Summary: Sequel to Bring Me To Life. What if Spike had a chance to go back to the beginning? Could he change the outcome of their fate, or has it already been pre-determined? Follow them on this new and somewhat mystical journey, as they rediscover what it means to live and love.
Author's Notes: *gulp* I just couldn't resist. That is all.
Rating: NC-17
Another week went by and Spike's condition had seen a remarkable improvement. The doctors weren't sure if he was going to make it through that first week due to the fact that he lost so much blood, but they were relieved to find that he was healing not only quickly, but efficiently as well. His head injuries had caused little, if no, long-term damage, and the lung that had been punctured was almost fully recovered. Spike had been breathing on his own for a little over a week and a half now and the doctors were amazed at how far this man had come in so little time.
Karen entered the room then, Spike's breakfast tray in hand. "Hey, there. How are you feeling today?"
"Better," he smiled, sitting himself up in bed. It was hard to move with the cast, but he was coping. "Can I go home?"
She set his meal down in front of him. "Soon," she said. "The doctors want to keep a close eye on you. The first two weeks are always the most pivotal--we want to make sure there isn't going to be any long-term damage."
He sighed, desperate to get out of there. Being confined in this room for so long was driving him crazy. "Yeah, yeah. I reckon I'll be fine, though. I'm healin' up nicely, am I right?"
"Quite," she agreed. "Still, we want to keep you here for a least a few more days. Just to observe you."
Spike nodded in reluctance and began to dig into his oatmeal and cinnamon roll.
A few minutes later, a second nurse entered the room. "There's a young woman here to see you, Mr. Tyler."
He looked up. "Who?"
Karen went to the door and peeked out, then turned back to Spike. "It's Miss Summers. Can we send her in?"
Spike swallowed down the bite he had just taken and set his spoon down. "Uh, yeah. Of course."
He was surprised to hear that Buffy was back. She hadn't returned since the day he had mistaken her for... well, for someone who didn't even know he existed yet. It hurt that she hadn't come visit him since, but why should she? She didn't know him. She probably didn't care about him. The only reason she initially came was because of the guilt she felt for putting him there in the first place.
Pushing back his regret, he sat up the best he could and waited for her to enter the room. When she did, his heart almost stopped. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She was wearing a pale pink sundress with a magenta, floral design. Her hair was swept back into a small, blonde ponytail at the base of her neck and a few unruly tendrils hung loosely around her face. Spike noticed some stitches on the side of her head that looked to still be slightly swollen. But other than that, nothing marred her perfect complexion and golden skin.
She's so young, Spike thought, realizing that she looked exactly how she did in Willow's yearbook picture. Only sixteen-years-old. Of course, he was three years younger than he predicted, as well. But still--sixteen and twenty-five? Quite an age difference. Not that you have a chance with her, anyway, you git...
"Hi," she finally said, hesitantly approaching his bed.
"Hi," he replied.
Buffy nervously wrung her hands together, as she chewed absently on her bottom lip. "How are you?"
"Alright. You?"
"Great."
He smiled. "Good to hear."
She nodded and sat down in the nearby chair. "Look, I just stopped by to apologize for everything. I-I mean, I know that doesn't change what happened or what I did, but I wanted you to know. I promise I won't come in here anymore and bother you. I can only imagine how much you hate me."
Spike frowned and shook his head. "Not at all, pet. Why would I hate you?"
Buffy sent him an incredulous look. "I almost killed you," she said seriously. "How could you not hate me? Hell, I hate me. What I did to you? It's horrible and unforgivable."
"It was an accident," he assured her.
"No, it wasn't. You do know that I was drinking, right?"
He nodded.
"So then how can you act like it's not a big deal?"
"We all make mistakes, love. I know you didn't mean any harm. 'Sides, the doc says I'll be as good as new in no time."
"William..."
Spike glanced at her then in confusion. She had never called him by his real name before.
Buffy noticed his reaction to the name and blushed. "I-I'm sorry. The nurse told me your name. Would you rather go by Mr. Tyler or--"
"No, it's alright. I just usually go by Spike."
"Oh. Spike." The name sounded strange on her tongue. She looked at him timidly and asked, "Would you mind if I called you William?"
He smiled, softly. "You can call me whatever you like, pet."
She smiled back and offered her hand in greeting. "I'm Buffy, by the way. In case you didn't know."
"Right." He held out his hand and she took it gently, wrapping her small fingers around him. Spike couldn't help but suck in a breath at the contact--she was so warm and perfect and he had missed her touch more than anything. Electricity shot through him and it took all of his willpower not to grab her and kiss her senseless.
Buffy must have felt it, too, because she pulled back sharply, her face flushed. "I-It's nice to meet you," she stuttered, taking a step back from him.
"Likewise."
She sat back down in the chair. "So, are you going home soon?"
"God, I hope so," he sighed. "Not that I don't appreciate the pampering and free meals, mind you."
She smiled. "Yeah, can't really complain from that perspective. You have someone to take care of you, right? When you go back? Like a friend, o-or a girlfriend..."
Spike shook his head. "I live by myself," he said.
She frowned, seemingly disturbed by this. "Oh. Well, how are you going to get around? You shouldn't be alone with these kinds of injuries."
All he could do was shrug. He hadn't really thought about that. He supposed Willy and Staci might be willing to help him out--they had stopped by to visit a few times and sounded more than happy to take care of anything he needed help with. But he didn't really feel comfortable intruding. Willy and Staci had their own lives to worry about and didn't need him there complicating everything. "I suppose I'll have to stay in the hospital until I'm fully healed," he finally said. "Not much else I can do."
