The Song Remains the Same by SMac

Chapter 24: Ashes, Part Two

"Buffy, I have two things I want to discuss with you now, before we go in. I had hoped to have some good news to offer you, and the judge, when we went into court this morning, but it hasn't really panned out.

"The first thing I need to tell you is that I spoke to your father and mother this morning before I drove over here."

From the expression on Tanya's face, Buffy didn't think the news was good. She waited silently for the badness.

"They were both very relieved to know that both you and Katharine were safe and were very surprised that you had been living with Faith all this time. Apparently that had not occurred to them." Tanya continued gently, "But they don't feel that they can have you coming back home at this time, sweetheart. They said they are just getting some of the issues that have been a problem for them worked out, and that they need to concentrate on Dawn and your mother's recovery right now."

"What's wrong with my mom?" Buffy asked with some alarm.

"I believe you saw that she had been drinking more than usual that last year, and it did progress further than that, to the point that she was not able to really be a wife or a mother to Dawn any longer. She entered a recovery program and is doing quite well, but your parents are concerned that the stress of bringing you back home, along with your daughter, would prove too much for her right now. Your father and mother both wanted me to tell you that they really do love you very much and that they are very sorry about how that last year with them went for you, and that they hope and pray for your safety and happiness. Perhaps someday you'll be able to see them again, and work something out with them. But not right now."

Buffy fought really hard not to cry but was losing that battle. They didn't want her. They hadn't looked for her and they didn't want her now. She had suspected but it was so much worse to hear it spoken and confirmed. Tanya gave her a moment to compose herself again, and offered her some tissues.

"What's the other thing?" Buffy sniffled and blew her nose.

"The second thing has to do with the hearing today also, even more now that we know The Judge will be presiding," Tanya sighed uncomfortably and then ploughed on. "On Katharine's birth certificate, the father is listed as 'unknown'."

Buffy stiffened and looked away. This did not go unnoticed by Tanya.

"Now you don't seem like the kind of girl who'd be sleeping around with so many boys that she had no idea who'd gotten her pregnant."

Buffy stared at the tissue in her hands as she started tearing it into little pieces.

"So I think that either you didn't want anyone to know who the father was, perhaps to protect him, or that your pregnancy was the result of a sexual assault." Tanya waited, and observed that Buffy seemed to freeze up when she suggested the last option. "Buffy, if we can go in there and explain that 'unknown' in a way that doesn't make you look like you were sleeping around, that would really help here. Especially with this judge."

Buffy bit her lip and tried to control her breathing. She looked up at Tanya, who was waiting patiently for her reply.

"Wu...um...I..." Buffy dissolved into tears. Tanya got up and came around the table and put her arms around Buffy, who cried even harder.

"I've got you baby, it's gonna be okay now, I've got you." Tanya rocked her gently and cooed into her ear. "Gonna be alright,now. You just nod if I pick the right answer, okay darlin'?" Tanya caressed her head in a soothing manner.

Buffy nodded against the older woman's' chest, and clutched Tanya's shirt.

"Somebody attacked you, didn't they sweetheart?" Buffy nodded miserably. "And you never told anyone, did you?" Buffy nodded again and cried even harder. Tanya kept passing her tissues and holding her as she cried it all out. "You just let it go, baby, you just let it go. Nothing's so bad we can't handle it together. Just let it all go, now."

After about five minutes, Buffy rallied and pulled away. Tears were still falling, but she felt better, relieved. It wasn't a secret any more, at least not as much as it had been. She hadn't felt so taken care of since Fred moved away, and it was such a comfort to be able to melt into the arms of a strong motherly woman who wanted to help you and get you through the difficult times. It had been so long...

Buffy gave Tanya a cursory description of her ordeal the night of the party, and that no one knew except Faith.

"I don't want Katie to know," Buffy pleaded. "Please don't make it so she has to know someday. I couldn't bear it if she knew..."

"Let's take one step at a time right now, okay. Let's don't borrow trouble that hasn't even arrived yet and may never come. Okay?"

Buffy nodded and said in a little quiet voice. "Okay."

"Now, it would really help your case if we could go in the courtroom and let The Judge know what happened to you. He is probably going to assume the worst about you. It would be much better if we could change his opinion on that score."

"But Katie--"

"Needs her mommy. And we need to come out of that courtroom with you not sentenced to youth authority and Katie not taken into permanent foster care and ultimately adoption. It's worth the risk if we can avoid that, Buffy. Let tomorrow worry about itself. It's today we need to win."

Buffy contemplated the truth of that statement, and then whispered. "Okay."

