Summary: Life can be difficult when you are fifteen years old with a baby and few options. Fortunately Buffy Summers is a resourceful girl. Spuffy. All human AU in Four Parts. It's a high school fic with actual high school coming up in Parts Two thru Four. This is a very long saga and will be completed. NOTE : The ratings and warnings I am giving for this story do not represent the entire story - they allow for occasional forays into difficult subjects, but most chapters do not dwell there. It's not a fluffy story, but it is not unrelentingly grim. Like life, it flows among the highs and lows. IMPORTANT: Although Parts One and Two are rated R, beginning in Part Three the story will move into some NC-17 territory. ‘The Song Remains the Same’ consists of Parts One and Two. When we move into Part Three it will start a new posted ‘story’ so that I can reflect the new rating. Also, Parts One and Two are quite long enough on their own. / Winner of 'Judge's Pick' in Round 11 of Spuffy Awards and Winner of Best Fantasy Angst and Best Fantasy Author in Round 12 of the Spuffy Awards
Janice was worried about her friend these days. She seemed to be in another world sometimes, and something at home just wasn't right. Like right now. It was full-on dark, and everyone had left basketball cheerleading tryouts already, but Janice's mother refused to drive away until she was certain that all the girls had been picked up. Not for the first time, Janice noticed that Dawn was left alone at some school event, waiting for her ride home. And once again Janice's mom would offer to give her a ride, and Dawn would make some excuse for her absent mother. She just wished Dawn would talk to her about whatever was going on, because it was becoming more obvious to others now, and no one knew what was behind it. As best friend, Janice felt she should have the inside scoop, and she knew less than nothing. Janice was usually the one who knew all the dirt first, wherever and whatever it was. She didn't like being out of the loop on this one.
"Da-awn!" Janice bellowed one more time. This time the girl turned her head her way and waved. "Come on, we'll give you a lift!" Finally! Janice watched Dawn pick up her bag and start walking slowly over to their minivan.
Dawn hated this part. The part where no one came for her and she was forced to take rides from some other mother, another mother who ever so politely gave her the third degree about her mother's whereabouts. Janice was her best friend, but her mom was the nosiest of all, and stuck to the subject like a bloodhound. It was getting harder and harder to come up with convincing lies. So she just smiled and tried to hop in the back. Janice's mom wouldn't let her get away though, and insisted she sit up front in the passenger seat with her. *The better to grill me.*
As they drove home, there was blessed silence for about two minutes while Janice's mom worked her way up to asking all her questions.
"So, Dawn, we didn't see your mom at the Mother's Tea last Saturday."
Great. "Yeah, she had a bad headache and needed to lie down."
"She's been having lots of headaches lately..."
Dawn nodded silently and looked out the window.
Janice's mom wasn't going to stop now. "Is she seeing a doctor for them? Does she know what is causing them?"
*Janice's mom will plaster on fake concern and smile encouragingly to get me to open up right about now. Yep, right on cue.*
"Yeah, but they're not anything too bad, just hurt I guess."
"I see." Dawn was quiet again, so Janice's mom tried another tack. "Your sister must be very cold right now."
*Huh?* Dawn frowned a second and then smoothed into the lie she needed to tell. If she could just figure out what Janice's mom was talking about, she'd actually know what lie that was supposed to be. She turned to Janice's mom and said as casually as she could, "Yeah, she probably is." *Whatever that means.*
"I was just so surprised to hear that she was attending school in Switzerland this term, it seemed so sudden."
"Yeah, it probably seemed like it, but Buffy'd been talking about going for a long time now, she wanted to go to school...some where else...see what...Europe...was all about..." *Hope that sounded realistic, cuz I don't know what the hell I'm talking about any more. Switzerland!! God, mom! Way to deal with reality there.*
"Really? I didn't get the impression that Buffy was so studious. I can't imagine there are a lot of things to do in a Swiss boarding school."
"I guess. Buffy didn't really talk to me about it much, she just wanted to go is all I know."
"I can't imagine Buffy somewhere without boys!" Janice's mom smiled, and watched Dawn's reaction closely.
*Thank God! We're at my house. Get me outta here!*
"You'd be surprised." *What the hell does that mean?! I don't even know what I'm saying any more. Gah!*
"Well, tell your mother I hope she feels better soon. We're hoping we can talk her into chairing the committee for the Annual Eighth Grade Valentine's Day Dance this year. She has such a gift for organizing these events, you know."
"Yeah, I'll tell her." Dawn turned and said her goodbyes to her friend and her mother, and noted that they waited at the curb until she actually entered her house. She waved them on, and Janice's mother finally pulled away from the curb as Dawn closed the door.
Dark. The house was dark again.
"Mom!"