Buffy shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. You're welcome to stay with us until you're well again. We have a really big house and my mom's a nurse. She can take care of you."
Spike stared at her, his heart thudding rapidly against his chest. She was asking him to live with her? He didn't think he could handle that. Being in such close quarters with her and not being able to touch her or hold her? No. It was too much to even comprehend. "I don't think so, love. I'll be alright here."
"William, it's the least I could do. You wouldn't even be in this situation if it weren't for me. Please, just think about it. I know my parents won't mind--they're just as worried about you as I am." Then she added, "Well, Mom is, anyway. Dad sorta just makes this grunting sound every time I bring it up. But I know he won't mind either--anything to help prevent a lawsuit."
He chuckled. "Promise I won't sue. But I really don't think it's such a good idea. I wouldn't want to intrude or anything..."
"Not intruding at all. I wouldn't ask if I thought it was a bad idea."
Spike sighed and leaned back against his bed. He didn't really know what to think about this new turn of events. Shouldn't he be happy? Thrilled, even? Not only was Buffy offering him a place to stay--she was also offering him a place in her life. And maybe, just maybe, she would find a place for him in her heart as well.
Deciding that this was the only way he could ever live his new life with Buffy being a part of it, he nodded his head. "Alright."
"Yeah?" A smile broke out across her face. "Okay then. Great. I'll, um, go see if they can let you out early. Since my mom's a nurse, maybe they'll be more lenient about it."
"I appreciate what you're doin' for me, Buffy," he told her.
"Like I said, it's the least I can do," she explained. "I just feel so terrible about everything. I wish there was a way I could go back in time and change it all, you know? I would definitely think twice about getting into that car."
Spike held back his laugh of irony. No, you wouldn't.
"Anyway," she continued. "Let me go talk to the doctor and see what we can work out. I'll be right back, okay?"
"Alright, love."
"I'm really glad you're agreeing to this. I know it's kinda awkward since you don't exactly know me, but I want to make all of this up to you somehow. And I think this is the best way to do that. I know it doesn't change anything, but maybe it'll help." Buffy sent another brilliant smile his way and then made a swift exit out of the room.
Spike swallowed back the lump of trepidation in his throat and ran his hands over his face, wondering just what he was getting himself into...
There was a knock on the door and Spike sat up. "Come in," he said.
Willy entered the room, a pair of grey sweatpants in hand. "Got what you asked for. Will these work?"
Spike nodded. "Thanks, mate."
"Not a problem. Want me to dress you, too?"
He scoffed. "Thanks, but not a chance in hell."
Willy grinned and tossed the pants at him. "So, you're movin' in with the chick who almost killed you, huh?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
"Just checkin'," he replied. "Seems a bit insane if you ask me. Is she cute?"
Spike shifted on the bed. "No," he lied.
Suddenly, there was a second knock on the door. Buffy poked her head in.
Willy took one glance at her and arched a brow at Spike, unconvinced of his friend's previous assessment. Spike just shrugged.
"Hey," Buffy smiled. An older woman entered behind her. "This is my mom."
"Hello, Mrs. Summers," Spike said.
Joyce approached the bed and held out her hand to him. "Please. Call me Joyce."
Spike nodded and shook the woman's hand.
"So, are you all set?" Buffy asked from the doorway.
"Uh, need to get dressed first," Spike told her. "Really don't fancy wearin' this hospital gown out in public."
"Oh, but it brings out your eyes," she quipped.
Spike smiled. "Could you call Karen in here?"
"Sure," Buffy nodded and she and her mother left the room.
Willy immediately turned to his friend. "Not cute? She's hot as fuck, Tyler. Makes this whole thing look a lot less insane."
Spike rolled his eyes. "That's not why I'm doin' it, Willy. And it's not a permanent thing either. I'm just stayin' until I'm all cured up. Then it's back to the single life."
"Unless you and blondie hit it off," he added with a smirk.
"Not bloody likely. She's sixteen."
He winced. "Damn. Oh well."
Spike sighed and leaned back against the bed. As assumed, Buffy had convinced the doctors to let him out early, due to Joyce's familiarity with the medical field. He was grateful for that--anything that got him far away from this hellhole was welcomed. He had always hated hospitals.
A few minutes later, Karen entered the room. "Finally get to leave, huh?" she asked with a smile.
"Yeah. It's about time, too."
Willy cleared this throat. "I'm gonna take off, pal. Keep in touch, alright?"
"Okay. Thanks, Willy."
He gave him a wink and left the room.
Karen took the pair of sweatpants from Spike and cut down the left leg to make room for his cast. She then helped him sit up, legs dangling over the side of the bed, and began to assist him in changing. "Now, I want you to call us if anything out of the ordinary occurs, understand? The doctors don't expect any long-term damage, but head injuries can be unpredictable. So, if you have trouble remembering things, if there are changes in your vision, or anything like that, make sure you let us know immediately."
"I will," Spike agreed, pulling on his shirt. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. I'll go get Miss Summers and tell her to bring in the wheelchair. You take care now, William."
He gave the nurse a sincere smile and she exited the room. Buffy and Joyce stepped in moments later with his wheelchair and crutches.
"Bloody hell. Do I really have to ride in that thing?" Spike cringed upon seeing his new mode of transportation.
"Not for long," Buffy assured him. "Just until you get used to the crutches." She noticed him trying get up and quickly ran over to him. "Oh, here. Let me help you."
