Reviewer: kaoya
Title: Chapter 1
Date Signed: 10-11-07

It was alright, not nearly as engaging as the other fanfictions found here but you've certainly got me hooked as to wondering what it is about Spike that's changed. The asterixes between paragraphs makes reading it a frustration for me though, as usually I take it as a symbol that the story's moved to an entirely different scene/time/place. I also personally advice that more descriptive words and a broader vocabulary when you write so it's more engaging and realistic for the audience, and for you not to rely on using "And" so much as a sentence starter as you do this occasionally. That's all- keep it up!

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