Summary: Life can be difficult when you are fifteen years old with a baby and few options. Fortunately Buffy Summers is a resourceful girl. Spuffy. All human AU in Four Parts. It's a high school fic with actual high school coming up in Parts Two thru Four. This is a very long saga and will be completed. NOTE : The ratings and warnings I am giving for this story do not represent the entire story - they allow for occasional forays into difficult subjects, but most chapters do not dwell there. It's not a fluffy story, but it is not unrelentingly grim. Like life, it flows among the highs and lows. IMPORTANT: Although Parts One and Two are rated R, beginning in Part Three the story will move into some NC-17 territory. ‘The Song Remains the Same’ consists of Parts One and Two. When we move into Part Three it will start a new posted ‘story’ so that I can reflect the new rating. Also, Parts One and Two are quite long enough on their own. / Winner of 'Judge's Pick' in Round 11 of Spuffy Awards and Winner of Best Fantasy Angst and Best Fantasy Author in Round 12 of the Spuffy Awards
"Bloody gorgeous." Spike breathed out so low that neither woman heard him. He watched in wonder as the perfect angel that was his evening's date slowly descended the long staircase to stand before him.
She was wearing what even he could see was a high-end black skirt that cut off mid-thigh, with a cream-colored cashmere knit top and black mid-thigh-length fitted leather jacket and matching knee high boots. She wore her long golden hair loose, cascading down and spilling over her shoulders, with long tendrils curling gently and framing her face prettily. A simple silver cross necklace lay around her neck. The entire look spoke of an expensive yet simple elegance, nothing flashy or cheap or hurriedly hobbled together. The style was youthful and yet of unmistakable quality. Much like the girl herself, he was beginning to understand.
She was unlike any girl he'd ever dated before. She was at once very young and very grounded, mature even. One moment she seemed like a giggly girl, the next like a woman who had seen things in this world best not mentioned, and had possession of some secret, arcane knowledge. Spike hadn't met anyone as enigmatic and intriguing since the year he'd spent with his dark goddess, Drusilla. Dru had shown him things no sixteen year old boy had any business knowing. What would this one show him, if he let her? Oh, he was captivated all right.
*I do hope 'crazy' isn't part of the whole 'intriguing package deal', though,* Spike worried briefly. *Hope those two types aren't mixed up in each other so's you can't have one without t'other crazier part ... Can't live through another one like that ...*
Mesmerized by her slow descent, and lost in his own thoughts for a moment, he suddenly jolted to attention when he saw that she had indeed reached him and was waiting for some kind of response. Of the verbal kind. From him. He would rather simply stare at her a while longer, but it was 'that time' now.
*Time to charm the mom, and whisk my girl away for the evenin'.*
Buffy was as mesmerized by Spike as he was taken by her.
"Hi," she smiled softly, almost shyly, in greeting.
*This is it. The first date. I hardly know what to do with myself, and he's looking at me like I'm the only person in the world. I could seriously get used to that.*
"Pet. You're so beautiful this evenin'. Take my breath away." Spike smiled softly at Buffy for a moment, then turned to Rosemary. "Thank you for having me into your home, Mrs. Smith."
"You're welcome here any time, William." Rosemary was practically beaming. Not practically. She was beaming.
And that was her hand resting on Spike's forearm, all relaxed and familiar-like.
*What the f--?*
If Buffy didn't know better she'd think Rosemary was almost flirting with Spike. She knew better than that, right? Because that was just ... wrong. To a level of fifty -- wrong.
"Thank you," he smiled again and took Buffy's hand, starting for the door. "I'll have her home by midnight if that's fine with you, then."
"Certainly. Midnight is fine," Rosemary hadn't taken her eyes off Spike since Buffy had watched her open the door for her date.
*My date, Rosemary*.
Buffy was trying hard not to let her irritation show over what she considered Rosemary's blatant flirtation with her date. So she simply tossed back a cheerful "Midnight!" over her shoulder as Spike led her through the doorway and into the waiting night.