Spike brushed her off. "It's fine. I got it," he said, afraid that any sort of contact would be the end of him.
"Don't be so stubborn." She took his arm and threw it over her shoulders, holding him around the waist. Joyce rolled the wheelchair over and Buffy carefully lowered him into the seat. "There. That wasn't so hard."
Spike swallowed, trying to ignore the fire her touch had ignited. "Right..."
~~~
Buffy sat in the front passenger's seat of their mini-van and flipped down her visor. She took a small tube of cherry lip gloss out of her purse, applying it to her lips as an excuse to look into the mirror--when the real reason was currently sprawled out in the backseat of the van. She glanced at him, thankful that his eyes were closed.
They were currently on their way to his apartment so he could pick up his things. Buffy had to admit that she was a little nervous confronting her parents after the offer she had made to Spike. As predicted, her mother thought it was a wonderful idea. Her father, on the other hand, didn't quite share in the enthusiasm. He was upset with her for making such a rash decision without consulting the family first--which Buffy supposed was true, but she did almost take this man's life from him. The least she could do was offer him a place to stay while he recovered. Luckily, all Buffy had to do was bring up the term 'lawsuit' and Hank Summers relented. She knew that Spike wasn't going to sue them, but it was the only way to get through to her father.
So, the following day, the guest room was cleaned up and Joyce made a stop at the grocery store to stock up on more food. Buffy tidied up the house and made a few phone calls to her friends, informing them of the new situation. Angel was reluctant to accept the fact that a strange man would be moving in with her. Then again, Angel was reluctant to accept the term 'man' and 'Buffy' in the same sentence together. Man other than himself, anyway.
Cordelia was thrilled by the news. In fact, the first words out of her mouth were, 'Is he studly? Please tell me he's studly!' Buffy couldn't tell a lie. Spike was a very attractive man. He had cheekbones to die for and the most startling, electric blue eyes she had ever seen. If she knew Cordelia Chase at all, she knew that her best friend would be all over this, as she would say, 'salty goodness'.
Buffy smiled to herself as she studied him in the tiny mirror. Salty goodness, indeed...
As if knowing that she was thinking about him, Spike's eyes suddenly opened. Holding back a squeak of embarrassment for being caught ogling, she quickly snapped the mirror shut and flipped up the visor.
Bad Buffy! she scolded herself. You have a boyfriend! There will be no salty or goodnessy thoughts about your new house guest!
She sighed and slunk back in her seat. That brought her to her next issue: Riley. She feared that 'angry' would be an understatement in describing his reaction to the new family addition. He had already been upset by the fact that Buffy went to visit him almost every day during that first week. The only reason she'd stopped was because Riley was complaining that it was taking away from their 'after-school time'--which usually consisted of video games and an occasional make-out session. But, feeling guilty for neglecting her boyfriend, Buffy had given up the few hours she had spent by Spike's side to return to her and Riley's previously scheduled dates.
Now, upon hearing the news that this man was going to live with her... well, Riley was a little jealous--if not slightly threatened, as well.
Still, Buffy wasn't going to back down from doing what she thought was right, just because her boyfriend was being immature about it. He would get over it eventually.
Before Buffy could continue with her thoughts, they pulled into the unfamiliar parking lot of an apartment complex.
"We're here," Joyce informed them.
Buffy unbuckled her seatbelt and immediately jumped out of the van to help Spike with his wheelchair.
When they finally made it up to his room, Buffy quickly began rummaging around for the things he requested. She pulled a suitcase out from his closet and filled it up with his clothes and toiletries.
"You don't have much," she observed, folding up yet another black t-shirt and placing it into the suitcase.
"Was never real big on material possessions," he shrugged.
"Huh." Buffy noticed that he kept a close eye on her as she moved about the room. As she stepped over to his dresser, something caught her attention. "What's this?" she asked, picking up the crystal.
"Don't!"
She froze.
"I mean... give it here," he corrected, holding out his hand.
Buffy made a face. "Does it bite or something?"
"Uh, no. It's sort of a good luck charm. An old friend gave it to me," he explained, plucking the green object from her hand and dropping it into the pocket of his leather duster. "It means a lot to me."
"I can see that."
He didn't respond, so she continued to gather up items to pack into his suitcase. When she finished, Joyce appeared at the door a few moments later to help carry his things back to the van, and Buffy began to wheel him out. "Ready to go home?" she smiled, as they walked out into the welcoming sun.
Spike nodded.
Home.
Spike remembered everything.
Where he had parked his car. The exact spot on the sidewalk in which he'd first approached Buffy. The way her hair had bounced behind her as she walked out the door, unknowing that her life was about to change forever. Unknowing that those next two weeks would be her last...
As soon as they turned onto her street, he remembered it all. The memories captured him, assaulted him, and choked him until there was nothing left but a tired man who was more lost than he ever was before. This wasn't where he belonged--in her neighborhood, on her street, at her home. He didn't deserve to be anywhere near her world. He was beneath it.
But he had no choice now but to accept this new life, because they were pulling into her driveway and Buffy was smiling at him as if he hadn't destroyed her, as if he hadn't ruined her, as if he hadn't let her die...
"Buffy, you wouldn't be lying in this bed if it weren't for me," he reminded her, the disdain he held for himself beginning to surface. "I destroyed you."
"No, you didn't," she corrected. "You brought me to life."
"How can you say that?"
"Because it's true. I've never felt this way before. I've never felt more whole, more real. More alive. You saved me, too."
"I killed you!"
She smiled. "I'll be okay."