"Good. Let's get Lindsey back in here. Your case is up in about fifteen minutes, and we still need to finish preparing you."


~~~~~~~~


Tanya and Lindsey explained to Buffy that it was very unlikely that she'd get Katie back at this hearing. Also, that Pat would probably try to pursue a foster placement for Katie with a family who would wish to ultimately adopt her. That was permitted under the law, but it was not a foregone conclusion and Tanya would be working with Buffy to get Katie back in her care again as soon as possible. They had eighteen months tops to make that work, or the state could have Katie adopted out. Buffy was very upset by this news, but Tanya told her it was better to be aware now than to hear it for the first time in court and perhaps upset the judge with an outburst. Tanya assured her that she was going to work very hard with Buffy to prevent Katie from winding up in adoption, but that that would surely be Pat's goal for her daughter. Pat was a big believer in adoption where underage mothers were concerned. As long as Buffy did exactly what the judge ordered, she should be able to get her and Katie back together again.

The deputy opened the door and told them it was time. Buffy took a deep breath and followed Lindsey into the courtroom, with Tanya following closely behind.


~~~~~~~~


Inside the courtroom, at different tables set out before the judge's bench, were the various parties to the hearing. There was Pat and a Korean American man named Gavin Park, who was Katie's court appointed attorney. Katie wasn't with them. At another table the district attorney, Lilah Morgan, had settled in. Behind her, in the first row, were both Gunn and Lorne, waiting to give their testimony when called. And at the middle table Tanya, Lindsey, and Buffy settled down to await The Judge's entrance. Buffy was very nervous, and Tanya reached down and held her hand for awhile to help calm her down. Soon the bailiff stood and announced that His Honor Judge Daniel Holtz was entering and they were all to rise.

Buffy watched the short, stocky, bearded man sit down at his bench and read some papers that the bailiff passed to him. He seemed very serious, severe even, and did not smile when he looked up at the people assembled before him. He seemed like a man who was used to commanding respect and expected to be obeyed.

Buffy's heart sank. This man looked like he ate puppies for breakfast. It may have been her imagination, but she thought he frowned a bit when his eyes fell upon her.

*Oh God.*

"I see that this matter is a criminal case, and is also the temporary disposition of two minor children, one of whom is the parent of the second. I assume that the young woman seated with you, Mr MacDonald, is the juvenile defendant and parent in question?" Judge Holtz spoken in a clipped British accent.

*Oh God.*

Lindsey rose, "Yes, your honor. This is Buffy Summers, the defendant and also the guardian and parent of Katharine Summers." The judge motioned for him to sit, and he did so. He turned his attention to Buffy.

"Good morning, Miss Summers. I trust the accommodations at the jail were adequate."

Buffy didn't know whether that was a question or not, and turned to Lindsey, who nodded.

She rose, "Yes, sir...Your Honor, sir." She sat back down quickly, blushing profusely.

Tanya leaned in, whispering, "Breathe."

Buffy let out the breath she didn't even realize she was holding, and some of the tension went with it.

*Good. Don't wanna pass out now.*

The parties each made their case, and Judge Holtz had a lot of questions about the drug and weapons charges, as well as Buffy's involvement with the strip club and it's underground illegal activities. Both Gunn and Lorne testified about the sting operation and their firm belief that Buffy was in no way involved or even informed about any illegal activities and was completely unaware of the contraband concealed within her child's rocking horse. Judge Holtz listened attentively and asked a lot of questions of the detectives.

He also asked a lot of questions of Pat, about the health and care that Katie had had prior to her being placed in custody. Pat told him that she was a healthy, well-cared for one year old. She had never seen the child with her mother so could not speak to their relationship, but she did have a current vaccination record from the San Francisco Free Clinic that was provided to her from the mother, which was confirmed as legitimate by telephone with the clinic that morning, and she had also been examined by a physician that morning who had pronounced her in perfect health and age appropriate in growth and behavior.

Then he turned to Buffy and told her he wished to ask her some questions. Lindsey and Tanya had told Buffy to answer honestly but clearly, and to stick to the point.

*Don't ramble, they said.* Buffy was so nervous she couldn't tell if she was rambling or not any more, but Judge Holtz didn't seem impatient so she tried to relax and just answer his questions as best she could.

He gave no indication of whether he believed her story or not, and that fact caused Buffy's anxiety to spike. She hoped he would ask all the right questions, because if he didn't ask something that she thought might be important, she didn't know if she was allowed to bring it up herself. She was standing, so asking Lindsey was not easy to do without interrupting the Judge at the same time. She just wished this would end already.

