really do.

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Family



Wednesday


Buffy was positively giddy when she woke up Wednesday morning. Her first date ever had gone beautifully, and she liked Spike even more now that she'd spent an evening with him. As she went through her morning routine, she couldn't have kept the silly grin off her face if she tried.

He wasn't just 'great coat guy' or the gorgeous guy with the icy blue eyes and sexy smile she'd danced with at the Bronze. He was a down to earth guy with a lot of depth to him, and a wicked sense of humor. And he'd treated her well, and listened when she talked, and comforted her when she was upset, and stopped when she said stop ...

Stop. There's a situation waiting to blow up in her face. She couldn't believe she'd let him think she was a virgin. Even though she was. Technically. In all the ways that really counted. Except for the little problem of having a baby.

She had to admit to him the truth, and somehow keep him from running away when he found out. He'd said he'd had a pregnancy scare just a couple of months ago and was relieved when he found out he wasn't actually going to be a father at seventeen. If he dated her, if they really had a chance at a long-term relationship that led somewhere further than the next prom, he was going to be a father at seventeen even if he wasn't the actual sperm donor. Keep him from running away? She'd probably need shackles to perform that magic trick.

The entire situation sucked to a degree of eighty, and she decided to let it sit for a bit while she concentrated on getting through Christmas week. Trouble never went away on its own; it'd be there waiting for her when she picked the thread back up again. Meanwhile, there were Christmas presents to deal with.

She had bought presents for various people that week, but had no wrapping paper of her own. It seemed a waste of her extremely limited resources to buy some special, and she didn't want to ask Rosemary and John for any. Somehow, she felt that it was okay to accept food and shelter and even money for presents from these people, but to ask for something as simple as wrapping paper was an admission of destitution so pitiful that it hurt her very soul. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. Not for paper.

So she finally decided to use the Sunday funnies to wrap her gifts in. The Sunday funnies were printed in color, and since it was late December most of the comics had had Christmas themes these last two Sundays, so it was seasonally appropriate. Best of all, she was able to get it out of the newspaper recycling in the garage, and the paper was therefore completely free. She handmade some white name tags from some sheets of computer printer paper she sneaked out of John's 'office' when he wasn't home, and cut them into intricate snowflake patterns to make them more special. She hadn't any ribbon; therefore she decided that she didn't need any ribbon. The snowflake name tags turned out kind of 3-D in an interesting way, and they'd sit on top of each present in place of any bows or ribbons. In the end she thought her presents were very ... presentable.