Was she? Was she really okay? She looked okay now, but this wasn't the same woman he had once known. She wasn't the same woman who had given him hope and love and forgiveness. Who had opened up a part of him that had been buried long ago, or quite possibly never even existed. This girl wasn't real. She was only a picture of the love he once knew.
She was only a spell.
Spike closed his eyes, all too aware of the small crystal in his pocket. It was calling to him, mocking him, telling him what a fool he'd been to think that he could bring Buffy back and everything would be perfect.
Nothing was perfect. He knew that now.
But there was nothing he could do about it. He had the option of breaking the crystal, but then Buffy would be truly dead. And she deserved this life--she deserved to be happy, even if Spike would never be a part of that happiness.
She deserved to live.
Buffy stood beside him, curious as to what he was thinking about. His eyes were focused intently on... well, something, and it looked as if his mind was in another place entirely. She frowned. "Are you awake back there?"
Her voice broke into Spike's thoughts and he glanced up. Realizing Buffy was no longer in the car--she was standing beside him, door open and wheelchair unfolded--he blinked a few times to regain his focus. "Uh, right. Sorry."
Buffy just shrugged. Then she helped him out of the van and wheeled him inside, while Joyce carried in his suitcases.
"Dad! We're home!" Buffy shouted, upon entering the large house.
"Oh, your father went out, sweetheart. Work at the office."
She pouted. "But he said he'd go in late so he could meet William."
"I'm sure he just forgot," Joyce assured her.
Buffy sighed and wheeled him into the spacious living room. She stopped abruptly when a small group of people greeted them.
Spike recognized the tall, broad-shouldered man immediately.
Angel O'Neil.
"Guys!" Buffy exclaimed. "What are you are all doing here?"
Joyce smiled and entered the kitchen. "I told them they could drop by to meet our new guest. Introduce them, honey."
She cleared her throat. "Right. William, these are my friends. That's Angel," she pointed out. "That's Cordelia. And that's Anya. Guys, this is William."
"Spike," he corrected and held out his hand.
Cordelia and Anya raced over to meet him. Cordelia won.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. Buffy wasn't lying when she said you were gorgeous."
Spike arched a brow at the small blonde to his left and she blushed furiously.
Buffy made the mental note of 'kill Cordelia and make it painful'.
Ignoring her friend's obvious discomfort, Anya decided to make the new guest's acquaintance. "Spike," she noted. "Interesting name. Penis metaphor?"
"Anya!" Buffy said, mortified.
"What? Like I was the only one thinking it?"
Spike couldn't help but gape at the slender blonde. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Uh, well... no. I just liked the name is all," he explained.
"Huh." She shrugged. "Disappointing."
Angel sauntered over to him then, speaking for the first time. "We've met, haven't we?" he inquired.
Spike froze, unsure of what he was implying. "Don't believe so, mate."
"Aren't you a cop? I could've sworn you gave me a ticket once." He looked over to where Buffy was standing. She still appeared to be embarrassed from Cordelia's 'gorgeous' remark. "Remember, Buffy?"
"Huh? What?"
"Spike. He gave me a ticket for speeding. You were with me."
Buffy frowned and studied the bleached blonde. Then her eyes widened in recollection. "Oh, he's right!" She paused. "Wait, you're a cop?"
Spike actually had to think about it for a moment. Was he still a cop? No, that meant he would have to be with Drusilla. And she broke up with him... July, 2000. So, no. He was no longer a cop. "Was," he finally corrected. "Not anymore."
"What happened?" Cordelia asked.
"Long story."
A few moments of silence went by until the group finally realized that he wasn't going to share.
"Well," Buffy said, approaching Spike once more. "I'm going to show him to his room. We'll be back down soon. You guys are welcome to stay if you want."
"Plan on it," Cordelia smiled and gave Spike wink.
Anya elbowed the brunette in the ribs.
"Ouch!"
Buffy sighed. "Come on. Your room's upstairs," she told him.
"How do you s'pose we get up the stairs, love?" he asked, gesturing towards the wheelchair. "My new accessory isn't exactly made for climbin'."
"We have an elevator."
Spike looked at her. "Oh."
"Yeah. Snazzy stuff like elevators tend to come with the whole 'my dad is the head of an evil law firm' package."
"Evil?" he wondered.
She shrugged. "It's a law firm. What law firm isn't evil?"
He smiled as they entered the elevator. "Good point."
Buffy pressed a few buttons and they approached the second floor. When the doors opened, she pushed him out into the hallway and headed towards his room. "Sorry it's kinda bland," she apologized, flipping on the light switch. "We don't use it much."
"It's fine, pet." He looked around the spacious guest room. The walls were painted a lush, forest green and the hard wood floor was made out of oak, giving the room a very 'outdoorsy' vibe. There was a large, king-sized bed in the middle, with a nightstand beside it. A television sat across from the bed on a wooden table, and there was a tall bookshelf to its left, lined with an assortment of books and other knick-knacks. Aside from a small lamp beside his bed and a ceiling fan, that's pretty much all the room consisted of. His eyes then strayed to the door on the opposite side of the room. "Bathroom?" he inquired.
"Yep. It's a connecting bathroom--I hope that's not a problem. My mom wanted to give you the room next to mine, just in case of an emergency," Buffy explained. "So, just ignore all the girly things in there."
"It's not a problem at all."
"Great. Um, do you want me to help you unpack? Or--?"
"Actually, I wouldn't mind gettin' accustomed to those." Spike pointed to the crutches that lay atop his bed. "This wheelchair's a right pain in the ass."
