Chapter 31: Friendship
Author's Notes: Well, it turns out that Part One was the hard one for you guys, with all the waiting for spuffy and the arrest and the trial and all. But Part Two is my hard part, as it's harder to write what I really want to do here. But on we go, and I'll try to get the chapters out a little faster than this last one. I re-wrote it again and again and just could not bring it into postable form. Oh well. The next one should be much easier. Thanks for your continued support and reviews. It means a lot to me.
It was about two-thirty when Buffy let herself back into the quiet house. Standing still in the entry hall for a moment, she tried to determine whether there was any sign of waking life within.
*Ah. Kitchen. Please God let there be Rosemary in a good mood....and real food... Especially real food, of the non-neon-green-glowy kind.*
She headed into the kitchen and stopped short, shocked by the sight that greeted her.
*What the--?*
The young woman rose from where she was kneeling and stood facing Buffy in silence.
For her part, Buffy was too stunned to speak.
The slight young woman tilted her head and frowned. "You now live here." It wasn't a question.
*
God, this is a small town!*
"Yeah." Buffy took a few steps forward. "I didn't know you worked for Rosemary and John."
"I did not bring you to this job. Your child would have disturbed. Rosemary would not like being disturbed by crying baby." Illyria was as stiff and formal as ever, although Buffy now understood that it was just her way, and did not actually reflect her feelings for other people. It was just Illyria. Icy, calm, strange Illyria.
"Oh. Well, yeah, I live here now, and I'm going to go back to high school next semester. I guess things have really changed from when I was working with you, huh?" She tried a smile, but Illyria simply stared back at her in silence. "Well, um, I'm just gonna get a snack real quick and then I'll be out of your hair."
Illyria slowly looked Buffy up and down as though she was trying to determine what else may have changed about her former employee, then turned and knelt on the floor and continued dusting the bar stools on the family room side of the kitchen counter. As Buffy passed on her way to the refrigerator, she commanded, "Do not walk on clean floor."
Buffy stopped and looked down at the freshly mopped and waxed kitchen floor and sighed. She could not in good conscience ignore that warning. She'd been on the mopping end of things herself, and knew that she would never take such workers for granted again, no matter where she wound up in life. She sighed and backed up, looking around her to see if anything edible was within reach.
*Apples.* She snagged one from a bowl on the counter, and considered where she wanted to go to eat it. She thought she'd like to plop down on the couch and vege for a bit in front of the tv, but couldn't bring herself to do that in front of Illyria. It seemed so spoiled and... wrong... somehow.
"Good to see you again, Illyria." Buffy smiled at the kneeling woman and turned to go upstairs to hide in her room until Illyria left for the day.
"The baby is not here?" Illyria did not stop dusting the stools as she asked this.
Buffy stopped dead in her tracks and turned to stare at her former boss.
"No. No she wasn't allowed to come with me," she softly answered, while staring at the apple in her hands, turning it around and around self-consciously.
"She was a good baby," Illyria still wasn't looking her way. She plunged a sponge into the nearby bucket and continued cleaning, wiping down the seats of the bar stools. "You must miss her."
"Yeah, I do."
"I heard about the police coming for you and cousin, take you away," she stopped suddenly and twisted slightly so that she could face Buffy from her position on the floor. "I felt bad. You are a good girl. And she was a good baby."
Buffy could feel tears spring up, and forced them back. She looked up to see Illyria gazing at her with what seemed to be sympathy. It was something she'd never associate with the strange woman, but she saw it in her eyes, nonetheless.
"Yeah, she is a good baby. I really miss her... so much."
"I clean many houses in this town. Me or my employees. If I see baby at one of them, I will tell you."
Buffy was flabbergasted by this offer. "You'd do that?"
"She was a good baby," Illyria turned back to her bucket and wiped down the last stool seat. "You were a good mother. You should not be separate. That is not right."
While Buffy stood stunned in the doorway, contemplating the words spoken by the cool and unemotional woman, Illyria picked up the bucket and dusting cloth and walked out into the hallway leading to the laundry room, never looking back.