At any rate, they were pretty in a homemade kind of way, and anyone who didn't like it would just have to get over it. The important part was the present and the thought behind it. If they couldn't appreciate that, then in Buffy's view they didn't deserve the present in the first place. She was happy with the results regardless.


~~~~~~~


It was about nine-thirty in the morning, and Buffy had heard John and Rosemary leave together in the big Explorer a couple of hours earlier. She had no idea where they went, but she was glad for the solitude. She carried her presents down the stairs and walked up to the tree in the living room. It was a perfect Christmas tree, exactly the kind of tree her mother always bought and decorated. Not a branch, not an ornament, not a light out of place anywhere. It was absolutely beautiful, but also a little cold. A little too perfect.

As Buffy placed her little presents among the other larger and more professionally wrapped ones under the tree, she thought back to last year's Christmas. How Faith had finally broken down and let them buy a tree, and how she and Fred had decorated it with homemade ornaments and the one string of little twinkly lights. The meager but well-loved presents beneath it. The special 'Baby's First' ornament that Faith had placed on the tree with obvious love and care. The Christmas cookies that looked more like fish than angels and santas, decorated in odd color combinations found neither in creation nor in any traditional Christmas.

That had been Buffy's best Christmas ever, that poor pathetic little Christmas, lived in poverty but surrounded by the people she loved and who loved her. It was her last Christmas with Faith and her first with Katie and Fred. And she would not be seeing any of the girls this Christmas day. It was quite possible that she'd never see either Faith or Fred again in this lifetime. She had to believe she would have Katie back by next Christmas though, as hard as it was to be apart this time. At least she had Katie. She was thankful that Katie was too young to understand or remember this holiday. Buffy would keep that pain within her own heart; it was a mercy that it would not need to be kept in her baby's as well.

Lost in her memories, Buffy placed the presents under the tree with care, nestling them in between and around the larger prettier ones already there.

"Well, isn't that just ... too ... precious." A voice behind her pronounced with gleeful sarcasm.

Buffy started and spun around to see who had come up behind her unawares. Before her stood a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties. She kept her arms folded across her well-endowed chest, and wore a smirk upon her carefully made up face. Her hair was light blonde, curling softly to her shoulders, and she was squeezed into a tight fitting red dress with a scoop neck so low that Buffy feared she'd come spilling out of it if she moved too quickly in either direction. Something about the woman struck Buffy as familiar, and it took only a moment to realize that this person had to be a relative of Rosemary's. The 'guest' who was staying for Christmas, perhaps?

"Hi," Buffy stood and smiled tentatively at the woman. "I'm Buffy. I'm staying here with Rosemary and John for a while." How does one introduce oneself to the relative of one's foster parents, especially when said relative was still smirking unpleasantly and had yet to introduce herself as well? This particular scenario had not been covered in the formal 'Etiquette for Young Ladies' class her mother had dragged her to when she was twelve.

"Buffy? Huh," Chesty Blonde looked her up and down. "Well, Rosemary said she had taken in another homeless puppy, but you seem a little old ... and well-developed ... to be one of her kids ..."

Apparently Chesty Blonde had not been forced into that same etiquette class in her youth. Because Buffy thought that she was shaping up to be quite a bitc --

"Oh! Hey!" Rosemary chirped as she flounced into the living room and came upon the scene before the Christmas tree. "Buffy! You're up! Good, just in time. We have guests for Christmas this year." She smiled brightly and turned to Chesty Blonde, "Buffy, I'd like you to meet my younger sister, Glory. Glory," she turned to face Buffy, "this is Buffy Summers. She's our new foster child."

Buffy and Glory smiled insincerely at each other as a formality, but Rosemary didn't seem to notice.

"I'm sure you two will get along wonderfully." she looked back and forth between the two females. "Glory, you'll be staying in your usual room. And Buffy's right across the hall now so you're not all alone down there this year." She grabbed Buffy's hand and started leading her out toward the garage. "Buffy'll just get your bags and bring them up to your room for you now," she declared cheerfully. "And you can come with me and we'll make some tea and get caught up."

Rosemary instructed Buffy quietly to go to the car and see John, who would deliver over the luggage to her. Then she turned about and led Glory into the kitchen/family room for tea.

*Great. Glory's a bitch and living right in my face at the end of the hall. Maybe if she hates me enough she'll leave me completely alone.*

She stopped short when she got to the garage and saw the pile of bags left there for her to lug into the house. She was about to say something mean and snarky under her breath when she noticed John coming around the other side of the Explorer. She didn't want him to hear her dissing his relatives. She also didn't want to see him again ever, but knew that was a foolish hope since he lived there and was 'responsible for her safety'. That still burned. *Idiot*.

"Hey," he greeted her quietly when she stood silently before him, looking over the bags.

"Good morning," she answered back without a glance in his direction. "I'll just get started on taking the bags up then." She reached for three of them and started back in the direction of the staircase without another word.

She noticed that John was immediately behind her with the remaining four bags, and he followed her down the hall to Glory's room, right across the hall from the safety of her own.

After she deposited the bags on the bed, she turned to leave again but John stood in her way with the other bags. He didn't make way for her to go around him, and since that was clearly his intent, Buffy stood back and waited expectantly for whatever it was he was going to say.

John considered the silent, obviously angry and uncomfortable, young woman before him. He didn't know what was the matter with him lately, but he was of a contrite spirit this morning, and felt an apology was in order today.

"Look, Buffy," he started uncomfortably as he put the bags down in front of him. "I was out of line last night."

Buffy was still frowning and crossed her arms in front of her, but said nothing. John decided to continue.

"Somehow, I guess I just got a little ... uncomfortable ... with you dating that boy, and I thought that being you were already sexually ... experienced ... that you might find yourself in a situation with a new boy that could get ... out of hand ... whether your intention was originally that ... or not."

Her expression and posture changed not a bit, and John quickly went back over what he'd just said looking for anything blatantly objectionable and saw nothing there that was so terrible. What was her problem?

"Okay, well. I understand. Thank you," Buffy sighed in resignation and moved to go around John and back to her room. John caught her arm as she passed him, and spun her around to face him again.

"Buffy, I don't know what your problem is, but get it settled before Christmas, okay?" he warned her. "I don't intend to put up with your attitude through the holidays, and if that means sending you back to social services then that's what I'll do. We took you in because we wanted to help, but we don't have to put up with your irritability and superior attitude."

She remained silent as he got worked up over the slights of which he accused her, and tried very hard not to pull out of his grasp and march away slamming the door behind her. That wasn't going to help the situation any, she was certain.

"So shape up, and get along with us and our guests, Buffy. Or you're outta here." John declared calmly as he let her go and turned out of the room and back down the hall.

Buffy counted to ten and then decided to return to her bedroom to study. As she crossed the hall to her room, she saw Glory leaning against the upstairs landing balustrade, smirking at her.

She glared at the horrible woman as she continued into her room, locking the door behind her. She plopped down onto her bed and hugged Mr. Gordo to her chest while she contemplated just where it had all gone wrong somehow, and what on earth she was going to do regarding Glory the ho. Well, yeah ...

She started to laugh.

*Ho Ho Ho.*

She broke into helpless giggles, and it took her a few minutes to calm herself before she was able to get up and start reading her textbooks for awhile. Willow would be coming over after school today, and she needed to be prepared for her practice tests. If she studied all day, she thought she'd make it. And best of all, she'd be out of Glory's way the entire time.

Studying had never looked so inviting.