Silence.
"Mom!"
Still nothing.
Dawn searched the downstairs then ascended the stair case and checked the master bedroom. No mom. She heard a noise from Buffy's room. Following it there, she stood in the doorway and watched quietly for a moment.
Joyce sat in the wing chair to the side of Buffy's bed, holding a family album in her lap and a glass of...what?...Scotch?...in the other. It was now full night, and no light was on. Dawn wondered how long she'd been sitting there.
"Mom?" No reaction from Joyce. "Mom, it's dark out. Why don't we turn on a light now?" Still no response. "Are you going to cook dinner tonight?" Nothing.
Dawn sighed, and left her mother to her dark musings. She went back down to the kitchen and fixed a sandwich and a soda, and returned to her room to do homework and watch tv. She hoped her dad would come back from Spain soon. She didn't know how to handle her mother any more, and she didn't think she could keep pretending much longer that all was well. The constant vigilance and cover-up was exhausting. Sometimes she really hated her sister. If Buffy hadn't screwed up so badly, their family would be happy and whole.
Buffy had ruined everything.
~~~~~~
The morning of the twentieth shone bright and clear for the first time in a week. Buffy stretched and checked the clock. Nine. She felt absolutely decadent this morning, and felt right down to her toes how thoroughly wonderful it was to wake up to gentle sunshine instead of Katie's cries and the drip drip drip of rain.....Katie!!
Panicked, Buffy leapt off her bed and dove for the crib. When she saw her daughter sleeping peacefully, alive and well, she let out a relieved sigh. *God! I thought...*
She'd thought Katie had....died. She'd never slept through before; Katie was as reliable as an alarm clock, and that clock was set firmly for 8 am. *This is a good thing. More sleep at a time is a good thing. She's alive. This is normal. This is a good thing...*
Once Buffy got past her fear and was in a good place again, she decided to go grab some cereal while her time was her own for a minute. No telling when the Katie-clock would go off, this was new territory for her.
Speaking of food....what was that wonderful aroma? Could it be....?
Yep! Pancakes. Faith was at the stove making pancakes for breakfast. They smelled wonderful, but it was Tuesday. So how....?
This morning was turning into one big question mark.
"Hey! Mornin'!" Faith smiled as she slid one onto a stack of four already made. She handed the plate to Buffy and pushed her gently toward the table, where orange juice, syrup, and sausage was waiting. "I'm glad you're up. We need to eat these, and I didn't have the heart to actually wake you, so I was kinda torn there...."
"Wow. I can't believe you did all this," Buffy took in the table and then turned on Faith, "And how are you home this morning?"
"Ah, that was part of my fiendish plan. I worked on Sunday, to make up for today. Frank let me have today off so we could do your birthday up right."
"That's sooo sweet!" Buffy almost got in a hug but Faith deftly sidestepped and turned her toward her chair and bade her eat. Once Buffy was seated, Faith grabbed her stack and the two girls began to eat all the wonderful food.
Katie awoke about three-quarters way through the meal, and Buffy changed and nursed her before handing her off to Faith while she showered. When she came back in, Faith was dressed and so was Katie, both ready for an outing it seemed.
"What's going on?"
"This is your big day. Sixteen! And you are going to have your special day, starting with an appointment with a salon for a manicure, pedicure, and hair care, whatever you want. The appointment is for ten-thirty, so we've gotta get going."
Buffy was stunned. Seriously? Faith was doing this? "Oh my God, I don't know what to say!"
"Say thank you Auntie Faith, and let's motor!" Faith grabbed the diaper bag - already packed, Buffy noticed, and motioned for her to precede her out the door. Buffy didn't have to be asked twice.
~~~~~~
The salon treatment was heaven. The salon ladies fussed over Katie while Buffy and Faith got the works. At noon, they had lunch in a little cafe nearby, and then Faith told Buffy about the rest of her day.
"Now, let's see, it's almost one so it's a little early, but let's see if we can convince Miss Katharine to eat a little early today, so you can have some uninterrupted quality time this afternoon."
"Doing what?"
"You'll see." Faith was enjoying this. "First, feed Katie, then I'm taking you somewhere special."
Buffy couldn't imagine what Faith had in mind, but she obeyed. Where she wound up she could not believe. "Aphrodite's Spa," Buffy read the sign aloud. "What did you do?"
"Your appointment is for one-thirty. It's the full treatment, two and a half hours of wraps and facials and massages and saunas." Faith loved the look on her cousin's face.
"How? Why? How?" Buffy was just stunned.
"Because it's the one and only time you're gonna turn sixteen, and you deserve a day where it's all about pampering you for a change. You take good care of Katie and, frankly, of me too. Now it's time we took care of you."