"Thank you." Buffy called quietly into the now empty room.
She turned and continued up to her room to eat and to start studying for tomorrow's tutoring session. But she couldn't get the thought of Illyria's kind offer out of her mind. She was also still feeling very guilty that her boss was cleaning the house she now lived in. The entire situation was unnerving. Unnatural.
She decided that she'd have to clean her bathroom or something, to cash in some of the guilt coupons that seeing Illyria on her knees cleaning her foster home's kitchen had laid upon her. And she decided that if she was able to get some small Christmas presents for anyone this year - assuming someone gave her some money to try - then Illyria was going right on that gift list.
"She is a good baby," Buffy whispered to herself as she entered her bedroom. She let her tears fall freely as she plopped down, face up, upon the bed, her hunger forgotten.
*She's an
amazing baby.*
~~~~~~~
Rosemary stopped in the hallway leading to the living room upon hearing her new foster daughter talking with her cleaning lady.
"She was a good baby. You must miss her."
"Yeah, I do."
"I heard about the police coming for you and cousin, take you away. I felt bad. You are a good girl. And she was a good baby."
"Yeah, she is a good baby. I really miss her... so much."
"I clean many houses in this town. Me or my employees. If I see baby at one of them, I will tell you."
"You'd do that?"
"She was a good baby. You were a good mother. You should not be separate. That is not right." Rosemary backed away, heading back upstairs to the master bedroom so that her eavesdropping would not be discovered.
*Illyria knows Buffy? And what on earth was the girl doing before she came here, that the police were involved? And who is this cousin who was arrested?*
The only information she had been given was that Buffy had a baby but could no longer care for her, and she was placed into foster care. Rosemary had assumed that Buffy's family had the baby, or that Buffy had given the child up voluntarily. But the conversation she overheard made it sound like Buffy had no choice in whether to keep her child and did not know where she currently was. And that the police were involved somehow. The last thing Rosemary needed right now was more drama, and it looked like this new girl was a walking magnet for it. This was no little child she had opened her home to, but a teenager who may have serious problems, may even have dangerous friends or relatives showing up on their doorstep. Who knew what might happen? She would have to keep more of an eye on her from now on.
*Who on
earth have we taken into our home?*
~~~~~~~
Willow called around five to set up their first tutoring session for the next day at Buffy's house, agreeing to come around at three-thirty. Buffy took a chance and decided to invite Willow to stay for dinner as well. Rosemary had been feeling better the last couple of days, and with any luck at all she'd be fine for dinner Friday.
*knock knock*
"Come--"
The door opened and Rosemary strode into Buffy's room and sat down in the wing chair near her bed. She crossed her legs, smoothed out her dress, and folded her hands in her lap. She said not a word.
*--in.*
Buffy swallowed a sigh. Her foster mother really had no boundaries, but Buffy was in no position to object. She'd just have to learn to live with it and keep smiling.
*See? A smile. Just a little smile... not so hard...*
Rosemary glanced around the bedroom, her eyes finally landing on Buffy. She considered the girl sitting on her bed, turning the stuffed pig around and around in her hands. With some difficulty she tore her eyes away from the turning pig, and delivered her news.
"Tomorrow, I think we should go shopping," she met Buffy's startled eyes. "Some new school clothes, some school supplies, maybe some foods you'd like to have here now..."
Buffy didn't know how to react to Rosemary's offer. She was so quiet, so serious, so calm. This wasn't the Rosemary Buffy had come to know so far this week. But hey, new clothes and stuff. That was all good.
"Um. Thanks. I really appreciate that," she began, then added, "I set up a tutoring session for three-thirty. She's coming here - the tutor - at three-thirty. Would we be back in time?"
"Sure."
Buffy was a little spooked by this too-calm version of her foster mother. Something indefinable was bubbling underneath the surface of Rosemary's calm. It was subtle, but unnerving. Buffy suddenly wanted to get Rosemary out of her bedroom as fast as possible. Now if she could just think of a tactful way to accomplish that.
"Good then," Rosemary pronounced seriously and rose from the chair. "We'll leave here at ten am. Think about what you want to buy."