~~~~~~~


When Willow arrived at three o'clock for their tutoring session, she was practically bouncing with excitement to hear last night's 'date details'. Buffy laughed as she settled back against her headboard, while Willow made herself comfortable sitting cross-legged against the footboard.

"Come on, come on! Details!" Willow nodded excitedly.

"Well," Buffy picked up Mr. Gordo and held him in her lap, twirling and smoothing her hands down his body by turns. "He picked me up and drove me to Frank's Diner for dinner. Have you ever been there?"

Willow nodded. "Rude waitresses, killer food? Oh, yeah."

"Yeah. Anyway, we talked and talked and got to know each other better over dinner. We played 'Three Things' and he was so adorable."

"Three Things? What's that?"

"You tell each other three things no one else knows about you, or almost no one else knows. It's fun and you get to learn interesting things about each other."

"What were his three things?"

"Oh, that's the most important part of the game. The three things are forever secret as long as the person doesn't want them known. No telling." Buffy shook her head seriously.

"Oh. Okay," Willow seemed disappointed by that lack of news. "Then what?"

"We went to the movies. Saw a great movie!" Buffy gushed.

"Oh! Oh! That new comedy, with --"

"Nope!"

"Oh, I know! It was that horror movie where these kids' car breaks down --"

"Nope!"

"Um ..." Willow scrunched her face in thought, totally stumped. What other date night movies were playing right now?

"We saw Million Dollar Baby." Buffy announced happily.

"On a date?" Willow asked tentatively, completely puzzled. "Was the idea to get you all weepy so he could comfort you?"

"No, that's not it. He didn't really want to, but I kinda insisted. I really wanted to see it. I haven't seen any other movies this year and that one really looked good."

"On a date?"

Buffy reached over and smacked Willow's knee. "Yes, on a date." She sat back and continued her story. "Anyway, he was really sweet during the movie, when it got upsetting and I would start to cry, he'd put his arm around me to comfort me, all gentlemanly and stuff. It was so nice, Willow."

"Comfort? Or... Copping a feel?" Willow raised her eyebrows. She knew Spike pretty well, and he was a seventeen year old boy after all.

"Comfort," Buffy declared, then thought about it a moment. "Mostly comfort," she added with a shrug, then continued. "So then we talked about the movie after, and about how they were a family together, and loved each other better than their real families did." She paused briefly. "And then we went up to the cliffs. It was on the cliffs over the ocean, with a parking turnout ... I don't know what it's called there."