"Are you sure? You don't think it's too soon?"
"Trust me, love. One minute in this bloody thing and you'll be lookin' at the crutches like they're your new best friends," he said.
She relented and handed them to him. "Want some help?"
"No, I got it." He took the two crutches and edged off the seat of the wheelchair. He tried to rise up without putting too much pressure on his left leg, but was having obvious difficulty. Bugger.
Buffy immediately reached out to help him. "Here..."
He shook her off. "Said I got it."
"You are so stubborn," she sighed.
Spike attempted to stand up again, and almost succeeded. Unfortunately, his right shoe got caught on the foot rest and he stumbled forward--right into Buffy.
"Oh!" she squeaked in surprise, as the sudden weight was propelled against her. She instinctively took a step back as she caught him, so they both didn't tumble to the floor. "A-Are you okay?"
Spike looked down at her, their faces mere inches apart. Her eyes were wide with worry and he could feel her warm breath against his lips. He was so close to her--too close. "Fine," he finally said, but it came out more like a choked whisper.
Buffy swallowed, as she held his gaze. He had the strangest look in his eyes and a brief sense of familiarity suddenly swept over her. "Do I... know you?" she asked hesitantly.
He took a step back from her then, but not enough to lose his balance. What exactly was she implying? Did she... remember him? "I..." He shook his head. That was impossible. "No. I don't think so."
She straightened as well. "No... no, I guess you're right."
"Aside from that ticket I gave the poof downstairs."
Buffy scrunched up her nose at the term 'poof'. "Yeah. That must be it. And... are you sure you're okay?"
"Uh, yeah. Are you? Didn't mean to fall on you like that."
She waved her hand dismissively. "I'm perfectly good. But let's get you sitting down, so we don't have a repeat performance on our hands."
He smiled, as she helped him over to the bed. They sat down and Spike turned to her, eager to change the subject. Maybe not onto happier issues, but issues he was curious about nonetheless. "So, what happened with you and the authorities?"
"Huh?" she frowned. Then she realized he was referring to the accident. "Right. Riley and I got three months of community service."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, our dads kinda got us off with a lesser punishment. Money talks these days."
Spike nodded, realizing she would have only gotten three months extra for killing Riley Finn and Staci Newman. "That it?"
Buffy bit her lip, feeling terribly guilty for not being sentenced to death for her crime. He didn't look too pleased that she got off so easily. "Well, I did lose my license for an ungodly amount of time. But other than that, yeah. Unless you decide to, um, press charges..."
"I won't," he assured her.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did. Almost dying can't be a very pleasant experience..."
"No, not exactly. But I appreciate what you're doin' for me--letting me stay here and all."
"Don't thank me," she said. "Please."
He nodded.
Buffy stood up. "Right. Well, I better get back to my friends. If you need anything, just give me a buzz."
Spike arched a brow.
"Oh. Forgot about that." She stepped over to the wall beside his bed and pointed to a row of labeled buttons. "If you ever need anything, just hold the button down and talk into the speaker. Each button is connected to a certain part of the house. The living room, kitchen, my room, my parent's room... If you need something, just let us know."
"Alright, love."
Buffy walked over to the door. "Are you sure you don't need help unpacking?" she asked, before exiting the room.
"Nah, I'll manage. The crutches won't be too hard to figure out."
"If you say so," she shrugged. "But remember--I won't be here to catch you if you fall."
Spike looked away, trying to ignore the double meaning of her words. "Right then. I'll give you holler if I need anything."
"Okay. I'll be back soon."
He gave her a tight smile and watched as she left the room. Then he fell backwards onto the bed with a deep sigh. "Home sweet home..."
Author's Note: I switched back to my regular writing style in this chapter, in case you noticed a change. I had tried to write from the different POVs, but I decided to go back to the 'head hopping' (multiple POVs in the same scene). It's how I've always written, but I wanted to give the other style a try. Unfortunately, it wasn't working out. Maybe I'll try it again in a different story.
Anyway, just thought I'd make that note to all of the readers who might have caught onto the sudden change. Hopefully it's not too obvious. :)
Buffy, Cordelia, and Anya all sat on the couch together, while Angel rummaged around the kitchen for something to eat.
"So, you're just regular friends then, right?" Anya asked. "Not orgasm friends?"
Buffy looked at her incredulously. "I've known him for, like, two days!"
"Good." Anya smiled, pleased. "So, can he be my orgasm friend?"
Cordelia rolled her eyes. Buffy groaned.
"This whole thing is ridiculous," Angel announced, entering the living room with a bag of Doritos. "You don't even know this guy. He could be anybody."
"Angel," Buffy warned. "We've been over this."
"So, what, just because you think he's hot, he gets a free vacation at the Casa Summers?"
"It's not like that," she frowned. "I almost killed him. This is the least I could do."
Angel shook his head. "I still don't like it."
Cordelia stuck her hand into the bag and pulled out a handful of chips. "You're just jealous."
"I'm not jealous," Angel countered.
"Oh, please. You've been 'tall, dark, and broody' ever since Buffy told you about it."
He scowled. "With good reason. We don't know anything about this guy. He could be some psychopath who plans to kidnap you and hold you hostage in a dingy hotel room in the middle of nowhere."
The three girls exchanged amused glances.
"Right," Buffy said. "Like that would ever happen..."
"Besides," Anya piped up. "That could be fun."
Buffy arched a brow.
"Seriously," Anya explained. "Mystery, danger, intrigue... not to mention, Spike is quite the honey. Kinky things are bound to happen."