*God these people are weird.* Buffy griped petulantly to herself, immediately schooling her face into a serene smile when Spike turned his head her way as he assisted her into the still quite enormous black car. *Hands off, you middle-aged nut job,* she added unkindly as her internal monologue picked up steam.
"Y'alright, princess?" Spike had noticed her suddenly agitated mien and was watching her with concern as he fastened his seatbelt and prepared to start the engine.
She looked up quickly to see him staring at her. *There's that head tilt again.* That had to be the most endearing thing she'd ever seen on a boy in her life. She could easily fall in love with the head-tilt thing all by itself ...
"Um, yeah, great!" she covered with false cheer. She had to get Rosemary out of the car with them and leave her at home where she belonged. Rosemary was not going to mess up this date for her. If that woman thought she was gonna lay hands on Spike, she'd get set straight about that in short order.
"Well then," Spike grinned. "Let's get somethin' to eat. I know a little place we can go, and still make the movie in time."
Buffy nodded and settled back in the seat. She couldn't wait to see what this evening would bring.
~~~~~~~
The restaurant was an old-fashioned American diner, complete with jukebox and 'so rude you have to love them' middle-aged waitresses with strange curly hair bobs, polyester uniforms, and hair nets. They didn't ask you for your order so much as stalk over to your table, whip out their order pad and glare at you until you told them what to write down. If you were favored, they'd call you 'honey' and see to it that you were well taken care of, yet never once cracking a smile in the process.
It was seriously retro, but in a way that made you think it was less 'intentional ambiance' and more a 'time-capsule-ish failure to leave the fifties behind'. Buffy found the entire dining experience charming, although she thought she'd think twice about sending any food back with any of those waitresses. They were old but they looked like they could and would take any problem customers down, if necessary. She'd rather try to get on their good side and become 'honey'.
The food itself was simple diner cuisine, but was to die for.
The whole date so far was straight out of a nineteen-fifties or early sixties teen movie. Very 'Happy Days', except without all the stupid. So far she loved every minute of it.
Once their order was in and they each had an ice-cold soda in hand, the silence began to stretch out a bit. It occurred to Buffy that in spite of what was clearly an intense immediate attraction, they really knew next to nothing about each other.
*Time to fix that,* she decided.
"You know, we really don't know much about each other yet," she began with her best mysterious smile.
"What would you like to know, pet?"
There was the head-tilt again. *sigh*
"Why don't we make it interesting?" Buffy thought a moment, then continued with a grin. "We each tell each other what we guess the other person's life and current situation is, and then we each see how close we came to the truth."
"Sounds a plan," Spike nodded. "I'll play."
"Okay then, you first."
"Ah, ah ... your game. You go first, luv." He sat back and waited to see what she thought of him.
*Hmmm...*
"Okay, here goes," she started. "Your name is William Rayne but you don't like the name, go by Spike instead. I think you believe William was the boy and Spike is the man ... so, 'Spike'. You live with your uncle rather than your parents, and my self-preservation skills are telling me that's a minefield so I'm gonna skip that whole drama."
She watched him carefully to see if she was bumping into anything that he'd be upset about. So far, he didn't seem to be upset by anything except the mention of his living situation, and as soon as she announced she was skipping it he visibly relaxed again.
*There's a story there, and not one he likes told.*
"You dress the bad boy, but I think you secretly get good grades and help with the dishes when you're home. Not that you're fronting," she assured him quickly, "but it's just that deep down you're a good person, and treat others the way you want to be treated ... Mostly." She watched him a moment again. "You like being in control, and don't do team sports so much, but you do have some individual sports you enjoy playing. And I get the impression that you like to read. Your accent is pretty strong sometimes, so I think you haven't been here for terribly long yet. Either that or you're purposely keeping it thick to impress the girls.
"As for the girls, I think they are usually impressed, and you have your pick of them for the most part. But you haven't found anyone to settle down with yet ... Not 'marry' settle down, just 'monogamous committed girlfriend' settle down." She stopped a moment to see how he took that, but he gave no indication of what he was thinking. "I think you like the idea of love, but aren't sure it's something that can be trusted. Yet."