"Moonlight Point." Willow provided, concealing her uneasiness with a smile. "It's a really good make-out spot." Willow was starting to become concerned again. *If that guy was just trying to get some from Buffy I will do him a ... a serious injury! Stupid boys!*

"Right. Anyway, we kissed for a while and it was so great! Willow, he's such a good kisser!" Buffy was all gushy and happy. She hadn't had much experience with that level and length of kissing, but she knew enough to know that he had some serious skills in that department. *Learned skills ... from a lot of kissing of other girls ... Yeah, okay.*

"I've heard tell." Willow sucked in a gasp. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! Please don't think his kissing is all over the school grapevine or anything ... at least not in a skeezy way. Just in the normal grapeviney way. Girls talk in the locker room before gym class, you know?"

"I get it, Will. I know he's been with a lot of girls, and like you said, girls talk. It's okay." Buffy reassured her friend with a little smile. She hoped it wasn't a problem, his experience ... and her lack of same.

Willow decided it was best to move on and prompted Buffy with a quick nod. "So, the kissing was good ..."

"Yeah. Very good." Buffy was all dreamy now, but forced herself to continue. "And then we were all holding each other - no naughty hands, just, you know, arms around each other and kissing, then he started to get a little more brave and I had to stop." Buffy pouted prettily. "I hated stopping, but I just wasn't ready for that yet, you know? I just wanted to stick to kissing without any other ... groping ... you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Willow smiled softly. "I assume from your complete lack of bad here that he stopped for you."

"Yeah, he was great about it, really understanding and gentlemanly. Then he took me back to Frank's Diner for some lemon meringue pie and more talking about stuff."

Willow sat bolt upright in excitement. "The pie! The lemon meringue pie! Like in the movie!"

"Yeah-huh," Buffy melted happily right there on her bed. "He wanted to share a piece of lemon meringue pie and talk some more. After the movie I told him how the movie meant so much to me, about making family of your friends when your own family is ... well ... not good. And when he pulled up in front of Frank's he just smiled at me, and took my hand and led me to the counter and ordered a piece of lemon meringue pie to share. And it was probably the most touching and sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me, Willow. I wanted to cry - but I didn't! I didn't want to spoil it being all weepy, you know? But it was such a great gesture and I don't think he could've done anything that meant more to me that night." Buffy looked seriously at Willow, and added softly, "I really like him, Will."

"Yeah. I know," Willow smiled back, reaching across to take her hand in hers. "And for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure - no almost completely sure - that he really likes you, too. In more than just another pretty girl to date way. I think he wants more this time."

"Yeah?" Buffy sounded like a little girl right then, and it melted Willow's heart to see it.

"Yeah," she nodded gently.

Buffy stared at her comforter for a few moments, torn about what she was going to do next. Bracing herself, she gave Willow a long serious look and began to share the one piece of her life that she'd left out when talking about herself this last week. She needed to have someone who knew, and who could perhaps offer her some advice on how to handle this thorny issue. She was putting a lot of trust in Willow, someone she'd only just met really, but she had no one else to trust, and she thought Willow would respect her privacy and not tell anyone else. Including Spike.

"Will? I kinda have a ... a secret ..."


~~~~~~~


Dinner was a little strained, and Glory didn't miss an opportunity to be perfectly gracious and pleasant to Buffy. Rosemary and John seemed quite happy that their foster daughter was getting on so well with their guest, and didn't see anything past the obvious effort Glory seemed to be making in getting along with Buffy.

Buffy didn't buy it for a second, but she was hemmed in on all sides now, with John and Rosemary looking vigilantly for any sign that Buffy was causing trouble, and Glory making certain that she came off as the calm, friendly, reasonable one. When alone with Buffy, though, Glory got in her digs, tried to rile her up and get her angry and hence in trouble with John. Buffy was outmaneuvered and she knew it. And it pissed her off.

She decided she'd just have to dig deep down inside and pull out those excellent survival skills she'd learned as a child to keep her parents mythology of the perfect home intact. Glory might be a hell bitch with a smooth facade, but she'd met her match in 'perfect child'. Buffy had that part down cold. She'd be damned if she was gonna lose this game.


~~~~~~


Thursday


"Where're my beautiful sisters?!" shouted a male voice as the front door slammed shut in the background. "It's the Ghost of Christmas Past, here to haunt you!" he sing-songed merrily.

Buffy came to the top of the stairs to see who had come in, and watched as Rosemary came in from the hallway and wrapped her arms around the man in the foyer. The man in the foyer that Buffy actually knew. She knew this guy.