"Is that all you think about?" Buffy shook her head in disbelief.
She popped a nacho-flavored chip into her mouth. "Of course."
Angel leaned back against the sofa with a sigh. "I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into," he continued.
"Angel, will you quit it?" Buffy said in exasperation. "You're starting to sound just like Riley. And I so do not need another jealous guy on my hands bitching at me about this."
"Don't compare me to that idiot," Angel growled.
"He's not an idiot. He's my boyfriend. And you're not, so just get over it already."
An uncomfortable silence washed over the room.
Buffy stood up. "I need some air."
But before she could make it out of the room, there was a knock at the front door. She sighed and jogged across the house to answer it.
Riley stood there looking none too pleased. "Where is he?" he asked.
Buffy stepped aside, so Riley could enter. "I really don't need this from you right now. Angel's making a big enough fuss for the both of you."
"I'm not making a fuss," he insisted. "I just want to meet him. He is shacking it up with my girl, after all."
"He's not... shacking!" she exclaimed.
"Right. Just living here for God knows how long, right next to your bedroom."
"That was Mom's idea, remember? Besides, it's the biggest guest room in the house."
"Whatever," he shrugged. "Can I see him?"
"Only if you promise not to go all 'jealous boyfriend' on him."
"Hardly jealous," Riley scoffed. "Just worried. He could be--"
"Some psychopath who plans to kidnap me and hold me hostage in a dingy hotel room in the middle of nowhere?" she offered, cheerily.
"Well, I was going to say 'axe murderer'... but, yeah. That works, too."
"You guys are so paranoid," she sighed. "Come on, I'll show you to his room."
They proceeded up the winding staircase, Buffy leading the way. When she reached his bedroom door, she knocked on it softly.
"Wil--Spike?" she quickly corrected. He obviously wanted her friends and family to call him by the preferred nickname. She made it a note to ask him again if he really didn't mind her calling him 'William' or if he was just being nice. "It's Buffy. Can I come in?" It was silent on the other end. She frowned. "Spike?"
Riley tapped his foot impatiently. "Can't you just barge in or something? It is your house."
"This is his bedroom, Riley. I'm not going to be rude." But when he still didn't answer after the third attempt, she sighed and turned to her boyfriend. "Wait here. I'll see what's up."
Buffy hesitantly turned the doorknob and poked her head in. When Spike was nowhere to be found, she entered the room. She looked towards the bathroom and noticed the door was slightly ajar and the light was shining underneath. She bit her lip, wondering if she should check on him to make sure he was okay. Deciding it was the best thing to do, she walked across the room and slowly opened the bathroom door.
And audibly gasped when she saw him standing there in only a bath towel.
"Buffy," he said, seeing her in the doorway.
"W-William. What are you... ? I-I mean, I was knocking and..." She swallowed and finally pulled her gaze from his bare chest--although the small, faded scars that marred his skin did not go unnoticed. "What are you doing?"
Spike cleared his throat. "Right. Well, I was 'bout to take a shower--then I realized the cast presented a bit of a problem."
"Oh." She blinked a few times. "O-Oh, right. Yeah. You're probably going to need some help with the showering. Do you want me to call my mom up? Maybe she can help--"
"Bloody hell. No, I'll... figure it out myself," he insisted.
Suddenly, Riley appeared in the doorway. He stood behind Buffy and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "Well, if it isn't the infamous Spike. I'm Riley--Buffy's boyfriend."
Buffy gave a tight smile.
Spike just nodded. "Nice to meet you, mate."
"Likewise." Riley studied the bleached blonde and sighed in relief. So maybe he was slightly attractive, but in the end, Buffy would never go for a guy like Spike. She preferred the popular jocks--not some loser who looked to be stuck in the eighties. Who the hell bleaches their hair these days, anyway? Riley smiled. Just idiots like Spike, obviously... "So, I hear you're sticking around for a while," he continued. "It was nice of Buffy to take pity on you."
Spike just raised a scarred brow at the muscle head in the doorway. Was this guy for real?
Buffy immediately pulled away from Riley's embrace. "It wasn't pity, Riley. He needed a place to stay."
"So, he's homeless or something?"
"I'm not homeless, you git."
"He lived alone," Buffy explained.
Riley smirked and muttered under his breath, "That's a shocker..."
Spike tossed down the wash rag he was holding and began to move away from the sink. But then he remembered the cast and stopped before he managed to step forward.
Riley noticed Spike's inability to properly defend himself and stifled a laugh. "Well, I gotta run, babe. I'll, uh... see you tonight?" He gave her a suggestive wink.
Buffy blushed at the obvious innuendo. "U-Um, yeah. Tonight."
"Great," Riley grinned. He then leaned down to give her a passionate kiss on the mouth.
Spike's jaw clenched and his grip tightened considerably on the edge of the sink. Unable to watch another second of the sickening display before him, he closed his eyes and turned his head.
Buffy managed to push Riley off of her. She could tell that her boyfriend was desperately trying to make a scene in front of Spike. "Riley, go. I'll see you later, okay?"
He nodded. Then he turned to Spike and said, "Nice meeting you, Sparky."
Buffy smacked him on the arm. "It's Spike."
"Whatever." He gave Buffy one last peck on the lips and disappeared from the room.
Spike swallowed back his sorrow, not wanting Buffy to see his reaction to the kiss. "Well," he said. "He's--"
"Being a complete jerk," Buffy sighed. "I know. And I'm sorry."
"Not your fault."