Buffy felt tears well up, happy tears. She took care of Faith? No, it was the other way around. She couldn't believe her cousin was doing this for her.
"How can you afford all this? It's so much!"
"I've been saving a while for today. Don't worry about it. Just go, have fun. Katie and I will have a great afternoon together, won't we baby?" Faith turned to the baby in her car seat. Katie gurgled. "See? She agrees with me. Here is your reservation, and I'll be back for you at four."
Buffy just sat there staring at the spa.
"Go! Before I decide to hand Katie to you and go in myself."
"Oh no you don't!" Buffy laughed. "I'm all over this." She turned back to Faith. "Thank you."
"Ah ah ah! No crying or hugging. Just relaxing massage and wraps this afternoon. Out!"
"Yes ma'am." Buffy jumped out of Faith's car and started her afternoon of special pampering.
Today, she felt like a princess. It was good to be sixteen.
~~~~~~~
Home again at five, and Buffy was so relaxed she thought she might puddle through the floor to the apartment below. She laughed to herself. If Fred were home, what a surprise that would be!
Faith was taking her time unlocking the door, but nothing could annoy Buffy right now. Which was a good thing, because Fred had a surprise of her own on the other side.
When Buffy walked inside, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her. Balloons and streamers and the coffee table full of presents. She caught the aroma of roast chicken from the kitchen. She was willing to bet there was birthday cake in there too.
"Omigod! You guys! This is amazing! I can't believe you did this!" she ran and hugged Fred tight. "And how are you here?! I thought you weren't coming back 'til tomorrow!"
"This is part two of our fiendish plan," Faith teased. "Fred was meant to come back late this afternoon, not tomorrow. We just told you tomorrow to throw you off the scent."
"Yeah, we were devious." Fred laughed.
"It worked." Buffy was close to tears. She couldn't believe how these two young women had just stepped in and worked to make her birthday so special. This was so unexpected.
"Dinner first, then presents, then cake!" Faith pronounced. "The official Summers family birthday rules must be followed to the letter."
Buffy laughed, but it brought to mind her mother, whose rules they were. She was so strict about her holiday traditions. She missed her mother, at least she missed the kind although rigid mother she used to know, not the unsmiling brittle one she left behind in November. She wondered what her mother was doing now, on her birthday. Did she even remember this day?
*Duh! Of course she does, you idiot.* Buffy knew that she would never forget the day of Katie's birth, no matter where Katie was in the world. She had to believe her own mother felt the same. *I'm so sorry, mom. But I had to, I had to save Katie, I had to make sure she wasn't given away to strangers.* Buffy hoped one day her mom would understand and forgive her. Someday....
But today? Today there was cake and presents and the most aromatic chicken in the world just waiting on her to say the word.
"Let's eat!"
~~~~~~~
After dinner, the girls sat around the living room and just talked and shared stories of their lives before they knew each other. It was such a peaceful, happy evening, no cares, no worries, no outside world to interfere and disturb the harmony of that moment.
Katie was trying to grab her feet while propped up in Fred's lap. "She looks like she's gonna be blonde," Fred remarked. "Was her daddy blonde too?"
Buffy looked thoughtfully at her daughter and considered how to respond to that question. "No, but I was blonde my first few years too, so she probably got that from me." Buffy had no idea if her father were blonde, but the answer sounded safe enough, and could cover for whatever it turned out Katie would be. *Blonde? Huh.*
Faith watched Buffy as she answered Fred's innocent question, and smiled softly at the way Buffy covered for her secret.
Buffy caught Faith's expression, and returned a sad smile of her own. Usually Buffy just completely dissociated her daughter from anything remotely father-like in her existence. When she thought about it at all, she almost thought of her like she was some test-tube baby, from some anonymous sperm bank. It hurt less that way, and she did so love her little girl. She didn't want to have to think about that night when she looked at her baby girl, she just wanted to sever the timeline in half -- Before Katie and After Katie. She was definitely AK right now. She didn't see any reason to think about BK ever again.
Usually, that worked. But every now and then, it was harder to pull off. Buffy was so determined to sever that connection, that she found herself not thinking about BK at all. When it did come up, at times like today, she wondered how long she'd be able to keep that particular wall from crumbling.
*Well, whatever happened or happens, tonight...for tonight...it's just us. A beautiful happy birthday, no bad thoughts allowed.*
Buffy smiled and asked if anyone else wanted more cake.
Faith's eyes followed Buffy into the kitchen. Deep down inside, she was worried. Things had a way of catching up with you, and denial only worked so long. She wondered how long it would be before it all caught up with Buffy. Because there were few certainties in life, but she knew this for a fact: this was gonna catch up with her young cousin someday, no matter how hard she tried to avoid it.