She stopped. "How'd I do?"
"Not bad, not bad." He sat up straighter and took a long swig of his soda, thumping the glass down when he was done and playing with the paper coaster as he considered how he was going to respond to her impressions.
"Born and raised in England. Parents divorced a few years ago, and dad wasn't interested in livin' a lifestyle that included children, so I went with mum. Couple years ago she remarried some ponce who had no use for children either, so m' uncle Giles was good enough to offer me a home here with him. And I've been here since freshman year of high school." He stared deeply into her eyes and continued, "Fell in love for what I thought was forever, but it only lasted a year when she broke it off with me, in favor of one of my good friends. Former good friend. And I decided then that women were not to be trusted."
He watched as the little crease between her eyes crinkled in combined concern for him and worry for herself. God, he didn't want her to worry about him that way.
"Dated a lot of girls this past six months or so, never really intended anything permanent with any of em and didn't care either." Her expression was as serious as a heart attack, but he needed to get this out in the open before someone else took her aside and made her doubt his every word and feeling for her. Someone that wasn't Willow, whom he was certain had warned her off, although he didn't know how much she would have said to make her point. There had to be a way to do some damage control before the damage was already too far gone. He could see from her countenance tonight that he still had a chance to change that perception around, as long as she wasn't influenced too much by the high school grapevine. Or by his friends.
*I am such an idiot, to put myself in the place where I sit now, with a girl I really like and who might be scared off after hearing my recent dating history. I might lose her before I even have her, and it'll be m' own bloody fault.*
"I do like to read, when I've time, and play some racquet ball and have studied some kung fu when I've spare moments. I'm also on the swim team here, and compete for the school at meets.
"And that's pretty much it. Up to the moment that I saw you sitting in the library, writing in your notebook and looking so much like an angel that I feared you'd disappear in a cloud of mist and be taken away from me forever." He gave her that killer smile then, as he remembered their meeting.
"And you took my breath away, pet. So bloody beautiful. I knew then that I wanted to know you better." And there was that sexy smirk that melted her into goo.
Suddenly his countenance changed, and he was looking at her consideringly.
*Uh-oh. My turn.*
"You are a puzzle," he began, watching her intently as he pronounced his opinion on her particulars. "'S like you materialized here in Sunnydale out of thin air, like a fairy or an angel. I don't think you're from 'round here, you've a way about you, your clothes, just little things that make me think of the east coast, not the west. Simple, but excellent quality, so there's money somewhere, and a good eye for what's fashionable and what's classic. You don't intend to follow trends for the sake of trends, you'd prefer to set them and let others follow you ... There's some family trouble somewhere, because the lady you're living with right now is not family, or shouldn't be if I'm any judge. Your family isn't here. I'm not sure what that makes the people you live with now, but I don't think you're completely comfortable in that house. Again, can't say why, but just a feeling I got when I picked you up today, and took you home the other night."
She was startled at his insight. Had Willow mentioned something to him about her living situation? It was possible, but she wasn't getting that feeling from him. She thought he really was guessing this stuff, and that he didn't yet understand the impressions he was getting, but was getting them nonetheless. She was going to have to watch this one. He might see more than she intended to reveal.
"You've missed enough school the last year that you have to study with Willow and take exams to prove you're ready to start middle of junior year. I can't even imagine where you've been that you're in that situation, so I'll skip that over. There's a whole story there that I'm not privy to yet, and I'm not gonna pretend to figure it out. You'll let me know when you want to. I can wait. I think you're very smart, and that you'll probably pass those tests when the time comes. And although I'd like to pretend that I picked that last bit up from just talkin' to you -- which I did, too, pet -- some of that comes from seeing that Willow is tutoring you and she hasn't been complaining that you're an idiot, which she has done in the past when she's tutored others who were behind in their classes. Believe me, she'd mention it." He laughed and sat back, done with his part. "And that's all I've got, pet. Mostly, you're a mystery."