"I should've known he'd be all immature about this. Are you okay? I-I know he said some stuff--"
"I'm fine, love," he interrupted. "I can take my lumps."
"But you shouldn't have to--take your lumps, I mean. They're lumpy, a-and you're a guest here. You should feel comfortable, you know?"
Spike couldn't help the smile that quirked at his lips. No matter how different she may be, that adorable, innocent charm he had fallen in love with was still there. "It's alright, Buffy. Really."
She nodded. "I am sorry, though. I promise to talk to him tonight. Maybe I can get him to turn it down a notch."
"Right," he said, then turned away from her. "Tonight." He was well aware of what would take place 'tonight'. Buffy had confessed to him that she'd slept with Riley a couple of weeks before the accident. So, there was no doubt in his mind that something along those lines was going to occur--most likely in the room right next to him. He would have to go to sleep that night, knowing that someone else was making love to Buffy. The thought alone made him feel sick. And angry.
And alone.
Buffy noticed the sudden crestfallen look on Spike's face, and worry marred her brow. "William? Are you okay?"
"Never better," he grumbled. He didn't know if he'd ever get used to her calling him 'William'. He didn't mind it, of course. It was actually kind of endearing. But it was also new. Just like the rest of this life he had been thrown into.
He sighed and faced Buffy once again. "Look, I'm goin' to try and get a bath started. I'll let you know if I need anything."
"Are you sure you don't want me to get my mom? I know it'll be a little awkward, but she's a nurse. She does this kinda stuff all the time."
He shook his head. "Thanks, but I'll pass. 'Ta, love."
Buffy took that as her cue to leave. "Right. I'll, um, see you later then."
She stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind her. There was something strange about Spike. Something... hidden. The way he looked at her sometimes--it was as if he knew her. Really knew her.
But that was ridiculous. The only time she had ever seen him was when he gave Angel a ticket.
Buffy sighed, as she stepped out of his room. She was probably just being paranoid.
Deciding not to dwell on it, she shut the door and hurried down the stairs to socialize with her friends.
Buffy was sitting in bed, flipping through a magazine, when Riley walked into her room.
"Your mom let me in," he said, as he approached her.
Buffy set the magazine down. "I thought you weren't coming over until later," she noted.
"What can I say? I missed you."
"You saw me two hours ago," she laughed lightly.
Riley just shrugged and sat down at the foot of the bed. "So, I just wanted you to know that I am unthreatened. That idiot can stick around if he has to."
"You're..." Buffy shook her head, looking at him incredulously. "You think I need your approval?"
"Well, yeah. I'm your boyfriend."
"And that means you suddenly have control over all my decisions?"
"I should have complete control over this one. It's not everyday your girlfriend invites some random guy to live with her," he pointed out.
"He's not some random guy, Riley! I hurt him--almost killed him, because I was careless and stupid. And offering him a place to stay seems pretty fair considering all I've put him through," Buffy argued. "Why are you acting like this, anyway? It's not like he's competing for me or something. He's just a guest in our house. Nothing more."
"Oh, please. It's obvious he's going to be sniffing after you in no time."
"What?" she gaped at him.
Riley rolled his eyes. "You're so naive, Buffy."
She had no idea what to say to this. Riley was acting like the biggest jerk and the thought of breaking up with him right here and now was being put through some serious consideration. "I cannot believe you. You don't even know William."
"William?" he asked, arching a brow. "Now you've got pet names for each other? I thought his name was Spike."
Buffy bit down on her tongue for fear of saying something regrettable. "You need to leave, Riley. I can't deal with this right now."
"Oh, c'mon. Don't be like that."
"Be like what? You're the one being the asshole!" she shouted.
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't try to throw this on me. You're the one who's been distant and bitchy ever since the night of the accident. And you know it."
She nodded. She did know it. Before the accident, she could've sworn she was falling in love with Riley. But after what he said that night--about wanting to leave without getting help--well, that tends to stick with a girl. She never could've forgiven herself if she'd left, and she had no idea how Riley could've even suggested such a thing. So, yeah. She was being distant. And she had every right to be. "Maybe I have been. But that still doesn't excuse the way you're treating me or my choices. You have no right to judge me. I did what I thought was right and I'd do it again if I had to, no matter what you think about it."
Riley's jaw tightened in anger, but for the sake of getting laid tonight, he relaxed. "You're right. I'm sorry."
Buffy frowned, expecting a huge fight. "You are?"
"Yeah. I've been a prick and I know it. It's just... hard, you know? I care about you so much and the thought of losing you to..." He sighed and put his head down. "I'm sorry, Buffy."
She couldn't help but smile. He sounded sincere enough. Maybe if he could look past the jealousy, she could look past the resentment she still felt from that night. "I-It's okay. I know it's probably hard to find out a guy is going to be living with me all of a sudden. But you have nothing to worry about--I promise."
He looked up at her. "I know. I shouldn't jump to conclusions. I'm sure what's his name is a good guy."
"Spike," she corrected. "And if we're going to get past this, I want you start treating him with respect, okay? He's our guest and he shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable here."
Riley didn't like it, but he relented. "Yeah, alright. I'll cut him some slack."
"Good," she nodded. "So, we're okay now?"
"Definitely."
She gave him a small smile and picked her magazine back up.
Riley took it from her and set it back down on the bed. But before she could protest, he was on her, mouth seeking hers.
"Riley!" she squeaked in surprise, pushing him off. "Jeez. Attack much?"
He grinned, sheepishly. "Sorry, babe. I just thought... well, you know..."