The door clicked behind her as she left, and Buffy fell backwards onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. 'Body-snatcher' movies came unbidden to her mind, and she banished the thoughts forcefully.
*Keep thinking like that and you'll never sleep again, Buffy.*
~~~~~~~~
The calm continued throughout the next morning, and on into the afternoon. Buffy did buy three new blouses, two pairs of pants, two skirts, a dress, and a new pair of shoes, along with some study supplies. There was an uncomfortably silent lunch at the food court in the mall, then on to the grocery store, and back home again. Strained didn't begin to cover the discomfort level.
Buffy hoped John would make it home for dinner that night. She didn't want Willow to walk into the weird that was her day right now. John seemed to be able to smooth things out and create warmth and good cheer in spite of Rosemary's moodiness. At least, so far he had. She'd known them less than a week and was still trying to get a handle on the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of her foster parents.
Speaking of which, she was very worried about Katie's foster home by this point. If this was her experience in foster care, what was happening to her little girl right this very minute? Was she happy? Were they treating her well? Was she some place with a lot of other kids, perhaps screwed up kids who didn't know how to treat a baby? Did she miss her mommy?
Was she
alright?
She didn't like the idea that Katie might be placed with a family that wanted to adopt her out from under her real mother, but at the same time she hoped that a family like that would at least be good to her little girl during this time that Buffy wasn't permitted to care for her. She prayed that was the case.
So much right now was completely out of her control, and she was fighting the despair that threatened to overwhelm her every time she let herself think about the situation she and her daughter were in right now. The only control she had now was to handle all the orders given to her by Judge Holtz as perfectly as possible; to cause no problems; to obey and succeed in everything she did.
All she had to do was be perfect. If she could do that, she could get her daughter back again. *Just be perfect, that's all,* she told herself. *You lived with mom for fifteen years. Perfect should be second-nature by now.*
For Katie, she could be perfect.
~~~~~~~~
Late Friday afternoon "You
so did not!" Buffy laughed from her position propped up against the headboard of her bed.
"I did. It was
really embarrassing, but what could I do? The ride already started and I couldn't get off. And my dad was soooo embarrassed. He just pretended like he didn't know who I was."
Both girls collapsed into helpless giggling for a few moments.
Willow and Buffy had been studying for about two hours when they decided that there had been quite enough book work and not nearly enough girl time. Books closed and put away, they settled down in Buffy's room to get to know each other better.
"So. When did you move to Sunnydale?" Willow settled down beside Buffy on the other side of the headboard and looked inquiringly at her new student/friend.
Buffy stilled and considered the girl beside her. It would be wonderful to have a real friend her own age, and she really liked Willow a lot so far. She was funny and sweet and really smart, and most important of all, she seemed to actually like Buffy, too. So far, anyway.
What should she tell this potential new friend? How much of herself could she reveal and how much would just put her off and derail the friendship before it even had a chance to start? And if she told Willow some things, could she trust her to keep those things to herself and not broadcast it on the high school rumor circuit?
She decided she really didn't know Willow well enough to answer most of those questions, so she would give her the cleaned up version of events. Later, when she knew her better, she could fill in some of the important blanks.
"I've been in Sunnydale for a year now, actually. But I lived on the other side of town with my cousin." she started carefully. "But then she had to move again and since I couldn't go with her this time, I wound up having to go into foster care this week. And so -- here I am." She smiled and waited for Willow's response to her opening explanation.
For her part, Willow was having some trouble with both the vague references to a 'cousin' who left her without a home, and the fact that she knew Buffy hadn't been to school in over a year. Buffy's explanation raised more questions than it answered. But how did she get better answers without offending her new companion?
"Wow. That's...wow." Brilliant, Willow thought. Try again. "So you just moved here to this house this week? That's really really quick."
"Yeah, pretty quick. I guess I was just lucky that this home was open at just the right time." Buffy smiled and willed her new friend to believe and let it go.
"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. Timing's everything, right?" Willow had some doubts but decided to believe Buffy's explanation and let it be. At least for now.