"Wow. All that from just seeing me a few times. I'm kinda impressed." Buffy was stalling for time. Fortunately, the waitress brought their meals over and they spent the next few minutes settling themselves down to eating their dinners. If she thought he'd forget it was still her turn, though, she was mistaken.
"Come on, then, luv," he prompted. "Spill. What's the truth?"
She put her fork down and stared out the window for a moment. Turning back to him in all seriousness, she answered him back.
"I'm from New York. Westchester County, near the city. I have a father and a mother and a younger sister who are all back there still." She began picking at her food as she considered what to tell him. This had been her frickin' idea; she couldn't believe she still hadn't decided how much to tell him about herself. She didn't want to lie to him, but she feared a complete confessional would scare him off forever. And she couldn't bear it if he bolted, not now. She had to tell the truth, but perhaps not all of it. She wouldn't outright lie to him though. She couldn't tell him something that was actually untrue. She'd just leave out some of the details for now ....
"There were some things that weren't right at home, and a little more than a year ago I ran away and came out here to live with my cousin Faith. She's a couple years older than me, and ran away from home first, so I was the only one who knew how to find her. She took me in and I got a housecleaning job, and we lived okay for a while, on the skeezier side of Sunnydale. But we were happy, you know?" She looked hopefully for some response to her admission. His face was completely unreadable however. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, and hoped she wasn't already blowing it with just this small bit of information.
"But a couple weeks ago, Faith's boyfriend got into some trouble and had to leave town, and she decided she loved him and went with him." Buffy assumed that was the case. She still had heard nothing of Faith and Robin, and wondered sadly if she ever would again. "But when she did that, the police kinda tumbled to the fact that I was a runaway and pulled me in instead. So social services stepped in and next thing I know, I'm in a foster home with John and Rosemary Smith. My 'not family' family. And now I have to go back to school, and ... well, you see where this is going. Suddenly I'm at Sunnydale High, in the library with your uncle, who is in charge of my testing, and being tutored by your friend Willow." She looked down at her plate and moved the food around with her fork, waiting anxiously for his reaction to her edited story.
*If he can't handle this much, then he won't be able to handle the rest. Best to find out now I guess.*
She wasn't looking at him, so it startled her when she felt his hand close around one of hers and squeeze gently. She looked up into icy blue eyes that held a deep compassion and acceptance. She was so relieved that he accepted her in spite of her story, that she put the fact that it was not the entire story out of her mind for the time being.
"I'm sorry, luv," he shook his head gently. "'Twas bad at home, yeah?"
She was confused a moment, then it hit her. Trouble at home that caused you to run three thousand miles away had to be some serious trouble. Damn. Can't lie, so...
"Well, my dad is an international attorney, so he's traveling a lot, and my mom is like this Stepford wife society mom, and she kinda drinks too much too, so ... there were some serious problems between my parents and me, and it got to the point that they wouldn't let me live with them any more unless I became their perfect Stepford daughter, and I just couldn't do that and ... I left."
"Can't imagine anyone thinkin' you were anythin' but the perfect daughter, pet. They're bloody fools for not seein' who you really are." He gave her hand another squeeze and then released her. "Their loss, pet." He tilted his head in a question once more, asking, "When the police took you in, why didn't they make you go back home instead of stayin' here in Sunnydale? I'm happy they didn't, but I'd have thought they'd put you on a plane and get you gone."
"Well ... they would have, I guess, but my parents didn't want me to come home when they called them. And since I'd been here over a year, they kept me here, in Sunnydale." It surprised her how much it hurt to admit that. Honestly, she didn't want to live with them any more, especially if they hadn't changed their minds about the baby, but it stung to know that they refused to offer her the chance to say yes or no to returning home. Honestly, she had thought they cared more than that. They didn't. And it sucked.
She decided that this was as much hard luck tales as she could handle for one evening, and this was her first date and she wanted to have fun, not wallow in the misery that was her life. She needed to change the tenor of the conversation back to more fun, less agony.