*Omigod. It's Ben. Rec Center Ben. Of the kickboxing. And the flirting.*

What were the odds that she'd be spending Christmas with two older guys who'd flirted with her during the year? Astronomical in New York. Not so much in a tiny town like this, apparently. She was beginning to see why people left small towns. A lifetime of this was more than she could imagine. One week was making her crazed.

*Now what?*

Rosemary saw Ben's attention suddenly go to the upstairs landing, and spotted Buffy.

"Buffy! Come on down here and meet my younger brother, Ben," Rosemary called up happily.

As Buffy slowly descended the stairs she met Ben's eyes watching her, and he looked just as astonished as she was.

*God, if he's married too I'm just gonna have to move!* she thought exasperatedly.

"Buffy!!" Ben cried and bounded up the stairs to meet her halfway with a quick hug. "Rosemary, you didn't mention you were setting me up with this beautiful girl." Ben was just teasing, but Buffy blushed deeply nonetheless.

"What?" Rosemary was confused. "Buffy is our new foster daughter. You'd better not try to date her!" She sternly cautioned him.

"Foster daughter? Buffy?" he looked again at the furiously blushing girl, and backed up a step. "Oh, boy."

"Hi," Buffy gave a little wave with a little smile. "Good to see you again."

"Again?" Rosemary was scowling now. "Ben, what did you do?"

"Me? Nothing!" he assured her as the two made their way down to the bottom of the staircase and stood before Rosemary. "Buffy was in my kickboxing class this last year." he turned to Buffy. "Missed you the last few months. I guess now I know why you disappeared on me."

"Um, well, no ..." Buffy stumbled over her words. "I just had some other things that were important and didn't have time to keep up with the class after a while. You were a great teacher!" she added sincerely. "I thought you did a good job with it. Do you still work for the rec center?"

Rosemary laughed. "Oh Buffy, he doesn't work 'for' the rec center, he just teaches a couple of classes in his spare time. Ben is an intern at Sunnydale County Hospital." she beamed proudly at her little brother.

Buffy's eyebrows rose. "Really? He never said."

"And I don't believe you mentioned being only ..." he trailed off.

"Sixteen."

"Oh my God. I was talking up a sixteen year old girl." He shook his head and chuckled. "Thank goodness you never gave me any 'go' signals, or I might've wound up asking you for a date. An illegal date."

"Yeah, well. Sorry about that." Buffy just had no idea how to handle this situation. She was living the surreal life in earnest now. She was relieved, though, that he mentioned asking her for a date. She was pretty sure that he wouldn't have said that in front of Rosemary if he were already married or engaged or something. At least she didn't think so. This family was kinda weird.

Ben turned to Rosemary as the three of them walked toward the family room. "Where's Glory? I thought she got in yesterday morning?"

"You know Glory," Rosemary reminded him. "She's still not talking to you. I wouldn't be surprised if she avoided you all the holiday. "You two really need to talk and end this rift."

"Yeah, well. I would but she's impossible when she gets in this kind of snit."

Rosemary remarked to Buffy, "They're twins. And have forever debunked the theory that twins are always close to each other. They haven't talked or even been in the same room together for three years now, all over some stupid misunderstanding."

"She dated my boss and then started dropping little hints about me stealing drugs prescribed to patients. That 'misunderstanding' almost cost me my entire future career. The only reason I didn't crash and burn over that one was that my boss had already seen up close and personal what a bi -- ... um, what a trickster she really is." Ben explained with forced cheerfulness.

"You two! You know you love her!" Rosemary insisted.

"Not really. Not even a little bit." Ben shook his head, but he was still smiling and winking at Buffy, intimating that he might not be serious. "Now I ask you Buffy, would you forgive someone who did that to you?" Ben raised his eyebrows trying to tease her into taking sides.

"Oh no. Not gonna get caught up in the feudin' families. I have to study. You're on your own." She grabbed an apple, smiled broadly at the siblings, and marched quickly out of the room to head back upstairs.

Ben stared after her as she left the room. Rosemary smacked the back of his head.

"What?"

"Sixteen, you pervert."

"Right," Ben looked again toward the doorway Buffy had disappeared beyond. "Right."


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Like I said before - it's a long week in this story. People to meet, things to do, attitudes to set. Please leave a review if you can. I really appreciate them. Thanks!

Sara

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