"Right." Buffy nodded with a smile. *Thank God. She seems to be buying this.*
Willow decided to push a little bit and see if she could get more information on the subject of school, which she couldn't help but notice that Buffy had skipped over just now.
"Your cousin wasn't big on school, I guess. I can't imagine missing a year of school like that." Willow thought that perhaps she was being a little too strong on the subject, so to soften her question a bit, she quickly added, "But I'm just a school geek, anyway. I really love school so it wouldn't occur to me to not go. But I'm sure you had good reasons."
"Right." Buffy's smile faltered a bit, and she thought fast. "When I went to live with my cousin I just didn't get around to enrolling in school again right away, and I guess time just slipped away from me and before I knew it I'd lost a semester. I guess I didn't think I could go back after that. I started studying for a GED but when I wound up here with Rosemary and John, the case worker decided I needed to go back to actual high school." Buffy hoped this was convincing. She knew
she wouldn't really be satisfied with the explanation she just gave. "So....here we are. Studying for exams so I can start middle of junior year." She shrugged. "I hope."
Willow nodded. "Well, we'll get you caught up and passing those tests in no time. I'm sure you can do it."
Buffy gave an exaggeratedly relieved sigh, and smiled widely at Willow. "Thanks Willow. I couldn't do it without your help, though. It means a lot to me that you're willing to tutor me like this, and you don't even know me yet or anything."
"No problem. I've been hanging with mostly boys for a while now. It's nice to have someone on the 'X' side of things to talk to for a change."
Buffy laughed. "I've been surrounded by 'X's my whole life. I am
so needing some 'Y' exposure right about now." She added in all seriousness. "But I'm really glad I met you and that you agreed to be my tutor and everything. I hope we can become friends, too."
"Me too. I mean, I'm glad we got to meet, and hope we can be friends, too." Willow smiled.
"Girls!!" came a strong male shout from down the hall. "Come down for dinner now!"
"Come on," Buffy jumped from the bed. "I want to introduce you to John and Rosemary. I think you'll really like John, he's funny and nice."
"And Rosemary?" Willow got to her feet and stretched the kinks out from sitting so long.
Buffy frowned slightly. "Not sure yet. She has some medical problems after a big car accident earlier this year, and she seems like she's either in a
great mood or a
bad mood. I just roll with however she is at any moment. What else can I do? I haven't known them long enough to really know how they are all the time."
She noticed Willow's concerned look, so she quickly added, "But I'm sure it's all good. They're a nice couple, and I just have to get to know them better is all. You know?"
"You're right. It's only been a few days. Can't really know anything for sure in just a few days." Willow offered her support.
"Exactly." Buffy smiled again.
In high spirits, the girls spilled happily down the stairs, to dinner.
~~~~~~~~
The evening meal seemed to be a success, in Buffy's estimation. John had brought home Chinese takeout to spare Rosemary cooking this evening, and in honor of their guest he made certain there were kosher entrees included in the order.
At the head of the table, John had been his usual entertaining self, enchanting Willow and causing Buffy to relax and really enjoy herself this evening. He told jokes, asked polite yet sometimes funny questions about Willow's schooling, family, and interests, and generally kept the conversation light and interesting for everyone. It was a happy family meal.
Except for Rosemary, who sat opposite him at the kitchen table, silently eating and giving polite strained smiles at appropriate places, when required to do so for appearance's sake. Buffy had been trying to ignore her misgivings about Rosemary's sudden change in attitude since she'd arrived on Monday, but the more time she spent with the woman the more wigged she was by her. Even John seemed to notice Rosemary's quiet unease at the table this evening, and had tried to draw her out into the conversation. She was not cooperative, however.
As the meal wound down, Buffy cheerfully offered to clear the table and do the dishes. Willow piped up and volunteered to assist. John was beginning his demur, when Rosemary spoke up suddenly and thanked the girls for their thoughtfulness, then rose and went up to her bedroom without another word.