"This is way depressing, and I want to have fun tonight, so let's drop this for now, okay?"
He nodded his assent and started concentrating on eating for a few minutes.
Buffy ate also, but didn't like the silence so much. She wanted to continue the 'getting to know you talk', but on less heavy subjects.
"Okay, here's a question for you. We tell each other three things about ourselves that no one -- or at least most people -- don't know about us. And it shouldn't be super depressing. We've already covered depressing this evening. You in?" she smiled hopefully.
"Sure, pet. I'll play."
"You first this time." she laughed as she took a bite of her dinner and waited to hear what he would admit to.
"Things no one or almost no one knows about me ... hmmm ...." he thought carefully for a moment, then she could see him settle on what he would reveal. "Now, no tellin' anyone else these things, yeah? Just between you and me we're admittin' this stuff."
Buffy crossed her heart. "Absolutely will not tell a soul. Ever."
"Okay then. Three things." He took a deep breath. "There's not a soul knows this but my aunt ... I have a secret love for 'Bridezillas'. Never miss an episode."
Buffy almost choked on her drink as she tried not to laugh out loud at this particular admission. Her gorgeous hunk with attitude was a closet 'Bridezillas' fan. Too funny. She forced herself to calm down and nod understandingly.
"I like it, too," she admitted sheepishly. "Did you see the one with the rehearsal, with Carrie and the fifteen bridesmaids and five junior bridesmaids and her demanding someone to get her a gun cuz she was seriously gonna shoot the next person who didn't get the walk down the aisle just right?"
Spike leaned in with a laugh. "I know. And I thought that poor caterer was gonna wind up an ingredient in his own canapés when she was done with him."
"Yeah. Don't mess with Texas. And her fiancé? I mean, really. Grow a pair already, you know?" Buffy added.
Spike almost shot soda out of his nose at Buffy's irritated admonishment of the poor harried groom.
*That goes in the file for later,* he thought with amusement.
"All right, second thing no one knows .... this one isn't known but to a few close friends, and I'll deny it if anyone asks, but I like to write poetry. No bloody good at it, but I enjoy writing it just the same." He looked away, didn't want to see just yet the look on her face at that admission.
"That's so sweet," she cooed.
*Bloody hell. 'Sweet'. She said it like she was noticing a cute puppy in a window. Not the impression I was hoping to leave with her tonight.*
"But still very manly," she hurried to reassure him, once she saw him wilt under the burden of being declared 'sweet'. "Can I hear one?"
"Sure. But another day, yeah? I don't want to spoil the mood with my awful poems."
Buffy pouted. "Okay. But I'm totally getting to hear some soon, okay?"
"Agreed." He gave some thought to what he'd admit to as number three. He didn't want to bring the mood down, but he also wanted to be straight with her. So, he offered up his final admission. "I got a girl pregnant a few months ago. She wasn't a girlfriend or anythin', just someone I slept with casual like, and then a couple months later she tells me she's pregnant. Scared the shite outta me, I'll be truthful."
Buffy stared at him in complete silence. *Oh God. Where was he going with this?*
Spike saw her turn pale, and quickly attempted to allay her fears.
"Oh, she got it taken care of, so there's no little one out there waitin' to intrude on our lives, pet." She didn't look any less pale, and he thought about what he'd just said and winced at the casualness with which he relayed this piece of news.
"Alright, I said that all wrong, didn't I? I didn't mean that I take this lightly or anythin', and I had absolutely no say into her decision - her mum was runnin' that show entirely and the girl had no say either from what she told me - but it was a scare, I will admit. I'm just seventeen now, and impending fatherhood was not somethin' I was gonna be too happy about." She still looked upset. Shite. Why did he even mention this? It's their first date and this clearly is not first date conversation. He needed to make this better and then move on.