Judge Holtz finished with Buffy, but then suddenly turned to her and asked her sternly what the birth certificate meant by 'unknown' under the father's name.

Buffy couldn't breathe. This was a nightmare. She knew she had to answer, but all these people were looking at her and she'd only ever told two people, the second less than an hour ago, and she didn't think she could get the words out. Judge Holtz looked like he was about to chide her for her lack of response and possibly for being a slut, Buffy wasn't sure.

Tanya rose and placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Your Honor, if I might answer that question for Miss Summers..."

Judge Holtz narrowed his eyes at Buffy, but nodded his assent.

"Miss Summers had just turned fifteen when she was, without her knowledge or consent, slipped a drugged substance and sexually assaulted at a party she had been invited to. She did not know the boys involved and could not identify them once she recovered her senses. That was and remains her only sexual contact and was the cause of her pregnancy. She wrote 'unknown' because she truly does not know the identity of the boys who raped her, and today is the first time she has admitted to anyone other than her cousin that this rape occurred and caused her pregnancy. She is having some trouble answering you for that reason."

Everyone in the room became as still as death, and Buffy closed her eyes and willed herself to sink into the floor and never be seen again. She felt the beginnings of tears behind her eyes; a couple escaped and ran down her face unchecked. Tanya whispered in her ear, "It's okay, baby, I've got you, sit down by me now. It's okay."

Buffy sat down and slowly opened her eyes to find Judge Holtz staring at the papers before him again. She didn't dare look at anyone else. Tanya kept hold of her, her thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of her hand.

"Breathe, sweetheart, breathe." Tanya whispered in her ear. Lindsey put a hand on her other arm and squeezed without looking in her direction, for which she was very grateful.

"I am sorry that you were abused in such a manner, Miss Summers. You have my deepest sympathies." Judge Holtz didn't seem to soften a bit, but his words sounded sincere to Buffy's ears. "And my deepest respect."

Buffy's eyes widened at that unexpected declaration. She couldn't get herself to stand again now, but she did offer a soft, "Thank you, sir...Your Honor." Judge Holtz nodded as he turned his eyes upon her again, and she wasn't sure but there may have been just the ghost of a smile there for her.

Judge Holtz then turned his attention to Pat again. The Judge questioned Pat on her opinion regarding a proper placement for Katie. Pat went on and on about the wonderful couple who were approved foster parents and who also had been looking for a child to adopt for a long while now, and how Katie was just the perfect child for them and what a good home it would be....and on and on. Judge Holtz finally stopped her and asked pointedly if she could tell him the purpose of adoption.

Pat was at a loss as to how to answer that question, it was such a self-evident answer that no one had ever asked her to define it before.

"Well, your Honor, adoption is a system where we assist couples and families who desire children to adopt them and create a happy family life for the children involved."

*There,* she thought, *that should please him. He is a big believer in good solid middle class traditional family values.* She smiled at Judge Holtz.

Judge Holtz narrowed his eyes and stared hard at Pat for almost a full minute, and she was trying very hard not to squirm under his scrutiny. It was the right answer, so why was he staring at her like that?

"No, Ms. Winslow, it is not." he intoned seriously.

"Sir?" Pat was very confused.

"The purpose of adoption, Ms. Winslow, is not to find children for people who wish to adopt them. The purpose of adoption is to find families for children who need them."

"That's the same thing. I'm afraid I don't understand...." Pat was more confused now than ever.

"I'm sure you don't, Ms. Winslow. More's the pity." Judge Holtz sat up very straight and announced that he was recessing this hearing for lunch and that the parties should return punctually at one o'clock to hear his decision. And with that, he rose and marched imperiously out of the courtroom.

Buffy almost collapsed back into her chair. "What does this mean?"

Tanya smiled, and Lindsey pronounced, "It means that somebody finally called Pat up on all her crap. Good for him."

"And good for you, Buffy. That was a very good sign of the way Judge Holtz is thinking."

Buffy didn't entirely understand, but she was grateful that it was supposed to be a good thing, and, because she was still a prisoner, she was escorted to a holding area for the lunch that she realized she was too nervous to eat.

So she waited quietly in the little holding cell, her stomach knotted with nervousness.

And very very bored.


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Well, there's part two of a three-part chapter. We have the third part to go, then Part One of the entire story is complete and we are on to Part Two immediately. There will be no time gaps in posting Part Two of the story. And hey! Spuffy! Hope you are all well and still enjoying the ride here. I really appreciate all your reviews. I'll be posting part three of this chapter later today.

Sara

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