The atmosphere cooled quickly from cheerful to quietly uncomfortable, and although neither girl asked, John explained that Rosemary's headaches were giving her grief this week. When a door slam could be heard from the second floor, John asked the girls to please excuse him while he made sure his wife was okay. Buffy thought he seemed more embarrassed than anything else by Rosemary's strange behavior.
"I hope it's nothing I said or did." Willow's brow wrinkled in consternation as she removed the plates and brought them to the sink.
"No, it's not you," Buffy reassured her friend. "She's been moody all week. Ever since that headache that started on Tuesday." She rinsed the plates and put them in the dishwasher while Willow wiped the table down. "I haven't been here long enough to tell what's
not-feeling-well-Rosemary and what's
I-think-I-hate-you-I-wish-death-upon-you-and-all-your-kind-Rosemary. Right now, I guess I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, and going with 'not feeling well'."
Willow nodded but remained concerned. "She wouldn't, like, hurt you, or anything. Would she?"
"God, no." Buffy scoffed. "I don't think so." She added more thoughtfully. "No! That's just the paranoia talkin'. Means nothing."
"Well, you know what Hunter Thompson said." Willow gave Buffy a serious look.
"Um....no. Who is he and what did he say?"
"Big time writer. Dead now." Willow nodded. "He said, 'There's no such thing as paranoia. It's all true."
"Huh." Buffy gave that some thought. "But then he's dead, right?"
Willow nodded.
"So maybe that was right
for him. It was true for him. Not necessarily true for me..."
*Although it would explain my life so far.*
"Maybe. Yeah, you're right. Dead writer. Probably not a good idea to follow him too closely down that path there."
"Right." Buffy nodded emphatically, then turned the dishwasher on and leaned against the counter.
Willow saw that it was already almost eight o'clock and that she'd need to be leaving for home soon.
"Hey! Do you want to go to the Bronze with me and some of my friends tomorrow night?"
"Bronze? What's that?"
"The coolest club in town. Well, the only club in town, really. But they let in teenagers - won't serve us alcohol though - and on Fridays and Saturdays they have a live band, usually a good live band. My boyfriend's band is playing tomorrow night and I was planning to go see him." Willow was all excited and trying to will Buffy to say yes. "You could meet my friends, get to know some people before school starts, you know? It'd be so great, and I'm sure they'd like you."
"Well..." She thought of Spike. He was one of Willow's friends. He might be there too. "Yeah, that sounds like fun," Buffy grinned. "But... I also don't drive. Will anyone be driving us?"
"It's not too far to walk to, really. And one of the guys can drive us home after."
"Really? Okay, cool. I'm in."
Buffy thought a night out with a friend (or friends) was just what she needed right about now. Just some innocent, adolescent fun time -- no adults, no monitors, no probation officers, no social workers, and no foster parents - nothing but herself and her desire to be sixteen for once in her life. She really wanted to try out being sixteen once or twice, preferably before she turned seventeen. She only had one month left to do that.
"Come upstairs and we can go through my closet. Help me pick out something good to wear for tomorrow night?"
Willow followed her new friend happily up the stairs and into her bedroom.
Willow thought that it was wonderful to have someone finally to do girly things with. Boys just never really knew if a blouse really went well with a pair of pants or a skirt, or whether the new dress said 'sexy' or 'can't dress herself'. They were all,
ooooh! big boobs! tight sweater! oooh! And they were no help at all when talking about other boys and crushes and how to get the right boy to invite you to the right party or dance. That was girlfriend territory, and Willow'd never really had one of those.
Until now.
She was so happy that Buffy had come into her life at this point. She'd have to watch Spike, though. She really liked Buffy, and didn't want Spike's inability to keep it in his pants to ruin her budding friendship with the girl.
*Boys are so dumb,* she frowned thoughtfully. She looked over at Buffy, who was happily pulling a leather skirt out of her closet and holding it up for Willow's opinion. She gave her an approving nod.
*I'm not letting Spike mess this new friendship up for me.*
~~~~~~~
This chapter gave me fits, and I still don't like it. But here it is. I just have to post it and move on. Thank you for your reviews. They are very encouraging and I appreciate every one of them.
Sara