"I mean, if I were to find myself in that position with someone I was close to, in love with perhaps, it would be an entirely different situation then, wouldn't it?" He thought she looked a little better, some color was returning to her cheeks. "I guess I told you this now because, well, I know Willow told you about my unfortunate dating history, and that I was with a lot of girls the last few months. And this thing, with the almost fatherhood thing and all, really made me think about what I was really doin'. It was something that got my attention, and made me want to change and be a better man, yeah?" His eyes were pleading with her to understand. "Have I bollocksed this up completely then?"
Buffy started breathing again, and realized she had scared him as badly as he had shocked her.
*He doesn't want to be a father at seventeen. Of course he doesn't want to be a father at seventeen! Who would?! He's looking at me like he thinks I think I'm too good for him now. God.*
"Well, I don't know what bollocks is, but if it's bad then no, you haven't. I was just surprised is all." She smiled tentatively at him, and watched him visibly relax again.
*What the hell am I supposed to say now? God I hate this. Stupid life.*
"Well, I guess it's my turn now," she decided to change the subject and lighten the mood again. "Three things no one knows about me ..." she made a show of giving it some thought. "My secret guilty tv pleasure is 'The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis'. I love that old show. And Maynard the beatnik is all 'Work!'." She pronounced the word with the alarmed cracking voice that the character always used. "I just love that. It's so simple, that show. The family, the friends, all simple and supporting each other even though they are so completely different from each other. And it doesn't matter that Dobie's all preppy and Maynard's all beatniky, and Dobie's dad is all conservative grocer-guy - because they all really love each other, and let each other be who they are, you know?" She smiled at him.
"I don't know that one, luv. You'll show it to me some time, yeah?" he smiled right back at her.
"That sounds like fun." she nodded happily. So far, so good. Mood lifting off.
"Second fun fact to know: I think a serial killer lives in my old apartment building. But even though we reported him to the police, they didn't really do anything about it. Whenever they catch that killer guy, I'm pretty sure it's gonna wind up bein' him."
Spike didn't even know how to respond to that one. "But you told the cops about him, yeah?"
"Yep. They said they'd get to him some time but they've got a lot of tips coming in and they have to do things their way, and sometimes it's slow. So .... Watch out for a guy named Zachary Kralik. I think he's the guy."
Spike just shook his head quietly, astonished at her statement. But she was right, she'd reported him and it was up to the police now, unless the man did something obvious to get himself turned in for real. Huh.
"And the third thing, is that I don't write poetry, but I really like to read some of it. I'm not a big sonnet fan, but I like ancient poetry a lot. Ancient Greece, Ancient China, Ancient Rome, Medieval Japan has some of my favorites."
"Recite one for me." Spike challenged her.
"Seriously? You're challenging me to recite poetry? How very west coast/east coast of you." She laughed. "Okay, this is one of my favorites. It's from a medieval Japanese noblewoman named Lady Suo, from about the eleventh century.
"That spring night I spent pillowed on your arm Never really happened Except in a dream. Unfortunately, I am talked about anyway."
Spike laughed at her choice. The girl had interesting tastes in poetry. Too funny.
"What's so funny?"
"The poem, pet. It's hilarious. And eleventh century you say? Brilliant!" Spike chuckled and put aside his plate, dinner having been over for a little while already.
"Time to leave or we'll miss the movie, luv."
"Yeah, it is. This was fun though, talking and getting to know each other better like this. I'm really having a good time tonight."
Spike watched the girl before him gather up her purse and jacket and start to stand to leave. She was very special, and each new thing he learned about her made him want to learn and understand more.
He realized then that it was completely settled in his heart now. He wasn't interested in her for a few dates, a conquest, and move on to the next girl. He'd finally found a girl who matched him, a girl who could hold a place in his heart and life as Dru had done the previous year.
He really wanted to do right by this girl. Now if he could just get 'little Spike' to behave properly, he'd actually have a shot at a relationship with Buffy. Because that was his goal with her. Not sex for sex' sake. But a real relationship.
If he didn't bollocks it all up first.
He paid the check and escorted Buffy to his car.
~~~~~
Well, here's the first part of the evening. Hope you enjoy.