She raised her eyebrows, obviously not knowing.
"You know," he insisted. "We haven't been very intimate since the accident. I want that fire back."
Buffy frowned at the term 'fire'. She never really had that kind of feeling with him. She liked him, yes, but the physical attraction wasn't as strong as she wanted it to be. She didn't burn for him. "I-I know," she lied. "I want it, too. I just don't know if tonight is the night to, uh... rekindle."
"Why not? We've only had sex that one time," he countered. "Didn't you like it?"
"Of course!" Again with the lying. To be honest, losing her virginity to Riley last month was probably a mistake. It was very awkward and she was left feeling uncomfortable and unsatisfied. She had been reluctant to sleep with him again ever since. "I'm just not in the mood right now."
Riley sulked. "You're never in the mood."
"I am so! I guess I'm just kinda tired. I was thinking about taking a nap before supper."
"Right. Another excuse. This is really starting to get old..."
"I'm not making excuses, Riley! Just because I don't want sex at the moment, doesn't mean I don't want you."
"Then prove it," he said. "Prove that you want me the way I want you."
"I--"
"C'mon, Buffy. Show me how you feel."
"I don't..."
He advanced on her, hands disappearing underneath her tank top and lips conquering her neck.
Buffy was starting to feel uncomfortable. She didn't want to have sex with Riley. But he was pressuring her, and what would happen if she turned him down? Would he break up with her? Spread horrible rumors about her around school? She didn't want that. Besides, she already gave herself to him once--it was probably expected of her to do it again. Right?
Swallowing back her doubts, she closed her eyes and tried to feel that 'fire' Riley had talked about.
But she didn't feel it. Not once. And when Riley finally rolled off of her and cradled her naked body against his, she felt violated and confused.
Did sex always feel like this? Was there something wrong with her?
Stifling a sob, she pulled herself out of Riley's arms and sat up in bed. She looked over at him, thankful he had fallen asleep.
He wasn't going to like where she was going.
~~~
Spike laid there in bed, listening to the conversation in the room next to him. He wondered if Buffy knew how thin the walls were.
"He's just a guest in our house. Nothing more."
His fists clenched at his sides. He knew it shouldn't hurt so much, but it did. He had once shared a love with this girl so raw and beautiful, and now he was nothing more than a burden to her.
Spike ran his hands through his hair, picking up bits and pieces as the conversation continued. He realized that the subject had changed.
"Right. Another excuse. This is really starting to get old..."
Excuse?
"I'm not making excuses, Riley! Just because I don't want sex at the moment, doesn't mean I don't want you."
Oh.
"Then prove it. Prove that you want me the way I want you."
Spike's entire body tensed in reaction to Riley's words. How dare he try to pressure her into having sex with him. That filthy, buggering...
But what he heard next had him seething in disgust, because he knew that Buffy had given in to him. How could she degrade herself like that? The woman he knew would never let herself be taken advantage of. She took what she wanted when she wanted it. Not when some wanker was forcing her to take it. How could she possibly have changed so much from the woman he knew? From the woman he loved?
Then he realized that those were stupid questions, because Buffy hadn't changed at all. Not yet. And now, not ever. The effects of being blind had been what changed her from this susceptible girl, to the outspoken, vibrant, young woman he had fallen in love with.
But damnit, she was still Buffy. She had that same charm, beauty, and spark that made her positively unique and wonderful. And God help him if he didn't admit that he was just as enamored by her as he was back then.
Spike sighed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to block out the sounds of Riley's moaning and groaning. It was killing him to know that Riley was in there right now, pleasuring himself in something Spike could never have. Not again, anyway.
Although he was very aware of the fact that Buffy had yet to make a peep.
Stupid git.
A few more minutes went by and Riley's moans finally faded, much to Spike's relief. It was hard enough just knowing what was going on in the other room, but hearing it, too?
He growled in frustration. But before he could bury his head in his pillow to try and block out any post-coital noises, there was a soft knock at his door. "Come in," he grumbled.
And to his surprise, Buffy poked her head in.
"Hi," she said, her voice low and timid.
"Hey." For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to look at her. Not after knowing what just happened in the room next door...
"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything. I just wanted to see how you were feeling." Buffy hesitantly approached his bedside, noticing the tightening of his jaw and the far away look in his eyes. He looked upset. "I'm bothering you, aren't I? I-I can go. I was just--"
"No," he told her. "It's alright."
"Are you in any pain?"
Spike shook his head, but didn't say anything.
"Oh. Well, that's good."
"Yeah."
Buffy chewed on her bottom a lip--a habit she picked up whenever she was nervous. "Right. Well, I was just checking up on you."
"I appreciate it," he said.
"No problem. Oh, and dinner's going to be ready soon. Did you want to come down or should I bring something up?"
Spike thought about it for a moment. He figured it would be rude to refuse the invitation, so he shrugged. "I'll come down. Thanks."
She nodded. "My dad will be there, so you can meet him. I have to admit, he's a bit intimidating. And he'll probably talk your ear off about work. Just nod and smile."
"Will do."
Buffy cleared her throat when it appeared he wasn't going to say anymore. "Okay. Well, let me know if you need help getting down there. The elevator is just down the hall to your left."
"Alright then," he replied and managed a small smile.
"Great. I'll, uh, see you soon."
Spike watched her as she silently left the room.
Then he sighed.
This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.
A/N: And that marks the end of the pre-written chapters. I apologize ahead of time if there's some long waits in between updates. I'll try my best to beat this evil writer's block and get some new chapters to you soon.
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